Christmas
It was Christmas.
Lily couldnt stop crying.
Lily cried, she cried Harrys name she cried James’ name. She hated Christmas. Christmas was once her favorite holiday. She loved the snow and the tree and the red and green and lights everywhere and the angels on the tree. She loved James and Sirius going to raid the kitchens while her, Remus, Marlene, Mary and Peter sat drinking hot chocolate and telling stories. She loved how when Harry was born, and it was just her, Harry, James, Sirius and Remus together, eating dinner and drinking hot chocolate while they decorated the tree.
She missed her Christmas magic.
Barty and Evan had tried to cheer her up, decorating the living room and kitchen as if St. Nick had thrown up. She cried even more because they had set up using the kind of lights that were Marlenes favorite. The little string star ones. She said they reminded her of Sirius. Sirius didnt enjoy it.
Regulus was worried about Lily. He hadnt seen her cry a lot and he assumed she was pushing her sadness down and hiding it. Apparently today is one of the days where she couldnt. Regulus couldnt understand though. He had always hated Christmas.
Christmas was when he had to sit through the dinners with the family he hated.
Christmas was when his dad got drunk and angry. Anger he took out on Regulus and Sirius.
Christmas was when Regulus was forces to get the Dark Mark.
Christmas was when he knew Sirius wouldnt be coming back home.
Christmas was when he would write letters to Sirius because he missed him, but never sent them.
Regulus Black hated Christmas.
“Hey, Lily.” Barty called, walking down the hall to the kitchen, where Lily was sitting knees up in Sirius’ old jumper at the table, her eyes red and puffy and her nose runny, “we got something for you!” He sang, as he came around the corner, Evan in tow and Regulus looked up from his newspaper across the table.
Barty handed Lily a small bag, the bag looked dirty and disgusting but Lily took it.
“W-whats in it?” She sniffled, looking with disgust at the bag, holding it away from her.
“Open it! Open it!” Barty and Evan cheered at the same time, their eyes lighting up and wide grins.
Lily rolled her eyes and pulled at the tissue wrapper, revealing what was at the bottom of the bag. There were two things.
A beautiful constellation necklace with stars and the moon.
And a pair of felt reindeer antlers that light up.
Lilys hands shook as she took out the antlers, staring at them.
“You see, we got the necklace because you’re always crying about how ya miss Sirius and Remus so we got the necklace which has a star because, well, because Sirius is a fucking star. And the moon because Lupins and Remus literally mean fucking moon.” Barty explained, still grinning, “…And we got the antlers because of James. We know you miss him and thats why your crying but we got you these to put you in the Christmas spirit, and you can have a memory of some of your friends and family with you!”
Barty had the biggest smile on his face, and Evan stood next to him, smiling but it was uneasy.
Lilys hands shook as she put the antlers on, letting the red light shine in the dark kitchen. Tears rolled down her face as she adjusted them and looked at the necklace. She smiled through the tears as she put it on and looked at Barty and Evan.
“Thank you, you two.” She whispered as tears continued to roll down her face. She wiped her nose on the sleeve of her sweater and stood up.
“Okay. Im fine. Lets get pissed!”
Barty cheered and looked at Evan and Regulus, who rolled their eyes. Regulus went back to the paper, but Evan started helping Barty look for any liquor.
“Whats going on in the world today?” Lily asked Regulus, walking over to read over his shoulder.
“Nothing, dont read over my shoulder its fucking annoying.” He snapped.
Lily wiped her tears off her face and scoffed. Why was Regulus mad at her? She tried to think if he hated her crying. He probably did. He probably thought she was weak. Thats what she thought about herself every time she cried. She told herself that she shouldnt be crying, because she was taught when she was growing up that strong girls didnt cry. Crying was for babies, and she wasnt a baby. She was a grown woman. A grown woman who just lost her husband and son in the same night. Her best friend moved away and the other was murdered. Her other family probably hated her for the way she left them. Her sister and her horrible husband wouldnt be caught dead talking to her. Lily was all alone. She had a reason to cry, so she did. But she felt guilty.
“Found some Firewhiskey!” Barty sang, holding the bottle up high and shaking his other hand.
“Bloody hell, im going to bed. Dont be to loud.” Regulus announced, annoyed. “And Lily, were going to Hogwarts a week from today.”
That caught Lily off guard. She took a step backwards and knocked a bowl off the table, it shattered when it hit the ground.
“O-one week?” She repeated.
“One week.”
Lily nodded. Finally, she thought. She was prepared to kill Voldemort and every last one of his followers. Kill them or let the dementors kiss them. She didnt trust Azkaban anymore. Wizards kept breaking out to join Voldemort.
“Okay.”
Barty and Evan were frozen, Barty was overfilling a shot glass, letting it pour all over the counter before Evan noticed and grabbed the bottle from him.
“Okay.” Lily repeated again. She walked over to the counter where Evan and Barty were pouring shots and downed 4 of them. She winced, and then cheered. Barty laughed at her, and downed the one he had overfilled.
The three of them drank 4 bottles of Firewhiskey together that night. Evan and Barty drunkenly made out on a dare from Lily. She desperately wanted them to get together. They parties with the three of them. They were their own music. Barty sang quite a lot of ‘God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs’ at the top of his lungs and Evan tried to beatbox for him. Lily had fun forgetting her sadness. Her reindeer anters glowed the whole night and she laughed a real laugh for the first time since James died. She was happy, even if it was just the illusion of alcohol making her so.