Jokes and Runaway Blokes
Remus
Remus loved the bookshop cafe he and his colleagues built. He did. It reminded him of a haven of sorts for those book-inclined lovers like himself.
What he didn’t love entirely as much, was the occasional group of loud teens that graced his presence now and again like today as such.
No matter, however, he was currently doing a job he was extremely passionate about instead of being stuck in some old stuffy office. It also didn’t hurt that his two best mates, Dorcas and Reg, were accompanying him on the journey. He considered them family at this point, what with the constant bickering between the three of them.
All in good fun, but he was truly grateful to have them by his side. They understood him like no one else seemed to or had been able to. They were practically joined at the hip so often that some of the shop’s patrons started calling them The Three Musketeers. They even had a little Saturday night ritual, where the three would close up shop early and then proceed to walk down to the local video store and pick up food on the way back to one of their flats. That was until the two canceled at the last minute.
“Remus we really are sorry, we love the tradition as much as you but some complications came up tonight,” Dorcas said, chasing after him as he moved around the shop, getting everything into order.
“Dorcas for the millionth time, it’s quite alright I hold no qualm against you two. Neither of you, I understand that an old high school friend of yours has dropped by Cas and I understand that your roommate Barty is off his rocker Reg. When is he not?” Remus replied, finally turning towards the two of them.
“Are you sure? I can always ask if Evan will be alright with taking care of him for the night.” Reg asked, next to Dorcas.
“Will you two be on your way already? I am quite capable of closing up shop by myself tonight.”
“Alright, alright we’re leaving but don’t hesitate to call if we’re needed!” Dorcas called as she made her way to the shop’s door with Reg in tow.
“We both know he’s too stubborn to do such, but goodbye Remus. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
And with that, the two were finally gone and so was that headache Remus had slowly started to develop.
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Without the two constantly nagging him about one thing or another, Remus was frankly starting to get a bit bored. Plus the shop was nearly empty minus the few stragglers, so there was no shame in closing early.
After helping the last few customers, Remus gathered his belongings and set off into the night. It was a little chillier than he had originally imagined but no matter, he didn’t mind a slight breeze. Seeing as how his plans for the night had fallen through, there wasn’t much to do to occupy his time. So he decided to proceed with tonight’s plans even though it was just him.
He was coming around the corner from the usual takeout spot and headed towards the video store when he spotted a man sitting down on the side of the road.
This is usually the part where Remus doesn’t approach the stranger in black but he couldn’t help but want to. Something radiating off the man was so alluring and Remus couldn’t help but give in. So he approached the man cautiously and was planning to ask if he was alright out here on his own but was interrupted before he could.
“Listen, mate, I may look like a helpless fool but I can still kick your ass. So don’t even try and attempt to fuck with me.”
The voice coming from the man caught Remus more than off guard but the reply was more than enough to sober him back up.
” Excuse me? I was planning to ask if you were going to sit out here all night in the cold doing God knows what, or if you wanted to take an actual fighting chance against the frostbite and join me for a later supper. But seeing as how you’re doing quite alright for yourself, I’ll be on my way.”. Normally Remus isn’t as rude but what the man said irked him. All he was trying to do was be a Good Samaritan and instead, he gets chewed out by a drunk. He began to walk away when the man calls him back and takes him up on his offer.
Remus knows he should more than likely say it isn’t available anymore due to the man’s previous rudeness but the way the man’s opal-colored eyes were shining at him in the moonlight, was more than enough to break his resolve. So he allowed to stranger to come back to his place only hoping that the man wasn’t some kind of serial killer who was playing the victim.
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When they finally entered Remus’s flat, the man next to him collapsed as Remus made his way to the kitchen. He was worried for a slight second before he realized the man was only faking and putting on a small dramatic show. Remus decided to call him out on it in a way to break the ice of sorts. The man took kindly to that and the two started bickering for a moment while Remus plated the food.
When he was finally ready, he called the man over from where he was residing to join him at the table. It wasn’t much but he genuinely hoped the man did like it seeing as Remus had a sudden strong urge to impress his impromptu house guest. If the man digging into his food was any sign, it was safe to say he enjoyed it despite it only being takeout.
He tried to strike up a conversation with the man but it was a bit hard to continue when he was intoxicated and his sentences were becoming less and less coherent for Remus to understand. So as any good host would, he showed the man the guest room he had and told him he was more than welcome to stay there for the night if he so pleased.
The stranger more than less jumped on the bed as soon as Remus showed it to him and appeared to be out like a light when he came back to check on the man before heading off to bed himself.
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When Remus awoke, it was a little before seven. He got up the bed groaning slightly at the small flare up he was experiencing and went off in search of his medication. He thankfully found it right where he left it and just as he was about to take it, he noticed a pair of boots that weren’t his own and the memories of last night came flooding back.
Wondering if the man was still there, he slowly opened the old door and peeked inside. Much to his surprise there the man was, nearly engulfed in the blankets that lay on the bed. What kind of host would Remus be if he didn’t make breakfast for the man in order to help with the oncoming hangover? He was raised better than this. So that is what he set off to do.
He made a simple breakfast nothing more than biscuits and eggs seeing as those were the only ingredients he had in his arsenal. Right as he was wrapping up, he heard a throat clearing behind him. He nearly jumped out of his skin before turning and realizing it was only the man from last night.
” Oh god you’re as quiet as a cat.” Remus said, clutching his heart in an attempt to keep it from jumping out of his chest.
When he looked up to meet the man’s eyes, it was clear the man was already looking into his. Deeply he might add.
When the man finally spoke, he said, “I’m more of a dog person actually.”. As if Remus couldn’t tell by the dog tattoo he was sporting on his right forearm, but Remus decided not to bring it up.
“Oh. Well, it’s a good thing you’re up anyhow. I was starting to believe you were dead after our conversation last night.” is what Remus said instead. The look of confusion on the man’s face was evident and Remus could tell that the man barely remembered anything from the night prior.
Which is why when the man asked who Remus was and what occurred last night, he wasn’t too surprised. So like any normal person, Remus decided to mess with him a bit.
” Damn and here I was thinking you remembered the passionate kiss we shared in the moonlight like a fool. Shame on me.”
The look on tbe man’s face was absolutely priceless. Gold in a pure form honestly. If the man didn’t look as mortified as he did, Remus would’ve down right laughed.
” I’m kidding, I’m kidding. You can close your mouth now. You’ll catch flies if you don’t,” Remus said starting to plate some food and put the man out of his misery, “and If you’re so worried about last night well I can tell you for guaranteed that all we did is share some takeout after I picked your drunken ass up off the curb. You’re welcome by the way.”, Remus couldn’t help but add. After clearing up the confusion and a thank you was exchanged, some color returned to the man’s face. Well as much color as you can get when you’re a bit on the paler side.
This would more than likely be a good time as any to introduce and which is what Remus was about to do before he was interrupted by the man gathering his belongings and heading towards the door.
“I’m truly sorry, but I really should be going now. My friends must be extremely worried. I appreciate the hospitality you have shown me and for not killing me in the wee hours but I must be going.” the man says, as he’s turning away from Remus and nearly sprinting out his door.
Remus tried to call out to the man but by then it was too late and he was already gone off into the early morning. Maybe the damsel in distress was a bit much for the man.
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Trying to shake off what happened earlier in the morning and the night before, Remus went down to the shop as usual to start getting ready before opening.
But as he was trying to put the events behind him, Dorcas and Reg came in and could instantly tell something was off. Curse them and their friendship intuition. It wasn’t long before they got the vents out of him, and let’s just say they weren’t entirely pleased.
“So let me get this straight,” Reg starts, pinching his nose, “you invited a complete and utterly intoxicated stranger into your home. All because he seemed helpless?”
“Yes?” Remus, replied shrugging as he started to unpack the shipments and place them in their respective spots.
“Remus you could’ve been hurt or worse. Did you not think about-“
“At least you’re alright Remus. We wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.” Dorcas said, interrupting Reg, “Isn’t that right Reggie?”
“Yeah I guess.” Reg grumbled.
“Great well now you lot are caught up on my riveting adventure. Can we please open the shop now?” Remus asked from somewhere behind one of the bookshelves.
“Yes, yes grandpa. We’re going don’t you worry.” Cas laughed over her shoulder and making her way towards the door.
“Hey! I’ll have you know these jumpers are extremely comfortable and fashion forward.” Remus said, defending himself.
“Of course they are Remus. Your little jumpers are just adorable. Honestly,” Reg said while mouthing something to Cas that Remus couldn’t see.
“Traitors both of you I say!” They would have to continue this lovely conversation later seeing as how a customer had just walked in.
“Welcome to The Resting Joint. Please take your time in browsing around and don’t hesitate to ask any questions.” Remus said, making his way to the back of the counter.
“Oh you’ve got to be bloody kidding me.”