Callie’s pitiful cries pierce through the calm quiet of the early morning, echoing off the walls of their small, cozy apartment.
It’s a fragile sound, filled with the kind of pureness and innocence only a newborn can muster, and Jackie yawns as her eyes adjust to the sun rays beaming through their green curtains. She was always a light sleeper anyway, only exacerbated as her ears are now trained to hear even the slightest sound radiating from the nursery.
Over on the left side of the bed, tangled in the fluffy comforter, Shauna rubs her eyes as she goes to get up to feed Callie, but her head is pushed tenderly back down onto the pillow as Jackie clambers out of bed, eager to go see their daughter.
“Shh, I got her. Go back to sleep.” The dirty blonde murmurs into Shauna’s hair as she leaves her with a soft kiss on the temple. Her heart ballooning in size as she hears soft snores emitted from their bed before she can even reach the doorway.
Callie’s almost 5 weeks old, and they’re by no means perfect at parenting- God, Jackie still cries just at the sight of her onesies sometimes when she does the laundry- but they’ve found themselves in a comfortable rhythm.
The weeks go by quicker than ever, mainly being measured now in terms of, ”Shit Shauna, look, oh my God, she’s holding her head up, what the fuck?” and “Jax, she’s actually smiling, shit, where the hell is my phone?”
Jackie’s maternity leave finished a week ago, meaning she had to go back teaching her fifth graders, (she cried then too, despite Shauna’s promises that she’ll call her if Callie so much as even blinks weirdly, or she feels even the slightest twinge of pain) and she’s longing for some extra time with the little one this lazy Sunday morning.
So carefully, she props the nursery door open and makes her way over to the crib, and is greeted with a very pouty looking Callie Shipman-Taylor. Her wide eyes glazed with tears and cheeks red with the effort of crying. Jackie’s heart sinks and she immediately leans forward to pull Callie into her arms.
Cradling her with as much love as she can put into her actions. Jackie sighs in contentment as her cries simmer down to small sniffles and whimpers.
“Hey, you’re okay Cals, c’mon, Mama’s got you.” She whispers against her fuzzy head, rubbing her thumb across the small of Callie’s back. Soothing her softly, until there’s just the perfect, long-awaited sound of heavy breathing and occasional coos.
Jackie wanders around the length of the room slowly, rocking the infant in her arms at a languid pace, relishing the warmth of her tiny body against her chest. She wonders for a second if Callie can hear the thrum of her heartbeat, and starts to hope that’s the case.
Maybe she didn’t grow her for nine months, but she has a Callie sized hole in her heart anyway. It only tears more and more as Callie grows, getting bigger and stronger everyday.
Jackie kisses the side of Callie’s cheek once more before she adjusts her in her arms, and walks out of the nursery to go to the lounge. Still bouncing her tenderly to allow Shauna to get her rest.
In a newly practiced dance whilst humming one of Nat’s original songs she had shown her a couple weeks back, Jackie manages to sort out a warm bottle for Callie and a simple breakfast which she places on the coffee table.
(She leaves Shauna’s under the grill to stay warm, knowing that postpartum Shauna has a new hatred for microwaved food.)
She eats with one hand and lays Callie in her lap, resting on her thighs so she can grasp the bottle with the other. Thankfully, Callie isn’t as much of an asshole as Shauna apparently was as a baby, (according to Deb) and she falls asleep, a dazed expression guarding her face. Her soft baby belly protrudes from all the milk, causing Jackie to giggle quietly.
Peacefully, Jackie takes the moment of calm, to think back on her life thus far.
It had all started with Shauna.
Ever since the day the brunette had bit a boy for her, (seriously, she drew blood and everything) they were a package-deal. All the way up until the middle of senior year, when Jeffrey Fucking Sadecki caused a rift between them.
Jackie was way too terrified to even indulge in the possibility of being a lesbian, and so deep in self-denial she had chosen to date him. Thinking it was normal for every girl to hate kissing their boyfriend, or find it a harrowing chore to call him after practice.
This denial had just pissed Shauna off. Why did Jeff get Jackie, and she didn’t? He wasn’t even a good guy. Like, he had legitimately asked Shauna how to spell his last name before.
Fucking idiot.
Resentment bubbled in Shauna’s gut at the sight of Jackie all because of that testosterone filled sack of marbles, and she couldn’t hold back the mean words from escaping. Leading to a huge fight that exploded between them at one of Lottie’s parties, which made way for a teary confession in one of her huge tiled bathrooms. Harsh words they didn’t mean, and whispers of love they knew would be denied by their peers.
Jackie, shouting with tear droplets streaming down her face, “I’m in love with you Shauna, okay? Not fucking Jeff. You!”
Shauna, murmuring breathlessly, after having pulled Jackie in for an earth-shattering kiss,“I’m in love with you too, Jax.”
Jackie wipes away a tear she didn’t even feel fall, as she glances at the sleeping baby in her lap. Fuck, her and Shauna had gone through it, but they really had everything they ever could’ve asked for.
//
Once Jackie stops crying and decides she’s bored of the silence that comes without her wife being by her side, she dials the number of her third favourite person in the world. (Just don’t tell Nat that, she refuses to be less than top three.)
Deb answers the face-time with a little groan as she struggles to flip the camera, despite Jackie having explained how to do it a million times when they visit, and a loving, “Jackie? Can you hear me?”
“Yeah, I can hear you Deb, just uh, click the round button. It’ll make me be able to see you, not the carpet, though it is way nicer than the old one, Shauna was right.” Jackie directs the white haired woman as she stifles a laugh.
Deb finally manages -though not without a few more giggles and instructions from her daughter in law- to get in frame, and grins warmly as she sees Jackie and Callie.
Her heart just about exploding with adoration.
“Oh, she’s just getting so big isn’t she?”
“That’s what I’m saying, but your daughter refuses to admit it.”
“Shauna’s always been stubborn, no reasoning with her.” Deb chastises with an eye roll, laughing heartily as she coos at the still unconscious Callie, who seems to somehow feel her grandma’s presence even in her sleepy state and smiles. “Aww, look at her little face.” She sidetracks before shaking herself out of it and changing the topic back to her daughter. “She’s getting enough sleep yeah? Cause she should know that the second you tell me she’s pushing herself too hard, I’ll be outside your door.”
Jackie nods warmly, gratitude rising for Shauna’s Mom as she thinks of her parents, the way they’d never do that for her. They haven’t even left a voicemail since Jackie sent a letter informing them of Callie’s birth. She knew it was a lost cause but, is it wrong that she still had hope?
(Shauna told her that it wasn’t wrong of her to want that, and once they had gotten Callie down to sleep, held her tight in her arms as she sobbed, running gentle fingers through her blonde locks and scratching her scalp with reassuring praises. Jackie hasn’t cried over Marilyn and Dean Taylor since.)
“Trust me I will, me and Cals here need her at her best.” Jackie hums as her thumb runs over the ridges of Callie’s spine. Just admiring what she and Shauna have created.
Jackie and Deb talk mindlessly for the next hour, exchanging pictures of Callie and older ones of Shauna at a similar age, noting their similarities. Jackie’s heart starts to do backflips as she realises that Callie has a tiny freckle under her ear, just like Shauna, and she’s so grateful for the life she’s been allowed to live.
After a few goodbyes, wishes of love with Deb, and promises to bring Callie down again soon, Jackie moves Callie to rest on her chest, bracing her back with one hand as she washes her plate. A few seconds later, instinctively, her body melts back into familiar hands that wrap around her waist.
A flower planted in just the right soil.
She lets her head lull back onto Shauna’s shoulder and moans softly. “Morning, sleepyhead.” She teases as she lets the plate sink beneath the bubbly water, and dries her hand quickly before bringing it to cradle the back of Callie’s head.
“You didn’t have to let me sleep in, y’know Jax? I could’ve gotten her.” Shauna murmurs, voice raspy and soaked with love, setting the hairs on the back of Jackie’s neck to stand up.
“Shut up, we had a great time. Besides, you need the rest and I’ve missed my little Cal-bug ever since I went back to work.” She dismisses. “And, we got to face-time Grandma, who made me promise to not let you overwork yourself too soon.”
“You’re teaming up on me now? Low blow.” Shauna grumbles but with a warm smile as she lets go of Jackie’s hips to reach for Callie, crooning lightly as the infant curls up in her warm arms.
“You’ll get over it.” Jackie rolls her eyes fondly as she takes in the sight of Shauna holding Callie.
Holding a baby.
Their baby.
It still manages to give her butterflies, despite the fact that she’s seen it every day for 5 weeks straight.
God, if high school Jackie could see herself now, she’d probably have a freaking heart-attack.
The girl who thought she’d end up being a house wife for Jeff, now living a perfect domestic life with her best friend, Shauna Marie Shipman.
She leans forward to spontaneously press a gentle but emotional kiss to Shauna’s inviting lips. Grinning at her quirked eyebrow.
“What was that for?”
“I just love you.” Jackie shrugs.
It’s the truth.
It’s always been the truth.
And it’s confirmed again when Shauna shyly smiles, her cheeks reddening a little at the phrase, even after 14 years of friendship, 2 years together, 3 years married.
“I just love you too, Jax.”
Callie clearly has some sort of superpower for reading situations and she coos a little, like she wants her moms’ attention, feeling ignored. She quiets down once they laugh softly and Jackie’s hand, the one with her wedding band, laces with Shauna’s, rings clacking together, resting against the front of Callie’s onesie.
“And obviously, we love you Cals.” Jackie adds with a soft giggle, her face physically hurting from smiling and she wouldn’t have it any other way.