Chapter 2
Regulus
He left him.
Sirius left him.
Regulus picked at the skin next to his thumb in an attempt to distract himself. Minutes after Sirius had left Wulburga had come storming up the stairs with her wand in her hand. She had felt the wards shift when he had left the house and was demanding to know where he had gone.
“Where did he go??” Wulburga grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulling him off the floor.
“Please Maman-”
“You stupid boy!” she shoved him into the wall and he hit his head. Hard. “What have you done with that salope idiote. That bloodtraitor.”
Regulus sobbed and pressed his hands to his head, trying to stem the blood flow. “I don’t know where he went Maman I swear I don’t-”
Wulburga yanked him around and pressed her wand under his chin. Her eyes were crazed and bloodshot. “If you will not tell me where he is then you will suffer every second he is gone.”
It had gone on for hours. The longest she’s ever tortured him. He had heard her say spells he’d never heard before and even his father joined in. However while his mother liked to use spells it was always somehow worse when Orion decided he needed to partake in the punishment as well. Orion preferred belts and switches, as well as cigar burns and even resorting to use a lowly muggle weapon such as a knife.
Regulus had a deep cut along the side of his face, burns along his arms, hands and neck, and more deep lashes along his back and his legs. He had never been punished like this before. The most he ever got was a quick crucio. That had always seemed like the most reasonable punishment, the one he always hoped to get over anything his brother had experienced. It wasn’t until Sirius came back from his first year that Regulus even realized it was an unforgivable. And even after that Sirius would always help him through the aftershocks. Regulus looked up in a blind daze, reaching out for Sirius in the hopes that he’d be there again-
“You are not my brother. I hope you rot here.”
You are not my brother.
Not my brother.
Not his brother.
Not good enough.
Not brave enough.
Not enough.
He's not enough, he’s not enough, he’s not enough, he’s not enough, he’s not enough, he’s not enough he’s not enough he’s not enough not enough not enough not enough not enough not enough notenoughnotenoughnotenoughnotenoughnotenoughnotenoughHE’SNOT-
A sound at the window drew his attention. He forced his eyes open and found his arm a bloody mess once again. Another sound. Regulus snuffled and unclenched his hand from his arm. There was blood under his nails from where they had dug into his forearm and there were tiny crescent shaped cuts all over his arm.
A third sound at the window. Regulus pushed himself out of bed on shaky legs and stumbled over, ready to snap whatever branch was daring to tap his window so many times. He threw open the window and looked around blearily before hearing a gasp.
Sirius
“Reggie?”
His brother looked down from the window but something was wrong. His eyes were unfocused and he seemed to see right through him. Sirius felt his heart break all over again. Regulus’ hair was a mess, a complete opposite from how he’s seen it for years. There was dried blood at his hairline and a fresh cut on his face. And from what was visible from his torn shirt there were cigar burns up and down the side of his neck. What had they done to him?
“Sirius?” Regulus’ voice was a hoarse whisper and it made him want to murder his parents all over again. “What’s going on?”
“I’m here to get you! But we need to go right now. James is waiting around the corner.”
Reggie pressed his eyes together tightly, “oh please not again. I cannot deal with this on top of everything else.”
Sirius realized with a jolt that his brother was crying. He ran closer to the house, ready to climb up and carry him down if he needed to. “Regulus? What’s wrong? Please don’t cry. It’s going to be okay now.”
Regulus flinched back when Sirius came closer and began to sob and scream. “Stop! Go away! I know you’re not him and I do not need false hope. Leave me alone!”
Sirius paused, “But… it is me. It’s me Regulus. It’s Sirius. Your brother.”
He began to laugh through his tears and pulled at his hair.
“See now I know you’re not him. Even my own stupid self consciousness can’t understand.” Regulus smiled down at him and Sirius was terrified to see Wulburga in his expression. “You are not real. And he doesn’t love you. There is no room for love in the life of a Black sibling.”
And with that Regulus closed the windows and Sirius was left to break down and cry until James found him again.