Counselor Hunt
Remus was okay with being friends with Sirius, but between the campfire and their late-night conversation, Remus is finding it increasingly hard to stay just friends. Remus finds his eyes drifting to Sirius across the dining hall, and his stomach twists, while he listens to Sirius, toss and turn in the bunk above him. And it doesn’t help that Sirius has been flirting. It started with the staring at the campfire but has turned into subtle touches and cocky compliments and Remus really can’t handle it. It’s all going too fast for him to process. But Sirius is laughing at a joke that James told, lake water is dripping down his face and Remus wants to trace the droplets down his jawline. He thinks he might have to settle for tipping himself out of his kayak and never resurfacing.
“Remus? Hello?” Lily is a few feet away floating in her own kayak.
“Mhm?” Remus pulls himself out of his thoughts.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, fine.”
Lily narrows her eyes. “Spill.”
“Really, Lils it’s no big deal.”
“So you admit there’s something up?”
Remus groans and runs his hands down his face. “No. . . Yes.”
“Okay, so spill.”
“I . . . I can’t say it.” Remus feels his cheeks warm up, and he is overly aware of his proximity to Sirius, who is, thankfully, not paying attention. Lily, on the other hand, is not backing down. “It’s Sirius.” Remus finally grinds out.
“Oh? Are you guys not getting along? You could probably ask Minnie to switch with Arthur. Though I’m not sure James is a better option.” She shoots a glare across the lake. James is as oblivious as his best friend.
“No, it’s not that,” Remus grimaces.
“So what then?” Lily’s furrows her brow. Remus sighs, and then a look of understanding passes over his best friend's face. “Oh. My. God.” Lily grins. “You’re into him! Dorcas and I were so right!”
Remus shushes her and shoots another furtive look toward Sirius.
“Oh, you totally are!” She says, thankfully quieter this time.
“It’s really nothing, and he’s leaving in two months anyway. And I don’t- um.”
“You don’t, what?”
“I don’t- urgh, I don’t know.”
“You know he’s into you too,” Lily offers.
“He’s not.” Remus immediately shuts her down. “He flirts with everyone. Did you see him and Marlene at breakfast this morning? Or him and Mary during arts and crafts?”
“Marlene’s a lesbian,” Lily says bluntly. “And Mary has a boyfriend at home. She calls him every night before bed.”
“Oh.”
“You were too busy looking at Sirius to see the looks Marlene and Dorcas were sharing over their Lucky Charms.”
“Ok but-”
“He didn’t take his eyes off of you once the other night Remus, just saying.”
“Lily!” A camper yells from the beach. “Come make a sandcastle with me!”
“Duty calls,” Lily smiles. “For the record though, just because summer ends, doesn’t mean you couldn’t have something serious.” She calls behind her as she paddles to shore.
“Hey! I didn’t say I wanted anything at all!” Remus yells after her, indignantly.
“Lover’s quarrel?” Remus whips his head around to see Sirius paddling up behind him.
“What?” Remus splutters.
“Trouble in paradise?” Sirius tries again, gesturing to Lily.
“Oh,” Remus says. “Me and Lily aren’t- um we're just friends.” Remus pauses and has a momentary internal debate, before spitting out: “I’m gay.”
“Oh.” Sirius does a double take. “Cool. Sorry, shouldn’t have assumed.”
“It’s fine,” Remus’s heart is beating irrationally fast.
“So who’s the lucky man?” Sirius is still smiling, but Remus sees something flash behind his eyes.
“Bold of you to assume that’s what we were talking about.”
“So there is someone?” Sirius’s voice loses its teasing tone, and his eyes harden.
“You sound like Lily.” Remus complains. He isn’t sure how to have whatever conversation they are having right now.
“Low blow,” Sirius shakes his head. “Come on, we’re basically roommates!” He’s laughing again now. “Are we going to need to co-parent the campers when you run away with your mysterious lover?”
“Now you’re just being mean,” Remus says. He doesn’t mean it though, he's laughing too. “Come on, we should head in.” He’s grateful for an opportunity to switch the conversation.
“Yeah, we have to prepare for all-camp, right?”
“And get the boys ready for their weekend at home.”
“We have to win tonight, I bet James twenty bucks that we would.”
“Jesus,” Remus laughs.
~~~
“So what are the rules to this game?” Sirius asks as he and Remus truck through the woods.
“Were you not listening?” Remus sounds only mildly annoyed.
“Nope,” Sirius says shamelessly. “James was distracting me, the bloke won’t shut up about Lily.”
“James is into Lily?”
“Yes? How have you not noticed?” Sirius asks, shocked. “He follows her around camp like a lost puppy.”
Remus just shakes his head and smiles. His eyes crinkle and they're walking close enough together that Sirius can make out his freckles. He fights the urge to trace them with his fingers and instead asks: “The rules?”
“Right, sorry,” Remus nods. “Basically it’s glorified hide-and-seek. All of us counselors hide somewhere in camp and the kids have to find us. If they find their own set of counselors they get five points, if they find any other pair they get two. If they find Minnie or Poppy they get ten. Whichever cabin has the most points at the end of the hour wins and gets to push everyone else in the lake.”
“Seems kind of boring for us.”
“It is, but the kids always love it. Besides, we’ll play capture the flag on the last night of the summer, and that’s really a great time.”
“So where are we hiding?” Sirius asks. He and Remus have been walking away from the main camp for almost five minutes, and Sirius’s legs are too short to keep up with Remus’s long ones for much longer.
“Just wait, we’re almost there.”
A few seconds later a rickety old shed comes into view. Half the roof is caved in and a large spider web covers the only window.
“You want me to go in there?” Sirius gawks. He’d follow Remus a lot of places, but this is pushing even his limits.
“Come on, it’s plenty clean inside,” Remus says.
“Uh,” Sirius is unconvinced.
“Just- urgh,” Remus grabs Sirius’s hand and drags him towards the door. Sirius is too distracted by the sudden contact to protest any further. Remus’s hand is big and warm, and Sirius’s whole body feels a little tingly. When they get inside Remus looks down awkwardly and their hands and quickly pulls away. Sirius tries not to look too disappointed.
“Sorry,” Remus mutters.
“S’fine,” Sirius isn't sure what to say. He’d been quite sure his flirting had been falling on deaf ears and after their conversation on the lake, he’s even more confused.
“C’mere,” Remus gestures towards a thin, short door on the back wall of the shed.
“No way we fit in there!”
“You said you wanted to win,” Remus raises his eyebrows.
“Well, even our campers won’t find us here!”
“Gid and Fab know camp like the back of their hands. They helped us close this shed up last fall.” With that, Remus squeezes through the open door, and Sirius has no choice but to follow him.
The space is quite small, just enough for the two of them to squeeze side by side. Remus’s head brushes the top of the closet and his tawny curls are squished into his head. Sirius's left shoulder is pressed firmly to Remus’s chest and there’s no room left to move away.
Sirius inhales a cloud of dust and coughs. “This is cozy.”
“Sorry,” Remus winces.
“It doesn’t matter who wins, I’m shoving you into the lake either way after this,” Sirius mutters. The warmth of Remus’s body is actually making him feel a bit fuzzy inside, but he’s quite sure now is not the time to admit that.
“Oh come on, a month in the woods hasn’t hardened you up a little bit?” Remus’s voice is vibrating in his chest and Sirius can feel it on his back. Sirius’s breath gets shorter and he tries to think of anything but Remus.
“Not enough for this,” He mutters. Silence falls between them and Sirius reaches for something to say. He settles on, “Tell me about yourself?” and cringes almost immediately.
“What?” Remus huffs out a laugh.
“We’re going to be here a while, just making conversation,” Sirius tries to shrug, but just ends up elbowing Remus in the gut.
“We’ve been living together for two weeks, you’re just now asking this?”
“Well . . .” Sirius only feels mildly awkward. He really doesn’t know much about Remus. Just the story he overheard him tell Christopher and the shadow of the story from last summer.
He’s relieved when Remus relents and says: “What do you want to know?”
“I don’t know anything. Where you grew up maybe?” Remus sighs, but to Sirius’s surprise starts talking.
“I grew up a few just hours north of here in a tiny little town called Beaver Bay. I had a few good friends, and my parents were great.”
“I’m sensing a but,” Sirius isn’t sure he should pry, but he can’t help himself. He looks up at Remus who’s brows are furrowed.
“It wasn’t a great place for me. I wasn’t widely liked by my peers,” Remus sighs. “Coming here was really the best part of my childhood, and I just never really left.”
“It’s a special place,” Sirius says, he tucks this information about Remus away in a special corner of his mind. He’s not quite sure what else to say. He has the sense that he just broke through to a piece of Remus that was previously locked away. Sirius isn’t sure how he got lucky.
“Yeah, it is.” Remus goes quiet for a second. "Sorry was that what you were asking?” Remus looked bashful.
Sirius nodded, “Yeah, I mean whatever you wanted to tell me.”
“What about you? Where’d you grow up?” Remus asks.
“It doesn’t matter,” Sirius says quickly, too quickly. He cringes at the tone of his own voice.
“Right, never mind,” Remus's voice is tight, annoyed even. “You can pry into my life but I can’t do the same.”
Sirius can’t fight the anger? The anxiety? In truth, he can’t even articulate the feeling swirling in his brain. It’s a knee-jerk reaction of anger, learned from the very family that now causes the emotional response, and it’s stupid because kind, passionate, awkward Remus couldn’t understand why his words caused such a reaction. Part of Sirius hopes he never understands.
“Fuck, sorry Remus- I-” Sirius takes a breath. “You’re right I shouldn’t pry, not if I can’t handle it. I just can’t talk about my family. I don’t talk to my family. Ask me quite literally anything else.”
“Ok,” Remus says slowly. “Who’s your favorite band?”
“What?” Sirius gasps.
“Your favorite band, who is it?”
“You’re not angry? Um shit- um.”
“I’ve never heard of that one,” Remus says dryly.
“Goddamnit Remus, my favorite band is T. Rex.”
“Good taste, I’m more of a Duran Duran guy myself.”
Sirius is quite unsure of what just happened but it’s making it much harder for him to not turn around and kiss Remus into next week. Thankfully he’s distracted as the door or the shed swings open and sunlight spills inside. Gideon and Fabian are wearing matching grins, their bunkmates close behind them.
“Told you,” Remus says, Sirius doesn't need to look up at him to know that he's gloating.