luceat lux vestra
12. December 2016
After the incident with Sirius’ birthday, they had all sworn to themselves that they would never forget a birthday ever again. In order to do that the boys had to firstly tell each other when they were born. The youngest one was James, being born on the 27th of March 2005, after that came Remus as he was born on the 10th of March 2005. The oldest one was Sirius with being born on the 3rd of November 2004. Second oldest was Peter with being born on the 13th of December. Which was tomorrow.
Sirius, James and Remus had been trying to figure out a plan for Peters birthday for days, even weeks. The boys were beyond desperate because they just couldn’t figure something out that was Peter-worthy. But then Remus came up with something so simple but yet so brilliant. A prank. Not against Peter of course, but something great. Something exceptional.
Lastly James had come up with the final idea: charming the armours and statues all around the castle to sing his favourite song. Peter had told Remus about his obsession with muggle movies and shows in a lesson once, so Remus knew that his all-time favourite was “A Monster in Paris”. He also liked the featured song: “La Seine and I”.
But somehow this just wasn’t enough.
As they were in the library, Peter was currently still sleeping peacefully in his bed, researching for a possible spell that would be able to make the statues sing James suddenly came up with something in addition.
“What if we would grow flowers? Peter likes flowers.”
And yes, this was perfect. Peter loved movies and flowers. Especially white lilies.
So, James and Sirius continued to search for a spell that could make the statues sing and Remus worked on the spell that would grow flowers.
Despite everything, Sirius was the one who put the most effort into this as he wanted Peter to experience a just as fantastic birthday as he had. And Merlin knew Peter deserved it. The two of them talked sometimes over a good game of chess. Peter knew about Sirius’ strong hate to his parents and their views of the world. Peter knew that his brother, Regulus, didn’t support their parents’ beliefs but didn’t dare to speak up to them. Not like Sirius did. Despite that Sirius had only ever told Remus about his scars, and that only for one weak evening. They hadn’t talked about it much which was fine with Sirius. He didn’t need Remus to know everything about him.
But Sirius also knew from Peter. That his older sister was a squib and his parents often fought about her. He knew that Peter hated it to scream or even raise his voice at someone because it reminded him of his parents. Sirius’ parents on the other hand had never screamed at him. When the punishments came, and they always did, they were silent. He didn’t know what was worse the silence or the possible screaming. He might find out over the winter holidays. Sirius was already dreading it, but he knew that he couldn’t tell anyone about it. They would take him away from Grimmauld Place 12 and he couldn’t bear that. Not if that would mean leaving his brother behind.
13. December 2016
To say that Peter was beyond excited for his birthday would be a great underestimation. Ever since Sirius’ birthday he had been looking forward to his. To see how the others cared about each other and really put in effort to make him happy made Peter realize something. When was the last time someone had done something like that for him? He couldn’t remember. Ever since his sister, Abby, had turned out to be a squib, his parents always fought. His Ma, a muggle, had insisted that everything would be fine and that they didn’t need to worry because she could live a happy life without magic but Peters Pa, a wizard, had seen this differently. Sometimes when it’s just Peter alone in silence he can still hear them scream. He was so used to sleeping with a constant faint noise that if it wasn’t for Sirius’ snoring Peter wasn’t sure if he could sleep. His parents just didn’t care anymore. The last time he had really celebrated his birthday, with candles, presents and real gifts, was almost five years ago. His sister had been sent away to his grandma as Peter got the letter from Hogwarts. He hadn’t received much mail from his family.
All the more excited was Peter as the others had snuck away yesterday morning, whispering about some surprise for his birthday. Peter couldn’t help but think that those boys were more of a family than his biological ever was.
As the chubby, blonde-haired boy woke up this morning everything was normal. It was like every day since the four of them had lived together in that dorm. Remus dishevelled locks and tired eyes, James’ fumbling for the glasses on his nightstand and Sirius’ faint snoring because he never wakes up on time were just part of Peters morning routine by now. Deciding that as it was his birthday and Sirius probably wasn’t allowed to kill him if he would wake him up, Peter just decided to fuck it. He stood up and went to the bathroom, still in his pyjamas, to grab his toothbrush cup and fill it with water. Now standing in front of Sirius’ bed Peter didn’t doubt himself for a second. He just plain and simply turned his wrist and let the water flow from his cup into Sirius’ face.
“AAAAHHHHH! WHAT IN MERLINS HAIRY BULLOCKS-?!”
Peter just leaned in very closely and whispered with a manic smile: “Good morning, starshine. The earth says hello.”
And then he made a run for it. Bolting out of the dorm door and running down the stairs to the common room with a furious (and wet) Sirius chasing after him. Remus and James were completely losing it as they saw how Sirius chased Peter around the common room and relished in the way some of the older students stared at them as if they suddenly turned into purple cows that wanted to eat all students’ pointy hats.
“NO ONE, AND I REPEAT: NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO TOUCH, SMELL OR WET MY BLOODY HAIR! DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU LITTLE RAT?”
“Maybe we should step in, Remus.”
“No, no. I want to see who wins.”
After a few minutes, an incident involving even more water and a furious McGonagall, the boys were finally allowed to go to breakfast. As all of them were sat huddled close together, Remus realized that with the rather distracting events just barely an hour ago, none of them had congratulated Peter. But deciding that just simply wishing him a happy birthday wouldn’t be enough. So, he made a big show out of it.
“Hey, hey! Psst. Come a bit closer everyone.”, Three curious faces inched closer to Remus,” No, I said closer.”
“What?”
Remus leaned in close to Peter and turned to whisper in his ear: “Happy Birthday, Pete. But don’t tell the other two. Make it out to be something much more secretive. You and me against them.”
At that Peters eyes grew comically large. He drew in a sharp breath and looked at Remus in shock. Fantastic! He was playing along. Leave it to Peter to be the best actor of them. He could secretly plan their murders and they would never know until it was too late.
“No, he did not!”, Peter gasped in shock.
“Yes, he did.”, Remus answered with a large grin.
“Who did what? Was it that greasy git Severus?”, James just couldn’t resist an opportunity to blame the other first-year.
“If you want me to tell you, you’re going to have to come a bit closer mate.”, Remus threw back with a plan already forming in his mind.
James and Sirius moved almost in sync. Their minds, despite only knowing each other for about four months, having adapted to the others. It was always ‘James and Sirius’ as if they were a unit, as if they were the same mind split into two bodies. And they were just that, weren’t they? Two people that found each other to build a relationship, something that goes beyond simple platonic or romantic feelings. James and Sirius were bound to be something greater than that. They were like brothers, except for the part where they weren’t at all. Relationships to siblings are often stained by the constant need to prove themselves to their parents. Brothers often share the same blood and history but only a fool would assume that brothers could only be found within the same heritage. In many ways friends are more of a family than the people who share the same blood. James and Sirius were the living proof that friendship was thicker than blood.
“So, what now, Remus?”
“Come on tell us!”
Remus put on the best slimy grin he could manage. The one he had seen the other boys at the orphanage do when they wanted to get out of trouble by flirting with the young staff woman who, Remus had learned one summer, was not at all interested in any male companionship. Especially not from thirteen-year-old boys who thought moaning in random situations was high peak comedy.
“I cannot believe that”, he made an extra dramatic pause, “Peters best mates haven’t wished him the best ‘Happy Birthday’ in the history of Happy Birthdays yet. Merlin, it’s already breakfast lads!”
“You’re unbelievable!”
“No, I’m Remus.”
‘The ultimate Birthday-Prank’ as Sirius had called it, was supposed to happen in Herbology. After the awful name Remus and James had to revoke Sirius’ privilege to name things. But nevertheless, the idea and location were perfect! Herbology was held in a Greenhouse which close to the outside where the flowers could fly unhindered, and the music would have beautiful ring to it as it echoed from the dark forests and deserted mountains of England. Furthermore, Professor Sprout wasn’t overly strict. She surely wouldn’t give them detention granted the special occasion. They could play it down to being a minor incident and the power of friendship and all that. As Remus glanced at his friends, all covered in dirt and mud from trying to plant a little magical flower whose name Remus had already forgotten again, he thought that maybe being in a posh private school wasn’t as bad as he thought after all.
Just as the clock struck twelve-thirty it all began. It started innocent enough with a faint hum of words.
“She's resplendent, so confident
La Seine, La Seine, La Seine
I realize, I'm hypnotized
La Seine, La Seine, La Seine”
The first head to turn was Lily Evans’. Her flaming locks of auburn hair swooshing around her shoulders and curious glance in her clever eyes.
“I hear the moon singing a tune
La Seine, La Seine, La Seine
Is she divine, Is it the wine
La Seine, La Seine, La Seine”
More heads stared to turn in the direction of the steadily louder growing music, catching the attention of most people in the greenhouse, including Peters and Professor Sprouts.
“I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why
That's how we are, La Seine and I
I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why
That's how we are, La Seine and I”
At this point most students of Hufflepuff and Gryffindor alike had completely forgotten the lesson and flocked to the source of music like moths to light. Although Pomona Sprout as a Professor was supposed to keep the students in her class and probably broke a few school restrictions by just letting them go, had too much of a curious nature to just ignore the suddenly flying flowers in her Greenhouse.
“I feel alive when I'm beside
La Seine, La Seine, La Seine
From this angle like an angel
La Seine, La Seine, La Seine”
Peter Pettigrew was surrounded by his three best mates as he watched hundreds of thousands of white lilies dance through the air like the most fragile ballerinas he had ever seen in his life. His jaw was practically on the floor as he realized that all of this was for him. Remus knew he loved this movie and the song; James knew for his passion of flowers and Sirius knew how important all of this was for him.
It was already December, and it hadn’t snowed yet which was very unusual for the normally rainy and cloudy Britain. Nobody should have been surprised that the first flakes were to fall right at this moment. The first snow-white flake landed directly on top of Peters nose. Pretty soon after that the dancing flowers in the sky were accompanied by snowflakes that covered the grass-green meadows, dark trees and joyful children in a white dress of frozen water.
“I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why
That's how we are, La Seine and I
I don't know, don't know, so don't ask me why
That's how we are, La Seine and I”
As Sirius and James were laughing and spinning in the light downfall of snowflakes and stuck out their tongues like most of the other students (and one certain Professor), Remus stood next to Peter and whispered, as he watched James and Sirius, in a fond, almost adoring tone: “Happy Birthday Pete. You are granted one wish.”
“Upon the bridge
My heart does beat
Between the waves
We will be saved
The air we breathe
Can you believe?
Learn to forgive upon the bridge”
As the music went on Peter wished for nothing more than to ever stay young like this. He never wanted to lose what he had in this moment.
“That's how we are, La Seine and I
That's how we are, La Seine and I
That's how we are, La Seine and I
That's how we are, La Seine and I”
24. December 2016
Hogwarts has always been quiet around the winter holidays. Empty hallways, classrooms and silence was most common in this time. Almost the entire student-body of Hogwarts was at home around this time of the year, some of them were celebrating Christmas and some not. The few remaining Professors mostly kept to themselves and were hardly seen around the castle anymore. It was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand the around ten remaining students were left alone and could just mind their business but on the other hand it got pretty lonely. A certain boy covered in scars had developed the habit of borrowing books from the library and reading them all around the castle. His favourite spot was the Astronomy tower where he could simultaneously read and watch over the grounds of Hogwarts. He had taken into consideration to visit Hagrid’s Hut sometime but decided against it. He would probably just annoy the man.
Remus Lupin knew that most people thought of Christmas as the morning of the 25th but he didn’t. For the Lupin Family Christmas had always been the 24th. Remus remembered his mother’s home-made cookies, the way his father had arranged the electronic candles at the branches of the tree and the traditional rabbit with potatoes, brown sauce and red cabbage for dinner. If Remus really concentrated, he could still smell the cheap store-bought stollen his mother had adored so much when he was younger.
Did she still eat it every Christmas? Did she still think about him?
The 24th went by in a slow and torturous pace. While Remus knew he was not to expect any letters as his friends all thought he was in Germany with his small and happy family, he still couldn’t help but feel a bit lost. Although Remus was used to spending all important holidays, birthdays and celebrations alone, but he thought that at least this had changed since arriving at Hogwarts. He was wrong.
For the first time in about six years the tears ran freely down Remus’ cheeks as he laid in his bed that night. The only thing louder than the boys’ pain were the heavy raindrops clattering against the fragile glass of their dorm windows and the howling wind tugging at its wooden frame.
25. December 2016
Waking up felt somehow worse than crying the night before. Remus’ eyes were sticky and still a bit puffed while his throat felt very dry. The first drop of cold water that touched his tongue felt like heaven, like he was a man dying of thirst having found an ocean full of clean and crystal-blue water.
As Remus walked down the stairs and into the common room, he didn’t expect to see little presents underneath the freshly decorated Christmas tree. And least of all he expected two of them to have his name written on them.