Narcissa
The Noble House of Black
invites you to a ceremonious event
The Engagement of Regulus Arcturus Black
and Evelyn Vanessia Greengrass
6th May 1978
6th May 1978
12 Grimmauld Place
Madam Pomfrey confirmed a week after the abortion that she was no longer pregnant and Remus had made sure that none of it would go onto her medical records. She felt a huge relief knowing that Antonin would never find out, but that was after she had been told many times by Remus that he would never find out.
Every so often she would touch her stomach, standing sideways in front of the mirror, but when she pictured what her life would be like with Antonin the feelings of sadness dissolved.
She knew she had made the right decision.
“Mi amor, you should be getting ready.” Druella Black walked into the guest room that Solana and Antonin were sharing, “I’ve brought your dress, it’s simply beautiful.”
Solana looked at the blue silk dress, it reminded her of Andromeda’s dress, the one she was wearing the night Antonin assaulted her.
“I can’t wear that,” she said, quickly.
“What do you mean?” her mother asked, her tone shocked. “It’s a stunning dress,”
“I don’t like it,”
Druella shook her head, “Solana, you are expected to wear this, so you will wear it.”
Solana’s throat tightened, as she took the dress from her mother and changed quickly behind the room divider. She stepped out, the dress clung to her like a second skin.
“You look beautiful, Mi amor,”
She looked at herself in the mirror, her stomach sunk even lower. In the reflection she saw her mother wince as she traced her fingers around a bruise on her back.
“Let me get rid of this for you,” Druella said, reaching for her wand.
“Did you know?” Solana asked.
“Pardon, Mi am–”
“Did you know the Dolohov’s bought me?” she swallowed, the words almost didn’t come out.
Druella tilted her head down, she didn’t give an answer but that’s all Solana needed, she quickly wiped away the tears from her face, hoping that it didn’t ruin her eye make up.
“Mi amor–”
“I have to go downstairs,” she said, holding her head up high, walking towards the door.
“Solana–”
She shook her head. “Don’t mother, please.”
Druella backed down, letting her leave.
Solana took a deep breath before heading towards the staircase. From outside the ballroom she heard the sounds of chattering and glasses clinking. She really did not want to make conversation with anyone but of course, like usual, she did not have a choice.
She smiled as she entered, saying hello to everyone who looked at her, she caught eyes with Antonin who was standing in between Amycus and Alecto, Amycus clearly had no idea about the two because for the first year of Alecto and Barty’s relationship he refused to speak to even mutter a word to him, unless Antonin was able to charm him as well.
Antonin beckoned her over but an arm grabbed her.
“Lana, you need to help me,” Regulus said, pulling her behind a curtain.
“Well if it isn’t the man of the night–”
“I can’t marry Evelyn,” he said, rushed.
“What?” Solana furrowed her brows. “But you like her now, what happened?”
“It’s not her, it’s me, I’m not ready for this, Lana,”
“You’re not getting married yet,” she told him.
“Ever, I don’t think I ever want to get married,”
“You’ve spent too much time with Sirius,”
Regulus gave her a confused look. “How did you know?”
“Because I know exactly what he is like,” Solana shook her head. “You are young and you’re scared, I was just like you when I had my engagement party, in fact I think I may have been drunk at mine to get through with it.”
“And you’re okay now?” Regulus asked. “You’re okay with getting married.”
“Yes,” Solana lied. “I can’t wait,”
Regulus breathed in deeply.
“You’re going to be fine, Reg.” Solana said, nodding her head.
Regulus nodded with her. “Don’t tell my mother I was speaking with Sirius.”
“Of course not,”
“Thank you,”
“Now off you go, you have an engagement to attend,” she said, pushing him onto the dancefloor, she watched as he found Evelyn, and kissed her hand before asking her for a dance.
She remembered when Antonin asked her for their first dance, he wasn’t as good as her, in fact he kept stepping on her toes, which annoyed her but she never let it show.
She saw him on the other side of the dancefloor, Alecto still beside him. She wondered if anyone had noticed, surely that would be a scandal, or maybe they didn’t care much. Of course the fourth daughter of Cygnus Black would get cheated on, they probably already knew.
Making sure that no eyes were on her she slipped out of the ballroom, narrowly passing Kreacher who would no doubt tell her the ball was not in the hallway but the ballroom as if she didn’t know.
She went up the stairs, passing the guest room and up to the top of the flight.
Sirius Orion Black
She opened the door, of course his room was decked out with Gryffindor stuff. She entered, his room hadn’t been touched since the night he ran away.
Solana remembered the morning after, her father was in a foul mood, her mother tried to be happy, it had been two years since Andromeda had run away, and she knew that the family would be under scrutiny for the next couple months.
Solana walked over to the window, there was a radio, just like the one Remus had, she searched through the cassettes, finding the one she wanted almost instantly. She pressed the button to open the holder just as she had watched Remus do several times, and slotted the cassette into it, pressing the button with the sideways triangle.
Here comes the sun,
Doo-doo-doo-doo,
Here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
She sat down at Sirius’ desk, going through the drawers, stopping as she found a group photo of him and his friends, her eyes went straight to Remus, he was laughing at a joke that Potter was telling them all, it must have been near a full moon, he looked tired, more tired than usual, she saw the walking stick he was so slick to hide behind his robes, the placement of his hand on his side.
The scars so faint on his face, a little spark ignited in her, butterflies filled her stomach before she realised it she ripped the picture just leaving Remus’ laughing figure. She placed it into her pocket before she heard sobbing from the halls, familiar sobbing.
“Cissy?” Solana called out, making sure to turn the radio off before she left, she knocked on the door to the bathroom. “Narcissa?”
“Go away!” she shouted back, continuing to cry.
“Cissy,” Solana tried once again, trying the door handle, she took her wand out from her pocket muttering the unlocking charm.
“I SAID GO AWAY!” Narcissa screamed, tears smeared across her face.
Solana stood in shock, thick red blood was all over the floor, the walls, the bath, Narcissa’s hands and dress; the lower part of her dress.
“Go away,” she sobbed.
Solana closed the door behind her, making sure to lock it, she walked towards the bathtub, running the hot water, she unzipped Narcissa’s dress as she sobbed, then helped her into the the bath, once she was clean of any blood Solana began brushing her hair.
“It’s our third,” Narcissa whispered, “I thought it would have been okay, I went to the hospital yesterday, they told me the baby was fine. I hadn’t told Lucius yet.”
Guilt was all Solana felt.
Narcissa had tried three times and yet Solana gave up her baby in a heartbeat, she shook the thought away.
“What if I can’t have children Solana?” Narcissa sniffed.
“You will,” Solana nodded, stroking her sister's hair. “It’s just not time yet.”
Narcissa hugged her knees, “I’ve wanted to be a mother for a long time, Lana, I’m ready
now.”
Solana didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know how to make her feel better.
Narcissa wiped away her tears, getting up and wrapping a towel around her. “Don’t tell mother, please. She doesn’t know about the other ones.”
Solana nodded, staring at her hands as Narcissa cleaned up her dress then got back into it, using magic to redo her hair and makeup.
“How do I look?” she asked.
“Like nothing happened.” Solana replied, it was true.
Narcissa nodded, “Good.” she looked over at her younger sister, Solana was looking down at her lap.
“I don’t love Antonin,”
“I know,” Narcissa whispered, cupping her cheek. “I’ve known since the dinner, You’ve lost your light,” she leant down and kissed the top of her head. “You’ll find it again, I know you will.” She took a deep breath before opening the door and walking out.
Solana closed her eyes, refusing to let the tears fall, she too took a deep breath before walking out of the bathroom, entering the ballroom once again, watching the attendees dance, Narcissa had already made her way onto the dancefloor with Lucius, it was truly as if nothing had happened.
This was her life now.
Pretending that she was happy. So when Antonin asked her to dance she smiled and took his hand. She smiled as if he wasn’t hurting her. She smiled as if she didn't just abort his baby. She smiled as if she was actually happy.
Because that's how she was going to survive.
And she was determined to survive.