Chapter 8
“I made out with Malfoy in the astronomy tower.”
“You did what ?”
Harry shrugged sheepishly. Hermione’s eyes were glittering as she grinned at Harry.
A few days had passed since the incident in the astronomy tower, and Draco had been avoiding Harry like the plague. Harry didn’t bring it upon himself to track Draco down, however, mostly for the reason that he felt embarrassed and rejected. Draco had run out in the middle of the kiss, meaning it was perfectly clear how he felt toward Harry while Harry was still in turmoil trying to figure out what exactly he felt toward Draco.
At the end of the day, Harry still didn’t have a definitive answer for the question. He didn’t know what had been going through his head when he kissed Draco. Perhaps he could blame it on the alcohol, but Harry didn’t think the firewhisky had muddled his brain that badly. After all, it had been almost four days and Harry still felt the urge to try it again.
So maybe that was the answer. Harry wanted to kiss Draco again, stone cold sober, which probably meant that Harry at the very least felt some sort of attraction toward him. But did he have genuine feelings?
Harry struggled to wrap his head around the fact that he may have feelings for the person he’d fought every single school year up until this point. It simply didn’t make sense, did it, that he could fancy Draco?
Eventually, he decided to confide in his two best friends about the matter. He had to admit that more often than not, Hermione knew Harry better than he knew himself - and Ron would definitely alleviate the situation and make it not seem so serious.
What he hadn’t been intending on was to blurt out the fact that he and Draco had kissed over breakfast while his ex-girlfriend, Ginny Weasley, was still sitting next to Ron. He truly hadn’t meant to spring this on his friends in such a manner, which should have been blatantly obvious by the way Harry blushed crimson red once he realised what he’d done.
The events leading up to the confession were as follows.
That morning, Harry had already made up his mind that he wanted to talk to Ron and Hermione about what had happened. He decided to try his luck with Ron first as they were getting dressed and ready for the day, but just as he’d begun to speak, the door to their dorm burst open and Seamus and Dean walked in together.
Ron immediately started up conversation with the two, casually cracking jokes while all Harry could do was stare at their interlocked hands. How could they stand there, so at ease as they leaned against each other, laughing at something stupid that Ron said? Could he and Draco ever have something like that? Did Harry even want to?
“ Harry .”
“Yeah?”
“Are you coming?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” Harry shook himself out of his thoughts, flashing a half-hearted smile at Seamus and Dean as he walked past them to join Ron. If he’d been distracted before, it was nothing compared to right then.
When the pair reached the Gryffindor table, Ron craned his neck to search for his girlfriend. They found her soon enough, who waved to indicate where she was once she spotted them. Harry and Ron made their way over to her, only to realise that sitting directly opposite Hermione was Ginny.
Ron reached the table first and sat down next to his sister, while Harry took the only empty seat next which was beside Hermione. Harry shot Ron a grateful look, to which Ron responded with a shrug and a wink.
“Hi, Harry!” Ginny smiled awkwardly.
It wasn’t as if the pair hadn’t interacted at all since the breakup. After all, they’d agreed that they would remain friends. But they rarely had the same classes and Ginny pretty much had all of her free time occupied with being Quidditch captain, so Harry hardly ever got to speak to her. This meant that there was still some of the post-breakup awkwardness lingering between them.
“Hi Ginny.” Harry smiled back. Then, realising that everyone was still looking at him, decided he should start up some sort of conversation. “So, er, what were you two talking about?”
“Just … boy stuff.” Hermione answered vaguely.
“Boy stuff?” Ron whipped his head around to stare down his sister. “You have boy stuff going on?”
Ginny tried to wave it off.
“It’s nothing serious, Ron, stop hovering over me and have breakfast. Oh and if you tell Mum I’ll kill you. She doesn’t even know Harry and I broke up yet.”
“I wouldn’t tell Mum.” Ron sounded thoroughly offended.
“Oh yeah?” Ginny crossed her arms. “Who’s the one who told her that I had a crush on Harry?”
“That was years ago.” Ron protested. “Alright, so who is he? Promise I won’t tell.”
“Ron, I highly doubt Ginny wants to talk about this, especially not to her brother and her ex boyfriend.” Hermione glanced over at Harry, who was surprised but not very offended by the matter. After all, even if they had only officially broken up around a month ago, their relationship had been rocky for much longer than that.
The first few months following the war had been difficult for all of them. Ginny was dealing with the loss of her favourite brother as she mourned with the rest of her family, while Harry was envious despite himself that she had people who shared her grief.
No one mourned Sirius the way Harry mourned him, and although he’d lost many people since then, Sirius’s death remained fresh in Harry’s mind. He missed Dobby, he missed Remus, and he missed Hedwig more than anything. Some people understood in bits and pieces. Hermione was able to be more sympathetic when it came to Dobby, most people missed Remus, the only halfway decent DADA teacher they’d had who’d eventually felt more like a friend than a teacher, and Ron understood what it was like to lose a pet. But both his girlfriend and his best friend were trying to process the death of their brother while Hermione had to begin the long, arduous process of returning her parents’ memories. No one could really lend each other a shoulder to cry on when they were all busy trying to stay upright on their own two feet, fighting the urge to crumble every single day.
During those dark months, none of them really kept in touch with each other, so it was inevitable that Ginny and Harry should drift apart the way they did. By the time they realised the romantic spark was gone, they were halfway aboard the Hogwarts Express.
“It’s nothing serious.” Ginny cut in quickly, glancing over at Harry as though embarrassed.
“I think it’s great.” Harry tried to reassure her, but all his bluntness succeeded in doing was making Ginny blush scarlet and look away from him.
“Thanks.” Ginny replied after taking a long sip of pumpkin juice. “Have you, er, got anything going on then? Would you like me to set you up with some girls? There are loads of people who keep asking me to introduce you to them even though I keep telling them you’re probably not looking to date someone right now.”
“Is no one else picking up on how weird this is? Two people, formerly in a relationship, sitting opposite each other at breakfast and talking about their love lives.” Ron shook his head. “Madness.”
“I think it’s perfectly healthy for exes to remain friends.” Hermione raised her eyebrows. “So, Harry, what do you say to Ginny’s offer?”
“Thanks, but no thanks.” Harry tried not to look suspicious.
“Why not? Go on, mate, it could be nice to go out on a date or two.”
“No, really, Ron, I’m alright.”
“If you say so.” Ron took a bite out of his toast, oblivious to Harry’s strained voice. Nothing made it past Hermione, however, who was now studying Harry like one of the books she pored over in the library.
“Are you already going out with someone, Harry?” Hermione asked carefully.
“Wha- no.” Harry refused to look Hermione in the eye. Unfortunately for him, this time he didn’t manage to slip under Ron’s radar.
“Oh Merlin, you are going out with someone. Who is it? Is it someone we know?” Ron put his toast down in all his excitement. At this point, Harry could feel a flush start to creep up on his neck as he determinedly avoided looking at the Slytherin table.
“I’m not going out with anyone.” Harry shook his head. “I-”
“Ron, leave him alone.” Ginny glared at her brother crossly.
“Wasn’t trying to pry, mate.” Ron smiled sheepishly. Harry shook his head, but his head was ringing. He wanted to tell them. He felt he needed to, or else his head would explode.
Suddenly Ron narrowed his eyes as he stared at something behind Harry.
“What?” Harry asked, beginning to turn around.
“Malfoy keeps looking over here.”
Harry felt himself stiffen and he looked back around to face forward so quickly his neck cracked loudly and quite painfully. Hermione rolled her eyes and reached over to massage the back of his neck for him.
“Malfoy?” Ginny peered in the direction Ron was looking. “No, he’s not, what are you talking ab- oh no, wait, he is. Strange.”
“What do you reckon he’s plotting? Because I bet he’s plotting something. Come on, Harry, this is your favourite game. Let’s play what’s Malfoy up to this time?” Ron didn’t seem to notice Harry choke on his eggs. Hermione thumped his back without a word.
“I made out with Malfoy in the astronomy tower.”
“You did what ?”
So that was how it happened. He’d been feeling so flustered with all the talk about Malfoy and the tiniest possibility that maybe if Malfoy was looking over at them, he wasn’t indifferent to Harry after all, that it slipped out of his mouth in the least tactful way possible.
“I knew it.” Hermione smiled happily.
“Oh, wow.” Ginny blinked.
“Malfoy?” Ron sounded outraged. “Of all the people in the world to snog, you choose Malfoy ?”
Harry nodded slowly, waiting for Ron to completely blow up. His brown eyes darted between Harry and the space behind Harry’s head that he’d been looking at moments before. It made Harry even more anxious than before. Now that the initial shock was over, Ron’s second reaction was going to be his real, genuine opinion on the topic. Therefore it was with some bewilderment that Harry watched as Ron burst into a fit of laughter.
“Guess we know what he’s plotting now, then.” Ron gasped in between breaths. The remaining three stared at Ron, wondering if he had lost his mind. “He’s trying to get into Harry’s pan- ow .”
Ginny smacked her brother on the back of his head before he could finish his sentence.
“Oh, grow up.” She rolled her eyes, then turned to Harry with a smile. “I’m really happy for you, Harry.”
“Don’t be yet.” Harry shook his head. “Malfoy kind of ran out halfway through.”
“Oh, Harry.” Hermione placed a hand on his arm sympathetically.
“Yeah, well, no need to feel bad for me.” Harry glanced over at Ron, who’d mostly sobered up. “I don’t even know if I like him.”
Hermione and Ginny exchanged a look that Harry didn’t like. It was like they were his two concerned mothers instead of his best friend and his ex girlfriend.
“If you don’t like him, how did the kiss even happen?” Hermione asked carefully.
“I dunno.” Harry shrugged, attempting to feign nonchalance. “We were drinking, so I guess I must have been drunk.”
“Drunk enough to kiss Malfoy?” Ron raised his eyebrows. “No offense, mate, but if you don’t like him, you have to have been hammered to be okay kissing Malfoy.”
“I don’t think I was that drunk.” Harry admitted. “But it doesn’t make any sense, does it? Me liking Malfoy.”
“These things rarely make sense, Harry. I mean, when I first started realising I had feelings for Ron, I thought I was losing my mind.”
“Hey.” Ron pretended to glare, but his features softened into a smile soon enough. “Same here, to be honest. I mean, we were such good friends that I thought it was impossible for me to feel that way, but here we are.”
“But it’s Malfoy .” Harry protested.
“So what?” Hermione shrugged. “Look at it this way, Harry. Maybe this development isn’t as out of the blue as you think. You’ve been going back and forth with Malfoy for years when honestly, it would have been easy to just ignore him. That’s how most people dealt with him, anyhow. But you chose to retaliate every single time. You were obsessed with him in Sixth year. Maybe that attraction has been there all along, you just didn’t realise it.”
“But I hate Malfoy.” Harry thought out loud, not noticing that all his friends had suddenly gone very quiet.
“Harry?” Ron sounded tense.
“Yeah?” He replied, still distracted.
“ Harry .”
Harry looked up, saw that all his friends were looking in the same direction, and followed their gaze. Standing only a short distance away was Malfoy, rooted to the spot. For a split second, their eyes met and Harry thought he looked hurt. Without a word, Malfoy spun on his heel and walked briskly away.
Harry’s stomach sank as he looked back to his friends and Ron confirmed what he’d been thinking.
“I think he heard you, mate.”
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If Draco had been avoiding Harry before, he must have acquired an invisibility cloak of his own now because Harry never caught a glimpse of him. He didn’t even show up to the two classes they shared, and when Harry asked his professors about him, he found out that Malfoy had requested to switch classes to a different time. Normally this wasn’t allowed, of course, but he’d managed to convince the school to let him do so and the professors refused to tell Harry how.
Despite all his friends being convinced that he did, in fact, have feelings for Draco, Harry still felt unsure. What he did know for certain was that he didn’t want Draco to think that Harry hated him, because he didn’t, and it seemed wrong to let him continue believing something that wasn’t true.
He’d even resorted to waiting outside the Slytherin dorms until Slughorn eventually told him he had to leave because he was causing discomfort to the younger years who walked past him as he stared after them like a hawk.
“Give it up, Harry.” Ron said after about a week of Harry trying and failing to talk to Malfoy.
“He’ll come around eventually. Just back off a little, then Malfoy will let down his guard and accidentally stumble across your path. That’s when you go talk to him.” Hermione advised him.
But Harry wasn’t just upset that Draco was avoiding him because he wanted to talk about his feelings. That was quite secondary, in fact. The real reason he was so anxious to see Draco was because he was worried about him.
The Slytherin girl that he’d trakced down and intimidated into giving him information, Ella Harrington, had approached Harry three days ago. Since Ella usually scurried in the opposite direction whenever she so much as caught a glimpse of Harry, he was confused as to why she would voluntarily seek him out. After all, she’d brought him the list of people that harassed Draco and Harry had turned the list directly over to McGonagall. In sympathy for the girl, he’d refused to tell McGonagall about who it was that gave him the list.
To his alarm, Ella tearfully explained that the group of people that despised Draco for having been a Death Eater had received punishment from McGonagall, and they were absolutely furious. They thought it was Draco who turned them over and they were planning something vicious in return.
“I don’t know what they’re planning to do exactly, but I heard them say they were going to finish him off for good.” Ella’s face was blotchy and her eyes were swollen as she told Harry everything she knew. “They won’t tell us anything. Whatever they’re planning, they’re going to do it themselves this time.”
“Okay, well, if it’s that serious you should tell Professor McGonagall.”
“No.” Ella shook her head violently. “Please don’t tell her, Harry, they’re already suspicious of me, and if you tell again, they’ll know it was me.”
“Alright, fine.” Harry sighed. “Come straight to me when you find out anything more, okay?”
Ella nodded and started to walk away.
“Wait.” Harry called after her. She turned back.
“Have you seen Draco around?” Harry hesitated. “Is he okay?”
Ella nodded, confused. She’d thought the two were good friends from how protective Harry seemed of Draco.
“He’s okay.”
“Okay.” Harry repeated quietly. “Good.”
With a tentative smile, Ella hurried away, disappearing into the crowd of students, and Harry searched the crowd for a shock of blonde hair out of habit.
He just hoped Draco came around soon.