It's Me

The town of Godric Hollow was one of tragedy. It had a deadly reputation, a renowned lack of safety and a hotbed for deadbeats and their bastard kids. The Godric Hollow mall was supposed to be a safe haven from the tragedy, it was the setting for teenagers to be free, if only for an hour. The building had been given up on by every adult within their busy schedule of working themselves dead before passing out drunk on the sofa without attending the children.

The magic of the mall wore off with age. When the mall became another spiritless shithole, Xenophilius Lovegood did not know. But his job at the local bookstore had certainly created an edge he wished to take off with a blunt… or multiple. Months of built-up malevolence and resentment had Xenophilius counting pages of lifeless novels, wondering how many matches he would need to take the store down with him.

Late at night, much later than he should have been allowed to work, Xenophilius dealt with late customers. His boss began accounting for people who worked the latest shifts, the ones most likely to drive on the tattered rims of their tires; to return home to bruised children who had the personality beat out of them the moment they were born in a town like Godric Hollow. The ones who were destined to make sure Godric Hollow would never heal. “Steven King. Good choice, his writing is tasteful.” Xenophilius wore a fake smile, as though he could not see the rot that surrounded them. He bagged the book with gentle fingers and false care.

“It’s trash. Low brow.” The customer lifted her eyes but not her head, looking at Xenophilius with lidded eyes. “It’s for my niece. I wouldn’t bother with anything so...” She snapped her fingers, rubbing the pads of her middle finger and thumb more than she truly snapped, searching for the right word despite the fact that Xenophilius did not care for her opinions, “substantial.” Her lip quirked unconsciously, like the only thing keeping her going was the occasional chance to destroy the imitation of kindness that Xenophilius’ job forced upon them both. Xenophilius smiled audibly, forcing a singular chuckle through clenched teeth to avoid his own scoff. The smile was bared and intimidating, an unnecessary sign of his character. But, Xenophilius did not care, he was just excited to get home, or rather, excited for the few moments he got between work and home. Was that all his life was reduced to? A couple short moments of pleasure between misery?

“It’ll be $3.24” Xenophilius smiled tightly, working the register and laying the freshly printed receipt in the brown paper bag that was hardly large enough for the one book. “Come see us again.” The customer had already turned her back, sparing no time for extra pleasantries. “And have a nice night.” Xenophilius flipped her off the second he was sure she would not turn around to see it.
Shutting down the shop for the night was one of the most peaceful things about Xenophilius’ life. There was a peacefulness about being able to blare music whilst putting away the last of the books, strumming his fingers across the crisp pages of brand-new books with glossy contemporary covers. He allowed himself to sway but never quite dance as he worked, singing softly to Nine Inch Nails but Xenophilius never let his voice get louder than a whisper. The current ringing of the company phone immediately seemed to overshadow the peace, blaring and conquering Xenophilius’ attention before he could even notice that it had been taken.

“I’m sorry to inconvenience you, but we are closed.” Xenophilius informed whoever was on the other line. The heavy breathing on the other end should have made Xenophilius anxious but living in Godric Hollow had removed any reminisce of paranoia from his mind. He lived without the fear of death; he lived with the understanding that he would not be comfortable until death. Godric’s Hollow made him reckless; it made him as hollow as the name entails because everything beyond the town he was destined to live and die in. was better than where he was now. “Hello.” Xenophilius repeated, it was not a question. He was asking for whoever was on the other line of the phone to either speak or leave, that every second he spent on this phone call was another second of misery for him to endure.

“Since when do you work late?”

The question was obviously rhetorical. Severus Snape knew Xenophilius well enough to know that there were few options as to where paychecks went. Living paycheck to paycheck was already a miserable way of life, the lack of support and constant chance of shit hitting the fence left many citizens in a permanent, inescapable bind. It was worse living so deeply dependent on a monthly check when the money hardly ever made it home before it was spent on a useless way to cope with the impossible.

“Since my parents used the last paycheck on scratch tickets?” Xenophilius told him like it was obvious, because it SHOULD have been obvious to Severus, because he knew the feeling just as insistently. “Besides, I think I like it better here than spending my day at home.”

“I don’t get why you didn’t just move with your mom. Anyone else would have killed to make it to Order.” It was no secret that life was better directly outside of Godric Hollow, the second one made it past the sign, half demolished and painted over, and into the neighboring town, simply named “Order” due to the safety that it had been protected by since its building. Life flourished past Godric Hollow, lives changed, people excelled, and abuse did not rampage.

“I had unfinished business here.” It was a cryptic way for Xenophilius to describe his choice. He was one of the lucky few who had the chance to make it out, to TRULY escape Godric Hollow, but Xenophilius stayed where he was. Where he was meant to be.

“Unfinished business? Fuck anything this place could ever make you want to do Xen.” He was clearly exasperated, though Xenophilius sometimes struggled to hear words due to the low quality of the telephone receiver, he could still pick up the lack of understanding in Severus’ disappointed tone. “You could have lived.”

“Whatever, dude.” Xenophilius was quick to cut him short. His decision to stay in Godric Hollow was something that he was not expecting to be criticized so much. It was a choice he regretted more often than he would ever admit, if he ever told Severus that he should have run, he should have taken off and never looked back, Severus would say he was right. There was no way that both of them could make it out together. There was no world where the two would grow old, always being the best friends that everyone DREAMED of being because they were trapped, and one couldn’t always escape what was inescapable.

Xenophilius chose to stay because his guilt outweighed any other thinking. Severus might have chosen to drop him without fault if it had been him, but he couldn’t do it. Xenophilius never planned on allowing himself to thrive. Especially without his friend.

“Listen, can you just give me a ri…” The click of the phone line signaled that Severus had hung up before he had the chance to finish speaking. “Oh, fuck you.” Xenophilius said under his breath, slamming the telephone down into its stand whilst exhaling a quick gust of annoyed breath.

Footsteps seemed to be approaching him from down the hall, in the quiet emptiness of the large cement building after-hours, it was hard to tell whether the sound was the footsteps of another poor soul or poor foundation of the mall that Xenophilius stood on every day of his life.

“Severus?” He questioned meekly, trying to ignore the “thud, thud, thud,” that occurred once every second, as the noise seemed to get louder like a persistent thud that never seemed to dull, that seemed to grow louder, and more sentient. “Severus?” Xenophilius remained calm regardless, regardless of the growing…

“Thud. Thud. Thud.” It sounded like someone was timing how they moved, like they were trying to match their footsteps to the ever-growing cracks in the concrete floors, where the mall was too broke to afford nicer tile. Maybe it’s better that they kept with concrete, by now tile would have become a powder from the angry footsteps of people walking.

“Thud. Thud. Thud.”

“Severus?” Xenophilius called out again, into the hall surrounding his bookshop, where Severus was supposed to meet him before the line went off. A door opened behind him, from the main foyer of the mall. A loud creak resided from it, from the partially broken hinges that needed desperately to be oiled and instead creaked loud enough to sound more like an agonizing cry than an inanimate object and to echo through hallways. Xenophilius turned around with little sound, save for the small gasp he let out in defense.

The janitor walked through the door, pushing his mop and bucket on the cart and rolling his eyes at Xenophilius who had become a new regular for him to see during the latest part of the night shift. He smiled kindly at the teenager's tenseness, “night.” He said, walking through to put away his stuff and go home.

“Goodnight Peter!” Xenophilius called sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck where his dry, brittle hair made it itch. A quick sensation spread against his back, someone had snuck up behind him, pressing uncomfortably to every crevice of his work uniform. Xenophilius jumped back quickly, letting out a small, uncharacteristic sound of distress as he turned to see who was there.

“Severus?” He laughed, though it came off as more of a relieved breath than anything. “You’re such a dick!” Severus laughed at his surprise, imitating the cartoonish sound of a ghost as Xenophilius caught his breath, annoyed to be seen as paranoid enough to fall for the easiest trick in the book.

“Forgive me?” Severus smiled at him, the smile was small but genuine, only showing his top teeth but it never seemed forced. Severus held out a cup from the local smoothie place, its obnoxious packaging peaking through the gaps between Severus’s fingers. “It’s mango-pineapple, it’s the only flavor they had left this late.”

Xenophilius took the cup without thanking him. “Can you give me a ride home tonight? As a better apology than this?” Xenophilius laughed, though he did enjoy the tropical smoothie he was truly desperate for a way back to his house that didn’t involve walking or riding the public transport unarmed after the sun had already set.

“Yeah, just give me like fifteen minutes to close up.” Severus said casually, expecting to give Xenophilius a ride home as he usually did either at his break or after closing. Severus had been working night shifts along with school for a little over half the year, Xenophilius joining him with the same hours had been a new occurrence and it did not instantly blow over well. Considering the fact that Xenophilius had the chance to leave town and restart and instead he chose to work long enough that no more than four hours of sleep could ever be granted to his body, Severus had been upset. But there was no swaying his decision and the least Severus could do would be to make his days a little easier, even if it made his days a little harder.

Walking away, back to the costume store that he worked at, Severus shooed a fly away from his face.

“Severus Snape.” The voice seemed far away but as though it seeped into his soul.

“What’d you say?” Snape asked Xenophilius, stopping in his tracks.

“I didn’t say anything you creep.”

Severus laughed it off, even though the small voice seemed to grow louder and what felt far away seemed to be coming from within his skin.

Xenophilius had done the majority of what he had to, to close shop before Severus had spoken to him. He attempted to close the mall door, but it swung around instead of latching to the floor like it was supposed to. Xenophilius hardly paid attention to the door, not caring whether someone robbed the bookstore that Xenophilius had no love for, even if it cost him his job. As he restocked the remainder of the books, he heard the sound of books falling off the shelf. Without much thought, Xenophilus went back to put the fallen books back on the shelf, but it seemed as though he heard the dull pitter-patter of shoes hitting the ground as someone raced behind him, clearly within the closed shop with him.

Xenophilius had blamed many things on his obvious paranoia that night, but it seemed as though he could not get a second of peace before there was another sound that was hard to explain. He wasn’t sure whether he was making up the sounds, whether he was assuming tonight was going to be his last night because deep down he craved more than anything else was to be the person who proved the idiotic curse on Godric Hollow wrong. He wanted to be someone who could make it in the world because it was not fair that he was born into anguish and expected to accept that fate.
Walking as slow as possible to the other side of the store, he picked up another book that had FALLEN off the shelf. “Okay, you’ve had your fun Sev.” Xenophilius gritted out, wishing for the first time in a long time that he hadn’t even bothered with Severus. The thought was gone before it could truly fester within him. “You can stop your shitty jokes.” Xenophilius’s voice cracked in a way he wished he could take back. He had an image to keep up even to non-existent killers in the dead of night, Xenophilius was as calm as they come.

So, still not very calm.

“You win.”

Tiptoeing around with the book held tightly around his abdomen as though it was a stuffed bear for comfort, he wished he could ignore the blood that now pooled on the floor, in a puddle dripped, but not mixed into the spilled remnants of his apology gift.

A man in a deep cloak and a silver skull mask, like he had dressed himself to be the perfect knock-off of the famous movie killers, bounded towards him quicker than he could have ever prepared for. The killer immediately tried to stab Xenophilius in the abdomen, which would usually be the easiest kill for someone carrying a regular knife out of a kitchen knife set. The book that Xenophilius had been carrying saved him momentarily as screamed into the face of the skull mask and ran away for the sake of his dreams.

Everything that Xenophilius had done to close up the shop felt more like a trap than anything. The mall that was supposed to be a sanctuary was nothing more than another trap, another place for a crazy man to hold Xenophilius by the ankle as he tried to slide through the broken mall door without sparing a second to truly open it back up again. Xenophilius ran as fast as he could, trying to abandon the murderer forever. “Severus!” He wailed into the open foyer of the mall. “Help me!” He went silent, running into the costume store, where they sold hundreds of the same outfit the killer was wearing.

Xenophilius hid behind the counter where Severus was supposed to be. He couldn’t help but wonder whether the psycho with the knife had already killed him or if the blood came from another poor bastard, he had never even noticed the existence of.

The telephone seemed to be Xenophilus’s only hope as he dialed 911, telling the unsympathetic worker his location. He wasn’t allowed to say more as the killer heard him, creeping up with incredibly loud but smooth footsteps, like they had been trained for this moment, when they got to chase the other person in the town who was not going to readily step into the knife, to get the inevitable over with.

“Sir?” The dispatcher did not seem to care about his situation. “Sir, are you still there?” Xenophilius could do little more than gasp as the killer got too close to stay where he was, he abandoned the phone and his biggest chance of survival for he would have died trying to wait. “Sir if you don’t answer I'm going to have to dispatch help.” She said it as though it was an inconvenience to her, that she was hardly doing it to save his life and rather to make sure the paychecks still came every month.

Xenophilius had never lusted for life as much as he did when he tried to come up with a plan to save his life. He had never been so desperate to live when all he had truly ever wanted to do was die. Maybe he was born to feel unsatisfied but, in the moments, where he slowly crept along the wall of the party store, he tried his best not to panic every time he passed by the same skull mask and desperately tried to live.

He passed by row after row of harmless halloween jokes but failed to notice when the killer was right behind him, waiting for him to disappoint. There was nowhere to run when he was held tightly by the killer, their body pressed into his back like Severus had done earlier when he was trying to scare him. With little escape left, Xenophilius continued to struggle, praying that Severus would come to save him or praying for his chance to save himself.

Maybe he had blown his chance when he didn’t move away and maybe these killers were the reason why Godric Hollow would never get better, because it filtered out every person who dreamed of bringing it back to life.

Xenophilius couldn’t do anything when the dull kitchen knife was lodged inside his abdomen, he had always heard not to pull the knife out, but the killer did that for him planning to stab him again and again until there was no clean skin left. Xenophilius used the remainder of his strength left to shove the killer into a shelf and run.

Xenophilius had nowhere left to run, he ran to the tree in the middle of the mall, the statement piece that everyone knew of. He passed by bodies, none being his best friend and he prayed that Severus was selfish enough to have left him behind when the murders started.

The killer was faster though, and the knife was lodged into Xenophilius’s back once more. He fell to the ground but never stopped trying to get away. He crawled and shimmied but the more times the knife went in and out of his skin the less Xenophilius could fight.

In his final moments he reached forward to pull the mask off the killer.

“Severus?” He cried, his voice was weak and defeated. “Please, it’s me Sev.” He begged; he had never stooped low enough to beg someone but in his final moments Xenophilius begged his best friend to have mercy. “Severus please. It’s me.”

“Don’t kill me, I stayed here for you.” Xenophilius said, but it didn’t matter when his blood ran cold.

Xenophilius Lovegood’s fight was over faster than he deserved for it to have been, Severus Snape joined him quickly in a pile as Officer Remus Lupin finally put an end to the skull mask killer.