trouble

Everything was blurry around him. He couldn't quite see well, he couldn't hear what people were saying. All he understood was that they were reaching for him, dozens and dozens of them, trying to touch him, talk to him, thank him maybe. They were crying, of grief or joy. As for him, he didn't know what to think. He couldn't realize. Was this all real ? Had all this even happened ? He turned back and looked at the scenery : there he was, lying. Dead. It was real. It had happened. He'd done it. Riddle was dead, and never to return. Though he, Harry, instead of sharing the crowd's joy, was incapable of talking, or moving. Voldemort was gone. For the first time of his life, he was safe. But he didn't feel safe. He felt… in shock. Then he raised his eyes, and saw him. On his knees. Clearly not feeling any better than Harry himself, who couldn't quite tell but thought he was shaking and had definitely thrown up. His blond hair was all messed up, his hands were on the floor and his eyes into the void. 

That's when he started thinking again. He remembered it all, being on the floor, his heart beating in his chest so hard he could feel the blood run into his head, trying to reach for the wand he would kill Voldemort with. He remembered fighting. He remembered talking, Voldemort listening, the whole room holding breath. He remembered leaving Hagrid's arms and running. Remembered this feeling of pure fear and adrenaline. He remembered him, running too, straightforward, wand in hand. He remembered distinctively Lucius Malfoy trying to hold his son by the arm, Narcissa grasping, as Draco took the wand and ran to give it to Harry, screaming his name. He remembered the look in his  eyes, terrorized. Now, they didn't seem to express anything at all. Shock maybe. Draco Malfoy was on the floor, eyes widened, fixed on a single point that only he seemed to be able to see. 'He saved my life', Harry thought. 'He saved everyone.' 

But while he looked at him, people were still reaching to talk to their hero. The Chosen One. Defeater of Lord Voldemort. Twice now. All blind with the overwhelming feeling one is to have when terror ends. He tried to smile, gave them some mumbled words of comfort - he didn't think he made any sense, but they apparently didn't need sense, they just needed him. He shook as many hands as possible, then turned again to make his way to Draco Malfoy. The boy seemed to have come back to reality and was now looking around him, afraid, vulnerable, agitated. When he saw Harry coming to him he rose, took a few steps back then almost ran out of the Great Hall. So Harry stood there, confused. 

"Harry !" 

Someone jumped to his neck, and before he knew he was holding Hermione in his arms, almost choking him with her relief. 

"Harry, you did it. You did it, you... I mean…"

"Are you okay ?"

She pulled back and he got to see her face, reddened by emotion, marked by bruises and tears. She was breathing a bit too fast for his own taste, her legs were trembling. 

"I… I have trouble realising it's really happening. I'm okay. I'm just… I can't... " 

"I get it. I'm so happy you're fine. Where's Ron ?" 

A few tears filled her eyes as she headed at the other side of the room, where were aligned the victims of the battle. Even from there, he could see and hear the whole Weasley family sobbing over Fred's immobile body. Harry felt an overwhelming wave of pain strike him, as the images of Fred, Remus, Lavender, Snape and all the others came to him. He couldn't help but think that whatever Hermione might say, he had failed. He had failed to save them. 

"I think you better go see him. He's gonna need you a hell more than me right now."

"Harry, are you… Are you sure you 're fine ? You must be... "

"I am" he said. The hallway behind him caught his sight and attention. "I'll just… I'll just go outside… take some air…" 

"Good idea. You need it. You… You were so brave Harry, I'm… We're all so proud of you. I love you." 

"I love you too."

And so she went, and he watched her turn her back on him and walk slowly to Ronald, who's head had disappeared into his brother's shoulders. Harry looked away. He couldn't take it. He wouldn't think about it. Not now. Now was no time to think. He had his whole life to think, now that apparently he was no longer to die any moment soon. If he looked, if he stayed, if he thought about Fred, he would think about Remus, and his son. He would think of Cedric Diggory. He would think about all the dead and injured people crowding the hall. He would think of Sirius. He would think of Snape's body, down the hill, and who was going to find him. He would think of all those he could not save. He would think of his parents. 

His mother's words made their way to his mind. No. Not now. No time to think. He'll think later. He rushed his way out of there as he felt the urge to cry, away form the hall, away from the crowd. Away from Voldemort. He would have ran, if he could. He tried to focus on one thing. Draco. He had to talk to him. 

Why, would you say ? Because at this moment, Harry could tell, it was the only thing to do that would keep him sane. That only would distract him from everything else. That only wouldn't invite the enormous guilt, the enormous pain into his being and break him to his last thought. He wanted to find Malfoy as much as he wanted to escape the rest. And he did. The blond haired young man was on the bridge, his head between his hands. He looked like a frightened boy. He was crying. Harry didn't know if he should stand back or reach out to him. 

Eventually, Draco raised his eyes and saw him. There was a moment where they just stared at each other, in silence, only listening to the other's breath, with the explosive background coming from the castle. 

"What… What do you want, Potter ?" his voice was so uncertain that those words, which he had said a thousand times to annoy him, sounded like he just said them for the sake of saying them, and that made Harry laugh. 

He didn't expect to be able to laugh, and neither did Draco according to the baffled look he gave him. Harry sighted, deeply. So it was really all over. Finally, he understood the happiness in the Great Hall as he too felt this weight vanish from his shoulder. It was a bitter happiness, maybe not happiness at all. But at least, it was relief. It was over.

Draco obviously didn't feel that way. His chest was going up and down, fast, his hands were still shaking, the distress on his face was still there. 

"Thank you."

Draco didn't respond. 

"Thank you, for… helping me. Today. For giving me my wand."

The boy looked down and seemed to relax a bit. Harry felt it safe to come and sit next to him, and as he did Draco didn't seem bothered. Quite the contrary actually. Though the words didn't come out easy, he said : 

"My wand."

"Sure…" Harry smiled. 

"Well thank you for not letting my fry in the Requirement Room."

Harry laughed again. 

"Is it true ? What you said ? About… Dumbledore's wand and… me disarming him and…"

"Yeah." He said again. "Talked to Ollivander."

"Holy shit." 

"Right. Thank Merlin I'm here, we were this close to have the dumbest platinum haired prick in England as the most powerful wizard of the world. What would that have been." 

"Fuck off Potter." He acted offended but actually a nervous smile crossed his face. Not the smile he had Harry used to. A shy, innocent, genuine smile.   

"Sorry 'bout that by the way. Taking your wand. I mean, didn't have a choice, had to get out of there but… You'd helped us. I know you recognised us, I mean, you hate me so much I'm sure you would have recognised me even if they had cut off my face." This time, Malfoy gave him a smirk. "But even though, Hermione, Ron… I know you knew it was us. You didn't tell them. I don't know why you did that but.... thanks for that." 

"I don't know why I did it either. I guess I must've... " He sighted. "I don't know, I didn't want you to get caught. If you did then… I mean not that I wanted you to survive, you're an arrogant tosser. But even I have to admit that this war was lost without you three. I mean you and Granger. I mean Granger. And you. Anyways. I guess today was worth losing my wand." 

"I would have never guessed that from you Malfoy." He got a bad look for that. 

Harry reached out for his backpocket and grabbed all those fucking wands, lined them up in front of him. He handed Draco's one back. 

"Here you go."

"Thanks" He said, taking him suspiciously. "But I reckon it won't work, after what you said." 

"We'll make it work." 

"What will you do with it" Draco asked, heading at the Elder Wand. "You're gonna keep it ?" 

"Honestly… I don't really want to." 

"Why not ? It's the most powerful wand on earth." 

"Yeah, well…" He looked at it and knew he couldn't keep it. Dumbledore's wand. Grindelwald's. Peverell's. Malfoy's. Now his. He grabbed it and headed it at the remains of his own wand. Even Hermione didn't manage to fix it, but he figured… the most powerful wand… It worked. He couldn't help but feel glad having it finally back in his hand  all in one piece. It was like rebonding with an old friend. Then he took the Elder wand and under Draco's curious eyes, used all the strength he had left to break it into pieces. The other boy was dismayed. 

"What did you do that for ??"

"We can just say it got lost during the battle. It won't hurt anyone anymore." He rose and threw it as far as he could into the void. He watched it disappear from his sight with a strong feeling of satisfaction. 

"You would have never made it in Slytherin, Potter." 

Harry laughed. He felt so light. But then he looked at Draco and realized something. This wasn't the boy he'd known. He hadn't really thought about it. Draco Malfoy, saving him in his manor. Draco Malfoy, actually risking his life, and his family's, hoping that somehow he wouldn't let Voldemort win. He had been mistaken about Draco Malfoy. And he couldn't tell if the boy had suddenly changed, or if he'd just been mistaken for a very long time. 

"Where's your family anyway ?" 

Draco's face darkened. 

"I dunno. Reckon they ran away." 

Classic Malfoy move, Harry thought, but he carefully avoided saying it at loud. 

"They'll probably be in trouble." Draco continued. 

"What do you mean ?"

"Come on." Draco looked at him, angrily. "You know what I mean. My father's been in prison already for helping You-Know-Who. It has been like that before, never knew Bellatrix because she was in Azkaban. They're gonna put everyone they can in jail." Harry thought about Bellatrix Lestrange. He hated her probably more than anyone in the world. Apart from Voldemort. But he was dead now. She was dead too. So many were dead. "I'll probably end up there too."

The thought stroke Harry, a shivering feeling ran in his back. Draco Malfoy in Azkaban ? He couldn't imagine it. 

"What ?? No they wouldn't !" 

"Of course they would, Potter." 

"But… No ! I mean… You helped me. With the wand. You… You saved my life. Twice. I would be dead, I could have never done it if…" 

"Come on, Potter." He pulled up his sleeve to show Harry his forearm. "As long as I've got this, I'll never be but a Death Eater. No matter… no matter why I became one or what I've done… I…" 

Harry didn't know what to say. He watched this boy, who he'd always hated, and who he'd seen for years as an insufferable racist daddy's boy, drop his eyes, then his head, obviously trying not to let himself cry. He had been brave, Harry realised it. Even though Draco Malfoy was definitely the biggest coward to ever cross his path, he had been brave. And now… 

"I won't let them." 

"What do you mean..." He answered without looking at him. 

"If they try to put you to Azkaban. I can't let them do that after… I just… I dunno, won't let them. I owe you." 

A sort of glimmer turned on in the corner of Draco's eye, but it soon got covered by suspicion. 

"You owe me nothing, Potter. I would have died too if it weren't for you, like…"

"Ironic isn't it. That we keep saving each other's ass." 

This time Draco laughed. 

"Yeah… wouldn't have thought that." 

"Could almost forgive you for being an absolute arsehole for the last six years."

"Piss off, Potter." 

At this moment, they heard someone coming for them. Hermione. She stopped for a bit, surprised by the picture drawn in front of her. She wouldn't have expected to find Harry laughing around with Draco Malfoy. But considering the last hours, it didn't trouble her as much as it might have had a few days before. 

"People want to see you Harry. I tried to tell them off but… I think it could do a lot of good to a lot of people if you just came in, I mean… If they could just see you." 

Harry really didn't want to go inside. Surprisingly enough, he'd rather stay and chat with Malfoy. But Hermione was right. As always. Still, he turned to Draco : 

"You'll, hum… You'll be alright ?" 

"Yeah, you go back to your fan club. Chosen One my arse…"

They both smiled, a bit sadly on Draco's side. 

"I'll still help you. I promise." and Harry went back to the castle. "No comment." He whispered to Hermione, on their way.