Chapter 1
Part I - Narcissa
Narcissa was ten years old when she first refused dinner. It was nothing big. Druella had made a comment on how disgusting she was. She was a disgusting pig. She needs to lose weight.
"Cissy! Dinner time!" her older sister, Bellatrix, calls out.
"I'm not hungry. Eat without me."
"Mother and Father will be mad. Just come sit at the table, please."
Narcissa could hear the pleading in her sister's voice. She knows how scary her parents can be. She doesn't want to be punished, so she slowly walks down the stairs into the dining room. She takes a seat next to Andromeda.
Andromeda has always been warm, kind and welcoming. Narcissa doesn't know how she got into Slytherin, she belonged in Hufflepuff. She shakes her head and banishes the thoughts from her mind. If her father knew, what thoughts she was having, he would do gruesome things.
Narcissa stares at the plate of food in front of her. Her stomach is burning with hunger, she just wants to take a bite of the delicious looking steak and asparagus, but she knows she can't.
Hunger feels bad, but you know what feels good? Skinny. Being skinny feels the best.
She repeats this sentence in her mind, she has to truly believe it.
"Cissy!" Bellatrix's voice pulls her out of the endless loop of thoughts.
"Huh? Were you speaking with me?"
"Yes! Mother wants to know why you aren't eating. Narcissa, why aren't you eating?"
"I told you, I wasn't hungry, Bella" Narcissa replies annoyed.
"Okay, more for me then" Bellatrix laughs. Narcissa knows her sister well enough, to know that this was just a mask she wears in front of her parents. The moment they are alone, her sister will hold her in her arms and beg her to tell her what's wrong.
"No, Bellatrix. You can't eat this, you need to watch your figure. You don't want to be disgusting like Narcissa, do you?" Druella reprimands her daughter.
Narcissa feels the sharp pain in her chest. Her Heart beats faster and faster.
Calm down, Narcissa. Not in front of your parents. Not here.
After the long dinner and her parents discussing their wild political ideas, Narcissa finally gets time for herself.
She drags herself into her room. She feels the missing energy from skipping dinner.
Finally, she is able to get time for herself, and she feels all the thoughts rushing back in.
You're worthless. Your parents hate you. You're ugly. You're a disgusting pig. You need to lose weight.
The thoughts go on and on, and they do not stop. She feels her breath getting shallow. Breathing hurt more with every breath she takes. Her heart starts beating rapidly and all she can see is black. All her joints start hurting, like they were being crushed. She just wants this all to stop. A big lump starts forming in her throat from holding back the tears. She hears a knock at her door and Bellatrix's voice.
"Cissy, open the door!"
Narcissa heaves herself off the floor and opens the door to let her sister in. Her sister closes and locks the door. She sits on Narcissa's bed and gestures her to sit next to her. Narcissa sits down, still shaking from the panic attack, that had begun before her sister came.
"Cissy, what's wrong? Come on, you can talk to me. I'm your big sister, I'm always here for you."
"It's just everything. Mother says I'm a disgusting pig and I don't want to be that. I just want her to love me, why doesn't she love me, Bella? I skipped dinner today and I just want to be skinny, but being hungry hurts so much. I can't breathe, and my body feels weird. My chest hurts, I don't know what to do. Please help me, Bella, please save me."
"Oh my darling. You deserve so much better than this. Please, Please, Please don't starve yourself. It's not worth it. I swear to Merlin, that woman is so dead."
Narcissa hears the pain in Bellatrix's voice and immediately feels so guilty for hurting her dear sister like this. She doesn't want other people to hurt because of her. She leans on her sister's shoulder, and the tears she tried so hard to hold in start streaming down her face. Her sister pulls her into her arms and holds her until she lets all the pain out of her system.
"Do you want me to sleep in your room tonight? Do you need Andy to stay for a bit?" her sister asks.
"No, it's okay. I don't want to burden you. I'm sorry. I know you should be doing your school work. Please don't let me be an inconvenience" she answers, but she knows deep down, that she needs her sister to protect her tonight. Bellatrix senses this and decides on sleeping over that night.
Part II - Alice
"Mom! Dad! An owl!", eleven-year-old Alice Fortescue shouts from her family's kitchen. Today is her birthday and she just turned eleven, meaning she would get her hogwarts owl today. She waited for this day her whole life. She can't wait to go to Hogwarts and learn everything about magic, make new friends, and pursue her dreams.
Her dream is to become an auror one day. Fighting beside her lover and friends for the good. She wants to grow up to be just like her parents - brave, strong, loving and kind. Her parents are her heroes, the people that scare away the monsters from under her bed, the people that will protect her forever. She trusts those two with her life.
"Alice, is that the Hogwarts letter I see here?" her mother asks.
"Yes mom! I'm so excited! Can I open it, now that you and dad are here? Please please pleaseee" Alice begs.
"Okay sure, love."
Dear Ms. Fortescue,
We are pleased to inform you, that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
Mr. Fortescue returns the owl with a letter of conformation, that his daughter will attend Hogwarts, while Ms. Fortescue sneaks in the back of the kitchen to bring Alice her birthday presents. Alice gets a set of robes for Hogwarts, a cat and a set of wizard's chess, her favourite game. She thanks her parents and gives each one of them a kiss on the cheek.
"Alice, what do you think if Mommy takes you on a trip to Diagon Alley to get you a wand and the textbooks you need for school while Daddy does something for his job?"
"Yes yes yes Mom!! Thank you so much, Mom, I love you so much!"
Like that, the two girls set off to Diagon Alley. Ms. Fortescue meets Augusta Longbottom while shopping for Alice's textbooks.
"Oh, Augusta, my dear! How are you? Is this also Frank's first year?" she asks the short lady.
Frank Longbottom is a tall, slim, brunette boy. Alice has known him since forever because their mothers are best friends. They are the same age and grew up together. Sometimes, their mothers would meet up for tea and Frank and Alice would play pranks on their parents by hiding the biscuits or tea bags. Now, Frank is growing up. Alice expects to marry him one day. She is sure her mother would love that. She thinks about boys a lot, especially this boy. People talk about love so much, but what does love even feel like? Was it what she felt for Frank? It must be what she felt for Frank, what else could it be?
He's a boy, and she's a girl. They are meant to fall in love and marry.
"Come on, Alice, let's go", her mom's words pull her out of her thoughts. She realizes she was blushing by looking in the glass window while leaving. Embarrassed, she rubs her cheeks, trying to make the red colour go away.
Part III - Bellatrix
Bellatrix is so worried about her younger sister. She doesn't want her to see the horrors of the world. She is changing into her night gown to go sleep in Narcissa's room. She brushes her black curls out of her face, while looking at herself in the mirror.
You couldn't protect your sister. You are such a failure.
The thoughts don't stop no matter how much she tries to ignore them. She was truly a failure. Why does her baby sister have to go through all of this pain? She should be there to shield her from the pain. She was born to protect her younger siblings. Andromeda is such a loving person, but she is so reserved. She doesn't show the pain, disgust or horror. She just smiles and nods. Bellatrix wonders how she does that.
To be fair, Bellatrix was always the one to throw a temper tantrum, ever since she was young. When something didn't work out the way she wanted, she would scream and shout. She would pay for her actions, though. Cygnus and Druella were cruel to her.
Lacero! Levicorpus! Crucio!
She deserved the pain. She would take it all in, if that means her sisters will stay unharmed. She will fight through being levitated and humiliated, being tortured, beaten and cut. She will be strong for her sisters who can't, who will not have to be strong. She will take in all the nasty comments, if that meant, her sisters being favoured. She will always protect them.
She feels a tear slowly dripping down her face at the thought of the gruesome things her parents did to her. She quickly wipes it away and with that she wipes away the moment of weakness, that came over her. She cannot be weak in front of her siblings, they need her. Soon she will be back in Hogwarts with her beloved Rita. With her, she can let go.
With Rita, Bellatrix can let go of all the pain and the resposibilities. She can scream, cry, kick, and shout and Rita would be right there to calm her and hold her. With Rita, it's like being on an eternal vacation away from the insanity of the Noble House of Black. She loves Rita, like she has never loved anyone before. She wants to run away with her and live together on a stranded island, away from the cruelty of the wizarding world.
Of course, that's just a dream. She will never be able to go and marry her, what would her parents do to her if they found out, she was a homosexual. She will go marry one of her distant cousins and live happily ever after with him. The only thing she hopes, is that she will never have to join the dark side.
Yes, blood status is important, but hurting people for who they are? They don't deserve that, because she didn't deserve it either.
Bellatrix checks the time.
Shiiit it's already 10 pm. I told Cissy I'd be down by 9.30 pm. Why am I like this? Come on Bellatrix, get yourself together.
So she gathers her stuff, combs through her dark hair, rubs her face, and goes into Narcissa's room. She knocks, but she gets no answer. She knocks again, and no answer. She opens the door to find her sister already half asleep in her queen-sized bed.
"I'm sorry Cissy, I got caught up with something. I promise next time I'll be there on time."
"It's okay Bella. I fell asleep early anyways, thank you so much for coming."
"Anytime my dear"
Bellatrix takes her into her arms and they both fall into deep sleep.