Regulus had just been walking around the castle trying to find his book when he somehow misplaced it in a fit of stress. It was the first time in a while he had been truly by himself without a book, so his mind began to wander without his permission.
I can't marry her; I'm gay, but no, mother disagrees and says I need to marry a nice girl. Well, fuck that. I would rather marry that Potter, even though he's a Gryffindor, Sirius's friend, and a blood traitor. I mean, who cares if he's kind of hot and a good quidditch player, and so what if I've maybe had a tiny crush on him since I was in my first year? He pisses me off. Merlin I need that book; then I could just ignore all this and escape this world. But either way, mother wants me to marry Bellatrix, but she's my cousin for fuck's sake, but toujours pur and all that. And on top of that, Snape. Fucking Snape. I mean, you know, I thought he couldn't get any worse with how bad he already was, but now he's threatening to out me? To the whole fucking school? But I should be able to figure something out there. Well, at least things can't get any worse. But you know what would make things at least more tolerable? My. Fucking. Bo-
Thud.
He ran into the wall.
"God. Fucking. Damnit." He enunciated clearly but quietly, "When did this fucking wall get here? Was it even here yesterday?" He asked no one; he was simply too pissed off to care that he probably looked insane. It was when everyone was meant to be at lunch anyway, so he figured no one would even be around.
"You know," a voice behind him started, and Regulus could have sworn his soul left his body at the noise. The person snickered at him when he jumped before continuing. "That wall has been there since I was in my first year, so I would hope it was here yesterday."
Well, it looks like things could get worse.
"Potter." He said this, trying to make his voice sound indifferent. Hoping that maybe he didn't see him just talk to a wall, knowing that he most definitely did.
"Regulus." He responded in the same tone. They just sat there in silence until Regulus thought he was composed enough to turn around and face him. He was wrong.
Regulus could have never in his life been prepared for the sight that lay before him. His hair was a mess, but it always was. His shirt was halfway tucked in, with the top button undone and his red and gold tie hanging loosely around his neck. His bronze skin was glowing in the sunlight streaming in from the windows, and his glasses were perfectly clean but slightly crooked on his face.
Everyone is doing it wrong. He thought scornfully. They're worshiping someone up above in the sky when the real God is right here, standing in front of me.
"Fuck me." Regulus mumbled but quickly put a hand over his mouth as he realized that he had said that out loud. Potter just laughed at his response but thankfully didn't mention it.
"So, why're you so pissed off at a wall?" He asked with a teasing lilt in his voice.
"I'm not." Regulus said under his breath. Still upset that someone saw him snap at a wall.
"Okay… Then where are you going? Why aren't you having lunch?" He asked in confusion. Regulus thought he could hear a hint of worry, but he wasn't sure.
"Not hungry." He responded, looking down at his skinny frame. Stress made him feel sick, and when he went to breakfast this morning, he promptly threw it back up in their dormitory's toilet. He was just thankful he had Evan and Barty to pull his hair back and sit with him on the cold bathroom floor. "Plus, I lost my book a few hours ago, so I figured now was a good time to look for it when the castle was empty. Why aren't you at lunch?" He asked.
"I was just using the restroom when I saw you run into the wall." He said slowly before shaking his head as if attempting to rid himself of an unwanted thought. "What book did you lose? How did you even lose it?" He asked with a slight tilt of his head.
"Well, as far as I'm aware, that's none of your business, Potter." He spat, suddenly defensive.
He does not need to know I was reading Sweet Savage Love by Rosemary Rogers.
"Okay, okay." He said, but he seemed to falter for a moment, and Regulus was sure he saw worry flash on his face this time. "Are you okay?"
Regulus looked away at this question. He never liked that question.
"Yes Potter I'm fine, if you must know, but I'm not sure why you would be concerned about my well-being." He replied, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably. Regulus looked back at the other man and saw apprehension in his features, as if he were debating whether or not to say something. "Well, out with it."
Potter looked surprised at this statement. "What?" He asked dumbly.
"You look like you want to say something. So say it. It can't be worse than anything I've already heard." He replied numbly.
"What? No- no. No, it's not... It's not like that. I just want to help you." He said it quickly, getting quieter towards the end of the statement. Regulus' breath hitched when he finished, though.
He, James Potter, Gryffindor, quidditch captain, the person who is at the moment housing my brother, wants to help me, Regulus Black.
They both stayed quiet for a long time after that before Regulus finally asked the question that had been swimming around his brain since James said that.
"Why?" Was the only thing Regulus could think to say.
"Because you don't deserve what your parents are doing? Because you deserve all the good things in the world? Because you deserve to have someone care about you? Need I go on?" He said that, and Regulus was searching his face for some kind of lie, but he couldn't find any.
Of course, James Potter would say that. Of course he would because he's such a good person and such an asshole, and I lov-
Regulus was suddenly brought out of his thoughts by him speaking again.
"Please let me help you." He said it softly, almost seeming shy, and Regulus quickly found that he would do anything James asked of him.
"Okay James." He said in the same tone, The book now long forgotten. For a reason Regulus didn't know, this statement caused James's head to shoot up.
"What? Okay?" He asked with wide eyes, the shock evident in his voice.
"Yes, ok. I'll let you help me if you still want to." He wasn't meeting James's eyes and was suddenly very interested in the floor.
Has he already decided against it?
But Regulus' question was quickly answered as he heard James' footsteps approach him before a calloused finger gently lifted his face up from where he was staring at the ground.
He was expecting to see a smirk; he figured James was kidding, and he would tell him just that, maybe go make fun of him to his friends. You can imagine the shock on Regulus's face when he looked up to see James smiling softly and sincerely before saying
"Of course I still want to help you, Regulus; I just didn't think it would be that easy. You are known to be quite stubborn." He said laughing softly, making Regulus push him a bit but not enough to actually move him. James kept his hand under his chin, forcing him to keep eye contact, leaving only a few inches between their faces. Without thinking, Regulus closes the small amount of space between them, and James simply freezes. The minute Regulus realizes what he's done, he stops and promptly backs against the wall he had been swearing at not even 5 minutes ago.
"James, Merlin, I'm so sorry, James. I just didn't think, and, well, if you don't want to help me, that would be fine. I would underst-" Regulus was speaking quickly before James cut him off with a soft kiss.
Regulus didn't hesitate before kissing him back, but he thought that it was over all too quickly as the other man pulled away and James rested his forehead against Regulus's.
"I've wanted to do that for years." He laughed softly.
"Then why did you stop?" Regulus asked back petulantly, raising an eyebrow at him. Again, James laughed and simply pulled away, grabbing Regulus's hand and leading him towards the great hall for lunch.
"Come on, love, you've barely eaten in the past week, and lunch isn't over yet." Regulus wanted to ask how James knew he hadn't been eating, but he didn't get the chance because once he had processed the fact that James called him "love", they were at the great hall. As James pushed open the doors, Regulus remembered something.
"You have to help me find my book after lunch." He said
"I thought you said it was none of my business?" He replied teasingly.
"Yes, well, I've changed my mind. Now, c'mon, let's go inside." He said, smiling a real smile for the first time in a long, long time because, for the first time, it seemed like maybe, just maybe, things would work out for him.