Letters to an Old Poet

The floorboards creaked beneath her feet as Andromeda slipped cautiously down the hallway. It had taken her some time to will herself to get out of the bed and change into something respectable, especially with her aching body.

It was almost always there. A dull ache weaving through every fiber of her being. Then there were the odd spots that decided to explode at random. Lifting her leg to step down the first step of the grand staircase, her thigh twinged beneath her.

Stumbling forward, Andromeda grasped the railing for support.

Andromeda took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing, trying to ignore the pain. After a few moments, the pain subsided, and she felt more steady on her feet. She continued down the staircase, one step at a time, her hand gripping the railing tightly. She reached the bottom of the stairs and paused, unsure of where to go next.

"What are you doing? Are you okay?" a voice asked from the bottom of the stairs. Andromeda looked up to see Bellatrix standing there, glaring up at her with an expression of disapproval.

"I'm fine," Andromeda replied through gritted teeth.

"You don't look fine," her sister said bluntly. "You need to pull yourself together and stop behaving like a child, Fumbling around like you're just learning to walk."

Andromeda felt a pang of hurt and anger. She knew Bella must understand what she was going through, which only made it hurt more to be dismissed so easily like this was normal. Like anything that happened in this house was normal.

She took a deep breath and straightened her back, pushing against the banister to steady herself.

"I'll be fine," she said, her voice steady. It was more of an affirmation to herself than anything else.

With that, she brushed past Bellatrix.

Andromeda's sister glared at her as she walked away. "You can't just run away from your problems," she called after her. "You need to face them head on, like a proper Black."

Andromeda gritted her teeth, biting back from confronting her sister. She felt a deep rage toward her, a burning within the minute she saw her face. That smirk and those taunting eyes.

Clearly, her statements were targeted. But why? What had happened? Everywhere she turned, all Andromeda was reminded of was the fact that she didn't remember.

Continuing down the hallway, flatter ground was easier to walk across so she relinquished her supporting grasp and tried to pull herself into some semblance of a young woman.

As she walked down the hallway, Andromeda couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. The intricate patterns on the walls seemed to twist and turn, almost as if they were alive. She shivered and looked around, but saw no one, not even Bellatrix. Her sister had disappeared off to torment someone else probably. The light filtering through the windows cast eerie shadows on the floor, and she quickened her pace, feeling a sense of dread creeping up on her.

Finally reached the dining room, pausing for a moment, bracing herself for whatever cruel words or mocking laughter to come.

Wrapping her boney fingers around the frigid doorknob, she pushed the door open to reveal her family sat at the table, breakfast had already started.

The room fell silent for a moment as she entered. She could feel their eyes on her, judging her every move. She tried to keep her head up, but her confidence wavered as her father stood up and walked towards her. He sneered at her, and she knew that she was in for another round of verbal abuse.

Her father's voice was cold and menacing as he berated her for her failures, listing every mistake she had ever made with enough vagueness to keep her in the dark. Druella and Narcissa sat quietly, picking off their plates and watching , as if they were enjoying the spectacle.

"Look who decided to join us," her father said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You're late, as usual."

"I'm sorry, Father," she replied quietly, trying to keep her tone respectful.

"You're always sorry, but it never changes anything," he sneered. "You're a disgrace to this family with your tardiness."

Her mother and Narcissa sat silently, avoiding eye contact with her. She felt her anger rising, but knew better than to argue with her father. She bowed her head and listened as he continued his tirade, listing every mistake she had ever made.

"Are you even listening to me?" he demanded, grabbing her arm roughly.

"Yes, Father," she said, trying to pull away.

"You're useless," he spat. "You'll never amount to anything if you don't get yourself together!"

Andromeda felt her face grow hot with anger and humiliation, but she knew better than to argue. She bowed her head and listened as her father continued his tirade, feeling as if she were trapped in a nightmare from which she could not wake up.
Seemingly, meeting the end on his grand list of insults, Cygnus paused.

Sliding his grasp from her arm up to her shoulder with a softening of face. "Now, come eat with us."

Gee, thanks dad. Good morning to you too.

Andromeda nodded softly and followed her father back over to the regal black table, taking her seat across from her sister.

Only moments later, a small house elf appeared with a breakfast tray for her and she silently accepted. Keeping her eyes down at her food to avoid meeting her family's eyes.

As she ate, she could feel the weight of their stares upon her. Andromeda knew that they were judging her, analyzing her every move. She tried to ignore them, focusing on her food instead, but the silence in the room was deafening. She longed to escape, to run away from this suffocating atmosphere, but she knew that she had to stay. Her parents would not allow her to leave until they was finished with her.

Finally, her father spoke again, his voice cold and unyielding. "Andromeda, I have received an invitation to a ball at the Malfoy's estate at the end of next week. I expect you to attend and represent our family with grace and dignity."

Andromeda felt a wave of panic wash over her. She hated these social events, where she was forced to mingle with the other pure-blood families and put on a show of politeness and charm. She knew that her father expected her to marry well, although her engagement had yet to be finalized, to secure a powerful alliance that would benefit the family, but she had no interest in such things. Andromeda longed for a life of her own, where she could pursue her own dreams and passions.

"Of course, Father," she said softly, her voice barely above a whisper. The emptiness inside her began to claw up her throat.

"Good," he said, his expression softening slightly. "I expect great things from you, Andromeda. Don't disappoint me."

"On the subject of important things to come," Druella butted in. "Girls, we must go check the fitting for your bridesmaids' dresses tomorrow."

Bridesmaids?

"Your sister's wedding is only a few weeks away, and we need to make sure everything is in order."

Andromeda nodded, feeling a sense of dread wash over her. Looking over to Narcissa who seemed to be growing as increasingly pale as herself.

"We need to make sure that everything is perfect," her mother continued. "The flowers, the food, the music. And we need to make sure that Bellatrix is ready to join us with the Lestrange family."

Andromeda nodded, trying to hide her growing unease. She knew what her mother was really saying. This wasn't just a wedding, it was a political alliance. Her parents were determined to marry all their daughters off to pureblood families to grow their status and keep the line pure, and they had been eyeing the Lestrange family for some time now.

If not for the Malfoys intervening, Andromeda herself would probably be set to marry Rabastian, becoming a Lestrange alongside her sister. Even though neither suitor was who she wished to be with, arguably Rabastian was the lesser evil. Typical, that her luck landed her with a bleach-blonde weasel.

“We shall trouble over that later but for now eat up, Andromeda,” Druella commanded, snapping her out of a momentary stupor of thought.

Breakfast continued mostly in silence. It was better that way. Occasionally, Andromeda dared look up from her plate to meet Narcissa’s gaze from across the table. She looked okay, uncomfortable and on edge of course but other than that, Cissa looked okay. That was good. She was okay.

She always was. Narcissa was good at flying under the radar, dreading the day their parents finally focused attention on her. The day “perfect Cissy” wasn’t enough.

In truth, Narcissa was the best of the three of them and if their parents had paid her any mind, they’d see her merits and probably disown the other two and channel all their energy into this little flower they didn't really raise.

However sick and twisted, Andromeda had always envied her sisters' natural ability to disappear. Even now at the table, she tried to mimic her body language and intention to try and melt into the scene. She loved her baby sister, but not here. At this table they could barely acknowledge each other and it hurt but it was safer for the both of them.

After a painful silence under searing eyes, finally, the plates were cleared and the room was dismissed.