Warm

The door burst open.

Regulus raised an unimpressed eyebrow at his apparent company. “Can I help you?”

There, in the doorway, stood a maniacally grinning Peter Pettigrew, a flustered James Potter and a wickedly smirking Remus Lupin, the former of which was pointing at Regulus dramatically.

“You.” Peter said.

“Me?” Regulus repeated unphased. Living in Potter Manor had been a crash course in chaos and remaining unbothered in the face of it.

Peter stalked forward into the room, causing Remus to usher James in and shut the door.

“James is being useless so we need you to confirm – is he still a virgin or not?” Peter demanded to know.

Regulus smirked at his boyfriend. “You told them immediately? You really are alarmingly co-dependent.”

The man rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged sheepishly at that. “Yeah.”

Peter, meanwhile, was like a dog with a bone. “That doesn’t answer my fucking question Reggie-Poo!”

Regulus decided to have a little fun. He tilted his head, humming consideringly. “It depends on your perspective, I suppose.”

“See, that – that’s a shit answer.” Peter told him frustratedly.

Remus shrugged once. “Very vague. Please elaborate.”

“Both yes and no.” Regulus purred, lounging back in his seat.

“That is also a shit answer!” Peter threw up his hands.

“Try again.” Remus said.

“We orgasmed in each other’s presence.” Regulus drawled with a smug smirk. “If that’s what you wanted to know.”

James’s face flushed. “Regulus!”

Regulus stared his boyfriend down. “You know, you never struck me as the prudish type until I actually started flirting with you. But as it turns out, you have the constitution of an eighteenth-century maiden.”

“You came?!” Peter yelled grabbing hold of his friend’s shoulders. “Jamie I’m so proud of you!” He shook the man back and forth excitedly. “Moony, our boy’s all grown up! Jizzing with his boyfriend!”

Remus hummed in thought. “‘In each other’s presence’ isn’t inspiring confidence in me. I need more details.”

James looked like he wanted to melt into the ground beneath his feet. He shot Regulus a pleading look but the Slytherin was having far too much fun tormenting him. He was cute when he was embarrassed.

“I kept my hands above the belt with James. He kept his hands off altogether.” Regulus explained airily, a predatory gaze aimed right at James.

The other two visibly paused.

“Are we talking frottage?” Peter asked.

Regulus smirked wickedly, causing James to gulp. “No.”

“Untouched?” Remus asked, eyes wide.

“James is very sensitive.” The Slytherin told them blandly. James buried his face in his hands with a groan. It was incredibly entertaining. “I just tugged one out after.”

“Jamie!” Peter gasped delightedly.

Remus looked his friend up and down appraisingly, as if seeing him through new eyes. “Damn, Prongs.”

“Kill me, please.” His voice came out muffled by his hands.

“So, you still haven’t touched him?” Peter asked for confirmation.

“Not in the way you’re referring to.” Regulus drew his words out, examining his nails absently. “But what was it you said, James? ‘You touched me plenty.’”

“You’re evil.” James complained from behind his hands.

“You weren’t saying that last night.” Regulus quipped back teasingly. The man groaned again.

“So, where was the touching?” Remus cut in, mildly curious.

The Slytherin debated for a moment being honest and specific – to tell them about how he sucked his nipples and choked him as he came. But James might actually combust on the spot if he did, and Regulus didn’t actually want to make his boyfriend uncomfortable.

“That’s for me to know…” Regulus smirked instead. “…and everyone else to wonder enviously.”

James breathed a sigh of relief, dropping his hands.

“He’s still a flowery virgin?” Peter prompted, looking disappointed.

“In the traditional sense, yes.” Regulus shrugged elegantly. “I, myself, don’t particularly count it as sex, and consider the task of deflowering him still ahead of me.”

“Ugh.” Peter pulled a face.

“Baby steps, I suppose.” Remus nudged James teasingly.

“You’re enjoying this far too much.” James accused Regulus.

The Slytherin smirked at him in amusement. “If I don’t get your cock in me, I have to find my fun elsewhere.”

“I hate you.”

“Try again.”

“I love you but you’re mean.”

“Once more.”

James sighed in defeat. “I love you because you’re mean.”

Regulus nodded smugly. “That’s better.”

“How long ‘till you pop his cherry?” Peter asked with a sigh, causing the Slytherin to raise an eyebrow.

“You’re awfully invested.”

Peter shrugged. “I’m nosy, he’s my best friend, he’s the last virgin in our year in Gryffindor, I’m also heavily invested in your relationship after all those months of pining…” He listed. “Should I go on?”

Regulus nodded in amused understanding. “Two months, 1 week and 3 days. But who’s counting.”

“Certainly not you.” Remus chuckled at him.

Peter joined in. “I take it we won’t see him at all on your birthday.”

“It would be the whole weekend if I could convince him.” Regulus admitted mischievously.

James blinked dumbly. “You have plans? Aren’t I supposed to do that? You planned a date on my birthday!”

Regulus leaned forward deliberately. “For my birthday I want complete control.” He stated, voice and volume tantalisingly low. “Can you give me that James?”

The poor soul looked like a startled deer. Frozen in shock with wide eyes, he processed the words. “Regulus.”

“Come on, Sunshine.” He purred lasciviously. “Yes, or no?”

James choked on his own spit. “Y-yes.”

That caused a pleased smile to slide onto Regulus’s face. “Good boy.”

James shuddered.

“How the fuck have you two not buggered yet?” Peter cried out, bursting their bubble. “You’re already kinky!”

“It’s the spiritual slut in him, remember.” Remus responded in deadpan but he looked just as incredulous.

“There’s plenty else to do without cocks involved.” Regulus drawled playfully. “It just takes some… imagination.”

“I’m a weak, weak man.” James commented dazedly.

Regulus’s lip quirked approvingly. “Just how I like you.”

*

They were back at Hogwarts before long. Back into the swing of things.

OWLs were fast approaching for Regulus and the other Fifth-Years which meant a very pouty James when Regulus ignored him in favour of studying. (He would never admit he found it adorable.)

The Hufflepuff-Slytherin Quidditch game came and went quickly. Regulus caught the Snitch and brought his team a solid win. Heart-warmingly enough, Olly and Nicky came to watch, cheering for “Bug’s Bug!” as loudly as they could.

In other matters, life continued on in much the same oddly wonderful way. Monty and Effie both wrote him letters regularly. Monty even signed him up for a Potions Weekly subscription and discussed the articles at length in his letters after every issue was released. Regulus eagerly sent him a reply each time.

James and Regulus got closer with every day that passed. Barty and Evan were going strong. Dorcas and Marlene (he still called her Mckinnon to her face on principle) had an explosive row every single week that usually ended up with them stuffing their tongues down each other’s throats much too publicly to be decent. Evans (the name suited her better) and Mary (same as Marlene) evolved into a sweet relationship that Regulus got a front-row seat to – apparently, setting them up meant that both girls thought him the perfect candidate to gush to. It was quite nauseating but he may or may not have been using the opportunity to talk about James in return. Emmeline and Peter continued to be little shits together and Remus continued to date Regulus’s brother for some unknown reason. The lesser Prewett was still pursuing poor Bianca Green and the better Prewett was still enamoured with an equally smitten Fenwick. Pandora even started crushing on an older Ravenclaw named Xylophone or Glockenspiel or something.

Their friend groups seemed to merge and Regulus found himself surrounded by a large group of people who cared about him and who he cared about in turn.

They even held their own set of small Quidditch matches one Sunday afternoon – mixed teams of different houses playing together. The first game, Regulus and James were on the same team and they smashed the opposition so thoroughly that James was kicked out altogether and forced to referee instead. The people-pleasing easy-going twit didn’t seem to mind much at all. Regulus found himself playing on the same side as people like Marlene, the better Prewett and Amelia Bones. It was quite brilliant actually.

Best of all, James, Evan and Barty seemed to have evolved towards a brotherly sort of banter (well, other than B’s flirting). Between this and James’s parents, Regulus finally had the feeling of family he’d always craved.

In general, life was excellent. Truly, it was so breathtakingly wonderful that Regulus found it hard to believe that this was his life.

Of course, that’s when things started to go wrong.

He was making his way out of the Great Hall hand in hand with James – he had big plans to drag his boyfriend off somewhere for a good snog; he certainly deserved the treat for himself after all the revision he had done today.

That’s when they came upon the commotion.

A few Slytherin Sixth and Seventh-Years were standing boldly with their wands pointed right at a small group of terrified-looking firsties. Hufflepuffs. Probably Muggleborns, given the malicious sneers on his housemates’ faces.

“Fucking filthy Mudbloods! How dare you come near me!” Avery spat, causing the kids to flinch.

Ah, definitely Muggleborns then.

“Come on, we can take the South Corridor instead.” Regulus murmured, tugging on James’s hand. The man didn’t budge.

“We can’t just leave.” James said incredulously, eyes glued to the scene. “They need help.”

“I’ll show you your place, scum!” Mulciber piled on tauntingly.

Regulus didn’t like watching scenes like this – with all the yelling and the cursing, it reminded him of his Mother too much. And besides, he had seen his housemates get like this a hundred times before. It wasn’t his problem. If he just kept his head down and stayed out of the way, they wouldn’t turn on him. And if he got James out of there, the Gryffindor wouldn’t get hurt either.

“Let someone else help.” Regulus cajoled, rubbing the back of James’s hand with his thumb. “I have plans for you right now.”

This caused the Gryffindor to frown at him displeased. That wasn’t a good sign.

“You’re a Prefect! Isn’t it your job to step in?”

Regulus frowned right back. “And throw myself into the fray? That would be reckless and stupid – Avery and Mulciber and that lot are god-awful, yes, but I do actually live down the hall from them. I’m not getting involved.”

James was looking at him like he didn’t recognise him. Regulus wasn’t sure why. Couldn’t he see how stupid it would be to get involved? How dangerous? It wasn’t like it was kids they knew either – why would they put themselves at risk for complete strangers?

“So, you’d let kids suffer to save your own skin?” Marlene cut in derisively. “Come on, Cas, let’s fuck them up!”

Without checking to see if her girlfriend was following, the blonde strode forward, getting her wand out.

Dorcas didn’t follow.

James did.

So did the rest of the Gryffindor Sixth-Years, other than Peter who ran off to call a Professor after exchanging a quick look with Remus.

“Back off, you arseholes, or I’ll make you!” Marlene yelled harshly as she brandished her wand. Sirius and Remus stepped up to join her, wands also out.

“Oh, great! Blood-traitors and Half-breeds to add to the mix!” Pucey glared nastily.

“Expelliarmus!” Remus cried before anyone could get any more words in. Pucey’s wand came sailing over and Remus caught it smoothly.

That started a whole volley of spells being thrown backwards and forwards. There were four Slytherins left with wands and the three Gryffindors duelled them fiercely. Curses and shields flying up in bright flashes of light.

James, meanwhile, didn’t waste time going straight over to the first years, shielding them with a strong Protego, as well as his own body. Evans was quick to join him and usher them as far out of shooting range as the cramped corridor allowed. The two immediately began assessing the damage while offering the frightened kids words of reassurance. Meanwhile, Mary quickly turned to crowd control, forcing anyone and everyone back so that no rogue spells hit anyone.

It was a startling reminder of the scene Regulus had witnessed all those months ago at the beginning of the year. The day that Regulus had decided to exact revenge on his brother and steal the things he held most dear.

Now, though, Regulus had James.

Now, these noble, righteous, reckless Gryffindors were his friends.

Now, he had abandoned his plan and embraced a life of warmth that made the coldness of his old revenge plot seem… trivial.

Now, Barty charged in to join the fray.

“Room for one more?” The Slytherin grinned manically, shooting a curse right at Avery, which the other boy narrowly avoided.

“Nice one, Crouch!” Marlene shouted.

“Rosier, cover that end, would you?” Mary called over the commotion, and Regulus noticed with surprise that Evan had joined her in crowd-control.

“Got it!” He called back.

“What the fuck are they doing?” Emmeline watched them in alarm.

“Helping.” Pandora said firmly. “And I will too.” With that she moved to join the fray.

Dorcas tried to stop her. “Wait! You’re going to get yourself hurt!”

The Ravenclaw just wrenched her arm free and rushed over to join Evan.

“Fuck.” Regulus swore, as he watched a spell almost hit Barty.

The spells were firing so fast now that his head spun and Regulus felt frozen to the spot, staring in horror as the people he loved threw themselves into danger. Regulus stared at the righteous determination on Sirius’s face and remembered, unbidden, how often he’d seen that expression right before their Mother uttered the word ‘Crucio’.

“They’re going to end up in the hospital wing.” Emmeline breathed in equal horror.

A spell almost hit Remus.

“And get detentions for life.” Dorcas added, her face pinched with worry.

Marlene almost got hit by a jinx of some kind.

“This is so stupid.” Regulus found himself saying, his heart pounding out of his chest. “They’re fucking idiots.”

A curse smashed against James’s shield, shattering it an instant. Regulus’s heart dropped to his stomach but the man just quickly threw up another one.

“Salazar.” Dorcas breathed, looking rooted to the spot. Regulus felt the same way.

And then, Barty got hit.

It was almost as if time slowed down as he fell to the floor like a limp ragdoll. Regulus’s blood turned to ice. It was like someone had cut Barty’s strings.

Evan roared in fury, turning to join the fight as Pandora took up his spot. He shot spell after spell in an enraged fervour.

“Oh my god!” Emmeline screeched, putting a hand over her mouth.

Regulus didn’t know what to do. He felt like his whole body was shutting down. He couldn’t just…

“That is enough!” Professor McGonagall’s voice cut through the chaos. A small horde of teachers followed behind her and immediately started breaking up the fight.

Regulus watched in a detached daze as Barty and the firsties were ushered off to the hospital wing, Evan carrying his boyfriend in his arms instead of letting anyone levitate him. James and Evans stuck with the kids, letting them cling to them and cry all over them without a fuss.

The remaining participants were left to explain, and with so many witnesses, it was immediately clear that Mulciber, Avery and their crew were in deep shit. The Professors herded them up to the Headmaster’s office while telling everyone else to go to their dormitories at once.

Regulus snapped back into his body momentarily and tried to protest.

“I need to go see Barty! He’s my best friend! He’s my brother!” He told Professor Slughorn in a passionate whisper.

The man didn’t listen.

Regulus’s feet carried him to the dungeons and he numbly crawled into bed for a sleepless night.

He felt cold for the first time in months.

He wasn’t used to it anymore.

*

Regulus was allowed to visit the Hospital Wing in the morning. When he arrived, he found Effie and Monty sitting by Barty’s bedside while Evan was clinging to his sleeping boyfriend with a fierce expression on his face, daring Madame Pomfrey to send him away.

“You have classes to get to, Mr Rosier.” The Mediwitch was saying. “I can assure you; Mr Crouch will be just fine under my care while you’re gone.”

“You tried to use a Reparifors on him!” Evan argued emphatically. “Like hell I’m leaving him alone.”

The woman pursed her lips. “Had I known he was spell-averse to that incantation I wouldn’t have tried.”

“Exactly!” Evan glared, stone-faced. “You don’t know shit about him. But I do.”

“Poppy, dear.” Effie cut in calmly. “I think it might be best to let him stay. I’ll take full responsibility as their guardians.”

Evan’s eyes flicked to her momentarily in pleasant surprise for the support. It was subtle enough that no-one else probably caught it.

The Mediwitch sighed in defeat. “Very well then. But I must insist that I be allowed to treat Mr Crouch – he’ll need to take a Restorative Draught when he wakes up.”

“Murtlap not Mandrake.” Evan insisted firmly. “B always swears by it.” He swallowed thickly. “And he knows what he’s talking about. He wants to be a Healer.”

Madame Pomfrey softened a touch. “Murtlap-based it is.”

Regulus took the opportunity to step in. Evan noticed him first.

“And where the fuck have you been?” The blond snarled viciously.

Regulus looked him in the eye. “Slughorn wouldn’t let me come.”

Evan’s face twisted unhappily. “Excuses.”

“Number?” Regulus asked despite his friend’s ire. He was too desperate to know.

Evan sucked in a breath angrily. Still: “Three-point-five. Recovery: Two. He would be awake if he wasn’t under a potion right now.”

Regulus felt relief flood his body. They had come up with the number system years ago to tell each other how bad injuries actually were. Those numbers were definitely low.

“Thank Merlin.”

“Thank me.” Evan corrected. “She tried to give him a Reparifors! Can you fucking believe it?”

The Mediwitch blew out a frustrated breath at that and walked away, presumably to get the Murtlap potion.

Regulus, meanwhile, took that for the begrudging forgiveness it was. He walked closer to Barty’s bed.

“You used a Sananunca instead, right?”

The blond scoffed derisively. “You think I’m an amateur?”

“Never.” Regulus hesitantly reached a hand out to grasp Barty’s. “You better fucking wake up soon or Ev’s going to go insane.” He told his sleeping friend.

“He’s going to be just fine, dear.” Effie placed a comforting hand on Regulus’s shoulder.

“The sleeping draught should wear off within the hour.” Monty informed him.

“Of course, he’ll be fine.” Evan said, cuddling closer to Barty. “He’s B.”

Regulus met the blond’s eyes and an understanding passed between them.

“Effie, can you talk to Slughorn?” Evan asked after a moment. “Reg is mine and B’s family, he should have been allowed to come.”

Regulus had definitely been forgiven then. He gave Evan a thankful nod.

“Of course.” She answered right away, her voice watery. “First chance I get.”

*

Barty did indeed wake up soon. Effie and Monty immediately began fussing, not a reprimand in sight for getting into a fight, and Barty didn’t even pretend not to enjoy Effie’s hugs. They were called away to discuss some things with the Professors, though, and that’s when James showed up.

“Hey, Junior.” He called softly as he strolled right up to the bed. “Doing okay?”

“I could go a few rounds right now, Jimmy.” Barty answered suggestively with an exaggerated wink.

“Well, that’s definitely a good sign.” James chuckled, before holding out a slice of cake on a small plate. “Here, lemon drizzle – your favourite, right?”

“Oo!” Barty made grabby hands, taking it eagerly. “I should get knocked out more often if it makes you bring me cake in bed.”

“No.” Evan said firmly looking not at all pleased by that idea.

“Please don’t.” James was trying to bite back an amused smirk. Then his expression sobered. “Look, these days I’m generally of the opinion that violence isn’t the answer, but… thanks for stepping in to help.” He looked at Evan next. “Both of you.”

He was carefully not looking at Regulus. Not acknowledging him at all actually. Both Evan and Barty looked between them in concern for a second before refocusing on James.

The blond gave a meaningful nod while the brunet quirked his lips. “Couldn’t let you Gryffindorks have all the fun.”

James smiled reluctantly back. “You get in trouble?”

“Two weeks detention each.” Evan answered while Barty pouted alongside him. “You?”

The Gryffindor shook his head. “The only spell I cast was Protego so they let me off. Only Marlene, Sirius and Remus really got in trouble for fighting. Same punishment as you.”

Barty sighed dramatically. “This is what I get for being a hero.”

“This is what you get for jumping into a fight that wasn’t yours.” His boyfriend corrected.

“Wait, why did you get in trouble then? You weren’t fighting.”

James smirked then. “He jumped in the second you went down.”

Barty’s jaw dropped and his eyes lit up. “You jumped in after me? My avenging angel! Salazar, you do love me!”

“Against my better fucking judgement.”

Barty kissed him soundly. “Next time, join in earlier – I want to fight next to you. I bet it’d be hot to see.”

At this, James finally turned to Regulus. “Can we… talk?”

Regulus’s heart started beating out of his chest but he nodded anyway. James led them away to another bed and pulled a curtain around for some semblance of privacy. There were a few moments of silence between them as James awkwardly settled onto the edge of the empty bed.

“I don’t get it.” James said eventually, studying Regulus’s face intently.

“Don’t get what?” The Slytherin’s stomach churned nervously as he regarded his boyfriend.

“You didn’t help.” James stated, his tone strangely blank. It made Regulus’s skin crawl. “You didn’t want to help.”

“So?”

“So, why?” James was frowning now, his eyes still boring right into Regulus.

“Because I’m not a righteous bloody Gryffindor with a saviour complex.” The Slytherin sneered and oh fuck. Why did he say that? He was making this so much worse.

Luckily, James was more than used to him by now and didn’t let Regulus rile him up. “You don’t have to be a Gryffindor to help others in a situation like that.” He countered calmly.

“What like Barty? He ended up in the bloody hospital wing! And now he’s going to have a fucking target on his back in Slytherin!” Regulus argued coldly, his voice raising by the minute. Fuck. Why couldn’t he stop?

“There are other ways to help than getting in a fight.” James said and he was using his peacekeeper tone – the same one Regulus had seen him use on his brother countless times. But never on Regulus. Not until now.

“Like what?” Regulus scoffed derisively. Unable to stop himself. “Play nurse-maid to some firsties? Run and play snitch to some teachers?”

“Those are some options.” James answered and he was still so bloody calm. It was unnerving. It was starting to get under Regulus’s skin. Where was the Gryffindor fire he so often saw from others?

“Why the fuck should I care what happens to strangers?” Regulus spat nastily, trying to get a reaction. “It hasn’t got shit to do with me and I’m not putting myself at risk for people I don’t bloody know!”

“Regulus…” He was still fucking calm.

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?” Regulus shouted finally because he couldn’t help it. “Fucking yell at me!”

James couldn’t hide his emotions at that. Sadness clouded his features and Regulus wasn’t satisfied at all with the reaction he had caused. Salazar, that was even worse than the calm.

“I’m not going to yell at you. I’m never going to yell at you again if I can help it.”

Regulus didn’t know how to respond to that. His Mother always yelled. Sirius always yelled. Hell, even Barty always yelled.

He stayed silent as he watched James watch him.

“I don’t understand.” James whispered now. He was staring at Regulus like the answers to his questions might pop up on his skin. “I know that you do care, even if you pretend you don’t.”

“That’s not who I am, James.” Regulus wished he could shut up but the words just kept coming. “I thought you knew I’m cold and I’m cruel.”

“You’re also kind and brave.” James breathed, reaching out to take Regulus’s hands in his own. The Slytherin didn’t stop him. “I’ve seen it up close.”

Regulus clenched his jaw as his heart fluttered. “With you, maybe. But with strangers…?”

“Maybe because you’ve spent so long hiding, you don’t know how.” James squeezed his hands, eyes full of hope. “But you can do whatever you want now.”

“Apparently not if you’re telling me what to do.”

James’s expression flickered with hurt but he didn’t back down or step away. “I’m not telling you what to do. I’m just…” He struggled for words, bringing Regulus’s hands up to his mouth and kissing each of them lightly. “I think I wish you would show the world what I see when I look at you. Show them that you care.”

Regulus’s heart constricted like it was being squeezed in James’s hand and a lump formed in his throat.

“What if I don’t care?”

“You care.” James said surely. “You’ve just trained yourself to think you don’t because it was easier that way. Before.”

Regulus felt like he’d been stripped naked. How the fuck…?

“I’m sorry.” James said next and Regulus couldn’t fathom why he was apologising. “I get it now. This is hard for you.”

“What are you talking about?” Regulus felt like he’d gotten lost in this conversation somewhere along the way.

“I’m disappointed.” James told him and Regulus heart dropped to his stomach. “And I’m upset you didn’t help. But I get why. And I think that you did want to help secretly, but you’ve had years of conditioning yourself to behave in certain ways, so it’ll be a process for you to learn how you actually want to respond in situations like that.”

Regulus felt like James’s words flayed him alive, leaving his vulnerable guts spilling out into the open.

“James…”

“I know this might be unfair of me to ask, Regulus,” James began, “but the next time something like that happens, I would really like it if you thought about what you really want to do. And if possible… do it.” James had such incredible optimism and hope in his eyes that it made it hard for Regulus to breathe. “I know it would be scary but I really have faith in you.”

Regulus felt like James was reaching into his body and caressing his very soul. Like the man in front of him had just bypassed all his defences and found his way straight to Regulus’s soft middle. He didn’t know how to react. Didn’t know if he could even do what James was asking of him.

“Why couldn’t you just be mad and fight with me like a normal person?” He said eventually.

James squeezed his hands again and dropped them into his own lap, smiling slightly. “I’m not mad. I’m upset like I said, but I don’t want to fight with you. We can communicate like adults if we try.”

Regulus stared at him. “I don’t understand you sometimes. Anyone else would have yelled at me.”

“I yelled at you on the train after you first kissed me and I hated myself for it after.” James admitted. “I saw the way you just shut down and it hurt my heart.”

There was a pause.

Regulus did have a tendency of shutting down when things got messy and loud. He decided to try his damn best not to do that with James. To try and be honest and ‘communicate like adults’. For James.

“I didn’t want to say all those things just now.” Regulus confided. “They just came out. I’m sorry.”

His boyfriend tugged him in by his hands gently so that Regulus stood between his parted legs. “It’s fine. I forgive you. And I know you. In a way you were kind of right – I know you can be cold and cruel when you want to be but it’s not… I don’t know how to word this… It doesn’t bother me? Well, it does. I just…” He sighed, frowning in thought. “I don’t think there are many things you could say to me that I wouldn’t forgive you for.” He settled on eventually. “And I feel like I can tell when you really mean things and when you don’t.”

Then, he actually smiled up at Regulus. “Actually, that’s one of the reasons I think this can work for us. You can say mean things and I can stay as calm as possible and we can talk it all out. Mature conflict-resolution. Like adults.”

Regulus just looked at him in awe.

“You’re so perfect.”

“I’m not.” He denied. “But I’m trying really hard for you.” He bit his lip a tad. “I really want this to work.”

Salazar, it never occurred to Regulus that James might be putting so much work into trying to be a good boyfriend. He just assumed these things came easy to the Golden Boy. He should have known that wasn’t the case – James was perfect to Regulus but he wasn’t perfect in the ways he so often pretended to be.

“I’ll try.” Regulus told him then. “Next time, I’ll try to do what you said. Think about it. And maybe help.”

James smiled and squeezed his hands again. “I’m not asking you to change who you are, I just really want to see you be true to yourself. I think you’ll like that person.”

“You’re so optimistic.”

The Gryffindor shrugged. “That’s the person I am. And I think you like that.”

“I do.” Regulus told him. “I really do.”

There was a relieved and comfortable silence between them for a few moments.

“Just a warning.” James said, playing with their joined fingers. “Marlene is fuming. At Dorcas mostly. She was raging through most of the night.”

Regulus winced. “That’s not going to be pretty.”

“I’ll try and talk to her, now that I feel like I have a better idea of your perspective which is probably similar to Dorcas’s.” James replied. “But yeah.”

“And Peter?”

“He’ll be more understanding I reckon.” James told him. “He might fight with Emmeline for a bit but they’ll work it out, I’m sure.”

Regulus dropped a kiss onto James’s forehead. “I wouldn’t have pegged us as the quickest to resolve things.”

“I would.” Regulus could hear the cheeky smile in his tone. “We’re the best.”

The Slytherin pulled back to look at him seriously. “We’ve been in a bit of a honeymoon phase, haven’t we?”

James bit his lip. “Yeah.”

“It’s going to take time for me to… unlearn certain things.”

“I can be patient.” James assured him. “We said we’d learn together, remember?”

“I’ll be mean.” Regulus said emphatically. “Meaner than you’re used to. And I’ll push you away and make mistakes and stomp on your heart.”

“I’ll never leave you.” James vowed foolishly, seeing right to the heart of Regulus’s fears straight away and soothing them with his warm balm. “I’ll love you forever and I’ll never run away from you again.”

“That’s a stupid promise to make.” Regulus whispered, sheer indefinable emotion leaking into his voice. “I’m a horrible person.”

“You’re a good person.” James denied. “You’re also a flawed person. They’re not mutually exclusive.”

“I’m going to hurt you one day.” Regulus breathed, barely audible. He could feel that it was true down in his bones.

“Then I’ll be hurt.” James whispered back without a shred of hesitation. “You’ll just have to help me heal after.”

Regulus couldn’t believe him. “How will you be able to trust me with your heart when you’ll know I’m the one who smashed it to pieces?”

“Because I’ll love you even then.”

“What if love isn’t enough?” Regulus asked, fear creeping into his tone.

“It isn’t.” James told him quietly. “But I choose you. You choose me. As long as we continue to do that, we’ll be fine.”

Regulus kissed him then, unable to form a response to that. He tried to pour all his emotions and unspoken words into James. James who seemed to take everything Regulus threw at him with open arms. James who could handle him at his best and promised to stay at his worst. James who saw right to his core and loved him because of it, not in spite of it.

“I love you.” Regulus mumbled into his mouth.

“I love you too.” James muttered right back. “Always.”

Regulus tried to believe him.