“Autistic people are bad at empathy.”
Severus hated being around anyone feeling any sort of emotion, especially negative ones. Not because he was heartless as people so thought, especially back when he was a teacher, not because he thought emotions shouldn’t exist. Not even because it reminded him of his past pain.
Every angry word, every tear, every scream, he felt in his soul.
It hurt.
“Autistic people can’t understand love, let alone feel it.”
Severus had always been so bad at not falling for everyone who was nice to him. Maybe because of trauma, but he just couldn’t understand how people could hate humanity.
It wasn’t all romantic, not even just platonic. Some people he couldn't stand.
But, he loved their humanness; their existence.
Even when he didn’t want to.
“Autistic people don’t like sex; they’re too child-like.”
Severus wasn’t a fan of sex, but it had nothing to do with childishness, just asexuality. Even then, he had sex, sometimes.
Maybe not penetrative, definitely not penetrative, he hated the idea of something being inside of him. But sensual stuff, fully-clothed, the occasional hand/blow job….
That could be fun, with the right person. With Remus.
He was an adult and asexuality was a spectrum.
“Autistic people don’t feel emotions.”
Severus felt emotions, way too many emotions, way too strongly. PTSD, anxiety, and even depression made it worse, but autism certainly didn’t soothe anything.
Sometimes he wanted to turn his emotions off, so he could breathe for once. So he could go even one day without a meltdown or shutdown or panic attack.
But, he couldn’t. Nothing could make it stop for even a second.
Like a hurricane.
“Autistic people can’t communicate, especially not orally.”
Severus had way too many words in his brain, like a dictionary.
Like the dictionaries he read for fun as a pre-teen. He no longer knew where the joy came from, but it was there.
Now he almost regretted it.
Too many words, too many metaphors.
It felt like they were pouring out of his brain, like he needed to say every single one and if he didn’t he was…wrong.
They kept getting stuck.
He needed less words.
“Autistic people are….”
There is no such thing as a word that fits every autistic, a single idea. It wasn’t a personality type, a skill level, a singular identity.
Severus was autistic, but he had never seen himself in any sort of media.
He was more than a neurotypical, ableist, stereotype.