Lily was awake. It was 4am and tomorrow would be a normal school day but she was still awake.
It was all because she couldn’t get her head to shut up.
It was thinking, it was listening. Not just to the soft breeze in Lily’s hair that came into their dorm through the open window. Neither was the only thing it was listening to the deep breath’s of her friends, who were all already asleep.
No it was listening to Lily’s heart, her feelings. The feelings that were hurting her so much. But she couldn’t help them, they were just there.
Lily knew that it was just simply love. Nothing more. She should be able to continue to live normally but she couldn’t.
The love was tearing her apart but also it was so beautiful.
Every time Lily looked at Mary the love was jumping around in her stomach and it was so beautiful and nice and Lily loved this feeling.
But then she remembered that she could never be with Mary. They had no future together. And that broke her heart. It felt like something really heavy and cruel was eating her up from the inside. It hurt so bad. She wanted it to stop. She wanted to be able to think about Mary without having this feeling. She wanted to feel butterflies flying around in her stomach and not this horrible, heavy creature.
But she couldn’t choose the way it was. She would never be able to.
So she would continue to love Mary even though it made her feel like bleeding out.
It was fine.
Everything was all good.
Lily would definitely be able to keep up with all this.
Yes, she would.
Because why wouldn’t she?
It was all good.
That’s what Lily thought before she started to cry. Quietly, so nobody could hear it, into her bedsheets. Every tear was a small prove for her love.
It would stop hurting soon, right?
Right?