Solitarius Lupus

31. August 2016, Diagon Alley

As soon as Remus agreed to Dumbledores offer, the headmaster visited the orphanage again to give him a short crash course on magic, wizards, and witches.
Dumbledore explained that the school already supplied him the necessary equipment for his first year, everything except his wand which he would have to get professionally sorted out.

But before they were ready to leave Remus remembered one of the thousand questions that formed themselves in his head the night before. “Mr. Dumbledore? What about my…condition? Are you sure you can keep me from hurting anyone?” Remus had already killed his father with his weirdness, he certainly didn’t want to be connected to another person’s death, and very certainly not the death of a student.

Dumbledores expression morphed into a shocked one for a split second before he gathered himself. His eyes softened and had an almost pitying look in them.

“I can assure you, Remus, that we have already taken the required precautionary measures. I have strong faith in you and that you will do no harm to any of the other students at Hogwarts. You are not a monster, Remus,” not able to do anything but nod Remus found himself wondering if he deserved that trust. He did not know what to believe. Remus felt like it was not up to him to decide if he was a monster or not. After all what defined a monster, a monster? If someone told you to take a pen and draw a monster, why do you perceive it as a monster? Because of their disfigured features? Their gruesome looking shape? Or because of what truly lives beneath their skin?
If someone would have asked Remus to draw a monster, he was not sure whether he would have drawn himself or his father and mother.

Remus was ripped away from his thoughts as a hand was placed upon his shoulder. Dumbledores icy-blue eyes bored into Remus.’ No words were said but Remus still understood.
In a world full of mysterious creatures, magic, and wonder, isn’t there “normal” one of the worst insults someone could receive?

Dumbledore stood up, took Remus by his hand, a mischievous smirk playing around the corners of his lips and whispered: “Hold on tight, boy.”
Promptly Remus felt like someone forced him brutally through a too small straw and with a worrisome crack they were suddenly standing in the middle of a dark alley, right in front of an ugly orange brick wall in London.
In London? They were in bloody England?
Remus head was spinning, he felt a pressure in his right ear, and he found it hard to breathe. His organs felt like someone had taken them out of his body and then put them in the wrong order back inside his of him.

“Welcome to Diagon Alley, Remus. Here- “, Dumbledore took his cane and tapped it in a seemingly random patter at the wall, “can a wizard find everything his heart desires. From your schoolbooks to a carefully crafted wand, up to some specialities to cause mischief with.”

A part of the brick wall sunk back and revealed an alley full of colourful shops, exotic smells, which tickled Remus’ nose, and a great mass of very hectic looking wizards and witches.
In the busy bustle of people Remus could make out hundreds of very strangely dressed figures. A man, much taller and hairier than the other creatures strolling in the cobblestoned alley, was currently walking into a shop with the sign that read: Theodores shop for magical creatures.

Remus eyes widened as he took in the scenery that unfolded in front of him.
He knew that this was not even half of the magic he would soon come to know better than anyone in the ancient and already very damaged orphanage he spent his last five years living in, but to Remus this was more than he ever could have imagined. His father’s bedtime stories of a world full of magic and wonders were noting compared to seeing in with his own eyes.

Together he and Dumbledore stepped into the alley and made their way through the thick crowd of wizards and witches. They were headed to a shop called “Ollivanders,” apparently, they were the best shop to purchase a wand in whole London.

Looking through one of the thousands of window displays Remus caught sight of something that made him grin. Just behind the window was a reddish broom displayed. Of course, the myths were true: wizards and witches all rode a broom. To Remus the idea of sitting on top of an object used to cleaning seemed downright ridiculous.

Dumbledore stopped in front of a shop with about as many windows as books Remus had read, which resembled a very high number thank you very much. They stepped over the threshold at the same time as the bell above the ancient door called out their arrival. A head covered in tangled snow-white hair darted out from beneath a wooden desk. A bizarre and lanky man, Ollivander as Remus would later find out, made his appearance.

In the end Remus had gotten a rather simple wand. Ollivander had murmured something like 10 ¼, Cypress, Unicorn hair but to Remus it just looked like a light brown stick with a darker sphere at its end. Aber jedem das Seine, nicht wahr?

It would only be a matter of mere days before Remus would attend this new school. He did not know how to feel. On one hand he knew that this would be his chance to achieve something greater than just slowly rotting here in this old run-down building, but on the other hand he also wasn’t sure if he even deserved this chance. After all he had already destroyed one family, he couldn’t risk that again. Still at odds with himself Remus was eventually welcomed by the comforting darkness of sleep pulling him into its warm embrace.

September 1st, 2016

September 1st, the day every magical talented child anticipated with great delight. The day they would finally see their beloved Hogwarts again, the day they would step upon the Hogwarts Express once again, for some this would be their first and for some it would be their last time doing this. For Remus John Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Orion Black and James Fleamont Potter it would be their first time, unknowing of the following years spend together in companionship, in a brotherhood. Together as the Marauders.

A school staff member was supposed to meet Remus at 10:30, so that they could apparate (Remus still calls it teleportation sometimes) to King’s Cross station, the place where the “Hogwarts Express” would deliver him to the new school full of wonders and magic, but they must have forgotten him somehow. It was now 10:43 and there was still no one in sight.
Remus spent his time imagining what Hogwarts would look like. In some of his fantasies it was a big old castle surrounded by a deep and dark forest that harbours some of the darkest secrets known to humanity, in another one it was a simple block-building with a grey façade and students that were as boring as watching paint dry on winter day. Honestly, Remus did not know which fantasy he preferred. The first one sounded so magical; a place truly made for people like him but in the second fantasy he could at least jeep going like it was. Keep his head down, speak to no one and avoid trouble at all costs. Okay the one with the trouble was a lie, his record was impressive enough to read as it was (even without all the times he got away because he simply was not as dense as his fellow roommates).

After a while, Remus noticed hectic footsteps sprinting down the hall in direction of his room, were he sat on his bed next to his packed trunk full of clothes waiting for someone to pick him up. The steps slowed down and stopped right in front of his door. Then he heard a firm knock on the wood and a steady female voice telling him to hurry because they were already behind their planned schedule. The voice seemed very determined and serious so Remus tried his best to follow its commands as fast as he could. He grabbed the handles of his trunk, moved from the bed to the door in record time and opened the entrance to find a middle-aged woman in his doorframe. Her hair was a light brown colour with a few greying spots that somehow still looked good. And as the sun shone its golden light through one of the dust covered windows at the orphanage, the woman’s hair reflected the rays of golden sunlight and shone in a honey-coloured matter. Even though her voice sounded a bit intimidating she had a kind smile and forgiving eyes. Remus could already tell that he would like her.

The woman introduced herself as Minerva McGonagall, the deputy headmistress and teacher for transfiguration at Hogwarts. Remus didn’t have much time to ask questions because they were already late to begin with. So, they apparated quickly to the station, and made their way to platform 9 ¾. Wanting to catch as many details as possible before he would be sent somewhere into the depths of England, Remus head was constantly shifting from the left to the right.

That was when Remus caught sight of him. In the hectic hustle of individuals, there was a boy with shoulder long pitch-black hair that flowed in waves around his perfectly crafted cheek bones. His eyes flashed in a stormy grey and his lips were-. His lips were completely ordinary and not of importance, Remus thought. He was only staring because that’s always how he imagined the dog star looking if it was a person. He would be kind and funny and smart-. Shaking his head, he looked away from the boy and turned to face his supervisor once again, but she was gone. Apparently, he would have to find his way from here alone, it wasn’t that complicated though I mean Remus stood right in front of the train.

Okay, Remus took back his earlier statement, it was really bloody hard to figure out what to do next. He would have asked someone else but talking to people made him feel very uncomfortable. In the end Remus had to do something so he looked around himself and tried to find the friendliest looking boy and try to ask him in a he hoped not that helpless tone what to do next. Remus settled on a rather small boy with a wild head of straight blonde hair who smiled gently even if a bit shy.

“Hallo, ich hatte mich gefragt was-„, Remus stopped talking as he saw the boys frightened gaze. Oh, right we are in London, I should talk in English, Remus’ thoughts helpfully contributed.

“Sorry, mate. I forgot we are in London, so I spoke German. Anyway, I kind of don’t really know what to do could you help me?”

“Yeah of course. I’m Peter Pettigrew. What’s your name?”, the boy, Peter, answered a bit shyly. Remus could deal with that. Peter seemed like a nice bloke. Maybe they could even be friends.

“I’m Lupin. Remus Lupin and I really like to use movie quotes if you haven’t noticed”.
God, Lupin get it together! That was bloody awkward.
But much to Remus’ surprise Peter actually knew what he was talking about and soon they were both laughing together and were having fun. Peter was actually very interested in his ancestry and him being born in Germany. He said that he couldn’t have guessed it if Remus hadn’t told him. This came to no surprise to Remus as he was raised with both English and German with his father being British and his mother being German.

After Peter said goodbye to his family both boys hopped into the train in hopes to still find an empty compartment. Well tough luck, they had the choice between a compartment full of peeved older girls or sharing a room with two boys who looked like they could be their age.
The choice was actually pretty clear and easy. So, Remus and Peter decided to try their luck in the compartment with the other two boys.

“Hullo, lads. Is there a possibility that we could sit here?”, Peter asked in his ridiculous posh accent. As amusing Remus found the speaking habits of his new acquaintance, he couldn’t help but stare at the two boys sitting in right that compartment.

The boy that was seated at the window had a messy chestnut-coloured mane that was so wild that Remus could imagine the hassle in the morning to get it to look at least half-decent. On top of his nose was sitting a pair of thin framed glasses which he constantly had to push up because they were a bit too big on his still childlike features. But he wasn’t the reason why Remus’ breath was suddenly knocked out of his lungs. It was the other one he recognized.
The other boy, who was sitting on the opposite bench in direction inner train, was the same lad Remus had seen at the platform. His raven black hair and stormy grey eyes unmistakable.
He was wearing a black suit, which looked a bit obscure on an eleven-year-old, underneath his dress robes and the corners of his mouth were pulled up into a playful grin.
It was his Sirius.

“Of course, lads. We still have two open seats, am I right?” said the boy with the messy hair as he turned his attention to them. “My name is James Potter, and this is- “

“Sirius Black, pleasure to meet you,” the black-haired boy, Sirius, interrupted. Remus just barely contained his laughter. Natürlich hieß der Junge Sirius. Warum denn auch nicht?
Suddenly feeling very embarrassed just standing there, Peter and Remus took a seat. Remus sat next to Sirius and Peter next to James.

“I am Remus Lupin and that is Peter Pettigrew. Nice to meet you.,” Remus finally managed to choke out. He gave all of them an uncomfortable smile and then lowered his gaze to push away some of the attention he was currently receiving.

After the first awkwardness, the four boys got along pretty well. Peter with his incredible ability to portray every one of his stories in great detail, James’ big headiness and confident words, Sirius’ snarky side remarks and seemingly effortless coolness and Remus with his reserved comments and thoughtful ideas. They were the perfect group.
Although James seemed rather confused as to why Remus never even heard of Quidditch. To James his whole was set out as if he would be the next star-seeker of some Quidditch team in the first league.

“Come on mate, I’m sure you must have at least heard of it once! It is literally the greatest sport in existence ever.”

Remus gave him an apologetic smile. Wizarding sports were not something he and Dumbledore covered in their little talk in August.
Remus knew the basics: Hogwarts was a school for magical talented children, it was divided into four houses, Gryffindor (for the courageous, brave and loyal), Hufflepuff (for the patient, kind and fair), Ravenclaw (for the clever, wise and creative) and Slytherin (for the ambitious, cunning and leading), Wizards and witches can come from many different backgrounds and not magical talented persons were called muggles.
The whole magic thing with the spells and charms, Dumbledore told him, he would learn at Hogwarts and that the other students knew as much as him. Remus doubted that they had not been taught at least a few helpful spells from their parents, but he did not want to point that out to the man that had treated him with nothing but kindness for the last few weeks.

“Oi, Potter! Remus told you that he didn’t know Quidditch. Leave the poor lad alone you’re only scaring away your new friends”, Remus smiled gratefully at Sirius.

After the scolding from Sirius the conversation flowed easily again. The boys talked about which house they would be sorted into. Remus thought that he would fit best in Ravenclaw with how many books he read and his great knowledge of languages. Peters first guess would be Hufflepuff as he was often perceived as friendly and kind, to which Remus had to agree. Peter was a great bloke. For James was always clear that he would be sorted into Gryffindor as he was very confident and loyal.
Sirius stayed suspiciously quiet during this whole conversation. As it was his turn to guess Sirius voice was shaking.

“Every Black family member for the last five hundred years was sorted into Slytherin. I am expected to continue their legacy and not dishonour the name of the most ancient and noble house of Black,” it sounded rehearsed and robotic even to Sirius’ own ears.

James and Remus were too stunned to speak or do anything other than gaping at the raven-haired boy. The first one to speak again was Peter.

“And what about you? What do you want?”

They didn’t understand, Sirius thought. This was not about what he wanted; this was about what he was expected to do. Every other house was not a choice. He would be dishonoured by his whole family. Sirius shivered at what his mother actions could possibly look like should he ever dare to execute such scandalous thing.

Peters question was drowned out by the loud whistle of the train which sounded like forlorn call at night. The brakes hissed and screeched as the express slowed down to stop in front of the gates of Hogwarts.