Toujours Pur
3rd January 1978
Black Manor
The corset felt like a second skin as Druella pulled it off Solana’s body, she winced as her mother grazed the bruises all over her stomach.
“Does it hurt?”
“Yes.” Solana said, bluntly.
“I’m sorry, mi amor–”
She shook her head, refusing to cry. “You could have stopped him.”
“There was no getting through to your father.” Druella said.
“You didn’t even try–” her voice broke.
“I tried, Solana. I tried every day this week, begging him to let you out, but he wasn’t– he wasn’t listening to me,” her mothers voice was soft and tender.
“I never spoke to Andromeda, mother. As soon as I found out the child was hers I– I left.”
“I know.” her mother nodded, stroking her hair. “I know.”
“I need to get ready,” Solana said, pausing to look at her bruised wrists, “The train will be leaving soon,” she held her head high until she closed the door of her bedroom, allowing herself to cry.
With her body in pain she forced herself into the shower, careful not to put too much pressure on her bruises. She winced as she raised her arms to put on her shirt, winced as she put her skirt on and winced as she bent down to put her socks and shoes on. She had to leave her shirt untucked, otherwise it would have clung to skin reminding her of the corset. Her mother had left her a robe on her chair to put over her to cover her arms.
She looked at herself in the mirror, her cheeks looked hollow, her skin sunken, and tired, she let out a sigh knowing that staring at herself was not going to make her feel any better.
She was just glad to be leaving the house, and going back to Hogwarts.
☀
Solana slumped down into her seat in an empty compartment, her head against the window as she waited for the train to depart. She kept her eyes closed as students walked past noisily trying to find compartments.
The door to her compartment opened, she expected to see Antonin but instead Sirius stood in front of her.
“Andromeda told me what happened,” he said, nostrils flaring.
Solana sighed, “Sirius–”
He didn’t give her a chance to speak before he pointed a finger at her. “How could you say that about her– her daughter was right there– she heard everything–”
“I know,” she swallowed, the reminder of Andromeda’s face haunting her.
“Then why did you say it?” he barked.
“Sirius, please go away.”
“No, I want you to give me a fucking reason why you would say that–”
“I had to!” she said, shaking her head. “I had to say it… and even that wasn’t enough.”
Sirius’ brows knitted together, then noticed the placement of her hand resting on her side, the hint of bruising around her wrists.
“They hurt you?” his voice was no longer angry, it was soft and quiet.
“Please go away,” she said, tears brimming her eyes.
“Solana–”
“Sirius, I can’t be seen talking to you, please go before Antonin gets here,” she told him as the train departed from the station, it was only a matter of moments before he found her.
“Sol–”
“Please Sirius.” her voice cracked. “Please go,”
He hesitated, but as she turned her head back towards the window she heard his footsteps disappear.
She was entirely drained, longing for her bed at Hogwarts, she sighed again when the compartment door slid open once again.
“Sirius–” she began but instead it was his brother.
“What happened after the ball? Antonin said he couldn’t find you and then your mother said that you went to bed, but I went to your room and you weren’t there,” Regulus said, sitting down opposite her.
She shook her head. “Nothing,”
He crossed his arms. “I saw Sirius, he said he saw the bruises on your arms, let me see them.”
“No,”
“Lana, what did they do to you?”
She bit her lip, her voice was barely a whisper, “Nothing,”
“Solana,”
She knew he wasn’t going to leave her without an answer, so she slowly lifted her sleeve up.
“Fucking hell,” he whispered. “Was that Cygnus?”
She nodded. “There was a lost child in Diagon Alley so I helped her… turns out her mother was Andromeda. And then Antonin made a whole commotion and your mother saw and told my father and he–”
“I’m sorry, Lana.” Regulus apologised.
She shrugged, pulling the sleeve back down. “It’s done. It’s just– I said something awful and she heard me–”
“You had to say it–”
Sirius must have told him.
“Regulus, you didn’t see her face when I said it, and I didn’t even need to say it because look what happened.” she said, shaking her head and looking at the green fields. “I fucking hate this family.” she quickly wiped away the tears from her face.
Regulus gave her a sombre look.
She sniffed before changing the subject. “How did you get on with Evelyn?”
Regulus rolled his eyes. “She was actually okay, she did step on my feet a lot though whilst we were dancing,”
“Oh no,”
“It was fine though,” he said, “We ended up nicking a bottle of wine from Narcissa and hid in one of the rooms, turns out we’re not actually related, thank merlin. I will not have to marry a cousin.”
Solana gave a weak smile. “Glad you had fun,”
“You know if I knew what was happening–”
“You wouldn’t have been able to do anything–”
“I would have tried–”
“Then you would have ended up in the same state as I was.” She told him.
There was a silence.
“Did he put you in the portrait?”
She nodded silently.
It had been a punishment ever since she was a child, her father would banish her inside the painting for hours on end, Andromeda used to visit her to keep her company, but after she left Solana would spend all her time alone, only Ziggy the house elf visited her with the bare minimum of food and water.
“I’m going to burn that portrait down to the ground one day.” she said.
Regulus stifled a laugh. “There’s probably a charm on it to stop you from doing that.”
“Fuck sake.” Solana rolled her eyes.
☀
Solana didn’t see Antonin at all during the train ride back to Hogwarts, she didn’t see him at the carriages and she didn’t see as she walked through the Great hall for dinner.
She looked all around catching eyes with Remus who gave her a polite smile, to which she returned, sitting down next to Regulus.
“I haven’t seen Antonin,” she said, still looking down the Slytherin table.
“Maybe he got lost?” Regulus suggested, pouring himself a glass of water, almost spitting it out as Evelyn Greengrass sat opposite him, smiling softly.
“Hi Regulus.” she said politely.
“Evelyn,” he nodded, curtly.
“Alecto isn’t here either,” Solana muttered as she saw an empty space next to Amycus.
“Huh?” Regulus asked.
“Alecto. She’s not here, and I didn’t see her on the train.” she furrowed her brows, flinching slightly as she felt a hand on her waist.
“Hello,” Antonin said, sitting down at the table.
“Where were you?” Solana asked, moving slightly away from him.
“I was busy,”
She stared at him for a moment, before turning her head away, she saw Alecto sit down next to her brother, her eyes avoiding Solana’s.
The feast ended and the students were sent to their dorms.
Solana walked silently next to Antonin.
“You’ve been quiet,” he said.
She stopped in the middle of the corridor. “You haven’t apologised.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“At the ball. I asked you to loosen my corset and you tightened it–”
“Oh Solana, it was nothing–”
“It wasn’t nothing, Antonin” she said, she took a deep breath so she wouldn’t cry. “I asked you to one thing that was making me uncomfortable, and you disrespected that–”
“I wanted you to feel pretty–”
“I have bruises all over my body–”
“That’s your own fault,” he said, sharply. “It’s your fault for talking to Andromeda, and getting yourself in that situation.”
She shook her head as he took a hold on her arm, lifting up her sleeve, his fingers traced the bruises.
“I didn’t–” she whispered but he ignored her.
“I just hope that this means you have learned your lesson.” he snarled, “Toujours pur, am I right?”
She furrowed her brows, tears beginning to brim in her eyes.
“Solana, are you okay?” Remus’ voice came from the corridor.
“This isn’t your concern, Lupin.” Antonin glared.
“Respectfully, I did not ask you, Dolohov.” he didn’t take his eyes off of her.
“I’m fine, Lupin, thank you.” she said, quietly, looking at him, he glanced down at Antonin’s grip on her wrist to which he let go almost instantly.
Solana pulled her sleeve down quickly.
“We’ve got a session at eleven, tomorrow,” Remus said, briskly walking past.
“But tomorrow is Wednesday–” she began.
“New time table,” he said, turning round the corner.
“Let’s go,” Antonin said, walking ahead of her, an apology seemed nowhere in sight, but that night he managed to make his apology in bed.
As he slumped down next to her she looked at him, and a part of her loved him less.