Regulus made the familiar walk up the astronomy tower unconsciously. Every Thursday evening an hour after dinner. His friends were used to him disappearing. They drove him nuts sometimes but he had to admit they left him alone when he needed it.
And Thursday nights he needed it.
He’s at the top of the Astronomy tower before he knows it. The sun has set by now and the vast sky full of stars is clear from up here. In his first few years at Hogwarts it was his escape. His peace. Away from the stress of being baby Black of the infamous Black family. The child his parents had their hopes set on still. The silence of the tower was all he thought of when the screaming at Grimmauld place became too much.
But more recently the peace of the tower became different. Now this silence, the endless stars, was not enough. So he laid out the blanket he had stolen from the common room over the cold ground and settled. And waited. Waited for his soleil. His sun.
It wasn’t long before he could hear footsteps on the stairs. Minutes later they reached the top and James emerged from under his invisibility cloak, tossing it on the blanket beside him as Regulus sprang to his feet.
In a few steps of his long legs James had him swept up, arms firm around his waist. Regulus, now held up off the ground wrapped his own arms tightly around James’ neck and joined their lips. It had been hours since he had gotten to do that, and the kiss didn’t last nearly long enough due to the smile breaking his face. The smile he reserved only for James.
“I missed you too love.” James’ grin matches his own and he rests their foreheads together.
“You’re late.” Regulus attempts to regain some of his pride, forcing the smile off his face. It only slightly works, he’s pretty sure he’s pouting instead.
“I’m sorry. I came as fast as I could.” He says, pouting cutely himself and rubbing his nose against Regulus’ gently.
“Not fast enough.” He huffs, tucking his face into James’ neck and wrapping his legs around James’ hips.
“I know. But I’m here now.” James says. His hands run soothingly up and down Regulus’ back and he’s pretty sure he’s grinning again. He can feel James’ smile against his head as James kisses the top of it.
He feels them move, James isn’t even slowed down by carrying Regulus.
Regulus flushes as he settles the both of them on the blanket. Regulus is in James’ lap and loving every minute of it. Stupid gorgeous chaser and his big muscles. Except he’s not stupid at all. Stupid smart gorgeous chaser and his big muscles.
Get a grip on yourself Regulus.
But he can’t. His boyfriend is perfect and they’re finally alone.
He takes full advantage of this fact and pulls back for another kiss.
James kisses him back enthusiastically as he always does. Regulus feels himself flush again when he feels James’ fingers sliding lightly under the hem of his t-shirt.
“You’re forgiven.” He says, attempting to sound scolding but coming out breathless as James moves from kissing his lips to kissing his neck. He tilts his head to the side to give James more room.
He threads his fingers into James’ hair and tugs firmly, getting a groan in response.
He’s so caught up in the moment, caught up in the hickey James is definitely sucking into his neck, he doesn’t notice another set of footsteps on the stairs. He notices nothing until a startled gasp and a loud exclamation is made.
“WHAT THE FUCK.”
Regulus head whips around so hard he probably gave himself whiplash. His eyes find a very red Sirius gaping like a fish out of water.
Regulus can feel his throat go dry. James is silent, staring at Sirius in horror.
“My best friend and my little brother. By best friend sucking a hickey onto my little brother’s neck. The two of you had better have an amazing explanation for this. Because if you don’t I’m killing James.” Sirius says. Regulus has seen Sirius angry plenty of times. He has seen his brother bright red and screaming into their mothers face. But this look, the one that can’t seem to decide between mad and betrayed, this one he has never seen before.
Regulus raises a brow.
“I think it’s safe to say the only explanation for this is the true one. James and I are dating.” Regulus says, staring directly into Sirius’ eyes. Daring him to say something bad.
“No, you’re not.”
“Yes, we are.” James voice is so quiet it’s hardly audible, especially now his face is buried into Regulus’ chest.
“No you’re not. Because if you are that means you have been lying to me for weeks, months for all I know. Is that what you’re telling me James?” Sirius’ voice is venomous. He feels James’ flinch.
“Sirius.” Regulus says, he can hear the warning in his own voice. He hopes Sirius takes the hint.
“You keep your mouth shut. This is between me and my best friend. Or maybe former best friend after this. You and I are hardly back on speaking terms, this is not the time to ruin that privilege.” Sirius is pointing an accusing finger and him now.
“Sirius stop.” James says quickly. Always jumping to his defence. It’s one of his favourite things about James. Knowing all of Regulus and still wanting to keep him safe from harm.
“And you. You know how hard it has been for Regulus and I to get on neutral terms. I have told you everything about what our parents did to me. What he did to me when I finally decided to leave. You more than anyone should want to keep away from him. Instead, you’re sucking his face in the astronomy tower. Just how long has this been going on? You and I were supposed to tell each-other everything. I know everything about you. And you don’t tell me this? You don’t get to pull this shit. I’ve been living with you for two years. You’re supposed to help me, protect me. Mr Perfect screwing me over. I really expected more from you Prongs. I’m sure your parents would too.”
Too far.
Regulus had been willing to let Sirius rant and rave to his hearts content. Had been willing to let him blow of steam, burn holes in the floor with all his pacing. Hell he was willing to let him scream at him for all of their past issues.
But not this.
James had been a great sound board as he figured out how abusive his parents were. How awful that house was. How much his life had value. James even had him convinced to move in with him. First to the Potters then to the apartment he planned to live in while he trained to be an auror once school was over. Far away from his parents. A safe home at last.
But their relationship was also all about balance. He talked and James listened. And James talked and he listened. James told him about his ADHD, the struggles of class and studying, his anxiety. How impossible he found it to talk to his friends, his parents. How worried he was about being perfect. All the heavy things he carried. All the things he put aside in favour of helping his friends with their heavy things. In his rambling, Sirius had hit on so many of James’ insecurities all at once.
James had started shaking, his pulse picking up and his breaths becoming ragged against Regulus’ chest. An anxiety attack. He had to do something. Every instinct in him screamed at him to protect his sunshine.
Regulus took a deep breath, squeezed James tightly and stood up.
James whined softly and reached for him, but Regulus just stroked his jaw gently, hoping to convey his comfort through the touch. He moved further from James towards Sirius who had finally stopped pacing and was looking from him to James.
Regulus’ face must have shown some of how he felt because Sirius took half a step back.
“I get you’re mad. Maybe that’s fair enough. If you want to talk about the issues between us, we can within reason. If you want us to tell you about how this happened, we will within reason. If you want to work through all of this at an appropriate volume like adults, we can.” Regulus’ confidence grew with every word.
He could do this, he could protect his boyfriend. He could fight the battle that his smart, kind and wonderful boyfriend could not. He could keep his soleil safe.
“But if what you want to do is send James into an anxiety attack, you are going to turn around and walk away before I hex you. You have no right to play the Mr Perfect card, or Prongs the protector. You don’t get to play the truth card, or the living together card. And you certainly don’t get to play the parent card. Not with him. James is a great friend to you. You’ve been a selective friend to him at best. I’m the one he comes to when you’re too busy thinking about your boyfriend to listen to the things stressing him out. I’m the one he comes to when he’s scared of failing and scared that his issues aren’t big enough, aren’t important enough, to talk to your precious Marauders about. I’m the one he comes to when he feels like the weight of his world and everyone else’s is on his shoulders. Not you. So right now you have a choice to make. Either you apologise to that wonderful man right now.” He points at James, scared to look at him for fear he is doing a little too much protective boyfriend yelling. “Or you can leave and never speak to me or him again. I want desperately to have a relationship with you again Sirius, really I do. But I also love your best friend, more than I ever thought was possible. And seeing him hurt, hurts me. Seeing how he worries for you and everyone else, and never for himself hurts me. He loves you so much. Do not destroy him, and the friendship you have, over this.”
Regulus takes a deep breath. He’s pretty sure he hasn’t stopped talking in hours, really it was only a few minutes. He feels the weight of the words he said.
Sirius is staring at him, mouth wide open.
He can hear James standing behind him. He’s too scared to look back. Terrified he has overstepped. Terrified James doesn’t love him back.
He really went more overprotective than he realised he was capable of. And spilled the secret he had been keeping since they first kissed in this very tower, since he first spotted James at King’s Cross in his first year.
Yeah, fuck he has definitely screwed up.
But James is turning him, thumb and index finger on Regulus’ chin so he has to look at him.
There are tears falling from James’ eyes. Regulus catches them with his thumbs without even thinking about it and James’ face breaks into a gentle smile.
“I love you too.” Is all he says, stroking Regulus’ cheek so gently. For a moment Regulus forgets about Sirius. His heart feels so full he might burst. He’s definitely crying too.
They bask in the moment for a while then turn back to Sirius who has at least now closed his mouth.
“Do you want to sit Pads?” James asks, his voice calm. Regulus notices he has stopped shaking.
Sirius looks at James then, his eyes showing all the emotions at once, and nods jerkily.
James walks over to him, slowly as if trying not to spook a stray animal, and takes his arm, leading him gently to their blanket and sitting him down.
Regulus settles opposite him, pulling his legs up to his chest. He’s finally told his boyfriend he loves him. One part of his is so happy, so ecstatic he can hardly sit still. The other is finally processing telling his older brother off and is too scared to move, or take up too much space, or breathe.
James, dear sweet James, sits beside him, crossing his legs and placing one hand on Regulus’ lower back. He’s tapping his other hand on his thigh. Never still.
Regulus takes a deep breath and waits.
Sirius takes a long while to figure out how to speak again.
“This is serious then?” Is the first thing he manages to say, pointing between Regulus and James.
“Very.” Regulus says.
He nods and all is silent again.
“This is going to take me time to get my head around. I can’t promise all is magically going to be absolutely fine. But I will admit I may have overreacted. A little.” Sirius admits, clearly unwillingly.
“A little?” Regulus can hear the smile in James’ voice.
“A tiny little. Sorry mate. I think we have a few things to talk about ourselves. You know, separate from your scary boyfriend.” Sirius says, rubbing the back of his neck and clearly struggling to look at James.
“It’s okay. Really. I didn’t mean to hurt you with this or keep it a secret. I was just worried.” James reassures. Always kind.
“Yeah clearly you were right to be. I want to hear all of it. Anything you are willing to tell me” Sirius pauses and looks at Regulus, meeting his eyes. “And for what it’s worth, I want to have a relationship with you too. I’m sorry Reggie. For a lot of things.”
Regulus knows there’s more for them to say to each-other. So much more. But not tonight.
“I am too. We’ll talk about all of it. But maybe not here.” Regulus suggests, looking at James.
James nods. James is always good at this stuff. He knows without Regulus having to tell him how important this space is to Regulus. He has from long before it was theirs. From when it was just Regulus’. And how important it is now that this space stays theirs. So he stands up wordlessly and offers Regulus his hand.
Regulus takes it, letting James pull him up effortlessly. He has to stop himself from going on a mental tangent about James’ muscles again.
“Common room?” Sirius asks, eyeing them carefully.
“Sure.” James says as he picks up the blanket and folds it.
Sirius nods and sets off first. James tucks the blanket under his arm and offers Regulus his hand again.
Regulus takes it and threads their fingers together.
-
“You’re pretty protective over him.” Sirius says, bumping his shoulders when they’re walking.
“Surprised me too.” Regulus admits, feeling his cheeks heat up
.
“I’m not. You’ve always been protective over people you love.” Sirius says, a soft look in his eye.
The two of them had that in common. It was the same thing that shielded him from beatings Sirius was given. The one that pushed him to stay to give Sirius time to run away. The protectiveness they now both seem to have in their relationships.
They follow Sirius to the Gryffindor common room. Regulus feels like he’s on cloud nine, walking all the way there holding James’ hand. This is the most public their relationship has been. And he’s loving every minute of how obvious it now is that James is his.
Stepping into the Gryffindor common room is strange. He’s expecting to be kicked out immediately. But the few students who turn and look at Regulus as they all enter seem to shrug and go back to what they’re doing.
The three of them make their way to the fireplace and Regulus spots Peter and Remus laying on the couches in front of it. Peter looks up from the homework he’s doing and smiles at them all, then goes straight back to his work. Remus looks up from where he’s sprawled out on the largest couch with a book, and raises his eyebrows.
“Ma lune.” Sirius greets Remus with a kiss and then flops down on top of Remus. Regulus has to stop himself from cringing at seeing his older brother and his boyfriend.
“My stars.” Remus says back to Sirius and kisses him on the forehead, then points his words to Regulus and James. “You finally told him then?”
Sirius looks at him surprised. “You knew?”
“Come on love. The whole of Hogwarts knows. The heart eyes they make at each-other aren’t exactly subtle. I think you’re the last person to find out.” Remus says gently, running his fingers through Sirius’ hair. Sirius is pretty sure he can hear Sirius purring. Peter is nodding over his homework, clearly reinforcing Remus’ words.
Sirius mumbles something under his breath but seems content now he is in Remus’ arms.
Regulus had kind of suspected most people knew. All of his friends certainly did and teased him endlessly every time he ‘snuck off’ to meet James.
James makes his way to the last remaining armchair, pulling Regulus with him. He seems to settle himself and then before Regulus knows it, he’s sitting in James’ lap with James’ warm arms wrapped around his waist.
He settles without consciously doing it until he’s basically tucked into James’ chest.
“That is going to take some getting used to.” Sirius says, eyeing them from where his head is resting on Remus’ chest.
“Quit pretending you’re not happy two people you love are happy.” Remus says, shushing him.
Sirius grumbles to himself but seems more focused on his boyfriend for the moment.
Idle chatter between Remus and James fills the silence but Regulus pays no attention to it. He’s warm, and comfortable in one of the last places he could expect.
He burrows his way further into James’ chest and feels the arms around him tighten and a kiss being placed on his head.
“I love you.” James whispers in his ear when the group has focused on their own activities. Remus reading to Sirius, Peter still invested in his homework.
“Je t’aime.” He says back just as quiet. James grins at the French and Regulus flushes. He doesn’t think he’s ever blushed so much in one night.
It has been a night of chaos. Of information revealed before the right time. A strange kind of temporary peace struck with his brother. The expectation of what will be many emotional conversations in the future to make it permanent.
And yet it is worth it. So worth it. He has never felt so loved and cherished. He has never felt so protective.
His world has never felt so full.