Dear Dorcas Meadowes,
I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you so much that it is killing me to not actually write to you. I miss you so much that I can’t even listen to those muggle records you gave me last Christmas. I miss you so much I can’t bring myself to see you in the common room or corridors.
I know you left us to better yourself. I know you didn’t want this death eater lifestyle for yourself. I respect that. I respect that just like how I respected you for years because you were a great person, an even better friend, and you had the best advice. You somehow always managed to cheer me up when no one else could. You taught me how to better myself as a person, and I am so sorry that I couldn’t do that better for you. I hold everything you taught me and our friendship tightly to my heart.
I know that now, I am only holding onto memories of what used to be. I am only holding onto something that once was ours, but isn’t anymore. I am only holding onto something that I can’t bring myself to let go. That is all I can hold. Memories. Memories of a past Dorcas and Barty that no longer exist. Memories of two kids that used to skip class just to get some extra Quidditch practice before we beat Gryffindor. Memories that I will always hold onto. Memories that I wish I’d known would turn into memories before they actually did.
Even if you hate me in the future when you look back on us, if you look back on us, I hope you remember I will always be one owl away. If you look back on us I hope you remember I will always care for you.
I wish I had thought this whole death eater thing through with Evan and Regulus. Sure I wanted to disappoint my dad and they wanted to make their parents proud, but was that really the best idea we could have? I could’ve disowned myself and gone into the muggle world, Evan could’ve inherited his dad’s business, Regulus could’ve forced himself to make an heir and disown his brother publicly. Or we all just could’ve ran away from all the responsibilities. Maybe then we would all still be friends.
Anyways, I hope that new shiny friend group you’ve got treats you well, better than we ever did. I hope they show you the sun and the stars, and love you to the moon and saturn. That’s what you deserve afterall. You deserve the best. You deserve what we could never give you. I’m happy for you Cas. I really am. Just kinda wish you didn’t hate us.
From,
Barty Crouch Jr.