Mary’s Great Advices
Lily’s POV
Since Marlene entered the quidditch team, Mary and I are left more often alone in the dorm room. It felt weird at first, not having Marls around, flirting and cracking a joke in every sentences, but we found our peace together.
This time, Mary is painting my nails. I don’t know how I feel about it… At home I wasn’t allowed to put some on, and I never thought about it here, since I have the terrible habit of biting my nails when I’m stressed. So I had never worn nail polish before.
But when Mary learned that, a few minutes ago, she insisted that I should try to wear it, at least once. So here we are, Mary, applying a deep green coat on my fingers, and me, wondering how I’ll cope with stress without ruining it.
Although, I do think this could help me feel a bit prettier. It’s been hard lately to find myself beautiful. I started being quite known around the castle, but this just means more people get to comment what I do.
For those who have classes with me, I’m just the annoying know-it-all teachers’ pet. And for those who only see me in corridors, I’m the weird fat redhead nerd who, in both scenarios, apparently deserves to be criticized and insulted.
Most of the time I just ignore it since no one wants to say it to my face, probably because they’re all intimidated by my friends, but some remarks are hard to forget. Their words spinning in my head for weeks, slowly killing the bit of self confidence I had managed to pull.
“Aaaaand… There you go ! Do you like it ?” Asked excitedly Mary, cutting my spiral of thoughts.
I looked at my hands. The color is really pretty, but it also brings attention on my eaten nails and chubby fingers. Which is something I try to avoid, never wearing more than one ring at a time.
“I feel stupid” I laughed.
“What ? Everybody feels stupid. Who cares ?” Responded Mary.
“Do you feel stupid ?”
“Yeah, I did. And then I just chose not to feel stupid.”
What ? How could this be true. Mary is the strongest person I know, always standing up for herself and others. No matter what people say to tear her down, she stays tall and proud. Sometimes I even wish I wasn’t impacted by hateful comments like her. I can’t imagine that she wasn’t always so true to herself.
“I don’t know if… I can… Really get to that point.” I whispered.
“90% of life is confidence. And the thing about confidence is no one knows if it’s real or not.” Mary assured, a smile on her lips.
“You mean I just have to fake it ?”
“You know what they say, fake it ‘til you make it.”
I scoff, that would be easier if everyone didn’t have something to say about everything I do.
“So, do you like it ?” Repeated Mary. “Forget what people might say or think. Do YOU like it ?”
“Well… I like that the green matches my ring.”
“And your eyes.”
I looked up, confused :
“My eyes ?”
“Yeah, it also matches your eyes. That’s why I picked this green !”
I slowly start to blush and quickly try to hide it by looking down at my hands again, fighting a smile. Mary is right. I have to start caring about only the opinion of those who actually matter. Those who actually know me, those who know the color of my eyes.
“Maybe it’s not that bad…” I said, finally looking up.
“I knew you’d like it !” Smiled Mary.
It will probably take more than painting my nails to feel good about myself again, but this is a start. It’s the start of acting confident even if it’s fake. The start of letting people talk without listening. The start of me taking Mary’s advices.