Chapter 6
They didn’t have anywhere to pour the alcohol in, so the pair had no choice but to take turns taking sips straight from the bottle. For the first few minutes, they didn’t say much at all. Harry relished the burning sensation that slipped down his throat, not having drank alcohol in a while.
As he passed the bottle to Malfoy, Harry tucked his knees up into his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Then he propped his head on his knees cushioned by his arms, face turned toward Malfoy. He watched in an alcohol-induced haze as Malfoy raised the bottle to his lips and took a long gulp. It was almost fascinating, the way Malfoy’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as the fiery liquid passed through Malfoy’s throat that appeared even paler in the glow of the moonlight that shone through the window.
Malfoy offered the firewhisky back to Harry but Harry shook his head slightly to refuse. He was already feeling a little light-headed, and he was perfectly content to stay exactly where he was and not move an inch, staring at the boy beside him.
“Suit yourself,” Malfoy shrugged, and took another long sip for himself before setting the bottle down between them. “So, are you going to tell me about your nightmares or what?”
“Way to ruin the moment,” Harry muttered. Malfoy laughed softly.“I wasn’t aware there was a moment to ruin.”
Harry wasn’t sure if it was because his brain was starting to feel foggy that Malfoy’s voice sounded deliciously smooth. He struggled to regain composure.
“What do you want to know?” He asked in a poor attempt to divert his attention from how pretty Malfoy looked with his blonde hair falling haphazardly in his face.
“What are they about?”
Harry sucked in a breath. The subject at hand was definitely one that forced him to sober up a little despite his efforts to lose himself to alcohol.“It’s different every time. Most of the time they’re about losing people important to me.” Harry frowned. “Like Sirius, when he fell through the veil. I keep thinking of ways I could have saved him. Ways I could have saved everyone that died. But it’s no use, because no matter what I try, they always end up dead.”
“Sirius Black?” Malfoy questioned. Harry winced, turning his face away from Malfoy and burying it in his arms instead.
“Yeah. He was my dad’s best friend. He was my godfather.”
“Oh.” Malfoy paused. “I didn’t know. I thought-”
“I know.” Harry laughed bitterly, raising his head from his arms and leaning it back against the stone wall. He pressed back into it hard, distracting himself with the dull pain. “He didn’t even get to clear his name properly before he got killed. We had all these plans, y’know? For me to move in with him. He was the only family I had left, and I let him get murdered right in front of me. I think I go back to that night the most. The night at the ministry.”
“Then there’s the night Voldemort came back. Remember, during the Triwizard tournament?”
Draco flinched beside him, but Harry didn’t notice. He was too deep in memories and dreams, all jumbled up inside him so that he didn’t quite know what was real and what was false anymore.
“I remember.” Malfoy replied quietly, and something in his voice made Harry look over at him again. “I thought you died that night.”
“What?” Harry had never heard of this before.
“I was way up in the stands, and when you came back, there was all this confusion. Everyone was panicking and people were talking about you and someone being dead, and I thought it was you that died.” Malfoy shook his head. “Weasley and Granger were nearby, they damn near had a heart attack. We all thought you’d died.”
“Why did they never-”
“Well, once it was cleared up that you were alright and that the Dark Lo- that Voldemort was back, I’m sure there wasn’t much time to dwell on the brief two minutes when we thought you were dead.”
Harry fell silent, trying to process this new bit of information. He’d been sure everyone knew that it was Cedric who died, and never considered the possibility of rumours and words being mixed up in the process.
“Were you glad?” He asked eventually. Harry wasn’t an idiot. He had no intention of ignoring the fact that he and Malfoy had been on opposing sides of the war. He couldn’t help but wonder if Malfoy would have rejoiced in Harry’s supposed death.
“I was fucking terrified.”
Alcohol was a funny thing.
It made Harry’s head go a little fuzzy, just enough to where he didn’t care what was right and what was wrong. All he could see was Draco in front of him, looking so gorgeous in the moonlight that he didn’t quite know what to do with himself.
“Are you glad I’m alive?” Harry asked.
“Very,” Draco breathed, his response almost lost to the silence of the astronomy tower.
Neither of them knew who initiated what.
Before they knew what was going on, their mouths were falling together in a way that both of them had desired for a very long time, although they’d never been quite aware of it.
Harry thought it was so very wrong as he drew breath from his nemesis, breathing Draco’s air and sucking gently on his bottom lip.
Harry didn’t know what he was doing, so very caught up in the moment that he didn’t care who he was or who Draco was. The only thing that mattered was that Draco was so goddamn pretty with the silvery glow of the moon falling across his face and Harry very much wanted to swallow all of it. He wanted to swallow Draco and his silver-white hair, his haunted grey eyes that held all the darkness in the world, his soft pink lips, all of it.
He wanted to devour everything until it was his, pressing against his former nemesis until there was no space left between them, gasping for breath and struggling to get the better of the other.
“Malfoy-” Harry breathed, and was startled to find Draco pulling away from him in an instant. He dodged away from Harry’s lips chasing his but smiled a little.
“Malfoy?” Draco questioned, his grin looking so much like the devil’s that Harry couldn’t find it in himself to catch his breath.
“ Draco .” Harry surged forward again, joining their lips together.
“I-”
Abruptly, Draco shoved Harry away from him. Harry’s eyes were still unfocused, staring intently at Draco’s lips but not chasing him down just yet.
“I can’t.” Draco shook his head violently, jumping to his feet. He ran out of the room, knocking over the bottle in the process. Harry stared dumbly after him.