The RED Era - 3
PETER: James was in absolute shambles for weeks. I mean, it was awful. You have this boy who is the literal embodiment of the fucking sun, and he’s moping around the house like someone kicked him in the knees and took a sucker from him.
REGULUS: I felt bad, of course. I had been there before. But he wouldn’t get out of bed, and we only had a little over a month to prepare for Albus. Even Sirius couldn’t do it.
REMUS: At this point, we’re all living in some shabby little flat together, sharing rooms and everything. I was with Sirius, James with Pete, and Regulus got the smallest little room with a random sink in the corner. It was slightly poisonous, as we learned when we had to drive Regulus and Peter to the hospital after they drank out of it.
But that’s for another day. He needed to get up.
SIRIUS: I did what I had to do. He wasted almost all of our time, and we needed to impress Albus.
JAMES: He called our mother! He tattled on me.
SIRIUS: She dragged him out of his bed by the ear and said, “I know you’re upset because she is a lovely girl. But stop moping. Are you going to take the rest of them down with you? You have a job to do and I didn’t raise a fucking flake.”
JAMES: I got my ass out of bed immediately. Was I happy about it? No. But did I have a choice? No.
REGULUS: She said she’d stay until we had a new song and she’d use James’s bed. So he and I got straight to work.
It was funny and all, but he was obviously not doing well. So in a rare fit of kindness, I put my pen down and told him to write one about Lily. But not a happy one. An angry one. A sad one. I said I’d write a happy one.
JAMES: That appealed to me, so I wrapped myself in Lily’s sweater I still hadn’t returned and wrote “Come Back… Be Here”.
REGULUS: While he was sniffling in the corner—literally—I tried to think of everything happy ever. But seeing James a total mess, I didn’t want to write a love song. What if it broke him?
When I was in shambles over Barty, Pandora said something like, “Wishing he were a better man won’t make him one”.
And that’s what inspired “Better Man”, but I also remember being pissed that Sirius got to walk away from all this hurt with new people and I couldn’t. Obviously then, I wasn’t talking about Barty, but my family. I was lucky because I was a Black. I’d have everything I’d want.
“The Lucky One”.
He wasn’t even pissed that it wasn’t a happy song. That’s how good it is.
SIRIUS: Mum left after a day. That’s how long it took for them to write two songs. She stayed for dinner, made a killer banana cream pie, tucked us in, and went home.
Did I mention we lived down the block?
REMUS: The next morning, they presented us with the new songs, which we loved. What was so great about our process is that they gave us the words and the basic way it went, and the rest was up to us. We could do whatever we want. Sirius went insane on “Come Back… Be Here”.
JAMES: I was singing the chorus to “Come Back… Be Here” when Regulus asked me why I wasn’t singing for the band.
PETER: Once the words left Reg’s mouth, I wanted to hug him. We had all been saying for ages that James was a great singer that could easily carry us. But he always refused.
JAMES: Truth be told, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I’ve always liked to sing, but first, I was so focused on playing the guitar well. Then… When I was ready to sing, Lily had joined and I really wanted her to be a part of the band. Then Reg was in it, and… I don’t know. Like I was with writing, I wasn’t sure I was good enough.
There would also be the problem of who would sing what verse, what song. And I didn’t want to infringe on Regulus’s role.
REGULUS: He launches into this little monologue about how it’s my thing and he plays the guitar and writing is enough, and everyone knew it was bullshit.
SIRIUS: Reggie put him in his place real quick.
REGULUS: I told him we could figure out logistics for specific songs when necessary, but it was a complete waste to not use two good voices.
REMUS: It took a little bit of coaxing. I knew he didn’t want to be too eager. But I also knew how much he wanted it, and it’s such a James thing to let others be happy even if it means he’s not.
[laughs]
I guess you could see he’s a pathological people pleaser.
SIRIUS: It took a little rearranging, but the transition from one singer to two went pretty smoothly. We had almost everything ready.
PETER: We had our songs done except for “All Too Well”.
JAMES: I was scared because I thought it was damn near perfect. What if we messed it up by adding to it?
REGULUS: Of course, there was a simple solution. It blew their little minds, but the song was originally ten minutes long. I mean, Barty was a whole year of my life… and then some.
It’s embarrassing, but during my seventh year… I did go back. For a bit. Twice. He swore he’d changed, and I believed him.
First, he still didn’t tell anyone, and he’d just have me come over. I threatened to leave but he’d fill my head with all these promises and illusions of what we could be. I almost left five times, but I got frustrated in November and dipped.
The second time I went back, he lured me back saying I’d meet his mom. And I did. She was kind and funny—extremely unlike her son. Barty takes after his father. The last time I saw her, which was about March, she told me not to take anything he does too personally because in the end, he would always choose his legacy. She told me his father had.
I think about her a lot.
Anyway, I made them sit and played the ten minute version. The original.
JAMES: Peter cried.
PETER: Yeah, I fucking cried. Have you heard the damn song? I cried for a straight two years playing that. Sometimes, I still get emotional.
[face twists]
It’s just so damn sad.