Tony Stark
Tony would forever be grateful that being a part of the Avengers meant he could avoid pesky things such as customs and airports. Granted, he had to explain to a very confused airstrip owner that he wasn’t there to recruit him into the Avengers, though according to FRIDAY the man had a great record as a combat pilot. All the same, as the Quinjet touched down in the middle of nowhere in England, Tony happily strode down into the darkness of night without having to spare a single thought for the FAA and whatever hell his ride had thrown into their plans.
“Uh, Tony. Some angry guy is screaming into the radio,” Lang called from back in the Quinjet, “Should I tell him to call you back, or- “the man trailed off, making Tony groan.
“Just make up some lie about it being a mission or something Bug Man. Works every time,” Tony shot back, starting to question if bringing the only other fathers on the team with him was such a right idea.
“Just gotta find the kid, convince him to come live in America and that will be the end of it,” Tony whispered to himself, only to hear a deep chuckle from behind.
“If you think you can convince a teenager to do anything, you got another thing coming Stark,” chortled Clint as he stood alongside Tony, fiddling with his bow as usual.
“Yeah, well I am his dad. Not to mention FRIDAY dug up a few old-school projects he did. Kid is a genius; pretty sure he is dying to meet me regardless. Oh, and why do you have the string and stick with you? Expecting my kid to not come quietly,”
“Oh, I’m banking on him not coming quietly at all, but this isn’t for him. If even a third of what that magic guy said is true, I’d rather be prepared for a fight. Not taking any chances with magic folks, Wanda was enough,”
Tony nodded in agreement. The Scarlet Witch may be on their side but Tony had no intention of ever dealing with her freaky mind powers. There was no telling if these Wizards were any worse in that regard.
“So, angry guy said we are good to park here and not to destroy any landmarks. Also, he thinks I’m your secretary so, that kinda was a hit to the old morale. That aside, what’s the plan, Tony? Break into some magic school and get your kid,”
“Lang, I know your whole thing is being a small thief, but we gotta think of the bigger picture right now,” Tony snarked as he fished what looked to be a toy car from his pocket, “Now, make with the shrinking magic and super-size my ride,”
“Does Hank know you’ve been using Pym Particles? I’m pretty sure Hank actually hates you more than me somehow, and I’m the one dating his daughter,” Lang and his snark earned a chuckle from Clint and a glare from Tony
“Less talking, more unshrinking. We have a hotel to get to,”
Scott tossed one of his discs at the car, it rapidly expanding into a full-sized vehicle. Tony had to hand it to old Hank, his particles were more than amazing. He would never tell it to the man face to face, but thinking it seemed like recognition enough in Tony’s eyes.
The trio of Avengers slid into the car, Tony taking the wheel and they peeled off of the airstrip, FRIDAY taking over navigation with a display projected onto the windshield
“So, you still haven’t told us your great plan, Tony. Right now, this is starting to seem a lot more like a kidnapping than a ‘getting to know your kid’ kind of deal,”
“Look, the plan right now is to get to the hotel, spend way too much on room service, and sleep off this terrible jet lag. After that, we are going to go pay a visit to the kids Aunt and Uncle. If we are lucky the kid will be at home with them. You two are kid knowledge backup while I do all the talking,”
“Right, because you have such a way with kids that you can just talk your way into their hearts,” Lang muttered from the back, though not as softly as he thought
“You weren’t my first choice here Scott. I wanted to bring Vision but he doesn’t have the right type of lost puppy energy that you have,” Tony quipped as he turned out onto the main road,
“You know, I’m going to take that as a compliment. Also, you are driving on the wrong side of the road,”
Tony swore as he swerved into the other lane, moments before a semi came up the road. Yes, that jet lag was taking its toll. Either that or he was far more nervous about meeting his kid than he originally thought. If he even was his kid. Sure, the greasy-haired magic guy knew way too much about his bachelor life in London. And there was the fact Loki looked just like Laci to his eyes now. None of that meant that the kid was his. He wouldn’t know until he could perform the test himself. Once he knew for sure, then he’d figure out his next step.
“For now, let's stick to the current plan of sleeping and eating too much food. Enough to throw Cap’s entire diet plan out of whack. I don’t even know why you guys follow that. The guy is pumped full of Super Solider juice,”
“Yeah, and? Steve has some good ideas if you’d listen to him,” Clint snapped. He had been at the forefront of trying to get Tony and Steve to see reason. Still hadn’t managed it yet.
“Well, when the Red White and Blue douche apologies for lying to me then maybe I’ll listen to him and his diet. Until then you both better order something greasy when we get to the hotel. And yes, I will be taking pictures to flood the group chat,”
“How do you know about the group chat? That’s like a former rouge’s thing,” Lang asked, looking over to Clint who looked equally as confused.
“It’s not like I have an A.I. that can listen in on any transmissions in the mansion. That and Wanda came to me asking how to send emojis to her brother. Me, of all people. Not like we don’t have a resident teenage spider-kid that hangs around the Mansion on the weekends she could ask,”
“You know she did it just because it would bother you, right,” Clint added, twirling one of his arrows absently in his hand
Tony bristled a bit at that. That would be right up her alley. Probably spurred on by that speed freak of a brother. You’d think he’d be a lot nicer after Tony worked hard to bring him back from the brink of death. Nope. He was still dealing with the guy speeding into his lab to steal tools moments after he put them down. Though it did remind him that he hadn’t checked up on the spider-kid in some time.
“Hey FRIDAY, can you pull up a location on Spider-Man for me? Pretty sure he is doing another morning patrol instead of his homework as usual,”
“Sure, thing boss. Want me to patch you through for a call as well,”
“Maybe. We’ll see how much trouble he is in first,” Tony hummed, as the let the car drive itself to devote all his attention to Peter.
The kid had wormed his way into his heart, even if he swore up and down it wasn’t the case. Sure, he was reckless and hacked into his suit to prove that he could stand with the rest of the team, but Tony had been just as reckless at that age. Considering that he didn’t have freaky spider powers to deal with, Tony felt he needed to make sure that reckless streak didn’t end poorly for the kid. He was the only thing keeping the team together at times. He and his movie nights had done more to heal the rift on the team than any amount of therapy. Not to mention the entire team would kill for the kid.
Tony looked up at the screen, the small Spider icon on the map showing Peter swinging over Queens. Swinging rather quickly. And erratically. As if he was dodging something.
“FRIDAY, patch me through, right now,” Tony demanded as he saw the suit register a sudden spike in electrical input.
“Doing that right now boss,”
There was a moment of silence, far too long for Tony’s mental health, before the call connected, and the car was filled with the sound of Peter Parker gasping for breath.
“Oh, hey Mister Stark. You doing ok- WHOA! Hey, can you cool it with the arcs of electricity, I’m trying to have a conversation here,”
Tony watched as the reading of incoming electricity sparked again on his readout of Peter’s suit. Whatever he was doing, it was firmly out of the ‘friendly neighborhood’ category of crime they agreed he sticks to.
“Kid, I don’t know what you’re doing but pull out. I’ll call in the team to take over,” his fingers were already composing the message as he spoke
“It’s okay Mister Stark, I’ve fought this guy before. Granted he wasn’t as juiced as he is now, but I can handle him. Just gotta ground him and no more Mr. Zappy guy,”
“Zappy guy,” Lang muttered from the back seat, before snapping his hands, “Hey, is that that Electro nut you were chasing a few weeks ago Pete,”
“Is that you Mr. Lang? Yeah, it’s him. Caught him trying to drain power from the grid. He’s fast, but I think I’m gaining on him,”
“Your webs should be a good conductor of his electricity. If you web him up and anchor it to a grounding rod, it should siphon off any extra power he has,” Tony shouted, his mind running with the myriad ways this could go wrong. However, Peter sounded confident, and he wasn’t going to undermine that. Not like his own father had done to him.
“That’s my plan, Mister Stark. Hey, Electro-guy, could you just hold still for a moment,” he shouted out in his exaggerated Brooklyn accent.
Tony pulled one of his satellites to watch the fight, trying not to worry as Peter agilely danced around Electro, taunting him to follow him up a skyscraper. The green-costumed bad guy took the bait, not paying attention as Peter snagged his arm the moment he sent out another arc of electricity, no doubt timed with that freaky sixth sense of his. With the web attached to a lightning rod atop the building, Electro had channeled all his excess power and then some down the strand of webbing, draining it right into the building to be harmless dissipated.
Pete swung just in time to catch the guy with a web as he plummeted to the ground and Tony felt an instant wave of relief. His favorite bug-themed hero slapped some odd cuff on his arm before webbing him to a fire hydrant for the police to come to collect.
“There we go. One more bad guy for the Raft Summer collection. You think they give extra points if I collect a whole set, Mister Stark? Uh…Mister Stark, you still there,”
Tony didn’t realize how long he had been holding his breath until he let it out in one relieved huff
“Yeah. Good job under-roos. Uhh, just what was that thing you snapped to his wrist? You aren’t giving out friendship bracelets to super villains are you,” Tony wouldn’t put it passed the kid, he was just so damn nice sometimes.
“Oh, that. It’s like a capacitor. Dissipates any excess electrical charge, enough to keep Max under control until he’s back in the Raft. Hopefully, he gets some help this time. The guy really just got dealt a bad hand,”
Peter, the bleeding heart of the team. Tony would do anything to make sure that the world would never take that spark away from him. Anything.
“Alright, kid. Good job. Why don’t you take the day off and head back to the Mansion? Let one of your elders finish off your patrols,”
“No problem Mister Stark. See you for movie night,” and with that, Peter cut the call and Tony sat back in his seat.
“Well,” Lang finally broke the silence after a few moments, “I think you got some of that Dad stuff figured out. At least the whole worrying part,”
“What are you on about Lang? I haven’t even met the kid yet to worry about him,”
“He’s talking about Pete, tin man,” Clint chimed in, “You went all overprotective dad on him, yet you still gave him some room to solve the problem himself. As far as trying to parent a superhero, I’d say you did an okay job there,”
Tony didn’t say anything, his normal pile of quips running dry at the moment. He didn’t necessarily see Peter as his kid, but he was going to worry about him. Someone had to, and not just his Aunt May. If that was what raising a kid was like, then maybe he had a better shot at this whole thing than he thought. Maybe.
“Yeah, well right now let’s just focus on the one kid I have, okay,”
“Right. The one you supposedly had with the God who invaded Earth,” Clint added, and Tony made a mental note to cut his bowstring when he wasn’t paying attention.
Not that he wasn’t always paying attention. Hawkeye indeed.
Morning came, bringing with it a newfound sense of purpose. Mostly to want to curl back into bed for Tony. Between the minor heart attack Peter had given him the night before, and the whole prospect of this frankly absurd series of events, Tony was very much wanting to just go back to bed and call the whole thing off.
Then he remembered that the only reason he knew he had a kid was that said kid was in danger. That was enough to put some fire in his soul as he tossed the covers off his body. He quickly buzzed through his morning routine before leaving his room in the suite he had managed to secure for them all. Well, FRIDAY managed to secure but that was just splitting hairs at that point.
Clint, annoyingly, seemed to have been awake for some time now. Tony was hard-pressed to think of a time he had ever seen the man truly sleep. He was always on guard, watching from the wings. Even now, as he idly made himself a cup of tea, his eyes were darting between the windows and the doors. Those sharp eyes were calculating every single possibility they could come under attack. Always at the ready. It was the entire reason that Tony enjoyed messing with him from time to time, to try and get him to relax. Sure, they weren’t best buddies after the whole Rouges thing, but out of all the Avengers that joined Cap and his crusade, Clint wasn’t the highest up on his shit list.
Nope, that spot was shared between his best buddy Natascha and the Capsicle himself.
“Look alive Legolas,” Tony quipped, flicking a packet of sugar at the man. Not at all shocked when he expertly deflected it out of the air with a simple stirring stick.
“You do know there are other archers that you could compare me to. Not just the pretty boy elf,” Clint hissed, before striking Tony right between the eyes with another wooden stirring stick
“Personally, I think of it as a compliment. Even Katniss and Robin Hood missed a few shots here and there. That and you are nowhere near as foxy as the best version of Robin Hood,” Tony shot back, taking up a spot at the breakfast bar across from the archer.
“Wait, you actually like Disney movies? I thought it was Pete going around adding those to the movie night list,”
“Hey, Disney’s Robin Hood is a classic. If you bad mouth it, you are off the team,” Tony brandished his spoon as if he was ready to knock it across Clint’s knuckles, when Scott came yawning out of his room, clad in a t-shirt and boxers
“What are we talking about? Kicking Clint of the team for his bad movie choices, because if that’s the case I second that,” Lang yawned out, sleepily fumbling around with the flimsy coffee pot.
“Well not directly, but I have got to know, just what does our resident archer like to watch on these movie nights,” Curiosity was brimming at his words. He had never gone to one of the team’s movie nights, not wanting to be near Steve ‘My best friend killed your mom’ Rodgers. Even though Peter had spent every waking moment trying to convince him to tag along. The kid was getting really close to wearing him down.
Almost, but not quite.
“Oh, Clint is a big fan of musicals. Can’t tell you how many times we’ve had to watch ‘The Sound of Music’ when it was his pick,” Lang chuckled, savoring his first sip of coffee, “Ya know, as much as I love Hank and his coffee farmed by his ants, nothing beats a good cup of terrible hotel coffee,”
“Okay, first off,” Clint started, turning to face Lang, “What do you mean ‘ants that farm coffee’? That sounds so disgusting. Secondly, musicals are far better than the stuff you all pick out. Just how many times can you watch Con Air? Pete is obsessed with Star Wars and he isn’t going around quoting every line off the top of his head. And if I have to watch another sappy romance that Bruce picks-,”
Tony was ready to get in the middle of this conversation when he felt his phone pulse in his pocket. Ignoring the two for now, who were now arguing just who was better Nic Cage or John Travolta, Tony slid off the stool and walked away to take the call. His eyes glanced over at the caller id and cringed inwardly.
What does the One-Eyed Wonder want now, his mind hissed as he took a breath for answering the call.
“Before you even start with some dumbass name,” Fury cut right to the chance, stopping Tony before he could pull said dumbass name from his mind, “Why have you flown halfway across the world right after accessing classified SHIELD files on a magical world that should not exist to you,”
“Well you know me, Fury, I’m all for the freedom of information. That and I have just been dying to escape to London forever now. See if I can catch up with some old friends,”
“Uh-huh. And that required you to bring Lang and Barton with you as well,” Fury sounded utterly unconvinced, which wasn’t a shock to Tony. The man knew secrets about secrets.
“Guys night out. Besides, outside of Vision, these are the only two on the team I can stand to be around for more than a few hours,” Tony glanced over at the others, the two still locked into some heated conversation
“And this has nothing to do with one Harry James Potter nor your connection to his family by way of Sirius Orion Black,”
Orion? The man’s family went all out on the star naming conventions.
“I have no idea what you are talking about. Though if I was interested, just how much trouble would I be looking into getting myself into for finding this world that defiantly doesn’t exist,”
Tony could see the blood pressure rising on Fury’s face in his mind. Sure, it probably wasn’t too smart to needle a man who could single-handily bring down an entire nation before breakfast. However, it was far too much fun to do so. To see just how far he could push before Fury snapped.
“Stark,” he started, growling under his breath, “While I have no idea why you are suddenly interested in the child of an old friend of yours from years ago, I would implore you to not allow your trademark recklessness to ignite a war with powerful magic users. SHIELD may be on good terms with the American magical government, but we have never stepped foot into British territory. Do not fuck this up,”
Swear words, this had to be serious Tony reasoned. He put the fact there was an American government to the back of his mind for now. That would warrant its bit of study.
“Right, well I’m just catching up with some friends, like you said. Nothing more, nothing less,”
“See it stays that way. And whatever you do Stark, do not meddle with Harry Potter. That is all I’ll say on the matter and I will be having someone keep an eye on you,”
“Is it going to be with the eye you lost,” Tony shot into the phone before Fury hung up in what had to be a high level of hate.
Well, this was just getting more and more interesting. If the Director of SHIELD didn’t want him to know about his possible son, it was all the more reason to meddle in it all. Fury may be a master at keeping secrets, but Tony was far more skilled at breaking them.
“Hey, Atom Ant and Katniss, enough of the movie chatter we have got to get a move on,” Tony tossed his phone on the sofa. If Fury was calling him, then it went to reason he was probably tracking it. Better to just leave it here as opposed to making it easier for Fury to find him
“Hey, FRIDAY, let me know if you get a ping of any communications going to SHIELD or see any SHIELD agents. Fury says he has eyes on us and I intended to see those eyes before they see me,”
“And how do you know it isn’t me feeding Fury information? Not like I haven’t worked with the man,” Clint added, already suiting up with his quiver and bow
“Oh, I figured you would, but considering this has to deal with kids, I also figured you wouldn’t want Fury to catch wind of another kid he could hold as leverage over someone,” Tony said plainly, to which Clint merely nodded in response.
“So, about that plan. Do you have one, because I am still very much confused what the play is here,” Scott asked, busy hurriedly stuffing his legs into a pair of pants
“Simple, we are going to go visit the sister of a friend. If what FRIDAY thinks holds true, that Harry is only ever there during the summers, then we talk to the kid. Tell him I’m his actual dad, do a quick DNA test, and fly back with my new son in time to book an appearance with Maury,”
“Yeah, that still sounds like kidnapping when you say it like that. I’ll go grab my suit for when this entire thing goes South. Wonder if the ants over here have like a British accent,”
Tony opened his mouth, searching for something to say, before looking at Clint who merely shook his head.
“Right. So, Scott does have a point Tony, this doesn’t seem like the best plan. You can’t just walk up to a teenager and upend their entire life in one swoop. Hell, I can barely get mine to do their chores,”
Tony wouldn’t say it out loud, but he was just winging it at this point. Sure, he was positive that Severus had told him the truth, his knowledge of Laci being the selling point. Yet there was still doubt in his mind. Going all the way out here without a fully formed plan may have not been the best idea, but Tony always did his best thinking on his feet.
“Well, I’ll be sure to come to you when Pete forgets that even hero costumes need to be washed almost every other day. For now, let’s at least go to this house. The kid is smart, maybe I’ll just spin it like Stark Industries took notice of his old school projects and wanted to give him an internship,”
“Yeah, and that lie worked so well on Peter’s Aunt when you told her,” Clint hummed before going back to fiddle with his bow.
Tony bit his lip as he recalled trying to explain why Peter had come back bruised from what he told her was just a regular internship. He wasn’t too shocked that she had put it all together. Especially with how often Peter would end up crashing at the Mansion after a particularly long day.
“Yeah well, it may work this time. Not like I’m trying to recruit the kid to go fight or anything. Be ready to leave in ten. Lang, I want you to stay out of sight the moment we get there. Go make nice with the local ants. Hell, maybe they can tell you some stuff that they have seen,”
“I mean, that’s not at all how that works but sure. Yeah. I can do that. Stay out of the way and just be an ant on the wall,” he mumbled nervously.
“Be sure not to get squished. Alright, let’s get this show on the road,”
Everything about Privet Drive irritated Tony to no end. It was far too manicured. Too perfect. It was like driving into a Stepford hell and it was starting to make him itch.
For now, it was just him and Clint in the car. They had stopped a block back to let Lang do his ant thing. While he wasn’t too worried about whatever eyes Fury may have on them, the fact that wizards were involved and he had no idea what they were capable of Tony wanted to be sure to have at least one surprise up his sleeve.
His car felt woefully out of place as he drove down the streets, navigating his way to Number 4. Most of the cars were rather conservative in appearance, the kind that someone either had for years or bought after saving for years. It was about as middle-class as you could get. Nothing about it screamed Stark, which made it all the odder that he had a kid who lived here.
“Alright FRIDAY, keep an eye on us. The moment you catch wind of anyone moving about, send Lang in for backup,”
“Will do Boss. Also, I did some digging around the internet traffic from the house. A few days ago, a massive amount of data was transferred to a server located in America. Do you want me to investigate that?”
Tony hummed to himself as the car parked near the curb of Number 4. It could be nothing, but Tony wasn’t going to risk missing something important because he thought it wasn’t important. He had made far too many mistakes that way.
“Yeah, get me a copy of everything that was transferred. Alright Barton, ready to go in here and meet the adoptive Aunt and Uncle,” Tony quipped as he slid out of the car.
“I’d still wish you’d let me bring the bow with me. I know you are trying to go for the whole ‘non-threatening’ thing, but things could very easily go south,” Clint stated bluntly, looking shiftily from side to side.
“Then you’d better hope Lang can get some ants to carry your shrunken gear with him. Besides, I’m sure things will go perfectly smoothly. Now, stop looking like you’re a secret agent, and let’s go get this done,”
Despite the bravado filling his chest, not all of it was true. This was it. A moment that could redefine his life for years to come. Either he was about to go in here and walk out with his kid, or he was going to have to track down a wizard for bringing up an old relationship and lying to him about it. He was honestly hard-pressed on which outcome would be the most welcome.
Tony eyed the manicured lawn with a scoff. How this was the home of someone related to Lily Evans was beyond him. That woman loved wild-growing flowers. The house they shared had a garden that was teeming with multi-colored flora life. Knowing now that she was a witch, it made sense how she was able to get so many flowers to bloom perfectly despite the London climate. All the same, he put his notions of Petunia to the side. He had only met her once and while it may not have been pleasant, it had been a few years. There was a chance she had mellowed out since then.
With his best smile plastered on his face, Tony rang the doorbell and waited. Moments later he could hear the heavy footfalls of someone lumbering down the steps.
“Tuney are you expecting anyone,” came a voice that Tony could only describe as gruff and damn near bestial.
The image in his head was quickly confirmed as the door was opened and he was greeted by the sight of a rather round and large man. His mustache with thick and uncombed and his face seemed to be turning red by the second.
“I don’t know who you are but we don’t do any soliciting around here. No matter what crazy religion you are trying to peddle,”
“Does he think you all are Jehovian Witnesses or something,” Lang hissed into his ear, listening in to everything as he was instructed to. Tony didn’t respond, but he did catch a smirk coming from Clint.
“No, I’m looking for Petunia Evans,” he made sure to call her by her maiden name, enjoying the way the man's face seemed to shake even more, “Just an old friend who wants to catch up,”
“It’s Dursley. A perfectly normal name, not freakish like Evans. And I’m sure my Tuney wouldn’t know the likes of you. Though you do look familiar,” the man's beady eyes shrank even further as he tried to place just where he had seen Tony from, “Don’t tell me you are one of those Freaks,”
Tony was about to question just what he meant by that when Petunia had slunk into view, standing just behind her husband. She looked damn near the same as those years ago. Still far too skinny, with a neck that seemed to be perfectly tailored made for spying on neighbors. Her face was still tight, just with a few extra lines of age. Those lines had gone taunt as she looked at Tony, a glint of recognition crossing her face.
“You,” she pushed her husband out of the way, standing with her arms crossed as she leveled her eyes at Tony, “You were that beatnik fool that hung out with Lily and the rest of her freaks. What are you doing here? Lily’s dead if you are looking for her. Killed by her drunkard of a husband in a car crash,”
The lie slipped so easily from her mouth Tony knew it had o be practiced at this point. Even if Severus hadn’t told him what fate befell Lily and James, he never found any record of them dying due to a car crash. If this was the woman that raised Harry there was no telling what sort of damage she could have done to the boy’s self-worth when he was younger.
Tony may not know a lot about being a parent, but he could spot a bad one from a mile away.
“Is that how you greet an old friend? I was just in the area and thought why not stop by and see how my fourth favorite Evans’ was doing,” Tony made sure to fill every single last word out of his mouth with venom as he glared down at Petunia.
“Wait a second, I know where I’ve seen you from,” the bloated walrus of a man broke in, “You’re that Iron Bloke. The one that beat all those aliens and robots. Saw you on the news at work. Why don’t you come on in? My name is Vernon, Vernon Dursley. Sorry about that freak business,”
The beady glare had been replaced with clear wild-eyed greed, as he ushered Tony and Clint inside.
Tony knew the type. The kind that would abandon all their morals at just a whiff of his success. Seeing that same look on Vernon was making the man feel ill on so many levels. The sooner he got out of his general vicinity, the better.
“Yeah, more than happy to. Tell me, you wouldn’t happen to have any kids around. I’d love to sign something for them. A gift from an old family friend,” Tony practically growled out from behind his teeth. At that, Clint couldn’t help but let out a snort, though it went unnoticed by Vernon. Petunia on the other hand gave the archer a simmering glare.
“Tuney, go get Dudley, he is going to get a kick out of this. And while you’re at it, why not get us a few drinks? Something strong for Mr. Stark and-,” he trailed off as he directed his attention to Clint as he led them to a far too clean living room.
“Oh, nothing for me. Pretty sure whatever you got is…uhm far too good for my blood,” Clint was trying his best not to laugh and if Tony had spent years perfecting his poker face he would be right alongside him.
Petunia didn’t say anything. She gave a curt nod, hurrying out of the room and up the stairs. She could hear her calling out for her son and wondered if the boy was just as odious as the father.
“Now, what can I do for you? Work in drills you know. If you or your friends ever need a good drill I could get you a discount. Think your friend with the hammer would like to switch to a better tool,”
While the image of Thor calling down lighting with a drill may have been amusing, Tony refused to allow it to show on his face. He had only been around the man for a few moments and was already starting to lose his patience with the man.
“Uh, don’t worry about that. I’m sure if I need a drill Grunngings would be able to take care of me. Perhaps your desk mate, Clifton Eckards would be able to help me. After all, I know you’ve been skimming off of his client pool,”
Tony watched with delight as Vernon paled ever so slightly, a thick sheen of sweat starting to form on his brow,
“Oh, don’t worry about it. I started in weapons, you can’t always make it in business without breaking a few rules,” Tony was toying with the man. He wanted to make him sweat, make it easier when he went for the kill, and started asking the more important questions.
From the moment he sat down his glasses had been scanning the entire home. Every photo had been captured and not a single one of them held the image of Harry. Not only that, but it seemed like the boy never lived here. Plenty of odds and ends that belonged to the two adults and their son, but nothing that seemed to indicate another child lived here. Tony gave Clint a small glance and the grimace he got in return let him know they were on the same wavelength.
“Bloody hell, your Iron Man,” came a voice that was not unlike Vernon’s just far lighter and not as filled with greed.
“Watch your tone around the guest Dudley,” Petunia hemmed between her teeth. She escorted her son into the room before handing both Tony and Clint a glass of what looked to be wine. A quick sniff from Tony and he could tell it was about as cheap as you could get and heavily watered down.
The strong stuff indeed.
“Yep, the the same.,” Tony pressed on, putting his wine on the table and giving Dudley his attention.
Unlike the one photo he had seen of Harry, Dudley looked for more well-fed. He had some muscle on him, but there was no escaping the bit of fat that seemed to pervade his facial features. His eyes were wide, filled with a bit of wonder and curiosity. If he were to put his number on it, Dudley was probably the most well-put-together of the Dursleys’. For whatever that was worth.
“I’m actually a friend of your aunts. She and I go way back and I just wanted to pop in and check up on her sister,” Tony kept the lie going, wanting to see how much more information he could pull from them
Dudley, however, seemed to have other plans.
“You’re here about Harry, aren’t you,” he said plainly.
Vernon looked ready to explode as his face shifted to a shocking purple tint. Petunia on the other hand hissed, going over to pull her son out of the room.
“Forgive my son, he sometimes makes things up,” she started, trying to keep that fake smile of hers going.
“Mum you know I’m not. Harry might be in danger if Mr. Stark is here,” Dudley tried to reason with his mother, who looked torn between giving into his words or trying to deny the boy had ever spoken.
“You’ll have to forgive my son. You see my wife’s sister had a son and Dudley just misses the little tyke. He died in a crash with his parents ages ago,”
“Really,” Tony began, finding his rage starting to build and that same lie, this time throwing his possible son in there as well, “I find that odd that Petunia never mentioned that when she told me the same. I would think your nephew dying would make you a little bit sad,”
Clint had sat up in his chair, feeling the shift in the conversation. Tony also heard Lang muttering about infiltrating the kitchen with a legion of ants. While Tony was more than capable of handling whatever these people could dish out, there was still the possibility of wizards to worry about.
“He isn’t dead,” Dudley shouted, pushing his mother’s arm out of the way, “Some of his people came to take him away after he saved my life. I don’t know where he went but-,”
“Dudley that’s enough,” Vernon roared, getting up and looking ready to knock the boy with one of his meaty fists. Clint was already on his feet, grasping Vernon’s arm with ease
“Why don’t you just sit right back down for us,” he spat, pushing Vernon back into his seat while staring down the man with those cold eyes of his.
It was safe to say Vernon was very intimidated.
“What does this have to do with that freak of a nephew,” Petunia hissed, trying to keep some form of her composure.
“Oh, so he isn’t dead, well that’s going to make this a lot easier,” Tony stood, putting on his best business glare, letting himself fall into his element, “I need to know where Harry Potter is. You don’t need to ask or even know why. You tell me where he is and I’ll be on my way,”
“We don’t know,” Petunia said tightly, trying to keep her composure, “Bunch of those freaks came and took him away, and good riddance I say. It is bad enough that Lily was one of them, I hated having to let that freak live in my house for free,”
“Him,” Tony said as quietly as he could, his anger rapidly rising to the surface, “Not freak. Harry. You know what, don’t even say his name. I haven’t even met the kid yet and I can tell you saying his name would be an insult. Like throwing dirt on something beautiful,
“I don’t care what you may think about the people who took him or what he or your sister was, but I need to find Harry. Someone told me he was in danger and I owe it to Lily to make sure that he is safe. Now, we can do this one of two ways. Personally, I’d like to avoid getting lawyers involved, but I’m more than sure that I can have a case against the two of you for neglect in a heartbeat,”
“You can’t do that! We are decent, hardworking folks,” shouted Vernon, still being held in place by Clint’s unwavering glare, “We took that frea-that boy in when we shouldn’t have had to. We should be rewarded for taking care of him,”
Tony was hard-pressed to think of what counted as care for these folks and was about to say as much when he got a sudden message in his ear.
“Hey, uhh, Tony, were you expecting Fury to show up at the door,” the diminutive hero informed him, just as the door to Number 4 was opened and the sound of heavy boots walking in filled the air.
“Stark,” shouted the voice of Fury as he stood in the kitchen, arms crossed and looking royally pissed, “What the hell did I say about getting involved with things that are out of your wheelhouse,”
Tony and Clint looked over at Fury and then at each other. Despite not having a lot of communication with each other, the two of them seemed to be thinking the same thing.
That being since when did Director Fury of SHIELD start wearing Doc Martens?
“Right, well, Nick, seeing as you have graced us with your presence, maybe you could help us with figuring out where a certain boy wizard is,” Tony asked as casually as he could, waiting to see if this was Fury or, as he was thinking, some type of copy.
“I’m sure that, whoever this boy wizard you are talking about is, he has nothing to do with you,”
That sold it. If there was one thing Tony knew about Fury, he hated being called Nick.
“Right. Hey Micro Machine, do your thing,” he spoke out loud and several things happened at the same time.
For starters Clint’s bow enlarged out of nowhere, the archer catching it and quickly nocking an arrow and letting it fly at the imposter Fury, striking their hand as they started to pull out a stick of some kind. The arrow sent a pulse across their body, stunning them and sending them tumbling to the floor.
Just as the faux Fury was stunned another person joined the fray, seemingly appearing from out of nowhere. He was large and imposing, drawing his own stick and swishing it in the air. A bright ball of red came flying at Clint who barely had time to dodge and ready another arrow. In the midst of it all the Dursleys were shouting, trying to find cover behind their sofa and loveseat.
Tony didn’t want to be left out and quickly tapped his watch, a gauntlet forming across his arm and he quickly fired a repulsor blast into the air, punching a hole in the ceiling and getting everybody’s attention.
“Alright, let’s just take a step back for a moment before we start throwing more magic beams, arrows, and science beams at each other. Who the hell are you two,” Tony gestured to the tall dark-skinned man still holding his stick and the faux Fury who was struggling to stand up, “And why the hell are you pretending to be the Director of SHIELD? I tried that once and Fury was not happy with me,”
The stick-holding man looked from Tony and then to Clint, his eyes trying to figure out just who was the worse threat at the moment. He opted to keep his stick trained on Clint while keeping his eyes locked on Tony.
“We are a part of a magical law enforcement that has a direct connection with Nicholas Fury. He let us know that you were interested in Harry Potter and told us to be on the lookout for you. Now your turn. What do the Avengers want with the Boy-Who-Lived,” the man asked, his eyes never wavering from Tony’s.
“Okay, I can play the question game. Simply put, a man with a really bad hair care routine appeared in my Mansion one day and said I had a secret magic love child I didn’t know anything about. I just really wanted to meet him to find out if he was telling the truth. Now, for my question; where is Harry Potter,”
“I cannot answer that,” the man began, looking as if he was slowly putting things together in his head.
“Well, that’s not how you play the game. Do I need to explain the rules to you,”
“Fury wasn’t kidding when he said you can be aggravating Stark,” a small smirk seemed to play along the man’s lips, “Tell me, did this man look as if he was above everything around him? Had a real condescending attitude,”
“Yeah, that sounds like him. Don’t tell me he is some type of grifter. I don’t think the world could survive any magic grifters,”
“No, but he is someone that wouldn’t meddle in anything without a good reason. If you don’t mind, I think calling him may clear this all up,” the man lowered his stick from Clint, though the archer had yet to lower his weapon, before looking over at the fallen faux Fury, “Tonks, think you can pull yourself together long enough to keep an eye on the Muggles,”
Tony’s eyes were drawn to the fake and watched as his body began to shift. Dark skin quickly gave way to a more cream complexion as pink hair exploded from the top of Fury’s bald head. Within moments the fake was gone, replaced by a woman who was looking rather sheepish
“Wotcher there with the bow. You got some quick draw time, I barely had time to think about a spell before you tagged me,”
“Yeah well, you were a pretty bad fake. If you want to impersonate someone, make sure you know all their mannerism, or else you’ll give yourself away,” Clint joked, letting go of a bit of tension from his bow but not putting it away entirely
“Well I didn’t have a lot of time now did I? Kingsley just showed me a picture of his cousin and told me to act all aggressive. Not a lot to go on,” the woman, named Tonks it seemed, continued as she got to her feet. She looked far more at home in the Doc Martens than Fury ever would.
Tonks walked over to the still hiding Dursleys, Vernon angrily yelling about suing them over the damage, and escorted them out of the room, leaving Clint, Tony, and Kingsley to just eye each other warily. It took Tony a second though to fully process what had come out of the young woman’s mouth.
“I’m sorry, cousin. Fury is your cousin? Also, you probably shouldn’t tell him how bad of a job your shape-shifting friend back there did as him. I don’t think the man finds imitation to be a form of flattery,”
Kingsley let out a laugh, an actual laugh at that, one that seemed to make tears fall from his face, if only for a moment.
“No, Fury would not. And we aren’t directly cousins. His mother is my aunt’s cousin so more like play cousins as he put it. When he became director of SHIELD he came right out to tell me he knew I was a wizard and wanted to share information about anything dangerous in our world. The Wizengamot may not know about our agreement but the DMLE doesn’t have to reveal everything to our leaders,”
“Okay, that was a lot of proper nouns and acronyms all at once. Didn’t you say you were going to call the slick-haired wizard or something,” Tony breathed, clearly getting a bit exasperated by everything going on.
“Oh, forgive me. Let me do that right now. I do have to use my wand and I would like for you friend with the bow to not shoot me for it,”
“Long as you don’t do anything freaky with it you should be fine,” Clint chimed in, his hands ready to draw back his arrow if need be.
Kingsley took that as a good enough sign to continue and brandished his supposed wand once more. Tony watched, glad that FRIDAY was recording all of this for him, as he said some Latin-sounding gibberish, and what looked like a silvery ghost cat exploded from the tip of his wand.
“FRIDAY, what’s the energy readings you are getting off this,” Tony whispered as he saw Clint lift his bow once again.
“It’s hard to say, Boss. Whatever he is outputting I can’t pin down what kind of energy it is. Not even Thor has readings like this when he is throwing around his lighting,”
Tony had no idea what to make of that. Whatever this magic stuff was it was far different than anything he’d seen before. Hopefully whatever readings FRIDAY did get could give him a good starting point.
“Alright,” Kingsley said, drawing Tony out of his mind as the silvery cat sped off in the distance, “I think we should be expecting Severus rather shortly. Until then, shall I get us some chairs to be a bit more comfortable? I fear these current trappings are less than comfortable,”
Another brandish of his wand and the sofa and loveseat quickly became plush chairs. Once again Tony was fully confused by magic and wanted to know everything about it.
Kingsley sat while Clint and Tony remained standing. Clint wanted nothing to do with magic, while Tony was scanning around the room. His glasses picked up Lang resting atop the mantel of the fireplace, a handful of ants standing by at his beck and call. Between the two of them and himself, Tony figured if this was a trap they could handle it.
“Seeing as I hate small talk,” Kingsley began as Tony finally took a seat, “Why don’t you tell me what makes you so sure that Harry is even yours? I must say you are causing a lot of ruckus for something you aren’t even sure is true,”
“I don’t even know myself. The moment the greasy-haired wizard said the name of my lover from back in London it sorts of lifted a veil from my eyes. I could see him clearly for once. That and the whole doing magic bit kind of sold me that there might be some truth,”
“Him,” Kingsley questioned with a quirked eyebrow, “I was under the impression that you thought Lily was your lover. Are you saying it was actually James?”
Tony didn’t get a moment to answer as a crack in the air gave way to the appearance of Severus, the greasy-haired man looked at the three of them with an air of utter indifference on his face.
“Well, nice to see that your son takes after you in causing me far too much trouble Stark,” sneered Severus as he looked down at Tony with a glare.
“What can I say, being unpredictable runs in the family. Speaking of family, could you tell London’s Finest over here what you told me? I get the feeling he thinks I’m lying,” Tony expressed with a simple hand gesture
“Yes, I would love some more information myself, Severus. Impossible claims require impossible evidence,” Kingsley gave Severus a curious look, something unspoken between the two of them
“I have more than enough evidence. I would like you to call Amelia Bones if you would. I have a feeling that we may have Potter’s well-being in mind far more than anyone else in the Ministry. Or the Headmaster for that matter,” Severus continued, before pulling out three vials filled with silvery wisps and a large disk of some kind from a small bag in his hands.
Magic just keeps getting more and more confusing, thought Tony.
“What makes you think that we care more for Potter than the Headmaster,” Kingsley asked
“Simple, you aren’t the ones trying to either have him silenced or keep him locked up. I may not overly care for the boy, but he is still Lily’s child, even if it is a surrogacy. I owe it to her to keep him safe,”
“Are you saying that Headmaster guy you were talking about has my, alleged, son locked up somewhere and you are here wasting time that could be spent trying to save him,” Tony spat, getting irritated even more
“Even with all your fancy Muggle toys, you would be no match for Albus. If you want to save your son, we have to play this smart. Considering what this would mean to the entire Wixen population, you would be best served by convincing the Department of Magical Law Enforcement before you start fighting over custody of Potter,”
“Well then, I guess me and the DMLE are about to become good friends,” Tony gave Kingsley a wink that the man didn’t return.
Clint looked over at Tony, giving him a questioning eyebrow. All he could do was shrug his shoulder in return. There was only so much information that they had, and here was somebody that seemed to have not only answers but also a possible way forward.
“Well Lang,” Tony looked over at the mantel where the shrunken hero was still seated, “Looks like we are going to have a plan after all,”