The Truth Behind Barty’s Mind
Evan’s POV :
Recently, Pandora has taken a habit of sneaking to our dorm room after dinner. I won’t complain, her company is genuinely comforting, and she always makes opening up ten times easier.
Tonight, Regulus went off for some alone time in the astronomy tower, letting Pandora and I sitting on the floor, while listening to Barty telling us how he scared some first year Gryffindor to prove a point.
“Sometimes I wonder how much of the ‘crazy psycho’ you pretend to be, is true…” laughed Pandora.
She isn’t wrong, Barty seems completely mad from an outside point of view. Always shouting threats, fighting and being his usual loud, sarcastic self. And you’d think once you get to know him, you figure out the craziness is just a wall. To be honest I know it is, but Barty still seems crazy from an inside point of view, just on another level. Not a shouting madman, but like a crazy scientist who always asks the most random questions for apparently no reason.
Like that one time when we were alone in the dorm working on some transfiguration paper, when Barty asked me if ; when you pulled a nail out, some of the hidden part under the skin would come of too. I followed him around the whole week to make sure he wouldn’t test out his theory.
Barty slowly turns towards us, and whispers :
“Do you want to know a secret ?”
I frown, intrigued. That’s usually Barty’s way to ask for people to bear with him because, no matter how strange what he’s about to say is, he is convinced it’s true.
Pandora slowly nods, a questioning look on her face.
Barty turns back around, acting mysterious. He’s so dramatic.
“I’m pretty sure I have two people in my head.”
Pandora and I exchange a confused look. Where on earth was he going with that ?
“Like there’s me, right, but then, in my head, I have two people constantly fighting over what I should do. Like a little demon trying to convince a little angel to act out, while the other tries to make me do the right thing.”
I try so hard not to laugh. That’s the confirmation that Barty is in fact, crazy.
“Your angel mustn’t win often then” I commented, glancing toward Pandora who patiently waits for him to elaborate.
“Yeah yeah, well it’s because it’s not a demon or an angel in my head, you shithead.” He muttered, plopping on the floor next to us.
“Really ?” Asked Pandora, “Who are those people then ?”
She seems so invested, how can she not find this funny…?
Barty put his serious face back on :
“The demon is actually a retired mafia boss, who’s a borderline sociopath. And the angel is in fact a spoiled little kid. Probably around seven years old.”
Well… that was… definitely something.
“It’s like, I wake up, and I’m like ; what should I do today ? And the kid says ; ‘we should sneak to Hogsmeade and spend our nonexistent gallons on the most useless random items just because we can’. And then the mafia boss is like ; ‘shut your mouth, we will hunt down and torture everyone who wronged us or our friends’. But obviously I won’t spend my nonexistent money because that would upset the mafia boss. And I won’t hunt down people neither, not because that would upset the kid, but because that would upset you and the kid hates it when you’re mad at me. So I just end up going to class. Which none of them likes by the way.”
I glance towards Pandora, she looks like she’s trying to solve an enigma to enter the Ravenclaw common room. It wasn’t the first time Barty explained one of his weird theories, but this one was the most absurd and yet most realistic of them by far. To be honest, that would actually explain a lot.
Barty doesn’t pay attention to neither of us, and goes on :
“Thankfully there are 5 things those two in my head always agree on.”
Why isn’t it surprising that a spoiled kid and a mafia boss have things in common?
“What are they ?” Asked Pandora, tilting her head.
“Number one !” Announced Barty, making a show of it, “Gatekeeping what’s mine.”
I guess that would explain Barty’s possessiveness and overprotective attitude…
“Number two ! Lying, manipulating, or fighting my way to what I want.”
Yep, that definitely sounds like Barty.
“Number three ! Always wanting more.”
“At least you deserve your place in Slytherin.” interrupts Pandora.
“True.” I respond, “Maybe the kid is a future Slytherin, and the mafia boss and ancient one.”
“Number four !” Ignores Barty, “Being better than anyone.”
I snort, more like your god complex and problem with hierarchy.
“And last but not least, number five ! Dressing nicely.”
And that was the last straw. Pandora and I bursted out laughing. That was completely out of the blue!
Pandora quickly pulled herself together :
“Barty, how your mind works is so interesting. Please tell us more.”
Interesting… Not crazy, interesting. No, that’s not it. Barty isn’t crazy, he isn’t interesting, Barty is fascinating.