chapter 1 (2 + 2 = 5)
Teddy can feel something different that summer, he always been an observer.
it was hot that evening, he was sitted in the couch with a book in an hand, the pages turned by a spell are still, he wasn't really reading, his mind was wandering elsewhere, his toughts were trying to get comfort in the anonymous words, he was caressing james'hair and his shoulder was taken by a sleepy lily luna.
<<they're so quiet with you>>
His toughts were stopped by Andromeda walking by the room coughing a little painful <<the sun makes them sleepy>> he said refering to the two asleep, Andromeda just smiles and caresses their head, one by one.
Andromeda's smiles will be his favorite forever.
<<Where's Albus?>> <<he's not a big fan of physical conctact you know>> andromeda sits in the harmchair <<yeah i know>> and his book' pages started to turn again, he was reading this time.
He can tell his grandma isn't doing very well, she has her age now, and her difficulties are hard to manage with spells, even with magical or muggle doctors.
Even wizards can't excape death, who was surely counting all the years that last.
Teddy can't help but thinking about it.
He thinks about many things, he overthinks too much, not fun.
<<Are you okay sweetheart?>>
her voices arrives directly to his brain, he's like he opened his eyes after a while but he never closed them <<hm?>> the pages are still again <<im alright just>> he puts away the book <<i read too much>> he said, not fully convinced.
Andromeda knows Teddy, and she knows that from a few years something started to change, she can't tell what <<you sure?>> <<yes>>
it sounded like a lie.
Their eyes met, a silence full of truth falls on them, she opens her mouth to talk...
<<eddie>> james opened his eyes.
<<im right here>> he said, looking at him to not look at her.
Its always like this, they never talked about what was wrong with him, 'cause she knows that there's something wrong.
Andromeda does't want to leave him dealing with his problems alone, what if those could transform into things that are more dangerous?
Harry and Ginny have to deal with a pre-adolescent james, a jealous albus and a little lily luna, who is the "main" character of the potter-weasley family, she's the last arrived.
Andromeda tryes to be here for everyone, from Harry to Ron to the little lily who talks about why her doll's dresses dont fit her.
But teddy never talked much, not with her, either with Harry.
That thing started to worry them a lot.
Not that teddy hasn't a good relationship with them... but he never opens himself.
It just happens.
Albus came out his room <<im bored>>
<<we'll find something to do right now>> teddy says, lowering himself to his height, andromeda takes lily who's still sleeping while he finds something to do.
Then Ginny returns from work and so Harry, and the day continues on, normally, as aways.
But the air of changes is here, makig itself feel.
For somenone, things changed years ago, and for others it was all to see.
☆ ☆ ☆
<<we need to talk Andromeda>> Harry said sitting down
<<i know>>
He pulls out a letter, fancy paper, elegant handwriting and the unmistakable malfoy's signature.
<<don't open it.>> she takes a deep breath.
<<i don't want to know what they have to say...>>
<<I understad, but they want to know what to do with GImmauld place since Sirius left it to me and I gave it to you>>
<<i already said that im going to left it to Teddy>>
They stared at each other, knowing that the letters won't stop.
<<since the end of the war, my sister and his son tried to get closer to us too many times.>> she gets up and takes the letter <<I loved them once>> and burns it with a spell <<not anymore>>
Harry noods, understanding.
In the papers, Harry is isn't his legal dad, and if andromeda dies...
if andromeda dies him and the closest blood figure are forced to take care of him until the majority age.
She coughs so hard that she has to lean agains the wall, Harry goes to help her.
she has her age.
they all better remember that.
They looked in each other eyes, knowing in silence that the possiblities of andromeda's death are high.
☆ ☆ ☆
Beyond every other emotions he daily feels, the weird knowledge of something makes him anxious.
It was difficult to wake up that day, and the worst part is having to deal with himself.
hating the way he looks, there was something...wrong.
his perception of himself makes him feel weird.
He sights, used to that, but he decided to not give a fuck and standing in front of the mirror he just let the needle through his septum.
A spike of pure pain, sharp and fast passes through him sending sparks to his brain, he curses and insert the jewerly with a grimace of pain.
He looks at himself satisfied, with the remnants of pain in his body, takig a deep breath <<fuck>> he smiles.
he doesn't know why, that's better than every other form of feeling he tryed to experience to feel something.
He think he would be able to quit the lighter and the blade for a good while or forever, he found an alterative, he feels like he could just stop doing it from now on to eternity, thinking hes startig to reconize himself, and can live just writing to vent.
so he dries the blood and comes out the bathroom, the first thing is jame's face, kinda traumatized.
<<did it hurt?>>
<<its worth it>>
<<do you think mom and dad would be angry?>>
<<lets find out>> he said and smiled, james followed him with his mouth still open.
It was always like this, James is five year younger, but in everyone's mind teddy makes him grow faster.
Harry always pays attention to him not to go over the limit, but teddy does to, he worries about his influence on him.
<<Harry>> he calls him, looking at james <<yeah?>> he's rearrange some work papers, he breaths <<i did something>> james pushes him closer and Harry turns to look at him.
<<oh>> was the only reaction.
When the moment of shook passed they sitted down and checked that it will not infect and that its in the right position, Ginny scolded him of course, And so did andromeda and Harry.
But they didn't force him to take it off <<just... go to a piercer please... its dangerous>> he said, happy that he did not get hurt.
<<i want to see what the rest of the family will think>>
<<ah... we'll find out>>
it will be fun seeing him becoming himself, thought Andromeda, and she was right, when he showed it at family lunch it was quite fun seeing Molly get worried that he could become a gangstar, eerything looks fine again for everyone and all the intrusive toughs are hiden in a remote space in each mind...
but Malfoy's letters never stop until september.