You Are My Sunshine
15th June 1971
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey, you’ll never know just how much I love you, please don’t take my sunshine away,” Hope sang in a whisper, stroking her son’s hair.
“Mam, I don't want to do this anymore,” A young Remus whispered. “I can’t do it anymore.
“I know my sweet boy,” Hope wiped away his tears.
Lyall walked into his son’s bedroom.
“It’s time, Hope.” was all he said.
“Mam, please,” Remus begged, the tears streamed down his face.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, my sweet boy,” Hope, kissed his forehead. “I wish I could change everything,”
It broke her heart every month, every month she would hear her son's cries behind the locked door, she would hear him beating against the chains, she would sing over the cries, hoping that he could hear her but when she asked him in the morning he always said he didn’t.
☾
16th June 1971
Remus picked at his food with the arm his mother had bandaged up. He refused to look at himself in the mirror.
He hated his reflection.
“Remus, please eat,” Hope asked, as she sat beside him, she had his favourite book in her lap which she intended to read to him.
“I’m not hungry.” he said, placing his fork down, he looked up at his mother. “Where’s dad?”
“Work, he picked up an extra shift at the ministry,”
Remus rolled his eyes, his father was never home.
“I borrowed Charlie and the Chocolate factory again from the library,” Hope said, holding up the book.
“Wouldn’t it be best we buy it seeing as we read it all the time,”
“Nah,” Hope shook her head. “I like seeing Ivory’s face every month when I pick it up, also Shellie took it home with her last week, she’s added in a few comments on how Charlie Bucket should live in a bucket to make it more fun.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Remus furrowed her brows.
“Mmm, that’s what I thought, anyway, shall I read?”
Remus made himself more comfortable, but of course that wasn’t easy.
“‘Welcome to the tale of a delicious adventure in a wonderful land. You can tell it will be delicious– can’t you smell it already?’” Hope sniffed the air dramatically making Remus laugh. “‘Oh how I love that smell!’”
No matter how interactive Hope’s story telling was Remus always managed to fall asleep before Charlie found the Golden ticket, when he woke up again he heard an unfamiliar voice coming from the living room.
He winced as he reached over for his dressing gown, and slowly creaked open his door.
“What does this mean? Remus will be able to attend Hogwarts?” His father asked, it hadn’t sounded so happy in years.
An elderly voice spoke next. “Well of course I would need to speak to the child but with the Willow already planted I don’t see why not,”
“Is he awake, Hope?”
“I’m not sure,” his mother said, her voice soft and tender. “Let me go check,”
She walked out of the living room, catching his eyes.
“What’s going on?”
Hope gave him a giant smile, it had been a long time since he had seen it. “Something really amazing,”
☀
19th May 1978
Solana waited by the one eyed witch statue, Marlene didn’t have a jacket for her to borrow– well she did but Solana was told that it would ruin the outfit and her cloak would not let her blend in with the muggles so she was coatless as a breeze went past her. She rubbed her arms staring out of the stained window, her stomach had been churning all afternoon ever since her talk with Marlene, maybe she shouldn’t go, she wouldn’t fit in anyway, she turned to leave before she heard his voice.
“Lana?”
The churning stopped, and she instantly calmed, how was he able to do that? Remus stood in front of her, he wore a signature Remus Lupin jumper, a white collar sticking out of it, and his hair had been styled more casual. He smiled at her. “You look–”
“Like a muggle?” She prompted.
Remus nodded, “Yeah, you look like a muggle.”
“It’s not too much is it?” she asked, straightening out the skirt of the dress.
“No, It’s perfect,” Remus told her, he cleared his throat. “Shall we go? We’re either late or early, who knows until we get there.”
Solana nodded, following him through the tunnel and towards an umbrella disguised as a portkey.
Remus lived in a quaint little village in the south of Wales, most of the houses were made out of cobblestones, each had a front garden with magnificent flowers.
“These houses are really pretty,” Solana said.
Remus agreed with her, pointing down near a river bank. “You see the one where the chimney is slanted? Right at the bottom of the hill?”
Solana spotted it and nodded.
“That’s my house,”
From what she could see it was a small little cottage, Solana could see him living in it. It wasn’t far-fetched.
“It’s also pretty.”
Remus smiled to himself.
They walked towards a cobbled pub, the sign above read ‘The Sun and The Moon’
“Okay, so this is the local village pub, just like any little small village pubs there has been many a pub fights, many a pub crawls– despite the next pub being about seven miles away, it is literally a crawl by the time you get here, there has been many terrible karaoke nights and last Christmas to the village drunk– Steve managed to smash his way through three tables.”
“How on Earth?”
“I wish I could tell you,” Remus shrugged as he opened the door for her, it smelt like alcohol but not near as bad as the other pub Remus was forced to stay in for hours on end.
The ceiling was decked out with fairy lights along the beams, different types of sun and moon decorations on the walls. She noticed a group picture hung up behind the bar, Remus was there, but he was younger, smiling next to a girl with dark red hair the same age as him.
“Remus John Lupin!” a girl– the same girl but all grown up ran up and hugged him. “Your ma said you weren’t going to make it!”
“Yeah, I wasn’t sure if I was going to get the time off school,” Remus said, hugging her back.
The jealousy was back, Solana tried her best to shove it away, there was no way she could be jealous about someone hugging Remus.
“Oh, Shells, this is Solana, she goes to my school.”
“That posh totty school?” the girl asked, looking at her with a turned up look then it faded into a smile as she grabbed Solana into a hug too, Solana wasn’t expecting it so she almost toppled over when she did so.
“Sorry, Remy should have warned you I’m a hugger.”
“Remy?” Solana teased, hiding a smile behind her eyes.
Remus rolled his eyes. “She couldn’t say my name when we were four, and she still hasn't learnt it.” The girl cleared her throat, “Are you going to introduce me or do I have to do everything around here?”
“Solana this is Shellie,”
Solana looked at Remus, “Shellie?”
“I heard Remus needed my help a few weeks ago,” Shellie said, she lowered her voice. “Are you doing okay?”
Solana felt her face go warm but she nodded. “Fine, thank you.”
“Any time,” Shellie smiled. “Anyway Remus, would you be so kind and grab the barrel out of the basement? We need a big strong lad and Steve won’t help,” she pointed at the drunken man sitting at the bar.
“Sure thing,” Remus nodded. “What time does the party start?”
“Half an hour ago but you know this village is going to be late,” Shellie told him, “But good news the band is local so at least we’ll have music. Right chop chop, that barrel won’t bring itself up here.”
Solana followed Remus down to the basement, “Do you need help with that?” she asked but Remus shook his head, taking his wand out of his pocket silently casting a weightless spell.
“Look, it's as light as a feather, because there is no way I would be able to carry one of those up the stairs,” Remus shook his head.
They were only gone for minutes, maybe not even five but by the time they went back upstairs the pub was packed with people, the live band was setting up by the stage.
“How did it fill up so quickly?” Solana asked.
“Welcome to my hometown, where no one is ever on time but they will all show up at the same time.” Remus said, “I’ll go get some drinks quick,”
Solana waited in the back by the booth seats, watching as Remus spoke to almost everyone waiting for drinks.
“Here you are! Remus is gonna take too long,” Shellie said, passing Solana a shot then a wedge of lemon. “Lick your hand and hold it out,”
Solana did as she was told as Shellie poured some salt on her hand.
“Right, it’s lick the salt, take the shot, then bite the lemon, okay?”
“Huh?” Solana asked, her brows furrowed.
“You’ve got it, one, two, three!” Shellie shouted, they both took the shot, and Solana grimaced at the taste, it was nothing like fire whiskey.
“You just took your first tequila shot! How’d you feel?”
Solana wiped her mouth, “You got another one?”
Shellie grinned as she held out the salt shaker, “Oh we are going to be great friends!”
Remus squinted his eyes as he walked back up to Solana and Shellie with a tray full of drinks. “Are you taking tequila shots without me?”
“You were taking too long.”
“I was less than five minutes, I managed to sneak behind the bar– where is Fiona?”
“My Ma is out getting last minute balloons– Oh there she is,” Shellie said, pointing at a short woman with the same red hair as her.
“Shells come and get your balloons you demanded,” she called over the loud crowd.
“Last minute balloons that I demanded.” Shellie gave them a winning grin. “Coming ma,”
“So, that’s Shellie,” Remus said as the two watched her run up to the balloons.
“She’s really nice,” Solana told him then looked at the drinks he brought over. “What are these?”
He handed her a shot glass, “So this is the muggle equivalent of fire whiskey, but it's not as good, and then because Gina caught me behind the bar I was only able to snag a few ciders.”
Solana took the shot, grimacing as it burnt her throat. “Ew,”
Remus laughed, “You want another one?”
“Go on then,” She nodded as he poured another shot.
☀
Solana couldn’t remember the last time she had so much fun, where she had gone to a party and not had to worry about her appearance or if she was dancing correctly, in fact no one was dancing correctly, as the band played, one of them was in French and she was sure that no one in crowd knew that they were asking to sleep with each other… tonight.
“I’m gonna get some more drinks, stay with Shell,” Remus shouted over the crowd, Solana nodded as Shellie took her hand and started dancing with her.
They laughed as they danced accidentally bumping into a woman who looked to be elderly but danced as if she was twenty.
“Oh, Shellie! Happy birthday, darling!” She kissed her cheek.
“Thank you Ivory, how are you enjoying the party?” Shellie shouted over the singing.
“Best party as always, did you see Remus?” she wiggled her brows.
Shellie laughed and rolled her eyes., “Yes, Ivory,”
“Handsome boy, he is, when are you two going to get together, Shell?” Ivory said, tilting her head.
Solana felt the jealousy creeping up against her but she was too drunk to show it, thankfully.
“He needs to ask me out,” Shellie said, laughing again, “Keep dancing, Solana and I are gonna go over there,”
Shellie took Solana’s arm and they walked by the edge, she blew out a sigh of relief.
“So you and Remus?” Solana asked, clearly she wasn’t masking the jealousy easily.
Shellie cackled. “Oh god no, love him, I really do, but he is definitely not my type,” she nodded over to the drummer in the band, “She’s more my type,”
The drummer caught eyes with Shellie and winked at her.
“The only problem is that this town doesn’t go lightly on same sex couples, so they all think I’ll end up with Remus.” Shellie told her, “It sucks hiding my true self but it keeps me and Bethan safe,”
Solana nodded, thinking of Dorcas and Marlene.
“Anyway, the question should really be you and Remus?” Shellie turned up her brow.
“What?” Solana scoffed.
“Oh please,” Shellie grinned, “You almost pounced on me when Ivory even suggested the two of us together,”
Solana shook her head. “He’s my friend,”
“Friend,” Shellie winked. “The fact he brought you here means he’s quite fond of you, I’ve never met another one of his posh school friends,”
Solana looked over at Remus who was grabbing the drinks from the bar.
“It takes a lot for Remus to trust someone. A lot. So that must mean that he trusts you a hell of a lot.” Shellie told her, “Oh, but to let you know if you two ever get together and you break his heart I will have to side with him, he’s my ride and die.”
“Shellie! Your nan is looking for you,” Shellie’s mum said, walking up to the two girls.
Shellie winced. “Nice nan or horrible nan?”
“I’ve told you to stop calling her that,” her mum sighed, but nodded. “It is horrible nan,”
“Ugh, did you have to invite her?”
“She lives in the village Shells, everyone in the village knows about the party,”
Shellie rolled her eyes, turning to Solana, “Right, if I’m not back in five minutes call an ambulance… for her not me,”
“Sure,” Solana nodded as if she knew how to call an ambulance– or what that even was.
Shellie left with her mother close behind her, Solana smiled as Remus walked up to her handing her a bottle of cider.
“So, I managed to speak to the band to play a request,” Remus told her loudly.
“What did you request?”
“Here comes the sun,
Doo-doo-doo-doo
Here comes the sun,
Doo-doo-doo-doo,”
Solana’s eyes widened as she gasped, “The song! How?”
“Well they’re quite a talented band and they know almost all of the Beatles. Seeing as they are extremely popular it’s hard not to know them.” Remus shrugged.
“Dance with me?” Solana asked him.
She saw his cheeks tinged but she didn’t say anything, she didn’t want to ruin the moment so she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the crowd.
She loved how free she felt, how she could do nothing wrong in this moment, she laughed as he spun her around, not caring who she bumped into because she was sure they didn’t care either.
Remus’ head perked up as waved, Solana turned to look in the same direction.
“Come with me,” he said, lightly pulling her arm, she followed him as they walked towards the bar. “You can meet my mum,”
Solana paused, “Your mum?”
“You better be nice, cause she’s a muggle,”
“I can’t meet your mum,” Solana gripped his arm.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m drunk, I am in no state to meet your mother!”
“Would you prefer for me to plan a five course meal and you two could wine and dine.”
Solana nodded. “That would be preferable–”
Remus stifled a laugh, “You’ll be fine, come on,”
Solana’s stomach churned as they got closer, she saw a woman pouring a pint, her hair was the same warm brown hair as Remus but her eyes were a light blue, she smiled brightly as she saw her son walking towards her.
“Oh Remus!” she walked from the side of the bar, pulling him into a tight hug. “Shellie said she wasn’t sure if you were coming, they let you off school?”
“Nah, we snuck out,” he said, gesturing towards Solana. “This is Solana, Solana this is my ma, Hope.”
Hope smiled at Solana, “Oh it’s so nice to meet a new face,”
“Hope, another beer please,”
“In a minute Steve,” she rolled her eyes, patting her son on his arm. “It’s so nice to see you, but I better get back.”
Remus kissed his mother’s cheek, “It’s good to see you too, mam,”
She smiled at Solana once more, “Come again soon, hopefully I won’t be too rushed off my feet next time,”
Solana nodded, “I will do Mrs Lupin–”
“Hope,”
“Sorry,” Solana apologised. “Hope,”
“Hope, love, a beer–”
“I haven’t seen my son since Christmas, Steve, let me chat–”
“I’ll just pour my own beer–”
“Touch that and you’re dead–” Hope pointed sternly walking back behind the bar.
Remus looked over at Solana, “Fancy a smoke?” he asked.
“Yup,” Solana nodded, following Remus into the beer garden, there were only two people out there but they didn’t stay long.
Remus pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his right pocket then the orange lighter he always had from his left, he handed one to her and lit the end.
“Thanks,” she said as she inhaled the nicotine, she sat up on the wall next to him. “Thanks for inviting me tonight as well,”
Remus shrugged. “It was nothing,”
A breeze ran past them making Solana shiver.
“You really need to invest in a coat, Lana,” Remus shook his head as he pulled off his jumper and handed it to her.
“But then who would you give all your jumpers and jackets to?” Solana raised her brows as she put the jumper on top of her dress, warming up almost instantly, the smell of him closer to her.
“That’s a very good point,” he tapped the ashes from his cigarette.
The music began to slow down into a soft lullaby.
“You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine,
You make happy when skies are grey,”
“Do you know how to ballroom dance?” Solana asked.
Remus gave her a look. “Of course, we have many balls in the village hall.”
“Are you messing with me?”
He smiled coyly, whilst taking a drag. “Maybe.”
“Have you ever ballroom danced?” Solana already knew the answer but she still wanted to ask.
“If I say yes you won’t believe me, will you?”
She shook her head. “Of course not,”
“I mean it’s true, I’ve never ballroom danced.” Remus said.
Solana jumped off the wall, offering out her hand. “Traditionally the gentleman usually asks the lady to dance but in this case we will let it slide,”
Remus smirked at her. “Aren’t you supposed to ask formally?”
She raised a brow, hiding her own smirk. “Mr Lupin, would you care for a dance?”
“Seeing as you are asking very politely, Miss Black.” he stood up from the wall and took her hand, which moulded perfectly in hers.
She took his other hand and placed it on her hip to which he moved automatically upwards, she looked up at him, a smile tugging on her lips as she put his hand back down on her hip.
“You’re supposed to leave your hand there,” she said, quietly.
He didn’t move it again.
“Okay, so two steps back, two steps forwards,” she told him, he did as she said, she hid a wince as he tread on her toes as he stepped forwards.
“Fuck, sorry,” he cringed.
“It’s fine, you’re doing good.” Solana nodded, usually she would be annoyed at someone stepping on her toes but with Remus she couldn’t care less.
“Shit, I keep stepping on your toes,” he groaned.
“It’s fine, I’ve got ten of them.” she smiled at him.
“And I keep stepping on all of them,”
She stopped, lightly stepping on his foot. “There we’re even.”
“That wasn’t near enough the amount of times I’ve done it to you,” Remus said.
“Stop worrying, Remus, you could never hurt me,” she said, he paused looking at her, his warm caramel eyes stared into her forest green, their heartbeats slowed down as they heard nothing but their breathing, her chest rested against his.
He leaned in first but before their lips could touch there was a loud slam, the two pulled apart in a haste looking at the person who had made the noise.
He was a middle aged man with greying brown hair and caramel eyes, just like Remus had.
“Dad?” Remus asked, walking towards him.
“What chu’ want?” he slurred as he drank from a clear glass bottle.
“How much have you had?” Remus tried to pull the glass away from him but his father pulled his arm away quickly, losing his grip and smashing the glass all over the ground.
“You fucking idiot!”
“Let me take you home,” Remus said, putting his father’s arm over his shoulder, looking back at Solana. “Sorry, stay here I’ll be back soon,”
She shook her head. “I’ll come with you,”
“Should have fucking left you both,” His father kept mumbling under his breath as they walked down the hill.
Remus didn’t say anything, but Solana could see his jaw was tense, she remembered the night of Sirius's birthday when she saw the picture of Remus and his parents, his father had been positioned away from his son and wife.
“We’re almost there,” Remus said, rummaging through his pockets to find his keys, his hands shaking as he tried to put it through the keyhole, Solana took over, opening it in seconds.
Remus muttered a thank you as he walked towards the living room, placing his father on the sofa.
“Do you want a drink?” Remus asked Solana.
“Water would be fine,” she nodded, she followed him into the kitchen watching as he grabbed a glass and ran it under the tap.
His father stumbled into the kitchen opening one of the kitchen cupboards, which was full of alcohol.
“Dad, no,” Remus said, trying to grab the bottle but his father was quicker than him.
“Ffffffuck off,” he mumbled, brushing his son off him. “Filthy werewolf.”
Solana watched Remus deflate, his father left the kitchen leaving the two in silence, he tried to hide his face but she saw him wipe it before reaching into the cabinet his father just opened, taking a bottle, he opened the lid and chucked it on the side, taking a drink then offered it to Solana.
She shook her head and he shrugged, she walked towards him, taking his hand and squeezing it. “You're amazing, you know that.”
He didn’t say anything, but he did take another drink.
“You’re smart, and nice, and wonderful.” she told him.
“You don’t have to lie–”
“I would never lie to you,” she said, shaking her head. “I would be still stuck in my family's way if it wasn’t for you,”
Remus looked at her, “He’s drunk, he’ll be fine in the morning. Might even send an apology if he remembers.”
Solana smiled sadly, even she knew Remus wouldn’t be getting an apology at all.
Remus looked at the clock, “We should get back to school,”
Solana nodded, Remus had a portkey in the garden which took them to Hogsmeade, they walked through the passageway, and he saw her in her common room.
“I had a really nice time,” She told him.
“I’m glad you did,” he said, looking down at the floor.
“Oh,” she said, taking off the jumper and handing it back to him. “I know this is one of your favourites, I won’t keep it.”
He breathed a laugh. “Thanks,” he said, folding it and keeping it on his arm.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked.
“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” he nodded.
She smiled goodbye before walking into her common room, she headed towards the girls dorm but before she made it there a cold voice made a chill run down her spine. “Where have you been?”