“No, because, me and Cissa were way too young when we had sex for the first time.” Lucius laughed. “We were like fifteen and weren’t even together yet.”
“I thought she was dating Alice Longbottom, or I guess Alice Fortescue, that year?” Severus replied, playing with a blue pen. “And weren’t you doing that weird thing with Sirius Black?”
“Yeah, but I mean….I don’t know—everyone was fucking everyone.”
“I wasn’t.”
“Well, everyone else was….I remember you used to say you weren’t going to have sex until you were twenty, did that end up happening?”
“No.”
Lucius laughed again. “Yeah, I figured you would have sex before then. Who wants to wait two decades?”
“No, I mean, I still haven’t had sex.” Severus corrected.
“We’re twenty-seven!”
“So?”
“Everyone has had sex at this point.”
“Not me.”
“Why?”
“Why would I?”
“Because….I don’t know, dude. It’s fun and feels good and everyone does it.”
“Not everyone, not me.”
“But, why?”
“It’s disgusting.”
“No it’s not!” Lucius disagreed.
“I can’t imagine anything more disgusting, to be honest….It’s okay if you like it, but I would never, it’s just…no.”
“Why do you think it’s gross?”
“You’re literally just taking some of the dirtiest parts of your body and putting them in/on some of the dirtiest parts of another person's body. How isn’t that gross?”
“Well, yeah, but….It’s fun.”
“I can’t think of anyone who would want to do something so…icky…just because it’s fun.”
“I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t.” The blonde claimed. “....Well, except you….Are you sure you’re not just asexual?”
“Of course I’m not, I’m just autistic.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“....I don’t know, but there’s probably a connection….More autistics are asexual than allistics, and we’re more likely to be queer in general.”
“So you are asexual?”
“No.”
“But you said—”
“No!”
“Y’know, it’s okay to be asexual.” Lucius insisted.
“I know, but I’m not.”
Lucius sighed, realizing that there was no way he would be able to convince Severus to even consider being asexual. “Alright, then….But, if you change your mind, I’ll support you.”
“....Okay.”