Loki
Waiting was not Loki’s strong suit. Sure, he knew how to be patient and bide his time, but waiting felt entirely different than that. When he was being patient it was because he was hatching a scheme, plotting some prank on Thor, or anything else that required him to be the one to initiate the action. Waiting on others, however, was not nearly as enjoyable.
Four days had passed since he had stepped foot back in London. Four days of knowing that his baby boy was somewhere out there in the world and not safe with him. Four days stuck inside of an Avengers compound trying not to draw the ire of those he had tried to kill, once again under mind control, the last time he was on Midgard. At the very least the spider child had proven to be not as afraid of him as the others.
The only drawback is the child’s insistence on spending far too much time around him.
I wonder if this is how McGonagall felt when dealing with me when I was younger, Loki idly thought as he found himself once again in the company of an ever-inquisitive Peter Parker.
“So, is it like hard light? If so, I was wondering how your illusions have any mass to them at all. Unless your magic can layer particles of light on top of each other to give the…illusion of mass,” the young child had been pestering him since the night before after he had conjured a fake wall that Peter had run into when trying to find him.
“My Midgardian Spider, if you do not cease with your questions I will treat you like your namesake and find a way to squash you,”
“You know if you do that Mr. Stark is going to be mad at you. Well, madder than he already is,” Peter quipped, earning him a green-eyed glare from Loki, “Yeah, sorry. My bad,”
The child did have a point. Ever since Tony had, rightfully so, punched him in the face the man hadn’t said a single word to him. Not only that, but he had gone out of his way to ensure they never crossed paths. Loki had seen far more of Barton than he had of the man he loved. Not to mention the fact that he seemed to be spending more time with Kingsley and Severus of all people while working on their case to get Harry back.
He was happy to know that Tony, man of action that he was, did have a plan in mind. He just hated not being a part of it. The fact that Severus was more in the know than he was had added to his level of irritation. He trusted the man to hold onto his most precious memories to keep himself and his son safe, and yet the man wouldn’t tell him what was going on to get said son back. The only thing stopping him from barging in there and demanding to be a part of the proceedings was the trust he placed in Tony.
“Your bad indeed. Tell me, why does my magic interest you so? Are you trying to better understand your magic,” questioned Loki, enjoying the perplexed look on Peter’s face.
“Uh, I don’t use magic. The whole sticking-to-wall things is because my DNA got spliced with that of a spider, not like…spider magic. At least I think, never really thought about it beyond the bite,”
“You have said as much, and yet I can detect just a faint sensation of magic around you. Like you have tapped into the surrounding Mana from Yggdrasil. Perhaps the bite gave you more than just the ability to stick to walls,”
“It did give me this weird tingle thing,” Peter proclaimed happily
“The less I speak with a child about his tingle, the better off I shall be. Nonetheless, as the God of Magic, I can feel and see these things, so do not cast doubt on my words. Now, if that has sated your curiosity I have something I must attend to,” his words were perfectly on time with the arrival of Tony and Kingsley coming out of the elevator
“Uhh wait, Mr. Loki sir. I had more questions about magic you might find too curious to ignore,” Peter called out, failing to stop Loki from advancing onto Tony.
“Is this your great plan to ignore me, Tony, have a child entertain me with questions,” Loki all but hissed as he finally managed to get Tony to stop and look at him. At least until the man moved his head to glare at Peter,
“I am giving you a 1-star review on ‘Babysitters.com kid,” the man groused,
“I don’t know how to babysit an actual baby, let alone a God Mr. Stark. I tried my best,”
“Give the child some credit Tony,” Loki stepped in to defend the fledgling hero, “He actually at least made sure I ate a proper meal today,”
Tony couldn’t help but crack a small smile before sighing,
“Fine, 2 stars, no higher. Now if you pardon me, Wizard Cop and I were about to go over the documents for our case,” Tony couldn’t help but wave the rather thick file of papers before Loki, only to have the God easily pluck them from his hand
“Then I would be honored to help you go over this, I’m sure I know a bit more about Wixen law than you do,” Loki chortled lightly, only for Kingsley to flick his wand and summon the folder into his own hands
“Be that as it may, as the Auror leading this investigation, both myself and Madame Bones have deemed you unnecessary for this case. Considering we will be springing a custody case on them, it is best to have us work alone,” Kingsley leveled Loki with a glare, though it did little to intimidate Loki
“Unnecessary? Harry is my child, not just Tony’s. If there is anyone unnecessary for this it would be yourself and your head of the DMLE,” Loki felt his ire rise as flecks of green magic started to spark from his fingertips, “I fail to see what is stopping me from finding out just where my child is and rescuing him on my own,”
“Because-,” Kingsley started, wand already in his hand, only to be stopped by Tony who stood between them.
“It was my call, Lac- I mean Loki. I am right there with you. I wanted to do nothing more than burn down the entire world to get our kid back, but that won’t work here. We have to work around their rules and laws, not against them,”
“Since when do you play nice with laws? Aren’t you supposed to be an Avenger,” Loki and his words were almost a loss hiss, his anger still bubbling at the surface
“And this is why we didn’t want you involved. You are a volatile element that could break any chance we have of getting Harry into your custody,” Kingsley said, “While the Wixen world as a whole may not pay attention to Muggle-worthy news like Heroes and aliens, the nature of who you are will come up. If you do something rash it will only make our plea to have Harry rightfully placed with you both dead in the water. I know you aren’t happy about this, but this is how it needs to be,”
Loki wanted to let his anger simmer more, to let it boil over in a rage. He had already given away his child for his safety and not having him by his side was killing him. However, as he looked into the eyes of Tony, he let that anger go. At least for the moment.
“Fine. I won’t be involved with the case directly, but I still want to be kept in the know of what has happened to Harry. I deserve to know that much Tony,”
Loki watched the emotions play on the man's face, so many small twitches and reactions that Loki had learned to memorize back when he was Laci. Back during that blissful month when he wanted nothing more than to be by this man’s side forever. The urge to reach out and comfort Tony was strong, though Loki did his best to keep it buried.
They had been apart for far too long to start embracing each other again. At least in Loki’s eyes.
“Yeah, I don’t see why that isn’t a problem. As long as you promise not to go off and turn the Dursleys into frogs or something. I’ve already called dibs on them,” Tony gave Loki a smile, an honest smile and it just about broke the Gods heart.
“And why, pray tell, are you targeting who I assume to be the family of Lily’s loathsome sister,” Loki couldn’t help but imagine just what would draw the ire of Tony to her and her family,
“Just the fact that they stuffed our child into a cupboard until he was eleven. Among other things that we found out after Madame Bones approved questioning them under that truth potion stuff,”
All parties flinched as several windows within the building shattered at once.
“I am going to rend the fat from their bones,” Loki growled
“And this is why we had you on babysitter duty Pete. The god is going to have a tantrum,” Tony hoped the humor would alleviate the anger Loki was feeling.
It did not.
“This is not something to joke about Tony. They put our child in a glorified closet for most of his life and you expect humor to be the method to deflect my anger,”
“Well, when the time is right you can direct all that anger at them. Right now, we need them alive, they are part of our plan,”
“What plan is this Tony,”
“A plan in which we hold Dumbledore accountable for putting Harry in undue danger by thinking he knows what’s best for everyone,” Kingsley gave a smirk that wouldn’t have been out of place on a Slytherin, “This is our best path to seek some form of justice for Harry,”
Justice. Isn’t that what he, Hela, and Thor were ostensibly trying to obtain? Justice for what their father had put them through. Justice for the realms Odin had left in chaos.
“Fine, we will try for this justice that you speak of. Shall it not come to bear fruit, I assure you I will become an Avenger to exact the justice that is due,”
“Pretty sure you don’t count as an Avenger but if you stay on good behavior maybe we will make you our mascot or something,” Tony fixed Loki with a look that the god could not name, but it was making him feel things.
“Is that all you want to make me, Elskling,” Loki couldn’t help but fill his voice with innuendo, only to have his attempt and flirting broken by the teenager in the room
“Wait, are you flirting? Is this how adults flirt because it is…so weird,” despite his words, Peter was more than capable of reading the room and took his leave before Tony could admonish him
“Not that I don’t appreciate a good flirt, maybe save that for after I’m done being angry with you,” Tony huffed at Loki’s general direction
“And how long will that be until,” Loki’s green eyes couldn’t help but flash ever so slightly in anticipation of the answer
“Get back to me in a few years and I’ll let you know Reindeer Games. Now, do you want to know all the details of what our son has been dealing with for the past 15 years? I promise it will cool those jets of yours real quick,”
“If you must inform me of my son’s misery at the hands of others then I request you allow me a drink to get through it all,”
“That won’t be a problem. I’m sure I can find something to tickle your fancy,”
“You tickle my fancy more than enough Elskling, though I won’t say no to a bit of Ogden’s. Shall we Kingsley,”
Loki swept by a blushing Tony, taking the offered folder from Kingsley who looked amused by the entire ordeal
“First time I’ve seen someone shut that man up in just a few words. I feel like having you on board is going to help with getting things done just that much faster,” Kingsley said
Kingsley’s hopes for Loki helping to speed things up were dashed once they got into the depths of what Harry had gone through.
Loki had known about the deaths of Lily and James earlier, having asked about them just after landing in London. To know that his son was there the night they died, and witnessing the woman who gave birth to him die in front of him was heartbreaking.
From there they mostly had speculation on what happened next, though Severus had provided memories of Dumbledore informing him that he would ensure Harry would be taken care of. From there, Harry had all but dropped off the map as far as the Welfare for Magical Children had been concerned. As far as they were aware, the boy was in the care of his magical guardian. Since said guardian had been Dumbledore, they had just assumed that Harry was in good hands.
Tony had worked overtime to find as much information on his son as he could through Muggle's means. There was more information than what the Wixen had on his early life, but not by much. His grades were available to view, as was the one article published about him and other smart kids in the UK. However, there was nothing else at all. No doctors’ records, and no errant photos from security cameras beyond the one Tony found earlier. The boy didn’t even have a library card on record. For all intents and purposes, Harry Potter barely existed in the Muggle world. At least to everyone except his relatives. When Tony let Loki know what they had found out from them, the god went back to being extremely livid.
“And they told you this, willingly,” growled the Trickster God, flames of green crackling at his heels,
“Well, I wouldn’t say willingly,” Kingsley calmly extinguished the larger flames before they could cause any damage, “Considering the nature of the case we are building, the use of Vertisurm on Muggles was allowed. Not that they showed any remorse,”
“Oh, I have plans to make them regret this,” Loki growled, his ire seemingly unable to be cooled, “They forced him into servitude. Having him cook and clean from the moment he could walk. They beat him for not obeying their draconian rules and for daring to be smarter than their whelp of a child. The pits of Hel themselves would be far too good for them. Maybe I’ll send them to Surtur, and let him torture them for endless eons. I’ll even watch as-OOF,”
Loki and his rant of revenge were cut short by the feeling of an arm suddenly wrapping around his middle. The warmth that he had not felt in years began to spill out from his center as Tony held him tight. It was an uncharacteristic showing of emotion, but at that moment, Loki did not care. The fires around him began to die out as the god leaned his head atop Tony’s head, breathing in his scent for a moment.
Eventually Tony let go, looking flustered and out of his element, but Loki could feel the worry radiating off of him,
“I’m glad that you are pro-revenge for our kid but, if you go all Old Testament I don’t know what I’ll do,” Tony looked askance as he spoke
“What do you mean Tony,” Loki asked simply,
“I don’t want to see you turn back into what you were in New York. I know you said you were brain-washed and I believe you but hearing you talk like that just…it makes me worry that there was more of you on display in New York than you may remember,”
New York. His failed invasion. All at the behest of the Mad Titian and his children
We will break you, until all you know is servitude, the voice of Ebony Maw echoed in his head, making the god flinch ever so slightly.
“I promise you, what you saw of me was merely the product of…it was not who I am today. I will do my best to control my ‘Old Testament’ impulses, but I will not temper my anger towards the abusers of my child,”
Loki settled onto the sofa, not expressing his shock when Tony sat beside him and reached out a hand. Taking it Loki basked in feeling the hand of his love. The slight rough texture from years of working by hand. The way his slenderer hand seemed to mold perfectly against Tony’s palm. The way Loki would unconsciously squeeze and Tony would respond with a tender pulse of his own. It was merely holding hands, but for Loki, who had spent far too long away from tender touch, it was the most intimate and romantic gesture the god could ever hope for.
“I’m still not ready to forgive,” Tony joked as he shifted over to another set of documents, these detailing the memories Severus had supplied of notable moments in Harry’s life at school
“Even if it takes an eternity, I shall wai-WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS BIT BY A BASALISK,” the ire returned once more and Tony merely held onto Loki’s hand tighter as he began to rant once again.
The tea had been most welcome for Loki after the meeting he just had. While he was still miffed at being left out at the start, he could agree with Tony and Kingsley’s decision. Had he known all of this the moment he landed there wouldn’t have been a place in any of the Nine Realms that would keep Dumbledore or the Dursleys safe. Even now he was still fuming over it all. To know that they had been tasked with keeping his son safe and they did the opposite was burning at every fiber of his being. Not to mention how Harry ended up in their care in the first place. Dumbledore knew what the proper thing to do was, the old coot practically ran the Wizengomt and was there when the rules regarding orphan wixen children were instated. Now Harry had to be the one to pay for that man’s incompetence and planning.
The fact that the Dursleys claimed to also be paid just added more fuel to Dumbledore’s soon-to-be pyre.
The tea leaves were a gift from his mother. Friggia must have known that he would need something to keep him calm from time to time and nothing did that quiet like her own personal blend. The taste exploded with a nostalgic vision on his tongue. He recalled a night when Friggia tended to him after catching a nasty Asgardian sickness. She stayed with him all night, keeping his mug of tea warm and filled. She taught him the magic of elves that night, of what their realm was truly like. Not the cruel things his fath-Odin had said of them. Sipping this tea, he could almost feel her hands carding through his hair as she sang him to sleep.
It was something he should have had with Harry. Moments where he could comfort his son, and hum hymns and songs from all over the Nine Realms whenever the boy had a nightmare. Tell him stories and teach him magic before dead. Introduce his little boy to the world, Tony by their side. It was something he wished so badly would come true. Yet, he did not live in that reality. He lived in this one. One where his son grew up feeling unloved. Unprotected. Away from the warm embrace and care both he and Tony could have given.
It was not fair. Not in the least.
“Oh, brother mine, have you taken to brooding now,” the voice of Hela cut through his thoughts as she sat beside him at the small table Loki had claimed, “You have thoughts swirling around your head like a nest of ravens. I can see them in your eyes,”
“And what if I am brooding? I feel I am entitled to brood over the current state of affairs,” the irritation in his voice never reached his eyes as he looked over his sister before smirking, “Though it seems if I am brooding you, sister, are thriving,”
Hela, the Goddess of death and warfare, had a hell of a poker face. It reminded Loki of stone as she looked her brother in the eyes,
“I have no idea what you mean little jester. I am no different than when we left Asgard. Midgard and her people have merely amused me, nothing more,”
“Little jester? Have you been talking to Thor about our childhood,” Loki looked utterly aghast, “He called me that when I first wore my helmet. I’ll have you know that look was not meant to intimidate my foes,”
“Well I assure you, very few were intimidated by your stag horns,” Hela huffed
“All the same, I stand by what I said. You are very clearly thriving, or at the very least have found something to take your mind off of life,” Loki smirked around his mug as he spotted a small twitch in his sister's otherwise impassive face
“Hold your tongue brother or speak what you truly mean. Know if I do not find truth in your words I will-“
“The non-elven archer has seen you following behind Natascha several times since we have been here,”
That got Hela’s mask to slip slightly.
“I will have his head. I care not how well he shoots an arrow, he would know better than to stalk someone like myself,”
“I believe he said it wasn’t intentional. At least at first. He spotted you eyeing Natascha and was naturally worried. It prompted him to come to speak with me, as if I could hold back your rather obvious desires,”
“Desires,” the word came out just a pitch higher than what Hela intended, “I have been alive far longer than anyone on this pitiful planet, let alone on this crew of miscreants you insist are a team. I do not have such desires for others. Only the desire for combat and to prove myself a far better warrior than Odin ever was,”
“And are you sure that desire for combat does not cross over with your desire for the Midgardian woman who practically oozes unspoken battles,”
Hela held Loki’s gaze, the two locked in a match of wills to see who would cave first. Thor had attempted to do the same with Loki many times when they were younger and often would lose. Hela, for her efforts, held out far longer than Thor but eventually caved,
“Damn you and your eyes. I should pluck them from your skull for being so insolent to your elder sister,” the words held nothing but mirth as Hela gave a small sigh, “I will not say I have a desire for the Midgardian woman, merely an interest,”
“Pretty sure you are arguing semantics at this point,” Loki just barely managed to doge the mug Hela tossed at him and landed with a thud against the wall, no doubt leaving a mark
“If I have an interest in this woman I would request you kindly keep your trickster hands from meddling. I fully intend to find a way to sweep her off her feet, I just need to keep watching her to figure out how,”
“Or,” Loki began, “You could just speak to the archer. I am sure he would be…amicable to helping,”
“Ah yes, the man who crawls around the vents like a mouse. I am sure he would know plenty on the subject of attracting powerful women,”
“I very much do in fact,” came the unmistakable voice of Clint from one of the vents above. Followed up by his almost silent retreat as Hela summoned a blade and tossed it just an inch from where he had been moments before
“How long have you known he was there brother,” Hela seethed, keeping her temper down as best as she could
“Not at all, on this I give you my word. Though I would not be shocked if you find him waiting for you in your quarters. Do try to make a good impression on him, as I’m sure his words are the only one Natascha treats like gold,”
Hela, with a growl, summoned the blade back to her and made to stalk away from the table. She paused for a moment before turning around,
“For a supposed God of Magic, I am shocked that you have yet to reach out to your son through his,”
“What are you prattling about,” came a slightly more annoyed response than Loki had planned
“His magic. He is your child; your magic is bound together through the roots of the Yggdrasil. If you wish to know more of his current status you should seek out the feeling of his magic to do so,”
Loki wanted to snap that he had forgotten more about magic than she could ever hope to learn but stopped short of doing so as the realization dawned on him
“I am such an idiot,” he muttered as Hela reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder
“You indeed are brother mine. Now if you pardon me, it seems I have an archer to speak with,”
As Hela walked away, Loki looked down into the depths of his mug, finding the tea leaves swirling in the last bits of liquid. His mother could read the leaves with scary accuracy, able to divine the future from almost any blend. Right now, Loki was wishing he had learned the art from her, as he wanted nothing more than to see if he would soon be able to hold his son to him.
“Alright, let’s see if this will work,” Loki muttered, before leaving his teacup behind to head for his quarters.
There is a distinction between the various branches of magic. The magic practiced by Wixen differs heavily from that practiced by Sorcerers. There are many reasons for this, but it all comes down to the method of casting and where they pull their power from. One cannot, or at least should not be able to use the magic of the other. However, as with many things, some overlaps can be exploited if one has the knowledge, power, and skill.
Wixen used the magic of the Earth itself to fuel their abilities. They are born with a core, one that can tap into this magical field and store its energy for their own personal use. The magic they use must obey certain rules, as while it may look to those that they are voiding the laws of nature, they are working within its constraints while using magic to do so. A Wixen’s ability to harness the natural magic of the Earth comes down to how their core synthesizes the magic as a whole. Those with cores that are unable to do so are what Wixen refers to as Squibs.
Sorcery relies on pulling power not of this natural world. All sorcerers are those who have studied the mystical arts with enough dedication to forge a connection between the bonds of the multi-verse. They can draw upon this power to cast spells and rituals that are more akin to Eldritch magic than anything else. Unlike Wixen magic, sorcery does not rely on a born connection to magic, merely a willingness and ability to understand concepts beyond the scope of reality.
The only beings that can muddy the waters between these arts are Gods. Gods draw upon all corners of magic to fuel themselves and their abilities. Most Gods require tribute in the form of prayers to stay connected to the magic of their particular domain. One of the few that do not are the Aseir Gods. While they do not have a strong connection to the multi-verse to use sorcery as well as sorcerers, they do draw upon magic like Wixen. Specifically, their magic is fueled by the Yggdrasil tree. The tree that connects all realms. The mystical bonds that connect each of these realms are where the Aseir gain their magic from. Depending on where on the tree it is pulled from, an Aseir God can wield magic with several differing effects, though none have learned how to pull from them all at the same time.
All of this was to say that, as the God of Magic in this particular universe, Loki really should have known he could have used magic as a way to connect with his son from the get-go.
Scrying was an art that Loki did not have the talent for, at least innately. Most magic seemed to come to him with ease, even from a young age. Scrying, however, that ability seemed to elude him. At least in the ways he wanted to master it. His mother had been amazing at the art, able to pinpoint the location that someone not only was but also would be in the future. She was able to use the art to peer through the myriad of possibilities that surrounded one singular person and find where they would be at any given point in time. It wasn’t omniscience, as she could not divine those thoughts or reasons for someone being somewhere, but it came pretty damn close.
At best, Loki had been able to vaguely figure out where Thor had hidden his favorite daggers one time when he was younger.
All the same, he understood the concepts behind the art and was not going to let a lack of experience deter him from his goal. He could appreciate the effort and time Tony, Kingsley, and Severus had put into this. Not to mention the fact that Madame Bones was hiding all this under the nose of the Minister himself. It was a level of guile and cunning that made him feel proud that they were using these skills to aid in getting his son. However, the waiting was the worst part. Though he had been unaware of it, the hollow feeling in his chest of never knowing his son had pervaded every moment of his life for so long. It was an ache, a constant throb that refused to die down. Here he was, the God of all Magic, and was being told to be patient and to wait. He couldn’t, not right now.
With a deep breath, Loki closed his eyes and allowed his mind to disconnect from his body. It was a process not too dissimilar to when a sorcerer astral projects, only Loki was not bound to roam the physical plane of existence. His essence drifted through the layers of reality until he broached into the realm of magic. Into the realm governed by Yggdrasil and the magic of the realms.
It wasn’t a physical place, more like a concept that one could almost visualize. All of magic passed through this place to be filtered down into the tree and the realms. Every spell that was, could, and shall be uttered came from this place and would return to this place. It was, at its basis, a nexus for all magic that could ever exist. At least that which was bound to this plane of reality. When his mother tried to teach him the art of scrying she claimed that to find someone, you had to have a connection strong enough to recognize even the faintest of traces of them in the shifting landscape of the place of magic. From there, all you had to do was follow that trace and you could ‘feel’ their location. Sometimes a map would be used so the scrier could have it readily displayed, but most of the time, one could find someone with pinpoint accuracy.
The biggest problem that Loki was coming up against was the fact he did not know what Harry’s magic felt like. He should have, had the boy been raised with him from the start. He would know the ins and outs of his child’s magic. He wondered what affinity his son had when it came to magic and if it mirrored his predilection for all things frigid. Once more, how did his biology as a Frost Giant affect him, if it even could after what Odin did to him to make Loki fit in more? All of this he should have known, longed to know, and it had been kept away from him. He had chosen to give up Harry to protect the child and yet here he was, trying to save him.
Perhaps he should have just kept him all the same. At least the boy wouldn’t have had to endure the wrath of Riddle if he did.
These thoughts were not getting him anywhere and it wouldn’t do for a God of Magic to be lost in the realm of magic. There was no telling what could happen. Instead, he tried to focus on what he did know about his son. His claimed skills at defense. The fact he was among the youngest Wixen to cast a corporeal Patronus. His skills on a broom. Loki focused on these facts and came up frustratingly empty. His face darkened as he accepted that to do this, he needed to focus on something more than just feats alone.
He faintly recalled the moment he had ‘felt’ he was pregnant. It wasn’t the time of conception, but a while before that, just before brewing the potion to know for sure. There was a change, subtle as it was, in his magic. He had, at the time, no idea why for his knowledge of magic had been limited to that of Wixen levels. Now though, with his mind fully restored, he looked back on the moment and knew what he felt.
His son connected with magic. Forming his own core. The birth of a new soul capable of conjuring magic.
As he drifted to this moment he could feel an errant pull within the realm of magic. A slight tug that demanded his attention. Loki found this pull and followed it, allowing himself to all but submerge within it. It was small, not powerful, but it felt familiar. The longer he followed it, the stronger the feeling of magic began to grow. Increasing over time, growing healthier and more potent. It took him a moment before Loki realized just what he was doing. He was following the growth of Harry’s magic. The residual impact his son had left of the realm of magic as a whole.
It started gradually, but soon it was growing exponentially. The braid of magic he was following was growing thicker by the moment as it swirled with so much magic and potential. There was seemingly no end to it at all. Loki was tempted to continue and see just where all this would lead, but he couldn’t. Not yet. He needed to focus on what he came here for in the first place. Pulling back his curiosity, Loki let his mind grow familiar with the feeling of his son’s magic. Let it wash over him. Then, with a single breath, he cast his mind outward to find him.
Harry, I hope you are okay, he thought as he felt a ping of sorts strike his body.
He found it, the source of his son’s magic, and by proxy the boy as well. Loki couldn’t divine his location for some reason, but he could at least feel his son's magic as it was, not as it would be or had been. Magic carried a lot of the user within its signature, and while it was stripped of these unique indicators when it was returned to the stream of magic from Yggdrisil when observed from the person directly, one could divine a lot about their current state. What Loki felt from touching onto his son’s magically directly could best be described as a maelstrom of conflicting and painful emotions.
Harry’s magic kept shifting about, laced with so many painful thoughts and memories that Loki couldn’t tell what color his son’s magic was beyond the grey storm of swirling magic that seemed to dominate it. What Loki did know, was the fact that it was laced with dark magic, holding it down. Almost like chains doing their best to contain the storm within. Not only that, but the bonds seemed to have layers to them. There was one that felt recently applied, while others looked to have been placed there far longer. He could feel the fraying, no doubt triggered by the danger he needed to protect himself from, but they were still holding strong.
“Harry…I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I couldn’t prevent any of this from happening. I am so sorry and I love you so much,”
He reached out into the maelstrom of Harry’s magic, letting what he could feel wash over him. He could feel the bond with his child singing within him, a broken connection being reformed.
“We are coming to save you, Harry, I promise,”
Loki sat there in the realm as long as he could, connected to his son for the first time in ages. He did nothing more than bask in the bits of warmth that broke through the darkness covering Harry’s magic. Even when he had to leave, pulling his mind back into his body, he could still feel that warmth. To be so close to his son and yet far away was painful, but to know that he was still alive, still thriving despite the tumult that his life had put him through, gave Loki the peace of mind he needed to press on. More than that, it gave him more of a reason to talk with Tony.
It wasn’t too hard to find the Iron Avenger. The man was predictable to a fault and even though they hadn’t shared a deep conversation in years, Loki knew he would find the man tinkering away at some invention. The man hadn’t even noticed his arrival, Tony hunched over a display of some kind. His fingers moved holographic parts around as he muttered to himself, only stopping to take an errant sip of coffee.
Loki was tempted to just sit there and watch him. Even though his back was to the god, Loki knew the look of concentration that would be on the man's face. Those small lines creased as he tried to tackle a particularly nasty problem of some kind. When they finally got around to admitting feelings for one another Loki was taken to the man’s private lab in London. Even then Loki knew the depths of the invitation he had been given. To be allowed into his lab was a sign of trust. One that Loki realized his actions had broken.
“You know, standing around like a stalker really isn’t the right step to regaining my love for you. It is rather creepy,” Tony muttered, swiveling around in his chair to face Loki. He had a pen hanging limply from his mouth and his clothing was mildly disheveled but in a way that looked perfect on the man.
Frigga grant me strength, Loki thought as he tried his best to push impure thoughts about Tony from his mind.
“Be that as it may, I merely didn’t wish to disturb you. I know how you enjoy uninterrupted thinking time. Plotting and planning away at ways to change the world,” Loki verbally responded as he walked closer to Tony, staying just out of physical distance, “That and I think you and I need to talk,”
“If it is about magical contraception the greasy potions guy already filled me in on steps to avoid that with the next magical person I bump uglies with,” Tony leaned back in his chair, fixing Loki with a pointed stare. One that screamed, alright Loki, your turn.
The god smirked as he let himself fall back into their routine. Flirting. Jabs at each other. Each one had their own way of talking and admitting just what was on their minds without having to be overly vulnerable.
The dance of the damaged.
“Is that what you call what we did, bumping uglies? If I recall correctly you called it the closest experience to being with God you’d ever had,”
“Too bad I had my money on the wrong god. Though I don’t think capital G could have managed what you did with your tongue that one time,”
“Still avoiding answering my question Elsking,” Loki growled almost playfully
“And you,” Tony countered, “Are still under the impression that we need to talk about this,”
“Considering the nature of what happened, yes I do,”
“Which part, the abandoning me and your child because you were afraid All-Daddy might have killed him? Or the part where you lied to yourself to avoid having to deal with it all,” Tony sneered, dropping all pretense of trying to remain unhurt
“I did it to protect you both! I didn’t have a choice,”
“Yes, you did! But instead of taking a single moment to think you ran off. Like a coward,” Tony yelled, jumping to his feet
“Don’t you dare call me that! I risked life and limb to ensure you two were protected not just from Odin but from a war that you could never know about,”
“I could have protected us,” Tony’s rage reached a peak, slamming his fist into the table behind him, cracking the display glass, “I would have protected us from anything and everything if you had given me the chance,”
“I couldn’t take that risk, Tony,” Loki tried to bite back the emotion in his voice but was failing, “I couldn’t even tell you about the Wixen world without running the risk of you being in danger against forces I had no way to prepare you to fight,”
“I built weapons Loki. Literal weapons used to wage wars. I had the resources and the talent to keep everything from hurting us,” Tony huffed, “I just…knowing what I know now I can’t help but see so many different ways that I could have stopped this from happening. Stopped you from having to leave Harry and me. Hindsight’s a bitch,”
“You know,” Loki looked down at the ground, smirking slightly, “There is a god of hindsight. Told me that his gift wasn’t a curse, merely a way of processing what happened in life,”
“How is that supposed to make me feel any better, Loki,”
“Tony, we can’t change what we did. I can’t go back and stop myself from running away no more than you can go back and change what led you to becoming an Avenger. All we can do is look at what happened, process it, and try to do better if the same choices come up again,”
“Would you, then” Tony looked at Loki, eyes full of worry
“Would I what, Elsking,” Loki asked, moving ever so closer to Tony
“Would you run again? Would you lie to yourself and hide away to protect us, me and our son,” Tony looked deep into those green eyes, unaware of when they got so close.
“Tony. I promise you, I will never leave you two again. No matter what happens, I won’t run away from you. Ever,”
The deceleration was what pushed both men over the edge. Tony looped an arm around Loki’s waist to pull him forward and the god capitulated, letting his mouth collide with Tony’s in a sudden burst of passion.
For both of them, the kiss was a warm burst of what they didn’t know they had been missing. A connection between them that sang with fiery passion. It was as if the intervening years of their lives vanished under the kiss. All that mattered, all that could ever matter was the now and what they did to make it better for themselves.
“Isn’t this how we made our first kid,” Tony chuckled as he pulled away from the embrace to get a better look at his love,
“No. I think that happened when you got too drunk with Sirius and Lupin one night,” Loki couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory as he looked at Tony with adoration.
“Right. Well, we have nothing but time, nothing to worry about” Tony pulled away from Loki for a moment, just in time to see Loki’s face seemingly freeze.
We have nothing but time, little one, a dark voice echoed in his mind.
You have nothing to worry about, I’ll just take what is mine from you, another voice rattled in Loki’s mind.
Panic gripped his soul as he felt an arm around him, trying to pull him closer. The world seemed to mute, the colors blending. His heart was beating rapidly and his breathing was sporadic at best.
“-up! Come back up,” a voice Loki recognized echoed over his head. When did he fall to the ground? How long had he been there? Was Maw going to punish him again?
“Come one Loki, come back to me,” the voice sounded sharper, more defined as the hand he thought was holding him prisoner was tracing worried lines along his back, “I know a panic attack when I see one. I’m here with you, just gotta breathe with me, okay,”
Loki felt his hand lifted and placed against a chest. He could feel it, rising and falling. A far steadier rhythm than Loki thought possible. All the same, he felt it and tried his best to mirror it. Breathing in. Holding. Breathing out. Slow. Steady. Deliberate.
In.
Holding.
Out.
The world came back into view and Loki saw Tony looking at him with a sheepish but worried look on his face as what sounded like a laugh cut off by a cry broke from the man.
“Had me scared there for a moment. Next time you want to skydive to the ground, let me know. I’ll rent a plane and we can do it with parachutes,”
“I…I did that once,” Loki sat up slowly, trying to right his head as it swam, “Went by the name D.B. Cooper. Pretty sure it confused the hell out of you Midgardians,”
Tony looked ready to respond to that but thought better. Instead, he helped Loki into a chair before asking FRIDAY to send one of the many smaller robots that roamed the lab with some water.
“I do apologize, in all the excitement I think I forgot to breathe,” Loki lied, taking the water when it was offered.
“Or, you had a panic attack from who knows what. Anything you want to tell me about,” Tony looked with pleading, wanting nothing more than to help the man he loved.
Loki looked back at those unwavering eyes. He wanted to tell him. To tell him everything that happened. What he had endured for so long. The pain. The fear. The self-loathing.
Instead, he gave the man a smile,
“Just god things. I promise you I’ll be okay Elsking,”
The God of Lies and Deception indeed.
If Tony was going to try and call him out he didn’t get a chance as a ping came from the broken table,
“Uh, boss. I think I may have something you want to take a look at,” came the voice of FRIDAY, capturing just enough of Tony’s attention that Loki was sure his panic attack was going to be an afterthought
“What’s up FRIDAY? Did you find something juicy I need to know about in S.H.E.I.L.D’s files,” Tony asked jovially as he returned to the display
“Not just yet. Remember when we went looking for your kid and I picked up on an odd data signal leaving the house,” the A.I. asked, the question drawing even Loki over in curiosity
“Vaguely. Thought there wasn’t anything too crazy about it. Guessing you thought otherwise,”
“Well I followed it boss and I found something incredible. Turns out that someone sent a large data file to a server somewhere in London. Not only that, but the signature coming off of it was very similar to my own, if not a little bit rudimentary,”
“What does any of this actually mean,” Loki asked Tony who was looking rather giddy
“It means our kid definitely has more of my genes in him than yours. Can you access it FRIDAY? Even if it isn’t as advanced as you are, an A.I. like that could probably fill in a lot of missing gaps of information about Harry,”
“That’s the thing, it won’t let me. If this was built by your kid-,”
“No ifs about it Fri,” Tony jumped in,
“Well without the passkey or a base code to work with, there isn’t anything I can do to get access to it. The A.I. is basically in hibernation until it's unlocked. Though the server it’s in isn’t registered to Harry Potter. Rather it is under the name Hermione Granger,”
“Hmm, think that name rings a bell. Either way, see if you can find this Granger person and get in contact with her. The A.I. may not be too useful for our case, but I’ll be damned if I let my kid's project just waste away in some rinky-dink server,”
“Will do boss,” FRIDAY responded before signing off.
Loki looked over at Tony who looked pleased with himself, though it was beyond Loki as to why,
“Can’t believe it, not even sixteen, and our kid is out here building A.I.’s. I can’t wait to meet him,” Tony looked back at Loki, beaming like a proud parent,
All the god could do was walk behind his love and hug him tightly from behind.
“Me too, Elsking. Me too,”