Carefully Sirius walked through the tunnel leading to the shrieking shag. For a long time now he observed the strange behaviour of his boyfriend, and he finally wanted to find out what it was all about. Of course, he could have just asked him. It is not like Sirius was stupid enough to not consider that. But Remus never answered. "Can we please talk tomorrow?", but tomorrow never came.
Finally, he reached the end of the corridor. Here he was. Remus. But something was... differnet. Somehow less human. His body seemed to morph, to change. This verified the suspicion he had. Remus truly was a werewolf.
"Sirius, RUN", Remus yelled. But it was too late for the nosy marauder...
The scream was the last thing he ever heard.
Nobody wasted a thought on the fact that the noises coming out of the shrieking shag sounded a bit different that day.
When the night ended everything else ended with her. Sirius Black was dead. And the secret he died for was now public.
POV Remus
I cant do this anymore.
I have been just laying here since what feels like months. The only one still living as normal as possible is Peter while James is laying here with me. We cant even look each other in the eyes anymore. Not because he thinks its my fault. No one thinks that It is my fault. Besides me.
And Regulus.
It is bad enough that i killed my boyfriend, the Person who meant the most to me.
But i also killed Jamess best friend.
And Regulus Brother.
We never knew how bad their home truly was, but since the... incident neither Regulus nor his Parents tried to hide the abuse anymore. He and Sirius were supposed to flee to James in the Summer Holidays, but now we cant even be sure if James will be able to attend class after the christmas Holidays are over.
And all that just because of me.
I dont want to continue on.
I ended a Life.
Not only any life, but one of a wonderfull Human
A Human that so many people would have died for instead
I would have switched places with him in an instand.
But he is dead and it is my fault.
POV James
I still expect him to just show up again any moment. Enter our dorm like nothing happened, like he didnt have his organs ripped out and scattered all over that room.
„Hey, James, want to prank snivellus?“
Every waking moment i try to realize that he wont happen, that the „Nice one, James“ he said before going to the shrieking shrag was the last one.
Sometimes i question if i really need to accept it. Why not just live my life like before? Like Sirius will come around the corner with Remus, his hair all messed up because of whatever they did there, and immediatly ask me to fix it right before he tells us what idea he came up with to talk minnie out of our detention this week.
About minnie.
She invited us for a cup of tea and a few biscuits. I dont know what to do.
It would feel great to talk to her. She was practiclly his mother. But without him…
It would feel like saying goodbye forever.
I dont think i will ever find peace. Padfoot will always be just around the corner form me. Maybe making out with Moony. Maybe getting yelled at by another teacher. Maybe, pulling out his mirror so he could talk to me.
That goddamn mirror. Ive been staring at it more than ever. I screamed at it trying to make it work again, trying to see him again. Without the destroyed face but with that smile he always had, that smile that meant trouble yet the smile that made me feel… whole. I wont ever be again without him.
I just want my brother back.
Is that too much to ask for dear universe?
Give him back.
POV Regulus
Sirius is gone.
I still didnt fully realize it.
My Brother.
How am i supposed to survive my parents without him?
I cant do this anymore
I cant do anything anymore
I dont want to do this anymore.
I know, i should keep living for him. This is what he would want.
Would want.
If this shitty Werewolf didnt take him away, riping him out of his life.
All this wouldnt be what he would have wanted.
And its the fault of this… thing
Im well aware that my grief might be driving me insane but my brother will be the last person to get hurt by this monster.
Youd think i would just go there with my wand, pull a little avada and be done.
Or invite it to talk to the astronomy tower and push it down.
You know.
Like a normal person would do.
Hide the evidence just to feel bad afterwards and confess to some teacher while crying your heart out before getting locked away in azkaban for the rest of your life.
But sadly, i got nothing to lose besides my knife. Who even needs a wand when they arent going to live long enough to miss it anyway?
The walk t othe gryffindor dorm seems so far away. My thoughts are wandering places, remembering the happy moments in this now hollow castle. I can vaguely remember those times when i was happy without him, when i finally got to be my own person. Not that i was outshined by him, but moments where i could stand on my own, not needing a big brother to protect me. Memories of a person who woudve been able to overcome this. A lot of grief, sure, but a person that could survive until 15, even as an only child.
But as i say, they are vague. Unreachable. Another me, one that died the moment they saw how dead even the most cheerfull eyes could look when theres barely anything left of the body. All that seems to reach my brain is those happy moments with someone who is now a few pieces of flesh, rotting in a grave where he will eventually be joined by those who doomed our lives from the start.
At least tha piece of dirt didnt let me wait for too long when i send this little friend of them to get him. I dont understand why he had to bring sirius oh so perfect better brother with him but i honestly couldnt care less. So what if he sees a little blood? The little perfect quidditch player? Is he going to cry? That boy has no idea about the reality of life. No idea about the cruelty- the abuse that his „brother“ went through. No idea what I went through!
We arrived at the lake. Its finally time. First i will kill the werewolf and then myself. This is the plan. Simple. Insane but simple. Foolproof if you will.
The werewolf didnt question why i had a knife with me. It noticed. But it seems even vile creatures like this know when they deserve to be punished. The golden boy didnt even notice. Of course he didnt.
You would think pulling the blade out of my coat wouldnt be a big thing. One move that i wasted no thought on. But its so different. It is the final decision. Yes, i went in this wanting to murder this… boy in front of me, but do i really want to? Is this really me? Am i just that, a murderer, looking down on others just like my parents do?
But my parents have no reason to hate. I do. This creature killed the only person who made life precious. Shredded him into pieces. And i will end its life in just the same way.
The first stab is the hardest, but that was to be expected. God, will it scream this loud the entire time? And that boy even- just shut up little James, please.
I removed its arm, seperated at the same place that his was. Now i am stapping his legs. Over and over, until it gets what it deserves. It wont ever be enough. Even as i add the finall injuries, i still dont feel satisfied. Its face is unrecognizable, his limbs clumbs of flesh and blood. The organs still seem to be moving weirdly. More blood is appearing with the second. Beautifull, red blood.
As i look at the boy standing next to me my frustration just grows. Why is he standing there crying? That monster just got what it deserved. He should be happy about this. Instead he is staring at me- at this thing barely enough to be called a corpse.
I hate him too. I hate everxthing. I hate the world that has made me who i am, the world that allowed such violence to find its way into its blood, where its now running through its veins besides the oxygen, just like rage is flowing through mine.
The last time is the easiest. And the fastest. Because killing the Potter boy isnt about revenge or punishment. Its to make the stare stop. Look, i didnt do anything wrong! I just wanted justice! There is no reason to judge me!
But there is...
I just stabbed him
In the heart
Ended his life in a fit of rage, because of a brain flooded with selfishness and ignorance to the real world.
*I* am the monster here
An Innocent person
Dead
Because of me.
I deserve to die just as the monster beside me.
Yet theres a little voice in the back of my head holds me back-
Sirius wouldnt have wanted this
Of course he wouldnt have! He wouldnt have wanted any of this! He wouldnt have wanted to die either! So who even cares anymore. It doesnt matter.
I will just go too.
Away from this dirty Werewolf
Away from the little boy i killed.
Away from my parents.
Away from this evil world.
And as i am falling, i ask myself if this was the right decision.
But it is too late, because the scream i let out as i saw sirius corpse that will ever be heard from the Black Brothers.