fight club pt 2
-MONDAY-
[over it]
15:15
padfoot: hey i just wanted to touch base after our conversation on Saturday
padfoot: i know i kinda dropped a lot of bombs on you
moony: yeah you did
moony: but i’ve been doing some thinking
padfoot: and?
moony: well thinking isn’t something that i do often so it’s taking me a while
padfoot: um
moony: i just think we both need more time
padfoot: ok
[absent sanity]
18:12
dorcas: HEY GIRLFRIEND
marlene: HEY GIRLFRIEND
dorcas: COME OVER GIRLFRIEND
marlene: OK GIRLFRIEND
marlene: I’M RUNNING THROUGH THE STREETS GIRLFRIEND!
dorcas: DON’T DO THAT GIRLFRIEND!
marlene: TOO LATE GIRLFRIEND!
[james + lily]
18:32
[james changed the chat name from <james + lily> to <JILY>]
lily: AW THAT’S SO CUTE
james: :) it’s us
lily: how’s your day my love
james: a lot better now
james: yours?
lily: pretty good! classes are going well
james: i’m glad! but i do in fact have another reason for contacting you
lily: which is?
james: it’s time to scheme
lily: THIS IS WHY I’M WITH YOU
james: sirius has been moping around the flat for the past week and i’m sick of it
james: now i get how he felt when you hated me
lily: oops
james: anyway
james: i want him to be happy again and also remus is chainsmoking and also he showed up to class today so fucking high so we need to fix this
lily: are we meddling?
james: we’re meddling
lily: YES!
[without r + s]
18:58
james: it’s operation get remus and sirius back together
peter: were they ever together?
marlene: peter my love you are so behind
peter: yeah…
lily: so basically
lily: we’re going to have another fight night and everyone else needs to claim partners before remus and sirius can claim theirs so that they’re forced to fight
mary: i do not see how this is gonna fix anything
james: 1. sirius thinks it’s hot when remus fights
james: 2. they can work out their issues
marlene: with all due respect remus is going to KILL sirius
james: you’d be surprised at how good sirius is at fighting
lily: yeah he ALMOST took me out last time
james: everyone claim partners AS SOON AS i text in the main chat are we ready???
marlene: do it
[fight club]
19:10
prongs: FIGHT NIGHT ON THURSDAY EVERYONE CLAIM PARTNERS
prongs: I’M FIGHTING PETER
marlener: FIGHTING LILY
mcdonalds: FIGHTING DORCAS
ginge: wow so great! looks like the only duo left is remus and sirius
dorky: sounds great! what time shall we show up james?
prongs: 7pm! i’ll order pizza and have drinks!
marlener: yay! so fun!
padfoot: what is going on
prongs: here are the duels!
- mary and dorcas
- james and peter
- lily and marlene
- remus and sirius
moony: you are not being fr rn
prongs: being very for real!
moony: i’m not going i’m busy and also i’m sick
padfoot: what with my brother?
moony: don’t make it sound so lewd
prongs: FIGHT NIGHT FIGHT NIGHT
moony: bare knuckle?
-THURSDAY-
[JILY]
12:01
lily: this is the best day of my life
james: sirius won’t talk to me but he’ll thank me later
lily: i am quite literally shaking i cannot wait
james: you do know that you have to fight marlene right
lily: i can beat her up
james: u sure?
lily: i can beat her up AS LONG AS she’s not coked up
james: lmao
lily: also if we think that things between sirius and remus are going to get a bit… heated, you can come over after fight night
james: perf
james: c u l8er
[over it]
15:33
padfoot: so what are we actually doing this
padfoot: or are we gonna boycott
moony: it was rly not the smartest thing for them to tell us before hand
moony: i’m feeling a little… sick
padfoot: are you actually?
moony: no it’s a bit
moony: u know tho it is being hosted at ur flat. how r u gonna get out of that
padfoot: idk
padfoot: i don’t rly have other friends
padfoot: maybe i’ll go to the library
moony: do you know where it is?
padfoot: well like no but i can look it up
moony: i was trying to get you to suggest it but i guess everythings up to me
moony: come over later
padfoot: is that a good idea?
moony: have we ever had a singular good idea
padfoot: good point
padfoot: i’ll come over
moony: great
moony: i get home at 5 so whenever after that
padfoot: ok
[h8ers]
17:12
jamie: nice try dipshit i caught sirius leaving the flat now he’s in boxing ring jail
jamie: and you’re the only one who can bail him out
remussy: can you let me deal with my own problems pls
jamie: no because you’re emotionally constipated and don’t know how to handle your own feelings
remussy: i like being emotionally constipated. it’s what gives me my sparkle
jamie: well your sparkle is ruining everyone else’s vibe
remussy: i’m not coming
jamie: you will.
remussy: no i won’t? the fuck?
jamie: yes you will.
jamie: because i have the one thing that matters the most
remussy: i’m not into that sappy shit sirius is NOT the thing that matters the most to me
jamie: oh i know that
jamie: i got peter to steal everything in your stash
remussy: WHAT THE FUCK JAMES
remussy: HOW DID PETER FIND IT
jamie: remus. be so fr. it was in your sock drawer.
remussy: you are evil evil evil and i’m going to End peter
jamie: it’s a trade. you fight sirius and he gets out of jail and you get your drugs.
remussy: deal
jamie: addict
remussy: stfu
[fight night]
19:00
prongs: FIGHT NIGHT IS STARTING AND IT’S A MIRACLE EVENING
prongs: LILY AND MARLENE ARE ON TIME AND REMUS AND PETER ARE LATE
marlener: i’m not missing this
wormtail: remus and i are on the way!
wormtail: he almost killed me but we’re okay now!
moony: and i’ll kill anyone else who looks at me wrong
prongs: he’s fine he’s just hasn’t had cocaine in a few hours that’s really rare for him
moony: AHHHHHHH
prongs: those are his voices
moony: i’m gonna make you hear voices
prongs: save that for sirius
dorky: here!!!
[without r + s]
20:23
marlene: HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
james: guys when they start snogging we have to act surprised
mary: this is the best day of my life. The. Best. Day.
marlene: bruv put me in the middle of them
dorcas: be done.
lily: PHONES DOWN IT’S STARTING
20:54
james: and i’m always right aren’t I????
james: remus gets his drugs, sirius gets his phone, and everything goes back to normal :)
lily: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
[loml]
23:12
siriu: hey i know i was pissed at you earlier but
siriu: thx i guess
jamie: ofc
jamie: anything for you my love
siriu: we did just have to fight it out
jamie: so did you get some?
siriu: mate i got some SO GOOD
jamie: so happy for you
siriu: remus lupin Casanova he is insane in bed like literally insane
jamie: i don’t need the details
siriu: like he does this thing where he kinda flips me over and like
jamie: DO NOT CONTINUE
siriu: :(
jamie: :)
-FRIDAY-
[fight night]
13:38
wormtail: does anybody wanna join my Minecraft server
marlener: yeah
prongs: sign me tf up
16:13
ginge: guys i’m currently looking at my grades
ginge: and i’m thinking we need a study night
ginge: midterms are coming up
padfoot: but it’s friday it’s my ket night
prongs: padfoot you have never once done ket
padfoot: how do you know
moony: no i agree i need to study
padfoot: NERD
moony: hop off my dick
ginge: i have an idea
ginge: we can make it a game
ginge: like you know how some people reward themselves after they finish an assignment
ginge: let’s do that but with a drink
ginge: and keep working until we’re too bladdered to continue and then go clubbing!
dorky: lily you’re an alcoholic
marlener: that’s studying i can get on board with
prongs: with all due respect this is not studying
ginge: okay well i have top marks and club three days a week so i make the rules
moony: university fears me
mcdonalds: i fear you
prongs: remus likes to take my adderall and then pretend that he didn’t
moony: i have never done that ever
prongs: see?!?!??!??!?!
dorky: let’s just go clubbing
dorky: lily and remus can do their nerd shit and we’ll do cool fun cool people shit
padfoot: yeah
prongs: cool people come over around 8 for the pregame. nerds can come at 11.
ginge: james.
prongs: nerds can come whenever they want!!!!!!
ginge: i’m omw
prongs: this is the best day of my life
padfoot: moony you can come over whenever
moony: don’t wanna
[over it]
16:25
padfoot: come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over come over
moony: k
[fight club]
16:29
prongs: i’m at the store rn do any of you need anything
padfoot: cocaine and adderall and tequila and sangria and four tangerines and ketamine and a pack of cigs with the fucked up babies on the front
prongs: idk what type of store you think i’m going to
moony: you don’t need to buy anything i’m at tesco express
prongs: i give up
20:01
wormtail: here
20:10
mcdonalds: here
21:34
marlener: here
padfoot: shit we forgot to sya hat the marlene time was
23:32
marlener: CALLING EVERYONE CALLING EVERYONE WE ARE LEAVING FOR THE CLUB
marlener: DON’T MAKE ME WALK IN THERE REMUS AND SIRIUS
marlener: plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls
padfoot: coming
marlener: YOU’RE DOING WHAT
padfoot: bad joke not funny
00:14
mcdonalds: GUYS YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHOS EHRER
mcdonalds: BARTY FYUCKMING CORUCH JR
moony: omg
padfoot: ok so can we force remus and barty got go near each other b ci missed the fight latsz rimne and i really wanna se. ti
moony: I GOT ARRESTED
padfoot: and it was sexy okay
padfoot: where ared yhouj
[bros b4 hoes]
00:16
jamie: your brother is here
siriu: i need to leave
jamie: don’t you wanna talk to him?
siriu: jamie i just took three shots in a row and snorted a couple liknes i am not seeing my brother rn
siriu: fuck it’s his birthday
jamie: shit
[over it]
00:20
padfoot: where are you
moony: i’m hiding
padfoot: where
moony: out back
padfoot: my brother is here
moony: do you wanna leave?
padfoot: yes pls
moony: okay let’s go
[fight club]
00:26
padfoot: remus and i are leaving
marlener: LAME
padfoot: we’re gonna go fuck
marlener: can i come
dorky: i’m losing my marbles
[regulus + sirius]
03:33
sirius: happy birthday!
04:12
regulus: fuck you