Only if I could find you on a sunny day, when we were bathed in rosy and golden glow and between white clouds was a river of blue that was streaming through every corner of it. Only if I could see you smile and laugh happily at your friends’ jokes when the light covered your face with a soft hue of yellow. I would look at you with my wide eyes and wonder to myself “Is it possible to have a person that perfect and gorgeous? He must be an angel.”
Your smile brought life to my soul and watered the long dead flower of joy deep in my heart. Your laugh sounded like it was from miles away but also right near my ears, it was the most melodic sound in this world to me that no music could ever compare. You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, love, love you.
Only if you could hear my thoughts, know my love, be aware of my existence, only for one tiny moment. It wouldn’t take that much of your time, I promised, I just needed one second of yours and I would give you the whole life of mine. Only if you could give a glance or a stare toward me, even if it contained nothing but hatred and disgust, just one, it would be enough to make my heart all flustered and give butterflies in my stomach.
The way you ran your hand into your messy dark hair, your cheeks rose and turned to a slight shade of red every time you heard something funny, and your brown eyes twinkled when a ray of sunlight overflowed them. Colours, the colours of you painted my black and white picture of life. Every single part of you, every atom of your flesh is as dear to me as my own. I would look at you as I wanted to swallow the moment forever. So I could capture the scene of you in my mind that would never fade away through year over year. So I could recognize you by touch alone, by smell; I would know you blind, by the way your breaths came and your feet struck the earth. I would know you in death, at the end of the world.
You are the sun to my Icarus. I tried to reach that beautiful, precious treasure in the sky but never realised it would be the death of me. My wings melted at your brightness and I fell, I fell for you, only you. I would die a thousand times if it meant spending a single lifetime with you, or just watching you from afar. I’m yours, all yours, but you are not mine to take.
Only if I could… Only if you could…
Only if it was not me saying “only if” anymore…