Chapter 1
"I think we should break up"
These were not the words that Draco Malfoy wanted to hear out of the mouth of his fiancee. Sitting across from him in a quaint tea shop off of Diagon Alley, Astoria Greengrass- soon to be Malfoy, dumped the words on Draco's head and then sat with cheeks flushed and eyes watering waiting for his response. Draco was still for a moment, biscuit raised mid air and his mouth gaping open in shock. He dropped the biscuit to his plate and dusted the crumbs off of his fingers while his mind whirred to process his situation.
"You think we should break up?"
"I'm so sorry"
"Tori"
"I'm sorry"
"Tori, our rehearsal is in two hours"
"I know"
"Our families are gathering as we speak"
"I know"
"To a venue that you chose”
“I know”
“Wearing colors that you picked out, and carrying flowers that you wanted”
“I know”
Her responses were coming out as sobs now and Draco felt heat creeping up his neck onto his face.
“Stop saying you know!”
“I’m sorry” she rasped and for a beat they stared at each other.
“Why?” he said quietly searching her face for some kind of explanation, maybe it was just cold feet. Any moment now she would see how ridiculous she sounded and they would laugh it off and start the rest of their lives just as they had planned.
“I- “ she paused, perhaps grasping for an explanation for her ludicrous behavior.
“Tori, do you not like our life?”
“Of course I do!” she spat defensively”
“Do you not love me?”
There was a pause, a teeny tiny pause, barely noticeable, just enough for Draco's heart to plummet and crash onto the floor.
“Of course I do!”
Draco felt himself grasping for the right thing to say. When the exact right words alluded him he found himself scanning the room, patrons averted their gaze and he realized their conversation hadn’t gone unnoticed by most of the shop. Draco was too buried in shock to care that this was a truly humiliating way to be dumped by his should-be bride. Still, he lowered his voice and let his hand fall reassuringly onto where hers was resting on the table.
“Sweetheart, let’s go home and talk about this”
“No!” she blurted as she yanked her hand from his “I’m sorry, but no!” She took an exaggerated breath and continued “It has to be here, I told myself I wouldn’t go back there with you, because if I do, I’ll let you convince me to stay. You’ll look at me with those eyes and I’ll let you seduce me, and it will be so good I will forget how I feel right now, and it will be all wrong”
“What will be all wrong Tori? Us? I thought you loved me and our life, you said you wanted to marry me” Draco was trying to keep a calm and collected tone but his pulse was racing, he felt his demeanor start to spiral and his sense of control was spiraling with it.
“You’re making this so difficult” she spat the words out between sobs.
“Well I am so sorry darling, that I am making this inconvenient for you” he hissed. He closed his eyes in a futile attempt at collecting himself then forced them open to meet hers. He would not let this entire tea shop see him break and for some reason he wouldn’t let her see it either. Just ten minutes ago she was the one person he felt he could let his guard down for, and suddenly he felt that if she saw him break, if she heard his voice crack, then he would be truly irreversibly defeated and he refused to let that happen.
“I’m going to get my things and then I am going to stay at Daphne’s” the words sounded rehearsed and there was a finality in her tone. “Please give me some space to do this and when we are in a better headspace we can talk about our shared assets.”
Draco was at a loss, it really wasn’t fair was it? That she had time to practice this entire interaction, and he was feeling like an utter fool, that while he had been jaunting about town readying for their wedding she was making her own plans to leave him at the altar. Perhaps he should be grateful that she was doing this in a tea shop and not in front of their dearly beloveds.
“Tori” he said slowly “Can you please just tell me why”
She lifted both hands to her face and smeared the tears from her eyes and gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. “I think you’re just not the one, it feels like you’re almost the one, but not it.” She sniffled a bit but her tears were already drying as she went on. “Like… I feel like you’re almost the love of my life, but maybe the real one is out there somewhere and I- I think I’m saving us both from settling for this second best happily ever after”
Draco felt a tightness in his chest and fought the stinging that was building behind his eyes. His stomach, which was still on the floor, twisted and turned into a tight familiar knot. This feeling was familiar and a sense of foreboding swept over him. Second best, almost the one, almost… It felt like a cruel joke really, that fate must be playing on him, that he get this close again to happiness- to getting exactly what he wanted only for it to be yanked out of his grasp at the last possible moment. Suddenly he couldn’t be here anymore, he couldn’t look at her face, couldn’t hear her voice or even sense her presence in front of him. He’d been through this exact series of events so many times in different scenarios for what felt like his entire life. He knew exactly how to get through the disappointment and heartbreak that crashed through his mind. He took a breath and found a fixed point on the wall just behind her head and started cataloging the afternoon's events as they had transpired from the moment he entered the tea shop. He could see them in his mind separated into freeze frames and he yanked open the ever growing cabinet of grief. He blinked and occluded this conversation neatly into the cabinet before shoving his emotions in with it and slamming the door shut. Having now collected himself he was able to revert his focus back to her eyes and in a cool even tone responded to her.
“Right, I guess thanks are in order then, thanks for saving me from the life that we built together Astoria” using her full name signaled the end to the conversation for Draco and he threw a galleon on the table while swiftly raising from his seat to leave. While making his way to the door, he noticed a gaggle of young wizards bumbling down the street with a large bottle of firewhiskey and spouting their plans for a night of reverie. In just a few long strides he was out the door of the tea shop and approaching the group. He yanked the bottle of whiskey out of the hands of the youngster holding it and shoved a handful of galleons into its place before he could respond. Draco yanked the top of the bottle and continued down Diagon Alley taking long swigs of it as he walked. As he left the gaggle in the dust he could hear their whoops of laughter at the absurdity of the interaction but he didn’t care.
A short time later, Draco was shit faced and still wandering the street. He just wanted to feel something other than the onslaught of dread assaulting him at every turn. He wanted to forget his life, he had occluded the conversation with Astoria but could he occlude their entire life? Could he occlude their beautiful townhouse with the library of books they had both curated to reflect their tastes as a couple? Their kitchen where they’d entertained family and friends, their living room that had been filled with games and laughter and what he’d thought had been a life filled with love. The bedroom where they’d consummated their Saturday nights and spent their lazy Sunday mornings. And what of the cat, what of Tipsy? The thought of his silky fur against his cheek to wake him up on chilly winter mornings slid another blanket of sorrow over Draco and he tipped the bottle of whiskey to his lips again. His gait had become lazy as he’d woven through the streets and he staggered to a sloppy stop and threw himself onto the stoop of a friendly looking home.
“Draco Malfoy what the fuck are you doing here?” The assertive voice came from somewhere above his head and Draco turned his head to see Pansy Parkinson leaning against the doorway of her friendly looking home. “PANSY” he slurred, he rose from his slump and faced her with open arms “ Came to have a drink with you” he hiccuped and presented her with the empty whiskey bottle and a bow. “Who is it Pan? Should I call for an officer?” a waify blonde popped her head of the window and called down to them, “LUNA” Draco called to her “Come drink with us.” “Oh my god. Draco? I’ll be right down” He heard the window slide shut and the tapping of footsteps echoing inside the house. “Alright Malfoy” Pansy muttered and she threw his arm around her shoulders. Luna was quickly there on his other side and they hauled him into the house and onto the living room sofa.” “I’ll make some tea. Pan you see if you can get out of the ruffian why he’s three sheets to the wind on our doorstep the night before his wedding.” “It’s not the night before my wedding” Draco called and then in a sing songy voice he continued “I’m sure someone somewhere is getting married tomorrow but not me, I have been freed of being almost the love of her life” Luna and Pansy exchanged a glance and Luna turned toward the kitchen while pansy sat on the couch and lifted Draco's head onto her lap. “Christ Malfoy, what happened to you today?” She murmured “Tori left you?” Draco’s eyes were suddenly heavy and her words sounded far away. “She left me, I almost had her just like everything else I almost had” he mumbled as he drifted into a drunken sleep.. “Almost”.