Chapter 2
When Remus wakes the next morning, he enjoys a few blissful seconds floating in the liminal space between asleep and awake. Whale drifting awake, he entirely forgets this revelation from the previous nights. Until he opens his eyes and sees Sirius Black laying on the bed next to him.
Sirius’ dark hair is splayed across his pillow. He’s curled onto his side, gently, like the edges of a piece of paper thrown into a fire. Remus feels his own heart ignite at the sight of him.
It’s not as though Remus has been unaware that Sirius Black is attractive. Along the journey of their friendship he has of course noticed the grey eyes and perfectly tousled dark hair. He hasn’t been immune to appreciating the swagger of Sirius’ hips when he walked by. But he’s always seen Sirius Black’s attractiveness as an objective fact, not a subjective opinion. Until now.
Now, Remus finds himself wanting to run his hands through Sirius’ hair to discover if it tangles between his fingers. His eyes catch upon the place where Sirius’ sharp jaw meets his neck, and he realizes he wants to touch there, too.
Sirius twitches in his sleep, and Remus tears his eyes away before he gets caught. He shuffles out of bed as quietly as he can, casting a glance over his shoulder to make sure Sirius is still asleep.
Remus takes a quick shower, alone this time. He turns the water up extra-hot and gives himself a pep talk, telling himself that if he just ignores these feelings, they’ll go away. All he has to do is ignore it and keep himself in check.
When Remus emerges from the bathroom, rubbing a towel through his damp hair, Sirius is still fast asleep. Remus sets to making tea using the kettle in the corner of the room. Once two cups are ready , he places three sugar cubes in one, and two spoonfuls of milk and honey into the other. He sets the second cup next on the bedside table nearest to Sirius, making sure not to look too closely at the sleeping figure, and he casts a quick preservation charm on it to keep the cup warm.
Fifteen minutes later, Remus is sitting on the plush lounge sofa on the balcony, staring at the waves below and holding a half-cold teacup in his hands. When he hears the sliding door open behind him he holds breath, icicles forming in his throat.
The soft cushion sags next to him and a barely-there kiss is placed on the crown of his head. “Thanks for the tea, Moons,” Sirius croons, voice still syrup-heavy from sleep.
Remus closes his eyes Opens them. Looks over at his best friend sitting next to him.
How had he not noticed before? The way sunlight lights up Sirius’ cheeks. The way the wind does nothing to Sirius’ hair, curls sitting perfectly arranged, even in their sleep-mussed state. The way Remus’ heart both speeds up and settles when Sirius walks into a room.
Remus blinks. “Course,” he says. His stomach grumbles, loudly, and he’s grateful that it keeps him from blurting out anything else. “Should we go get breakfast?”
“Actually,” Sirius responds, lying back on the couch next to him, “I was thinking we could order room service. We should make the most of the all-inclusivity, after all.”
Remus hums in agreement, but apparently he’s not showing enough enthusiasm for Sirius’ liking. He furrows his brow and knocks Remus’ shoulder with his own. “You alright Moony?” he asks..
Remus inhales. Let the icicles in his throat thaw. Plasters on a smile. “Yeah, just tired. Not all of us slept half the morning away,” he teases.
Sirius scoffs. “It’s barely gone ten! But fine, I’ll order the breakfast then. Fry-up sound good to you?”
Remus nods. “Extra bacon, please.”
“What the wolf wants, the wolf gets,” Sirius says with a wink. Remus’ traitorous stomach swoops, not from hunger.
As Sirius walks back inside, Remus’ mind begins to calm.. Until a few moments later when Sirius calls to him through the doors.
“Remus, can you help me use the felly-tone?”
–
The morning passes quickly. Rain threatens outside, so Peter knocks on their door to invite them to a game of Exploding snap. After a few close calls with fire and singed eyebrows, the three men make their way to the wedding rehearsal. Lily has warned them several time not to be late, so they show up exactly on time.
The wedding is to be held in a small massage hut overlooking the sea. It has a thatched roof, held up by wooden beams that creak slightly in the sea breeze. A set of massage beds sit in the center of the space, but for the ceremony the next day they’ll be removed and replaced with a semicircle of chairs.
Now the space doesn’t look like much, but Remus knows Mary and Marlene have secret plans to bring it to life the next day.
As they wait for the officiant to arrive, the group of friends stands in the shade, chatting amongst themselves.
“Are you sure you don’t want Padfoot to be the ring bearer?” Sirius asks James, toying with the top button on his shirt. “He could wear the rings around a collar.”
To Remus’ annoyance, Sirius is wearing a dark blue Hawaiian shirt, emblazoned with pink flamingos. It’s annoying because while Remus knows he should think Sirius’ outfit is ridiculous, he’s finding the look somewhat charming. It doesn’t help that the top few buttons of Sirius shirt are unbuttoned, showing glimpses of a patch of chest hair that peeks out from underneath.
Remus engages himself in the conversation, mostly to keep his mind off of the chest hair he’s spent way too long sneaking glances of.
“Actually I thought Wormy would be a better ringbearer,” Remus counters. “He could wear the rings on his tail.”
James laughs as Peter rolls his eyes and gives Remus the finger. “Great ideas, lads, but I think I’ll just have Sirius the human take care of it,” he says.
Sirius puffs his chest out, grinning widely. When James had asked him to be Best Man, he’d spent an hour crying in delight, and now he was taking the job very seriously - current outfit notwithstanding.
Mary overhears the conversation and slides up next to Sirius. “So you mean Remus will be taking care of the rings, then,” she says.
Sirius has the gall to look confused at this. “I’m a perfectly capable wizard, I’ll have you know.”
Remus hides a smile. Of course Sirius has already asked Remius to tuck the rings away somewhere safe, after begging Remus to remind him to bring them to the ceremony the next day. The rings are currently hidden in a drawer in the hotel bathroom, secured by two separate locking spells that not even Sirius knows how to undo.
Luckily, Sirius is saved from his lies by the arrival of the ceremony officiant. James and Lily have managed to procure a wizard, which will be important for the magical elements of the ceremony, as well as the legal magical elements of the nuptials.
The officiant greets them warmly and walks them through how the ceremony will proceed on the following day. It’s a simple process. Lily and James will walk in together, Sirius and Mary will stand on either side of them, and the rest of the group will sit and watch. When the ceremony is over, the area will be transformed to a dining area, and then later on into a dance floor. The whole event will be a simple wedding, perfect for a couple who wants nothing else but to be with each other.
Once the rehearsal is over, the group goes to lunch together. Officially, it’s a rehearsal luncheon, but in reality it’s just the seven of them having lunch at the on-site seafood restaurant.
After lunch, everyone spends a few hours in the pool. When Remus gets out to dry himself off, he realizes Sirius has disappeared.
A few minutes later, he’s walking towards the bathroom when he sees Sirius walking towards him from the direction of the massage hut.
“Moony!” he calls, approaching Remus at a quick clip. “I have an idea for how we can spend the afternoon.” He has a devilish glint in his eye that Remus has long ago learned not to trust.
“Reading by the pool?” he asks hopefully. They’ve been there two days and he has yet to crack open any of the three books he’s brought on the trip.
Sirius laughs and shakes his head fondly. “No, you can do that anywhere. I was thinking we should get massages!”
Remus stops short. “Erm.” This was not on his vacation bucket list.
Sirius continues on, delivering the rest of the news like it’s a present waiting to be unwrapped. “I asked one of the masseuses and they have one spot left today,” he says.
“Oh, that’s fine, then. You take it,” Remus answers easily.
“Well, I would,” Sirius says. He looks nervous all of a sudden, avoiding direct eye contact with Remus. “But the one spot they have left is for a couples massage.”
Remus has known Sirius for long enough that doesn’t need him to spell out what he’s thinking. “No,” he says immediately.
“Oh come on,” Sirius whines. “They won’t know we’re not actually a couple. It doesn’t mean anything weird. We would just get massaged at the same time, in the same room.”
Remus thinks about it for a moment. Imagines what it would be like to pretend to be a couple with the friend he has unintentionally fallen for. It sounds horribly complicated.
“Sirius, I…”
Sirius cuts him off before he can continue. He takes a step closer to Remus and lowers his voice. “I already asked and you can leave your robe on the whole time.”
Something in Remus melts like butter on a warm pan. Sirius knows how self-conscious Remus is about his scars, and he’s been thoughtful enough to think of how he can still join the experience without being uncomfortable. The gesture is not making Remus’ feelings about Sirius any less complicated.
He looks at Sirius, noting the earnestness in his eyes. As usual, he finds Sirius impossible to say no to.
“What time?” he asks.
–
A few hours later, Sirius and Remus walk the stone path back towards the massage hut. Remus is caught by surprise when Sirius takes Remus’ hand in his own.
Remus’ heart immediately speeds up, but he tugs his hand back immediately. “What are you doing?” he hisses.
“Selling it, my darling,” Sirius says with a wink, reaching his hand back out for Remus’.
It’s a new kind of torture, Remus thinks. To be offered the hand he so desperately wants to hold, but not for the reasons he wants to.
Somewhat reluctantly, Remus slips his hand into Sirius’. Despite Remus’ taller stature, Sirius’ hand engulfs his own. The skin is flawlessly smooth, a great contrast to Remus’ own rough hands that are scarred from years of transformations. As Remus delights in the softness, he wonders what Sirius feels as he holds his hand. Is it uncomfortable to hold the hand of someone so scarred?
They walk into the massage hut, hands still clasped together. Three sides of the massage hut are covered with a gauzy white fabric that allows the ocean breeze to filter through while still giving an air of privacy. The front side is open to the ocean, giving a prime view to the slowly lapping waves on the shore. Two massage beds sit side by side in the center of the room, set only a meter apart.
A masseuse is standing by each bed, and Remus and Sirius are addressed warmly by them as they approach.
“Hello Mr. And Mr. Black,” the masseuse on the left says, greeting them with a warm smile. She has long blonde hair and sun-kissed skin. Her companion echoes the statement, running a hand through her own short brown hair.
Remus glances over at Sirius and raises an eyebrow at him, silently calling Sirius out for the surname. He’s pleased to find that Sirius has the decency to look slightly embarrassed.
“It’s Lupin-Black, actually,” Remus counters, just to be a pain. He doesn’t miss the small grin on Sirius’ face before it’s covered up with a classic Sirius Black eye roll.
The masseuses take this in stride and guide them to the tables, which are each laid with a fluffy white towel and a robe.
“We’ll give you a moment to change,” the dark-haired masseuse explains. “If you’d like to have a fully naked massage, feel free to fully disrobe and just cover yourself with the towel. For a more modest experience, you can wear the robe. Either way, we promise you’ll receive a fully relaxing massage.”
The massauses leave the hut, and Remus turns to shrug off his shirt. When he’s done, he glances around to see that Sirius is already fully naked. Quickly, he averts his eyes and removes his shorts, leaving his underwear on and slipping into the robe. It’s soft and florally scented, slightly warmed from the summer air.
Remus lays down on the massage table, face-first, ignoring the way Sirius’ bare body is visible out of the corner of his eye.
The masseuses enter back into the room, turning on light, beachy music that pipes out of muggle speakers set in each corner of the hut. The blonde woman approaches Remus’ right side, and the dark-haired one moves to Sirius’ side.
“Welcome, gentlemen,” the blonde says, voice as soft as the robe Remus is wearing. “There are only a few rules for today’s massage. Since this is a couple’s massage, feel free to talk to each other as we proceed. And of course, you can talk to us. Please let us know if we’re applying too much pressure, or not enough. This next half hour should be a time of complete relaxation. Any questions before we begin?”
Neither Remus nor Sirius say anything, and so the rubdowns begin.
Remus had worried that the robe would make it impossible for him to really feel the effects of the massage, but he’d been wrong. He can still feel every prod of the masseuses’ hands, working to relieve his tired and aching muscles. Remus knows he’s tightly wound; sore muscles are a byproduct of transforming into a different creature once a month. His body is always at least slightly aching, a feeling he’s gotten used to over the years. But with every kneading of the masseuse's hands, he feels the tension leaking out of his body.
Or he does, until he hears Sirius groan next to him. The sound startles him, and he instinctively turns his head to the left, where Sirius lies next to him.
Sirius is face-down, but he’s fully exposed, a white towel covering only his butt. The fabric barely grazes Sirius’ tailbone, and Remus’ eyes can’t help but drift over the dip in his back and up to the tops of his shoulders, which are now glistening with massage oil.
As the dark-haired masseuse kneads one of his shoulders, Sirius groans again. The sound is deep and guttural. Remus wants to swallow it. Instead, he swallows his own saliva, suddenly thick in his mouth.
“Can you turn up the music?” he asks. And to his relief, the masseuse does.
An hour later, Remus lies pliantly on the massage bed, every bit of tension melted out of his body.
He summons enough strength to thank his masseuse, and she just smiles knowingly. “I’m glad you enjoyed it,” She says. She glances at a watch on her wrist. “The next couple doesn’t come in for another half hour, so we’ll leave you to have some time alone here,” she says with a wink.
When Remus and Sirius are alone again, Remus’ begin to return to earth. From his position on his back, he rolls his head to the side to look at Sirius. He finds him grinning at him as he pulls his robe on, covering up the oily skin.
“That was amazing,” Sirius announces, leaning back on his bed. “How was it for you?”
“Sublime,” Remus answers honestly.
Sirius turns towards him. “Could you even really feel it with the robe on?” he asks.
Remus attempts a shrug, but his muscles are so lose he can barely manage it. “Surprisingly, yes.”
“But it couldn’t have been as good,” Sirius says, frowning a bit. “ I mean, the oil - it gets warm as they apply it. I swear it must have a potion in it.”
Remus chuckles. “Muggles can invent things too, you know. Not everything is magic.”
“You’d believe me if you’d felt it,” Sirius replies. He swings his legs off the bed and stands up next to Remus, picking up the oil dispenser that sits on the table between them.
“Take off your robe,” Sirius commands.
Remus eyes him warily. “Why?”
Sirius holds up the bottle of oil, shaking it in the air. “I’m going to give you a massage.”
Remus’ heart swoops in his chest. This is a terrible idea and he knows it. Having Sirius’ hands on him is certainly not in line with his vow to spend the day avoiding any Sirius-related feelings or triggers.
But Remus has never been very good at making wise choices. So before he knows it, his hands are undoing to the ties on his rob. He slips it off, letting it pool onto the floor next to him.
Sirius’ eyes track the moment. “Turn onto your stomach,” he says quietly.
Remus does, lying down and resting his head on his arms. He hears the pump of the oil dispenser as Sirius, followed by the sound of Sirius rubbing his hands together.
Remus jolts slightly as Sirius’ hands touch the middle of his back, slick and cold.
“You lied,” he hisses. “That stuff is freezing.”
“Give it a second,” Sirius replies. He continues rubbing the oil across Remus’ back. Remus can feel each swipe of his hand like a bolt of lightning in his chest.
“Oh,” he exhales, surprised. As Sirius’ hands keep moving, the lightning begins to warm as the oil heats up.
Sirius chuckles. “Told you so.”
His hands continue across Remus’ back, and follow an unmarked path towards his side, where Remus knows a deep gash is set into his flesh. It’s one of his least favorite scars, and he assumes Sirius will just avoid it. But Sirius’ hands hover for just a moment before Remus feels fingers lightly digging into the scarred flesh, tracing down the line of the scar.
Remus’ breath catches. Other than Remus, no one has ever been so close to his scars.. Of course Remus has been intimate with people before, but any intimacy is performed with his still shirt on, or hastily re-worn after the deed is done. No one has ever, ever touched his scars. And as Sirius continues to move his hands from one scar to another, he touches them so carefully, like coaxing a needle through a thread. His hands are steady, and apply just the right amount of pressure. Each scar is given its own attention, kneaded carefully and tenderly.
Embarrassingly, Remus feels tears springing in his eyes, and he buries his head into his arms to hide them. He breathes slowly, gathering himself and letting himself relax under Sirius’ gentle touch.
“Feel alright?” Sirius whispers next to him.
Remus swallows, clearing his throat to respond. Before he can, he’s interrupted by a voice from outside.
“Mr and Mr. Lupin-Black, the next guests are about to arrive. We hope you enjoyed your massage and have a pleasant rest of your day,” the masseuse calls. A gentle but clear indicator that their time is up.
Remus surreptitiously wipes his eyes on his arm as he raises his head and climbs off the bed, avoiding Sirius’ eyes as he pulls the robe back on.
—
As they walk back to their room, rain begins to fall. First in small, sparse droplets, and then in thick, heavy sheets. By the time they get back to the room, the fluffy massage robes are soaked through.
“It’s bloody freezing,” Remus complains. He casts a quick drying charm on his robe, but the chill remains in his bones. He feels the loss of Sirius’ warm hands on him like an ache after the full moon.
Sirius walks over to the wide sliding doors where he was wistfully staring at the rain pouring down the window panes. “There goes a beach afternoon, then,” he says with a sigh.
“We could invite Peter over again? Play a round of exploding snap with whiskey?” Remus suggests
Sirius thinks for a moment, then turns around and faces Remus. “I have a better idea,” he says.
Remus is very familiar with the look on Sjrius’ face. It’s the look Sirius gets when he’s about to suggest a hare-brained idea that he knows Remus will reject.
“What now?” Remus asks, exasperated.
Sirius just beams at him. “Let’s go skinny dipping,” he says.
Remus snorts and quirks an eyebrow at him. “Wasn’t running through the rain in robes close enough?”
“That’s the point!” Sirius says .“We’re already wet. Plus, I’m covered in oil, so I have to wash off anyway.”
As Sirius speaks, a bolt of lightning lights up the sky behind him, and rolling thunder follows shortly after.
Remus eyes the outside warily. “I think that’s the sky telling us no,” he says. “We can just take a shower - I mean, showers. We can take showers and warm up.”
Sirius frowns, but then his eyes suddenly light up. “We should use the spa,” he says excitedly, gesturing over to the bathtub that sits next to the large glass windows. “We can still skinny dip, just…indoors.”
Remus had forgotten the tub even existed, and he now glances at it hesitantly. “You want to nakedly take a bath together?” he asks. The words come out more boldly than he expected, falling from his lips without thinking them through.
Sirius glances away, looking at the tub with renewed interest. “It’s not bathing, it’s skinny-dipping! It’s not like we haven’t seen each other naked anyway. It’s no different than the shower.”
Remus can beg to differ. A shower with two separate shower heads, with enough room for them to spread out seems much less intimate than an enclosed tub.
But Sirius has already made his way to the tub, and taps the faucet gently with his wand to start the flow of water.
And Remus thinks, well, how bad can it be?
Fifteen minutes later, he discovers that it can be very bad, indeed. They’re engulfed in calm, warm water while the storm has picked up outside. Sirius is seated across the tub from Remus, with water gently lapping against his nipples. His legs are fully extended, settled next to Remus’ at the bottom of the tub. Every now and then Rumus can feel them brushing together, and it sends a zing of sparks up Remus’ thighs..
He watches helplessly as Sirius dunks his head, emerging from the water with dark wet locks that somehow still look perfect even without being styled.
“Can you believe our boy is getting married tomorrow?” Sirius asks. He lays his head back against the edge of the tub, giving Remus an extended view of the column of his neck.
“Erm, yeah, actually. It’s all he’s talked about for the past 10 years,” Remus says.
Sirius laughs. “Okay, good point. I think he’ll be a good husband, don’t you?”
“Obviously,” Remus says. “He’s completely devoted to her.”
Sirius raises his head a bit at this. “Not completely,” he says, frowning a bit.
Remus bites back a laugh and reassuringly bumps Sirius’ knee with his own. Sirius’ possessiveness of James will never fade, no matter how long James and Lily are together. “And he’s devoted to you, of course, Padfoot. One does not cancel out the other.”
Sirius’ face relaxes again. “He’ll be a great dad, too,” he says quietly.
“Yeah,” Remus agrees. James has talked about being a dad for years. He’s already planning to pass the Marauders Map and the Invisibility Cloak to his child as soon as they get to Hogwarts.
“He’s probably working on making their first kid right now,” Sirius observes. He gestures to the storm outside. “Pretty romantic night.”
Remus thinks this is quite a cruel thing to say. If circumstances were different, Remus might think he was having a romantic night, too. Instead, he just scoffs. “Merlin, do you have to put that image in my mind?”
“Aw, c’mon, Moony,” SIrius teases, “I think you’ll be a cute uncle.”
Remus blushes. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I need to be thinking about what needs to happen to make me one.”
Sirius laughs loudly, and Remus seizes the opportunity to stare at him, taking in the way laughter changes Sirius’ face, makes it softer. It makes Remus feel soft, too.
“Do you ever think about having kids?” Remus asks him.
Sirius is quiet for a moment before he answers, voice hushed. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it. I used to obsess about it, actually. I’d dream about being a better parent than I had, just to prove them wrong. But maybe that’s not enough reason to have a kid.”
“No,” Remus agrees, “But it’s understandable.” He pauses for a moment before continuing. “For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a great dad.”
Remus means it, too. He can see it easily; Sirius teaching his child how to ride a broom, Sirius at the dinner table wearing green bean mustaches just to crack his kids up, Sirius doling out physical affection so his children never doubt his love. Sirius showing his partner the same affection...Remus stops his thoughts there.
“What about you?” Sirius asks. He kicks Remus’ ankle gently with his foot, and Remus swears the lightning outside is coursing through his whole body. “Do you want to be a dad?”
“I dunno,” Remus answers honestly. “I want to, but...not sure how much of a dad I can be when I have to be an absentee one once a month.”
Sirius sits up immediately, sloshing water outside of the tub with his sudden movement. His expression is suddenly serious. “No. Moons - there are dads who are home 24/7 that are more absent than you would be. You’d be a kickass dad.”
Remus feels warm, and knows his face is flushing. “Thanks,” he says.
Sirius must see something in his eyes that makes him skeptical, because he continues. “I mean it, Moony. You’re so kind and so - so steady. Your kids would know you’re there for them no matter what. Even if you have to be away every once and a while. Just like I know - or, I mean, we know. All of us. That you’re here for us.”
Remus has to fight the overwhelming urge to dunk himself under the water and never return. He’s sure his whole body is flushing now. He tries to think of something to say, but he doesn’t think he can take any more of these sincere compliments from Sirius without melting into a puddle of goo.
So he deflects. “You would value loyalty, you dog.”
Sirius takes the bait and grins at him. “Fair point. You know what else dogs value? Food. Can we order room service again?”
Remus glances at the storm outside. “Well I’m certainly not going out in this. Let’s do it”
“Excellent,” Sirius says. He grabs his wand from it’s perch outside the tub and aims it at the telephone. “Accio telephone.”
The phone rips out of the wall and flies over to Sirius. Remus narrowly manages to catch it before it falls into the water, but the chord is uslessly trailing into the tub.
Sirius picks up the receiver. “Why isn’t it making that buzzing noise?” he asks.
–
Once Remus plugs the phone back in and orders their food, he settles onto the couch in his robe. Eventually, Sirius pulls himself out of the now-lukewarm water and dresses himself in his own robe, settling himself on the couch next to Moony.
They’re interrupted by a knock on the door.
“Must be room service already,” Remus says. “That was quick. Maybe they are using some magic after all.”
“Should we put clothes on?” Sirius asks. “I mean, they’re definitely going to think we’re together,” Sirius says.
“What?” Remus asks, utterly confused..
Sirius gestures at both of them. “C’mon, we’ve got the tub full of water and we’re both sat here in our robes ordering room service. We look like a proper couple.”
Remus’ mouth goes dry. “Is that…is that a problem?” he asks. Sirius didn’t seem to think it was a problem when it was time for a pretend couples massage.
For a second, Remus thinks maybe he’s gone too far.. Maybe he’s been wearing his heart on his fluffy-robed sleeve.
But Sirius doesn’t seem to pick up on it. “Course not,” he says casually.
Remus’ heart speeds up.
“It’s just funny, is all,” Sirius continues.
Remus’ heart slows right back down. Funny. Of course the idea of them being together is funny to Sirius. Because he doesn’t feel anything for Remus. To him it’s just a laugh that he could ever be with Remus.
“Right.” Remus responds, a little sharply. “I’ll get the door.”
When he opens the door, however, he’s surprised to find that Room Service has not arrived. Instead, it’s James, grinning at him while holding his pajamas and toothbrush in his arms.
“Lily kicked me out,” he explains. But he’s smiling, so it can’t be bad news.
“Already?” Sirius crows, coming to stand behind Remus. “You’re not even married yet, you can’t get divorced!”
“Not like that,” James replies, rolling his eyes. “She just says it’s bad luck for us to sleep together the night before the wedding. She’s superstitious all of a sudden.”
“Oh,” Remus says. “I’ve heard of that.”
“Yeah,” James nods. “So I was wondering if I could bunk with you lads tonight?” He looks between Sirius and Remus, taking in their robes, and then glances back into the depths of room.
“Unless…I’m interrupting something?” he asks, looking a little confused.
Sirius pulls the door open more widely. “Not at all. Moons and I were just having a spa night. Course you can stay with us.”
James smiles at them both and follows them in.
“Should we add to the room service order?” Remus asks.
–
Later that night, when they’re all stuffed with food and the three rounds of desserts delivered by hotel staff, they finally decide it’s time for bed. They’re brushing their teeth when Remus realizes they’ll have to switch up their sleeping arrangements.
“I can take the couch,” Remus says automatically.
“Nonsense,” Sirius answers. He spits into the sink. “There’s plenty of room in that bed for the three of us.”
James nods, toothbrush flying wildly in his mouth. “Yeah. That’s fine. I want to sleep with both of my best boys tonight.”
“What about Peter?” Remus asks.
James gives Remus a sheepish look. “He snores.”
Once they’ve all brushed their teeth and used the loo, they journey to the bed. Remus hesitates, waiting to see how the others arrange themselves.
To both his horror and his glee, Sirius jumps into the center of the bed. “I call middle!” he crows.
James snorts and walks to the other side of the bed, placing his glasses on the bedside table before pulling back the covers. “Sounds good to me,” he says. “I’m so nervous tomorrow I’ll probably get up and wee five times tonight.”
Remus takes a deep breath to steel himself, and then slowly gets into his side of the bed; pulling the covers back far enough that Sirius can slip under them, too.
Once he’s settled, he looks at his friends and sees Sirius pulling James into a tight embrace. “I get to be big spoon.” he announces.
“Nice,” James responds. “I prefer being little spoon.”
Sirius pulls back a little bit. “Does that mean Lily is usually the big spoon?” he asks gleefully.
James is silent, only confirming Sirius’ suspicions.
“I would expect nothing less,” Remus admits, as Sirius laughs heartily, shaking the bed next to him.
Remus stares at his friend and reminds himself that this is what friendship is. Two friends are able to embrace without it being weird. It’s normal to be physically affectionate. What is not normal is to feel a bit jealous of it, which Remus unfortunately does.
Now that he’s thinking about it, Sirius has always been more physically affectionate with James than with him. It must be because they’re closer, he thinks, and he tells himself not to mind. It’s fine if Sirius doesn’t want to hold onto him. It’s normal. No matter how much Remus might wish he was the little spoon tonight.
He lifts his wand to turn out the lights. “Nox.”
Remus wakes a few hours later, eyes slowly opening, unseeing in the dark. He feels a lump below his head, moving slowly, up and down. As he drifts into consciousness he realizes, with horror, that his face is pillowed on top of Sirius’ chest.
After a moment of panic he forces himself to breathe. He relaxes, ad in his half-asleep state he thinks - what if? And so, he lets himself stay there and pretend. Just for a moment, he envisions sleeping like this with Sirius every night. Feeling safe and warm and adored. He closes his eyes, breathing in Sirius’ familiar smoky scent. Allows himself 60 seconds to stay where he is.
When the 60 seconds are up, he pulls back wincing as he accidentally knocks his chin against Sirius’ chest in the process. As he distances himself, he feels a hand on top of his head.
Sirius whispers. “S’fine, Moons. Stay,” His voice is so quiet it could almost be mistaken for a dream. Maybe it is a dream, Remus thinks. And who is he to deny a good dream? He sets his head back on Sirius’ chest, gently, and allows the rise and fall of Sirius’ chest to carry him off to sleep.