The toilet trip
“I thought we might do something fun today.” Bill announced as they finished their breakfast.
Harry looked up from his half-eaten, slightly burned toast. He kind of missed Mrs. Weasley’s cooking, but Bill wasn’t bad. Besides, he got to eat and that was enough to keep him happy.
“What? Where?” Ron asked eagerly.
“Well, first we need to do some shopping.” He said with a speculative glance at the both of them. “Then I thought we might go to an amusement park.”
“Really? That’s sounds awesome.” Ron blurted out.
Harry had to admit that he too approved of the idea.
“Finish up your breakfast then” Bill grinned.
20 minutes later they sat in an old Ford Anglia, very reminiscent of the one he and Ron had managed to loose in the forest, though this car was red instead of blue. Harry couldn’t help the slight feeling of guilt as he thought of what had happened. Well, he couldn’t change the past. He sighed softly to himself as he stretched his legs in the back seat of the car. This car had no special features that Harry could recognize. It was normal sized, both on the inside and the outside, and had soft, worn leather stretching throughout the backseats of the car. A faint dusty smell lingered in the air.
Both Harry and Ron were seated in the back, placed upon elevated children’s seats. It didn’t do too much good. They were incomprehensible small, he couldn’t ever remember being this short and tiny before. Even with the extra height the seat provided, the top of his head didn’t reach where the headrest began.
“Where are we going shopping Bill?” Ron asked his brother. “And what do you actually need? I thought mum left enough groceries to feed us all while they were gone.”
“She left enough groceries to feed a hoard of hungry hippogriffs. Every day. For a year” Bill snickered. “No, I had something else in mind, just keep your patience and you’ll see.”.
Ron grumbled, but fell quiet eventually.
As they pulled into the parking lot of a muggle supermarket, Bill turned around and looked at them.
“I had originally meant for you to wait in the car, but you can’t really leave two toddlers in the car alone, can you?”
“But we’re not reaaally children, Bill.” Harry couldn’t help but point out, accompanied by a slight eyeroll.
“Yeah, you are” Bill teased. “you guys just shrunk a bit.”
“Besides, if the muggles saw they would definitely call those Please men or whatever their called.”
Harry snickered at the phrase. “pOlice men, Bill.”
“Yeah yeah, whatever. Move your lazy butts. And you should do well to remember to actually act like toddlers” Bill said, turning his head to the backseat.
Harry and Ron paled and looked at each other with disgust. Before either of them could voice their displeasure Bill continued talking.
“Unless of course you want to endanger the statute of secrecy, risking the ministry and the daily prophet to get involved, and in the process noticing your new.. condition.”
Harry felt a cold shiver wrack through his body at the thought of the newspaper discovering “The boy who bloody lived” newly degraded to a three-year-old child.
“Yeah.. we’ll definitely behave. Wont we Ron?” He said as he gave Ron a meaningful look.
Ron sighed but relented. “I suppose we will.”
Bill helped them both out of the car, picked up a shopping cart at the entrance and walked inside of the shop. Harry had helped aunt petunia shop for groceries a lot through the years, but this was completely different. This supermarket was enormous, they sold all from groceries, to children’s toys, to grills and outdoor equipment. They had everything. There were rows upon rows with colorful items, all sorted and placed in an orderly fashion. The light inside the shop was bright, and people crossed and strolled in all directions. Both Harry and Ron took it all in with wide excited eyes as they trudged next to Bill.
“wooow… muggles have everything at one place”
“Pretty cool, huh?” Harry answered him.
Harry spotted a row of colorful objects somewhere to the right. It spiked his interest and he wanted to go and see what it was. Bill was looking at something on the higher shelf, he probably wouldn’t even notice that he was gone if he just hurried. As he started to walk against the row of colors, he felt Ron take a hold of his arm. He barely looked back at him before continuing.
“I just want to what that is” He said, pointing in the right direction. Ron didn’t need more encouragement, he simply shrugged and followed.
The colorful row of items turned out to consist of outdoor toys. There was animal shaped floaties for outdoor swims, cricket, badminton rackets, balls, soap bubbles and so much more.
“Wow, what is that?” Ron exclaimed, crouching down to look at a big box.
“That’s a trampoline I think, you bounce on it.” Harry said, equally ecstatic.
Ron furrowed his brows. “Bounce on it? Like just jump up and down?”
Harry giggled “Well yeah, pretty much, but it gives you like extra bounce or something. It looked fun when Dudley and his friends did it at least.” Ron looked intrigued. Just as he was about to open his mouth to say something he got cut off by a tall woman standing behind them.
“And what can I do to help you, sweethearts?” The women said kindly. She was in her mid-thirties, with brown hair and eyes. Her eyes crinkled when she smiled, making her look quite friendly.
Ron looked at Harry with dismay and mouth the word ‘sweetheart’ as if it was a dirty swearword. Harry couldn’t contain his grin of amusement. Luckily his back was still turned to the lady.
“Err.. we were just looking a bit around, miss.” Harry said timidly.
“Oh, aren’t you such a sweet little gentleman” she cooed at him.
Harry grimaced inwardly. It occurred to him then that he probably should have taken Bills warning a bit more to heart.
“You aren’t here alone are you?” She frowned and looked around the empty aisle they were standing at.
“Umm..no?” Ron answered her. Harry barely kept himself from rolling his eyes at the plain answer. He nudged Ron to continue.
“Eh.. we’re with our brother. We’ll just go and find him.” Ron said, taking Harry’s hand and walking back the way they came.
“Oh, no, I’ll come with you!” She quickly rose from her crouching position and looking quite flustered hurried after them.
Bill was standing between some rows, looking quite distressed. When he caught sight of them, he let out a sigh of relief and hastily started walking in their direction.
“There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you, you cant just walk off like that!” He exclaimed exasperatedly.
“Sorry, Bill.” Ron said, looking contrite. “We just wanted to look at the tram- trappolime..?”
“Trampoline” Harry said quietly, looking at the ground. He hadn’t even meant for Bill to notice their absence.
Bill looked at harry, then seemed to finally notice the presence of a third party.
“And I suppose I should thank you for bringing these troublemakers back safe and sound?” He said with a warm smile towards the lady.
“I didn’t really do much, but I must admit I got a little worried when I saw them all alone in that aisle. I thought they seemed a bit young to be wandering around without supervision.”
“Yeah, they definitely are.” Bill said with a smirk.
“If you don’t mind me asking, how old are they? They are so small yet seem far ahead in terms of speech and intellectual development.”
“Yes, they are quite the extraordinary case. Let’s see..” he pretended to think about the answer for a few seconds. “They are about to turn three.” He said, taking pleasure in the whole situation.
“Huh, yes quite remarkable.” The lady looked closely at them both, and to his horror Harry found himself blushing. He quickly turned his back to the adults, cursing his colored cheeks.
“Thank you, miss, for returning them safely but I rather think I should get going.” The woman smiled, nodded, and wished them a nice day before wandering off.
Harry could feel Bill’s eyes on his back, he slowly turned around to look at him.
“I’m sorry Bill” he said quietly. He was staring at a dirty spot on the tiled supermarket floor, feeling quite embarrassed about how much he had managed to bollocks up. He wondered how Bill would punish them, he didn’t think it would be anything too harsh. Maybe he wouldn’t allow them to go to the amusement park after all, or maybe some cleaning or such. He remembered Ron talking about how Mrs. Weasley had taken him over his knees with a wooden spoon after he had done something very bad, he hoped this wouldn’t qualify as something that bad.
“Hey, Harry, could you look at me?” Bills soft voice penetrated his thoughts. He looked up into warm brown eyes, feeling his worry lessen slightly.
“I’m not that mad, but you guys gave me a scare. I would appreciate it if you didn’t walk off like that, you are after all very small right now.” Harry felt Ron bob his head beside him, and quickly followed suit. “I think if you could just sit in the cart for the rest of our shopping that would be punishment enough.” Bill said with a kind smile.
Bill placed his hands under his arms and effortlessly deposited him inside of the shopping cart. With both Harry and Ron inside, it was still a discouraging amount of room for shopping items left. He kept forgetting just how tiny they were right now, barely out of the baby stage. Discouraging, really.
“Child geniuses, hmm? Making quite the impression on the locals you two.” Bill teased them with a mocking smile.
“Well, we didn’t mean to.” Ron said with a huff. “How am I supposed to act like a bloody baby when I don’t even know how they actually act, what they say, do or how they behave.” Ron said dispassionately in a low voice, as not to be heard by the passersby.
“Fair point littlebrother, I can’t say I’m too familiar with them myself.”
Harry, however, had caught sight of some of the packages scattered around the trolley they were sitting in. With a sinking realization he turned to confront Bill. Once a Gryffindor, always a Gryffindor he supposed, even if he was a very small one at the moment.
“Bill, what is this?” He asked sourly holding up a package so that Bill and Ron could see.
Ron took one look at the package before he got a horrified expression on his face and his head snapped around to look at Bill. He could practically hear Ron’s neck crack under the effort.
“Noo.. you didn’t?” Ron said, voice heavy with betrayal and embarassment.
Bill looked a bit sheepish but didn’t seem overly concerned. “Let’s not have that discussion right now.”
The rest of the shopping went quickly with both boys giving each other dismayed looks every now and then. Definitely not sulking.
Back in the car Ron couldn’t contain his complaints any longer. As soon as Bill closed the door to the driver’s seat Ron burst.
“Bill, why did you buy nappies?” Ron managed to sound scandalized and whiny at the same time.
“Stop whining about it Ron. I didn’t say you HAD to wear them. Say, if you manage to keep your bed dry tonight you don’t have to wear one tomorrow.” Bill said with finality.
Ron still wasn’t pleased, and neither was Harry if he was being honest. He heard Ron mumble something about not wanting to wear one ever, and Harry really had to agree with that sentiment. Before either of them could start arguing about it, Bill dragged up another topic.
“Sooo, the amusement park is next on the list. Want to hear about it?” Bill sang overly enthusiastically.
They mumbled their agreement and Bill was off explaining. It was a muggle amusement park with a lot of attractions for younger children. It was rides to go on, minigames, some electrical car thing, trampolines (they were both extremely excited to try that), and even swimming pools and slides. Bill had even found some swimwear for them in the attic. By the end of his explanation, all sour moods were gone.
Bill also told them that he was going to pick up a friend to accompany them. Apparently, it was an old classmate of his. Her name was Tonks and when Bill had told her about his plans she had wanted to accompany them. None of them had an objection to it, especially after Bill told some stories about her. She seemed like fun. They had an hour drive to the amusement park, and Tonks would meet them at the entrance.
“Hey Bill? How come you know so much about the muggle world?” Harry had wondered that after observing how comfortable Bill seemed navigating the supermarket. Even Mr. Weasley, who worked in muggle relations seemed far more clueless.
“I spent a few weeks nearly every summer holiday at a muggleborn friend’s house in my Hogwarts years. They always took me out and we did a lot of muggle style stuff in the weeks I spent there. I mean, I am far from an expert in the muggle world, but it really isn’t as hard to navigate as most pure-blood wizards seem to think. My father included. He’s so enthusiastic about all thing muggle that he overcomplicates everything.” Bill said with a fond smile.
Bill turned on the radio, and soon Harry drifted off to sleep.
Harry woke up when the car hit a bump in the road, and he got jostled in his seat. He turned around and was about to go back to sleep when he felt a quite urgent twinge in his bladder. He pushed a hand between his legs and bounced up in his seat. They were still on the road, and Harry had no idea how long he had been asleep. He was definitely not going to risk peeing his pants though. Bill evidently already thought they were babies, no need to give him more fuel on that case.
“Bill?”
“Yes, Harry?” Bill answered with a searching look in the back mirror.”
“How long until we’re there?”
“At least another 20 minutes. Something wrong?”
No, something wasn’t wrong. He could still hold it for a while. He didn’t like to ask for bathroom breaks, or food, or other stuff really. It was engraved into his brain after many years living with the Dursleys. He had a better chance of getting what he wanted if he didn’t ask, with them at least. However, the unpleasantness of asking for a bathroom break was far less humiliating than trying to hold it and fail. Normally he wouldn’t be nearly as stressed about such a trivial thing, but the disgracing memories from the night and morning where still so fresh in his mind.
“No, nothing wrong.” He was silent for a few minutes. “I was just wondering if we could stop for a bathroom break.” He said fast and barely loud enough to be heard.
“Sure, no problem. There’s a rest stop in about five minutes. You alright until then?”
“Yeah” Harry said with relief. He didn’t even have to go that bad, just didn’t want to risk anything.
He spent the next five minutes looking out the window, one hand firmly between his thigs. When the car came to a stop outside of a petrol station Bill came out and opened the door for him. He had to help him get out because of the stupid child safety function on the seat. To his surprise though, Bill simply scooped him up and placed him on his hip before walking inside. He stiffened for a moment before relaxing in his arms. It was all very weird, he couldn’t ever remember being held like that.
“What about Ron?” he asked Bill, feeling a bit awkward clinging to his side.
“He’s sleeping, he’ll be fine for a few minutes.”
They walked to a stall and Bill finally sat him bac on the floor. Harry walked inside, but turned around when he saw that Bill was about to follow him.
“Uhm Bill? Do you mind waiting outside?” He asked quietly.
Bill eyed him for a moment, considering him.
“Yeah, I can do that. Sure you’ll be alright?”
“Definitely” he said with a small huff. Bill was great and all, considerate, nice and everything, but he really wasn’t a small helpless child. He had faced down a basilisk for gods sake, he could go to the fucking bathroom alone.
He wobbled to the toilet, pulling down the sweatpants he was using. First problem though, how to get up on the toilet? He squeezed himself lightly while pondering on a solution, the toilet was too tall, it reached nearly to his neck. He needed something to stand on, if he started jumping and climbing, he was almost certain he would lose control of his bladder.
He searched the small stall for something, anything that would help him.
“You okay in there, kid?” Bill asked from the other side of the door.
“Yeah, fine!” Absolutely fine...
There! He spotted the small garbage can hiding in the corner beside the toilet. He was in luck, for once in his life. The garbage can was a perfect size, made from thin steel. It seemed a bit unsteady, but he was small and very light. Making as little sound as possible he moved the can right in front of the toilet. Using both hands to steady himself he managed to climb up. He sighed as he finally could relieve himself of his full bladder.
When he was done and about to slide down, he realized he probably should flush while he still could. He twisted his body, stretching as far as he could to reach the flush button. Just as he managed to press it, he felt his body slip. With a muffled yelp and a faint splash, he found himself folded inside the toilet.
Great, just great. Couldn’t anything work out for him like ever?! He was fucking folded in a public bathroom with God how many nasty germs. Germs he now had on every inch of his body, well besides the tip of his toes. Even his hair was wet, filthy and nasty. He felt like crying, of course he didn’t, but he felt as if he could.
“Harry?! What are you doing in there? Are you alright?!” Bills alarmed voice brought him out of his own pity party.
“Marvelous, just freakin marvelous” he mumbled in response.
“I’m coming in Harry” Bill said with finality.
Yeah, just come in, not as if this was an embarrassing position to be found in. Harry heard the door open, then softly closed again. Bills head hovered over him, and he could hear him snort in amusement.
“Yes, very funny Bill. Now help me please.” He whined. He was tired, wet, dirty and humiliated. If he hadn’t been in such a mood he probably would have found the situation quite entertaining himself.
Bill let out small chuckles as he lifted him out of the toilet, pulling his pants up again and regarding his state.
“I think this situation might warrant for that cleaning charm we talked about, huh?” He said with a good-natured smile and a few snickers.
Even Harry himself had to give into a small smile as soon as the filthy feeling of the dirty toilet was gone.
Harry washed his hands and Bill once again deposited him in the car seat, and they were off again.
“I would have done right about anything for a camera right then” Bill snickered in his direction.
“Oh no, I am very happy you didn’t have one. The blackmail you would have had.” Harry shuddered at the thought before an even more terrifying possibility popped inside his head. “Just think, if the twins had gotten their hand at that blasted picture.”
Even Bill paled and shuddered at that thought.
“Yeah, might be for the best.”