Narcissa
He puts his arm on my shoulders and a shiver crosses my body, screaming inside for him to let me go. But he won’t. And I can only walk straight by pretending it is you, that instead of that fancy cologne that doesn’t let me breathe is the soft scent of the coco of your shampoo mixed with the smell of the hundreds of flowers that fill your room making it seem like a small forest (thing you always loved when I said it) and the cheap vanilla cologne you used often because I complimented it one day.
But these thoughts only make my eyes water with regret.
Why did I leave you behind?
And I know why, and I’m sorry I wasn’t enough brave for you. I’m sorry you had to love a coward.
And I wish I could return to the quiet afternoons with my head on your legs or when I tried to make up you. I wish I could return to your soft laughter in my neck and you having to kiss me again because mine escaped while hiding in the hallways. I never told you but sometimes I did it on purpose to have an excuse for the touch of those soft strawberry flavor lips. Even if I knew I didn’t need one to try them.
And I want to say “Without you, everything's wrong” and that you were everything I need all along. But those words never come out of my mouth when I see you.
And I know I don’t have any right to be jealous, but I can’t help but notice how you two talk really often and the way he looks at you, and it makes my body burn out of hatred. You seem happier than ever now, and it can’t help but hurt like a stab in my heart, I should tell you I’m sorry, it seems like I was also the problem when we were together.
Maybe I only brought you down.
And when I said we could be friends guess I lied.
“You really expect me to be your little secret slut? While you fuck him in front of everyone?” Her face was turning red, and Narcissa already regretted having said anything, knowing from the brunette’s face that was the end. Alice was already getting up pointing out the door as if the blonde didn’t know where was the exit.
“Please Alice, please.” She said on her knees praying the smallest one.
“Are you really praying for me to lose the rest of the dignity I have left?”
“I won’t ask for us to continue, but could we at least be friends? I don’t want to lose you, Alice.” There wasn’t any noise after that, but when the blonde raised her head, she saw a small nod from the girl that meant more to her than anybody else.
Less her family?
And I wish the next time we talk, I could say something I really mean, but I want you happy whether or not it's with me. And I wanna say “I wish I never left”, but instead I only wish you the best. I wanna say, "Without you, everything's wrong", and you were everything I need all along.
I wanna say “I wish I never left”.
Oh, but instead, I only wish you the best.