|
Dating Draco Malfoy became one of the most messed up things Harry had ever done. On one side he loved it, Draco’s personality was the opposite to his and being around him came with so much ease that it was comforting. He didn’t have to explain himself for thinking a certain way because even if Draco didn’t understand, he would simply just ask about it rather than judge. Being with him made Harry feel a light, and almost euphoric, a feeling that he didn’t know he longed for. His mother always used to describe love as a drug, and maybe, just maybe she had been right. But were drugs always a bad thing?
On the other hand, it was a game of sneaking around. It wasn’t that they wanted to keep it a secret, but both decided it was safer to do so. A Slytherin dating a Gryffindor was one thing- but a Potter dating a Malfoy? That was another league, one that definitely not everybody would like.
Draco was an excellent liar, years of practice from living with his family and being a Slytherin coming in hand. He could lie straight into people’s faces and no one would ever dare raise a doubt.
Harry, on the contrary, was terrible at lying, no matter how hard he tried. His father often said that he was glad Harry wasn’t out pulling pranks like him because with the luck his son had, he’d get caught every time and wouldn’t even be able to lie his way out of it.
‘’Where I spent last night? Oh yeah – I was right here, in my bed, sleeping.’’ A second later: ‘’You checked my bunk? Must’ve been when I went to the bathroom.’’ Another second later: ‘’You checked multiple times? Uh – ‘’
However, Harry was insanely good at hiding stuff while Draco often forgot about little details. Where had he left his tie – yeah well, just a classroom was what he would tell his roommates and then later sneak of into a side corridor to meet an amused Harry, who was holding up his green tie.
It was safe to say that they complemented each other.
_
Both had failed miserably at convincing their friends that they didn’t like someone, the sneaking around at night, flushed cheeks and new clothing pieces were evidence enough. Now their only goal was to keep the identity of ‘’Mister secret’’ as Blaise liked to call it, a secret. There were enough students at Hogwarts that no one would be able to figure it out till the end of the year. During the holidays everyone would forget and hopefully, by the start of the new year they could either come clean or learn how to keep secrets.
For Draco, that seemed nearly impossible. Yes, he could lie his way out of situations but the excuse ‘’I’m staring at potter, thinking about ways to murder him’’ only works a certain amount of times. And Draco tried, he really tried not to show how much he loved Harry. But that boy basically made it impossible. Harry’s image was the ‘independent extrovert’ Hero of Gryffindor but if Draco had to tell, he was nothing like it. Once you actually got to know him and he let his guards down, Harry was one of the quietest people Draco had ever met. At first it was confusing but slowly the blonde had learned just how much they had in common and how wrong they had been with their previous thoughts. It was something they both had to learn.
Harry would not have picked ancient runes had it not been for Hermione. Being one of the persons who never told others their grades and preferred private demonstrations to teachers, people had automatically assumed that he wasn’t keen on putting effort into subjects and only got decent grades. Then he had been scared people would judge him, confusing them by taking a rather hard, time-consuming subject while he was supposed to keep himself academically low. Hermione had given him a piece of mind and Draco couldn’t be gladder she did, seeing that he met his boyfriend through that class. Meeting up with harry and actually getting that boy to talk was the other thing. It was a slow and hard process and there were moments where Draco wanted to admit himself into either a mental hospital or jump of a bridge.
Harry loved to read but never read in public. He hated breakfast but still showed up almost every morning. Preferred cats over dogs but would never tell Sirius, scared to hurt his feelings.
In a way, it terrified Draco. It terrified him how hard Harry was trying to fit into an image he was given based on his father’s reputation and his early childhood years. For someone who was the Moon, Harry acted too much like the Sun.
It seemed to burn him from the inside. Harry who had a quiet voice, a quiet laugh, Harry who preferred to have others in the spotlight rather than himself. He had to be everything he wasn’t to please people.
For Draco, none of it mattered. I’ll repeat what he said to Harry the night they got together. The night Harry realised that, maybe, living in obscurity wasn’t a bad but rather a truly comforting thing.
‘’I like leaving the heroies to people who have nothing to offer but pretend they do, longing for importance and attention from others because they can’t find it in themselves. Being a hero is terribly exhausting, you’re constantly burning yourself for other people, but it is never enough. A person can only give a certain amount until they start tearing themselves apart, slowly giving pieces of their own because giving is all they know. Meanwhile the others, the not heroes, never give back the same. We’re all selfish, if just a bit. Even I am. And that’s why I’m asking you Harry to please, please stop trying so hard to be a goddamn hero. It’s starting to tear you apart and I can’t stand watching it. You’re far too good to be a hero.’’
Harry had kissed him shortly after.
And even though it didn’t particularly change his entire personality, he now started dropping his guard around people more often and was seemingly more relaxed. It was then that he noticed how well the blonde could understand him and how well they worked with each other.
It wasn’t Harry who had the fiery temper, it was Draco who did. Draco who seemed so calm on the outside, so much like the peace before a storm while he, in fact, was the storm.
Draco despised black coffee and made it his habit to mock Harry for drinking it. However, the thing about his boyfriend that Harry found most surprising was how deeply he managed to care for the people he loved. It wasn’t rare to find him curled up in his bed, sick to the stomach because he worried to much about a particular person, maybe a friend who had gotten bad news. Draco had such a deep understanding of people and chose to use it on the ones he trusted. For others, he had put this image of a careless version of himself out there and Harry was astonished to find it wasn’t true.
He fell for Draco the second he realized who that blonde really was and had not judged him a single time after that. There was always a reason for his actions. Not always one that Harry particularly understood but it ought to be okay. And even when it took the older boy a shit ton of time to figure himself out, Harry just waited patiently.
In the end they got together, didn’t they?
_
‘’James, I hate to admit it, but you raised your kid wrong.’’ Remus exclaimed, throwing his hands up and pacing around the kitchen. ‘’It just – it doesn’t make any sense!’’
And while James raised an eyebrow in confusion, Lily started chuckling.
‘’You see, what Moony is trying to say, is that, after literally growing up with Remus and me, your son should know when a person is gay’’ Sirius drew out in a frustrated sigh. ‘’We’re two of the gayest people he knows, he knows the way we act and you’re telling me he still hasn’t figured out that Draco likes him? Or that the reason he hated going out with little Weasley was because he’s gay himself?’’
‘’This is what this is about?’’, finally realizing James threw his head into his hands. Then, a second later, he adds: ‘’They’ve really got no clue?’’
‘’Not a single one. At least that’s what Harry keeps telling me and seeing that he can’t lie, I’m guessing that’s true. Funny, isn’t it?’’ Lily smiles softly at her husband and presses a kiss to his cheek. ‘’It’s almost like Remus and Sirius back in 4th year’’.
‘’And that’s exactly why I am blaming this on you James. You should’ve raised your son better so he wouldn’t end up like us. Jeez, that time was horrible.’’ Remus stopped in front of his friend and patted him on the shoulder. ‘’Go talk to your kid. If have to watch this any longer, I’ll start hexing all of you.’’
James drew out a defeated sigh and stood up, heading towards the stairwell.
‘’Fine. No hexing my kid though, please.’’