Remus Lupin quietly sat at the cabin, watching the familiar view outside the window, in just a few hours they'll be arriving at Hogwarts, he would be going back to where his childhood had blossomed
The hallways gave him a wash of nostalgia, and as he walks in the great hall, memories just flood him, James stuffing his face with breakfast as he multitasks by talking, Peter quipping in with a whole another suggestion, and then Sirius …
He doesn't know how long he's staring at the students but he snaps out of his thoughts when someone sits beside him
He's shorter, hair as curly as Remus can remember and the bored look he has on
"Regulus?" the person looked at him, his brows shot up a bit before looking forward again
"Hello Lupin, I see you've accepted a position as well"
"Yes, they offered me the Defense Against the Dark Arts" Remus clears his throat a bit getting into a civil conversation
"Ah, I do remember you saying wanting to teach this subject" Regulus replies but still passive looking at the students undergoing their sorting ceremony
"You remember that?" Remus asks
"Of course , unlike some, I do remember my friends"
Remus pursed his lips at that
It's been six years since he last saw his friends it had been after the altercation between him, James, Sirius and Snape
That fullmoon, where Sirius had told Snape how to get past the Whomping willow, the night where Snape saw him and where he and James almost died by his hands, the night Sirius made him feel like the thing he had always believed himself to be….A Monster
He remembered waking up and hearing the story, his heart shattered numb and when he asked why, he wasn't given an answer
His parents were informed of course and his father had decided then to pull him out of the school, and if before , any notion of him being taken away from the school he thought of as home would get him into a defensive rage, but then he didn't protest, James tries to talk to him out of it, Peter cried when he's packing ,Lily also did try to persuade him to not go, Mary tells him to give it more time and Marlene had hit him on the shoulder before storming off, then there's also Regulus, who he had became close to since the boy got incorporated into their merry band when he started dating James and Lily and also because of his brother , Regulus tried to talk to him too, but by then Remus is already decided
He told them he would write, but sometimes, when he got caught up into himself, when he would get caught up in the notion of believing that everything would be better if he's not in contact and his friends completely just forget him, his letters wouldn't reach their receiver, he would write half a page and then crumple them up and threw them, or just keep them, The last letter he had sent was for Lily and Mary, just a little bit of a year ago and only as a birthday greeting
And although he got James' letters or Peter's and Marlene and although he would read them, he only ever replied once,He never got one from Sirius
He did tell Sirius to stay away, to tell Sirius to get lost, to never speak to him
Remus felt himself being conflicted not seeing Sirius before he go, not being able to say that he wanted to forgive him, that all he wants is to see him again and tell him that he had forgiven him
And now that he's back, and he hopes he can do what he cowardly can't do back then
To see his friends and make amends with them
—-----
His classes starts immediately and he enjoys seeing the kids get interested in his lessons, his heart light at seeing them have fun during class, and if some of them tried to do pranks, he either just turn away or he secretly gets the prank in motion
He does see Regulus at the staff room for meetings but they only hold civil conversations, mostly Regulus and his snarky remarks, he knows this side of Regulus of course but being at the other side of this is an experience Remus isn't familiar with that it felt like he had to tiptoe around him
It wasn't until his first full moon that he and Regulus actually got into a conversation, he's in the hospital wings, Poppy just gave him some Pepper-Ups and he's once again filled with nostalgia, he was lost in thought but was snapped out of if by the sound of chair scraping the floor
" Brought your favorite chocolate, your class is asking for you"
He blinks in surprise
"T-thanks"
"Eat that then tell me what you've been up to for the past six years"
Remus blinks again
" you've been acting like we're strangers ever since I got here…"
"Because we are, I didn't know shit about you since you went and go no contact, and also I was mad"
Remus' surprised quota is already at its numbers, Regulus Black was never one to admit what's going on in his head, he used to need to coax him into talking but him telling Remus how mad he actually is, younger Remus and Regulus would faint
"I'm sorry,every explanation I will say will be an excuse but still I'm sorry"
"Yeah I already get that, and an apology is not what I'm asking for Remus, let's catch up, tell me about where you've been, what we missed?"
"You know if your 15 year old self hears you right now he will faint"
"Well 15 year old me grew up and said suck it! and besides, James and Lily …"
He didn't even hide his smile as he plays with a simple band on his finger
"Don't tell you three…"
Remus wants to kick himself now, for missing one of the most important parts of James, Lily and Regulus' life
"We got some things settled on paper only, we actually didn't want to have a ceremony without you there and besides Lily still have to pummel you then tell you to be her man of honor"
Remus really isn't much used to this Regulus but it's wonderful how the fifteen year old boy who looks like he carries the world on his shoulders before, now a man whose eyes are brighter, his shoulders light and his smile freer, his smile did resemble…
"So tell me Remus, What's up with you?"
"This is gonna be a little long, don't you have classes to teach?"
"Not until afternoon, we have plenty of time now start storytelling"
Remus laughs, they did spend half the day talking, and he does missed Regulus and he would also be writing to Lily and James later
—----------
Regulus Black came a long way from that hissy teen ager to the man he is now, yes he had gotten a lot better at saying what's in his mind instead of bottling it all up, though he knows there are certain things he still doesn't and wouldn't let slide
Grudges for example
Regulus held grudges, and he loves having revenge in which he can smugly smile and watch the show unfold
He's done being mad at Lupin, he can't say he has anything to be mad about, of course he understood the hesitance of the man, after all Regulus himself knows how betrayal can eat you up in misery and questions about yourself, and in their cases, betrayal came from the person that's both important to them
So Regulus understands why Remus went almost no contact, but that doesn't mean he can't hold a little grudge …
It's been weeks since their conversation in the hospital wing, he and Remus would have chats in the staff room over tea, even listen to some gossip some of the older staff would spill
It was one conversation that had Regulus' cunning turn gears in his head
He was playing with his ring, the one he shared with James and Lily and Remus eyes him
"Did… uhmmm did you get a plan for a ceremony yet?"
"Not much but we did have something in mind, we're thinking maybe a spring wedding and as I said Lily was adamant about you being her best of honor and James wants his best man to be Si…"
Regulus pauses as Remus' took a breath, he didn't mean to bring up Sirius yet knowing he's still a very touchy subject to the man , but also Regulus becomes a little curious, does Lupin still …
After all these years?
Remus clears his throat and looks at him
before he asks
"How was he? Sirius I mean" Remus' avoided his gaze but Regulus sees
Oh … oh he really still does …
A sudden wash of protectiveness surged in Regulus, he can remember how his brother called for Remus as he whimpered feverishly in pain after what happened that night …
His brother had asked for Remus, but not even James can contact him, and Regulus knows that one of the grudges he still hold against Lupin is about his brother
"About Sirius…" Regulus starts but was interrupted when the alarm they kept in the staff room rang indicating the end of their break
Remus didn't ask about Sirius again and Regulus didn't bring it up but he sneakily drop some things that he know would be easily connect to Sirius and Regulus would throw them casually and would secretly watch Remus' shift of expression whenever it works to make him remember some things
It was Hogsmeade day and Regulus for himself can say he's as excited as the students today, he would actually be having a date with Lily and James and they would meet by the Three Broomsticks, he was walking to the direction of Hogsmeade when he bumps into Remus
"You look excited" Remus smiles at him teasingly
" I'm meeting with James and Lily, you're welcome to come, Lily will be ecstatic to see you, so will James"
He can see Remus thinking about it, his smile dropped into a very faint one
"we're visiting Sirius today too"
Remus' smile drops at that, and his expression went unsure
"It's nearing his anniversary anyway" Regulus baits
"Anniversary?" he can see all the questions run in Lupin's face, Regulus schools his emotion as he looks away to prepare for what he will say next
"There's another thing that I was actually mad at you about I guess " he says voice dropping in a solemn tone
"What is it?"
"That you weren't at the funeral" he heard Remus' breath hitch
"Regulus what are you…"
" Sirius died six years ago Remus, and it seems that you really didn't read much of our letters since by the looks of it, you just found out today…"
Regulus bit his cheek, his eyes now stinging with some tears , he looks at the pale faced Remus, his eyes wide and his fists now balled until his knuckles are white
"Six years… " the tremble in Remus' voice made Regulus wince a bit
"Holiday, a week before Yule, we were sent home, my parents tried to betroth Sirius to a Pureblood girl but he refused and then made a scene on the Gala we hosted , told them he's gay"
Remus is now as white as a sheet
"They did what they always do, they used the cruciatus on him, it's the worst they've done, he…he was… bleeding too much and by the time I managed to get help from the Potters, it's too late… it's too late"
Regulus let a few tears drop, he wasn't completely lying, that night Sirius stuffed him in their wardrobe and charmed the lock so he won't get out, then he heard screams, gut wrenching screams as his mother angrily screech spells upon spells, and when the screaming stopped, the magic on the wardrobe ceases
He will never forget how the blood stick under his toes, or the smell of it irritated his nose, how he shakingly knelt beside his brother praying on high heavens that he's still breathing, when he heard a whimper from his brother, Regulus in all his strength carried him to the fireplace, he was ready to floo his brother out of that hell hole they called house but he saw his brother's wide eyes open and awake and then he calls his name and had gripped tight on his wrist
His decision to come with Sirius and floo to the Potters that night is something he would never regret in his life …
And yes, Sirius is safe, Euphemia Potter is a Medi-witch and she was able to heal Sirius,
He's alive, there are some repercussions from the injuries the unforgivables used but he's alive
But Regulus wouldn't tell that to Remus and he watch through crocodile tears how the man's world seem to crumble under his feet
Okay Regulus feels a bit guilty now
But would he stop until he gets what he wants to do? No…
Is this gonna bite him back in the ass? He's gonna make sure it works that it doesn't…
Anyway, plan is already in motion so there's no backing out now
He clears his throat and wipe the side of his eyes before he faces Remus
"I have to go, Lily and James are probably at Three Broomsticks now, You're always welcome to join Remus, we did miss you"
He gave Remus a smile before walking away leaving the stunned Remus there
—------
Regulus found Lily and James at one of the corner tables of Three Broomsticks, he gave Lily a kiss on the side of her lips that she always likes and James on his cheek but it's more to tease him than actually giving him what he wants, Lily snickers as James pouts and Regulus sat beside Lily
"Why do the both of you like to gang up on me?" James huffs pouting more
"Because darling, you look adorable when you're teased " Regulus smirks and to prove his point James' cheeks just flared up in pink earning another laugh from his partners
"How's your day love?" Lily ask Regulus
"Well, Students are a pain but they're also good"
"Uh huh, any new talks around the staff?" James recovered from his flustered mess and smiled with mirth in his eyes
"Well, aside from the one Remus would tell me"
"Yeah Remus, that git is here and didn't even say hi, he only writes to Lils, what are we chopped liver? " James huffs
"You think he'll say yes if we invited him over?" Lily asks
Regulus looks at both of them , grimacing a bit
"About that, I actually did invite him to join us here since it's Hogsmeade day…"
"And? Why is he not here? What's his excuse this time?"
"Well… "
"Well what?"
"I kind of scared him I think and well, let's just say, I broke him a bit"
Lily and James looks at Regulus with a brow raised
"Reggie, what did you do?" James pries
"I told him Sirius is dead"
"You did what?"
"I told him, he should join us because we miss him and it's near Sirius' death anniversary"
James blinks at him with his mouth in 'o' shape and Lily pursed her lips , then she starts laughing
"Oh you're a little shit!" Lily is still laughing
"Why did you do that" James asks between bewildered and amused
"I got Overprotective?"
"Oh my godric!"
"You made a mess Reggie, poor bloke must be in shambles! James says
"Well I get petty and protective, he didn't contact us for years and besides, I guess that would give him at least a call to maybe visit us"
"Oh sweetie! You beautiful brilliant darling, I really wouldn't put past you to do this without your dramatics" Lily praised him still laughing
"Looks like Lils is on my side" Regulus grins
"Of course but I do must say, you're brilliant love, you think we can actually do a made up anniversary something that Moony can attend?" James again has this mischievous grin on him
"Of course, that's what I want to talk about, because of course we don't tell Sirius and…"
So they did device a plan to invite Remus on the first weeks of the Hols, in the guise of Sirius' anniversary,
"You guys do also realize this might come back and bite us in our arse right?"
"Yeah but we cross that bridge when we get there "
"Alright then let's Prank Moony"
—-----------
"The anniversary, when.. when is it?" Remus quietly ask one time when he met with Regulus for some tea after classes, it's been a month since their conversation on Hogsmeade day, and since then the subject wasn't brought up again, and Remus finds himself making excuses in his head on why he won't bring it up, but as the holiday approach, he felt himself restless, he's in denial really and he wanted to see for himself, wanted to see so then he can make himself believe…
"The 20th, exactly five days before yule" Regulus answers and then there's a silence between them
"You know the invite still stands, he would want you there, like I said, we've missed you and so does he" Regulus adds
"I… I'll be there"
Regulus smiles faintly, his eyes with melancholy before taking a sip of his tea
"I'll tell James and Lily, they'll be glad, the rest will be there too"
"Sounds more like a party"
"he loves parties especially when he can dance on a table, remember those Gryffindor Parties you lot throw?"
"He makes excuses to have a celebration"
"He does"
—------
Remus is a nervous wreck, for the first time in six years he's visiting the Potter Manor, a nervous wreck because the first time in six years and his visit would be a death anniversary
Sirius' death anniversary
Remus can already feel a lump forming in his throat, memories with Sirius are flooding in the Manor, the old oak tree where he first started having feelings for Sirius,they were in third year, having a rowdy play under the tree and Sirius tries to climb up but then fails and Remus has to catch him, they laughed after and he's just so beautiful under the warm summer sun
The lawn where they play with sparkles one new year, the patio where they kissed because of a mistletoe
Remus wants to run again, he doesn't want to face that Sirius … Sirius is gone and he wasn't able to say goodbye, he's gone and Remus still wasn't able to get his head around it
"Remus!" Fiery Red hair floods his vision and he finds himself being pulled into a hug by Lily which he reciprocated hugging her as tightly as she did, they pulled away after Lily gives him a kiss on the cheek, then she punches him on the arm and she's got a good hit he hissed at the impact
"You absolute tosser! Where the fuck were you and why did you just show up now huh?"
"I'm missed you too Lils" he can't help but just give a small chuckle, she's still as beautiful as ever and her eyes bright,
"You're going to tell me everything that happened to you, now come on in, Pete , James and Reg are already waiting waiting" he let her pull him inside, it's just as warm and homey as he remembers, the house smell of cinnamon and apples
"Remus!"
"Pete!" Friends greeted each other with a hug
"I can't believe it's you mate, We missed you"
He ruffled Peters hair which is something he has alway done when they were in school,and the familiar laugh he got when he did that lifted some heaviness in his chest
"Moony!" He was almost tackled as James came barrelling onto him, James and his warm embrace, he returns the hug
"Hey Prongs"
"I missed you"
"I missed you too"
They were silent a bit and James looks at him softly before giving him light tap on the shoulder
"come one Moony, he's waiting" James had pulled him to the drawing room, it's just as he remembered it, attached to the large study that once belonged to Fleamont Potter and Euphemia Potter before they actually retire in one of their country homes
"James is this where…James?" Remus sighs, James left him here probably to help Lily and Peter with something, he shook his head and continued to reminisce as the nostalgia of seeing the floor to ceiling bookshelves laden with books Remus had once been given a permission to read
His eyes scan the spines, he remembered the first time he saw this place and was completely in awe,he smiled at the memory of his friends jokingly calling him a swot and
"Damnit! Curse this bloody crutch!" He heard a hissed cry and the sound of fallen books in the study adjacent, his heart skipped, the voice is a sound he knows all too well but that can't be right?
He slowly made his way inside the study, and there he sees, with his back turned from him trying to pick up books from the floor,one arm slung on a crutch, dark curls hair pinned up by his wand, leather jacket and a pair of mismatched star and moon earrings
Remus stood there frozen, is his mind playing tricks? He can't be just seeing things right?
"Sirius…" he calls
Sirius turns to him, his stormy grey eyes wide and the books he had picked up falling back on the wooden floor
"Moony, you're back" Remus heard him speak, Sirius' eyes now red rimmed and glassy
Hearing his voice, Remus closed their distance and looks at Sirius as if he'll disappear, scanning every inch of his face
"You're real, You're here"
"Moony…I "
Remus pulls him close, eager to feel his warmth, to know that he's breathing to feel his heartbeat, and Sirius is very much alive, real and
"I thought you're gone"
",What?"
"Regulus told me that, you're dead, that it's your death anniversary, that…"
"H-hold on Reg did what? And he knew you'd be here? That little shi–"
"You're here, you're alive"
"Iam, I'm alive and I'm not going anywhere, I'm here…I- I've been waiting…"
"I made you wait for too long…"
"I thought you haven't forgiven me, I'm so sorry Moony"
"I've forgiven you a long time ago, I've forgiven you the moment I knew you were safe that night"
He had cupped Sirius' cheeks on his palm, tucking his curls behind his ear as he looked closely at his eyes, their foreheads touched …
"Okay not the way we plan to have them meet…" James stands at the doorway looking at the two of them with a sheepish smile
"At Least they got to see each other" Lily Shrugs
"Would've been better to see Lupin cry a bit more" Regulus had his arms crossed
"That's mean.." Peter just scratched his cheek
Sirius and Remus looks at the four, Remus with an unimpressed look
"You guys planned this? And Reg, you dragged them into this shit of yours?"
"I got Overprotective "
"You shi–"