Remus really wasn’t thinking a lot just sitting with his friends at the Gryffindor table but barty and Evan on the other hand.
They had been staring at him for two days in a row and Remus still hasn’t noticed. How can someone do smart be do oblivious?
Since staring didn’t make a difference they will have to go up to him and ask him out.
They are kinda riled up and tired of waiting so why not do it now.
Just look at how remus is stretching his arms and his jumper lights up slightly in the process of that his and makes an appearance he’s just perfect.
So their decision is quite simple atactualy. They’re gunna ask him out.
And here they go
“Hello gorgeous “
“Got any plans tonight?” We’re the first words to come out of their mouths
And judging by Remus face it worked. They really didn’t expect that.
“So what do you say? You. Us. Tonight “ Evan finished their attempt at this.
“Sure why not” Remus replied
Sirius literally choked on his water ( he doesn’t have a good relationship with it like his mermaid brother) “what?!?!”
___________________
The next morning
Evan was looking Remus up and down
“So what are we?”
“Friends” Remus replied even tho he looked as tempted as the other two guys.
Let’s say his morning started with a bit of interrogation from Sirius it went something a little like this
“So did you sleep with Evan ?”
“No” Remus answered pretty coldly
A relieved oh came out of Sirius’s mouth
“I slept with both of them “ followed pretty quickly after that. Which caused him to spit his water again ( I’m telling you it’s in the family genes ).
The next day after classes barty and Evan tried talking to him.
“Hello gorgeous “
“Looking lovely today “ they complimented him.
But it definitely didn’t go to plan because a very flustered Remus had to lock himself in an empty classroom. They didn’t understand what just happened so they decided to leave him alone for a while.
As Remus was about to get out of the classroom Sirius who saw everything knocked on the door.
Sirius had brought him his favourite chocolate. Remus was screaming internally okay nope this was all way too much for him.
___________________
The next day
Regulus sat down at breakfast with his book and looked around him. His best friends looked sad. Something was off so he followed their eyes to Remus sat at the Gryffindor table.
“I thought y’all had you fun with him you never go for the same guy twice do what’s up. “
Barty was the one to answer
“ Remus has been avoiding us for a while now “
Regulus thought that they had their fun with him already so he asked
“Didn’t you have your fun with him ?”
Both of them looked at him hopelessly and that’s when it finally hit him. They had a crush on him.
Barty started talking
“So you see…..” but regulus interrupted him
“ you have a crush on him don’t you “
As barty and Evan had been playing along in the halls Evan noticed Remus was walking next to them.
“ oh! hey. “ barty said trying to get his attention.
Remus just ignored him and pushed trough the crowd. Evan looked hurt at him ignoring them but said nothing.
Barty tired of this bullshit started dragging Evan by his hand and chasing Remus
As they caught up he pulled Remus to and empty classroom and lined him to a wall.
Remus was the one to speak
“What the hell crouch” was his response to the situation.
Barty didn’t wrap anything around his finger and cut straight to the chaise
“Why have you been ignoring us lately?”
“I don’t have to tell you anything “ was his response you would think he had no interest in them but he looked up and down them like he was ready to devour them.
Evan tried to stop barty
“ come on stop it “but barty continued
“ what aren’t you telling us ?”
“I’m still not telling you anything “Remus shot back at him but it was so clear that he liked them that it was impossible to not see it.
Bartys and Evans realisation hit them at the same time.
As Remus leaned his head to the wall he cursed himself for not hiding his feelings deeper.
The first thing that Evan said was
“You like us”
Remus was still not willing to verbally say it.
Barty still wouldn’t stop
“ oh come on you can say it”
Damn this man had no limits did he.
“ fine “ Remus said but before he could finish his sentence barty interrupted him.
“ you finally figured it out”
“ but I like Sirius too”
“Aww we’ll that’s unfortunate “ Evan finally spoke up
“Yeah unfortunate “ Remus said as he was getting up.
“ hey I was just joking, we can make it work” said Evan
Make it work?
“Yeah I mean we like you to so” barty started
“You like me?”
“Yes, was that not painfully obvious?”
Remus really thought about it but they didn’t know about his werwolf problem so he said
“Sorry but I still can’t “ and ran way
Both of them were left standing in shock trying to process what just happened.
__________________
A few days later at a Gryffindor party
Remus is talking to some of his friends, but he can’t stop thinking about them.
Barty and Evan .
They’re on the other end of the room really obviously flirting with some hufflepuff student a year younger.
Yes Remus is jealous they aren’t in a relationship but he thought that they were more than friends.
“ Remus “ one of his friends pulled him out of his thoughts.
“Hmmm what? “
“Dude your glass “
Remus looked down at his hands were he was longing his glass. Shit. The only thing left off if was a few pieces of glass.
“I’ll go and get another one “ Remus told his friends.
____________________
Meanwhile with Evan and barty
They were flirting heavily but definitely not because they were interested. Remus. They were doing this to make Remus jealous.
And I guess it worked because as they were turning around to look at him they witnessed it Remus lupin breaking a glass in his hand.
Well they got what they were trying to get. Didint they
“Shit. “Was bartys reaction to this situation
“He broke it with his bare hands” said Evan
“We’re fucked” was their final decision on the situation.
________________________
Meanwhile with Dorcas and Regulus
They’re sitting on one of the couches and talking. I guess it wasn’t hard to notice what was happening between the three.
Dorcas looked and regulus
“Damage control?”
“Yes” regulus answered and made his way next to Remus with a new drink in hand.
“Someone’s having a good night “
He started as he sat down next to Remus
“Thanks “ said Remus laying on the sarcasm so thick
“Looks like they got over everything pretty quickly “
“No”
“They’ve been miserable all week”
“But regulus they don’t know “
“Oh about your problem. Well why won’t you tell them?”
“Cause I’d rather not tell them than have my heart broken in the end.”
“Look give them a chance maybe they’ll surprise you. Oh look here they come! Talk.”
“Looks like someone’s enjoying their night ?”
Remus glared at him
“ you almost seems like your jealous”
“But you can’t be jealous because we’re just-“
“Don’t call us friends.”
“Oh so what are we mister lupin?”
“Fine let’s go outside for a bit “ Remus looked quite anxious.
Barty and Evan exchange looks that pretty much said all that they’re thinking.
“So what’s been going on?” Evan started
“Have you changed your mind about linking us or?”
“No I swear that’s not it”
“Oh so are we not good enough for you?
“I’m a werewolf ! Okay?!”
“I’m.. I- I’m a werewolf “
“What??!?!?” Evan looked surprised and Remus understood why it’s not like you get news like that everyday.
“Is this some kind of joke or what?” Asked barty
“No it’s…. Just forget it “
"woah, hey! no running away again okay? just-…. give us a minute”
Barty and Evan looked at each other and barty continued
"so what, this affects you like... once a month?”
"I mean... more or less" Remus answered really not sure we’re the conversation is going.
"and you like US.. all month long?" And cocky barty is back
" yes? wait what?" Remus still wasn’t fully aware of what he’s saying
"listen, we don't really know much about werewolves other than what we've been taught…so would our beautiful boyfriend mind explaining to us how it affects him?" Evan looked so honest saying it.
"and how we can make it as easy as possible for him?"Barty finished the sentence
“Really?” Remus looked genuinely surprised
"we really want to be yours” Evan followed
"if you'll have us?” Barty said giving his hand to Remus
"yes" Remus didn’t know what to do he couldn’t be happier
"so do werewolves have super-strength?” Barty just randomly asked
“Crouch!!”
_____________________
The next day
Remus is sitting with his boyfriend at the Slytherin table telling them a story and suddenly barty gets Evans attention by nudging his side.
Evan looks over to him ant sees what caught bartys attention. Sirius black sitting at the Gryffindor table looking jealous as hell.
While they’re having a fill on conversation with eyes Remus as Remus is talking.
"and THEN-.. are you even listening?remus pauses
"of course Rem" barty leans in and kisses his cheek
Remus looks super flustered after that
Evan notices and comments
"not quite used to this huh?" As he’s leaning down in an attempt at kissing him.
“Stop it” Remus laughs out pushing Evan away
“Okay okay “ he lifts his hands up like he’s giving up on something.
_________________
Later
“ I’m really happy we were able to work this out” Remus said sitting in their dorm
"yeah me too" Evan agrees
But since barty is Linda too straightforward he doesn’t think over the words he’ll say and blurts out
"now let's get this other idiot to date you"
Referring to Sirius of course
"what?' Remus is confused
"don't think we forgot” Evan adds
______________________
The next day
"so we're doing something about this right?"Evan made sure before doing anything.
"you know im not a big fan of him" barty said
"yeahh but... for Remus?"of course they will they will do anything for him.
"Black” barty greeted Sirius while he was sitting down next yo him
"hi?" Sirius had no clue on what was happening
"there's something we need to discuss"Evan went straight to the point.
"so l'm sure you're up-to-date by now?"
"about us being with Remus"barty finishes the statement
"yeah? why would I mind? I'm his friend" Sirius still tried to look clueless even tho he was super jealous.
"friend?" Evan questioned
Barty knew exactly how to get him going
"oh so you don't mind us going out with him, holding him...?"
"yeah and kissing him, holding hands...” Evan finished following bartys plan.
"you lot should stay away from him" Sirius shot back
"hey man, you said you two were just friends" barty smoothly forming his words against him.
Now barty when but back to the original plan
"are we ever. gonna do something about this thing between us?" He started the conversation again.
“I mean, the tension's killing me. plus I think Evan's starting to get jealous"
"fuck you" was Sirius only response.
___________________
In the evening
“You flirted with Sirius black? Remus questioned after hearing the story.
"you jealous?' Barty asked him
“ I don't know, maybe" Remus said
"that's not a maybe"Evan told barty
"well do i need to be?"
"you need.. to make a move on him" barty reassured him.
"fine”
_____________________
After a week
Remus was flirting with Sirius for a week now and Sirius didn’t seem to notice anything until now.
"are you flirting with me??" He asked Remus
"yeahh.... for like the past week"Remus replied kind of annoyed at him for not noticing.
"but... you're taken” Sirius said.
" mean yeah but that." Remus didn’t know how to explain that his boyfriends let him date him. And he sure as hell didn’t practice that part.
"so, since you're dating them that doesn't mean your relationship is open to anyone else"Sirius started mumbling
"yes, you're right, but."and he got cut of by Sirius again
"boundaries Remus. You can't just flirt with or date someone else. thats still cheating"
Remus definitely didn’t think he’d be able to be obsessed with the boyfriend was definitely surprised with how much his crush grew on him.
"you're adorable"was the only thing he could think of a that moment.
"I promise you they know and are okay with what
I'm doing" he reassured Sirius.
"oh." Sirius was definitely more confused as Remus at this point.
____________________
Next week
James needed to find out what was happening between them so of course he had to ask
"so is it a love triangle or are you polyamorous?"
"we haven't decided" barty joked.
"well after we cleared things up he did agree to date me" Remus explained
“But at what cost “ Remus was referring to barty and Sirius flipping each other off and Evan joining in just for the chaos.
_____________________
Next day
"you are useless and difficult and honestly not even that hot"Sirius said out of nowhere while sitting in the sliderin dorms.
"and you will die alone"
"you talking to me pretty boy?"Evan looked at him.
"nah he's talking to me"Said barty who was so unbothered by it he didn’t even look up from his homework.
"and he has yet to say something that doesn't accidentally compliment me"
"fck you"
"fck me?" Barty finally looked up from his homework.
"sure. my place or yours?"
"you don't even have your own places"Evan said with a look of disgust
"but please just go anywhere"
__________________
What regulus hears coming to his dorm
“ HE started flirting with ME" Bart protesting against Evan
"I wasn’t fuking firting wath you” Sirius shouting at him.
____________________
Later
"are you gonna tell me what's going on with Barty and my brother?" Regulus asks Remus
" I would... but I think explaining it might give us both"
“Yeah fro what I’ve hear I feel like that’s true “
——————————————
Next morning
Sirius is sitting dow next to them at breakfast
“Hi” he says
"well now i regret making him hate me" barty started.
"well i didn't so... hey Sirius! you free tomorrow
night?" Evan was asking him out on a date.
__________________
Next day
Barty listening how Evans and Sirius’s date went.
"it would've been more fun if you'd been fried to death by lightning” barty said.
"I've got an idea. why don't you zip it"Said a pissed Sirius.
"yeah yeah 'fück you' I know how it goes by now"Barty shot back.
"see we keep saying it but then we never actually follow through"Sirius said