Loving from a distance

In the following few days it occurs that James often happens to show up exactly where Regulus is.

Be it in an empty corridor, in one of the classrooms after Regulus had lessons there with the excuse that he had to talk with the teacher, or his secret place, the astronomy tower.

He always seems to know exactly where Regulus is.

Coincidence, is it?

Regulus doesn't think so. But he doesn't question it, either.

Sometimes secrets have to stay secrets, no matter how curious one is.

They always chat for a bit. And Regulus hates to admit it, but James really is not as stupid as he thought.

He is quite funny, actually.

He always laughs about his own jokes and Regulus can't do anything but laugh with him.

He likes James' laugh. He likes it very much, actually.

It may even be his favorite sound in this entire world.

He knows that he his falling. He knows that it will either end great or with a shattering heart.

But he doesn't want to think about that right now.

It's James! He couldn't hurt a fly if he'd want to.

No. If anything goes downhill, it would be Regulus' fault.

For falling too hard and too quickly. Not caring at all about the consequences.

Because he is. He realizes that now.

He's starting to fall in love with James. Because how could he not?

As his friends have said from the beginning. He's the black cat boy in need of a golden retriever boy.

And there's no bigger golden retriever boy in this world than James Fleamont Potter.

He should have seen it coming, honestly.

And as of now, the two boys sit under the starry sky in the astronomy tower, sitting in a comfortable silence, close, but not close enough to question it.

Regulus has been sitting here this whole evening, and some time around 11 pm, James has come through the door, closed it and came across the room to sit next to Regulus, not saying a word while doing so.

That was half an hour ago. They haven't spoken since.

Regulus enjoys being with James. It is easy, he doesn't have to overthink it.

He can just... be.

Still, slowly the silence starts to irritate him. It doesn't really suit James' natural energetic behavior, even though it is quite nice.

Just as he is about to say something, James points at the brightest star.

"That star there is Sirius, right?"

Regulus sights.

"Yes, that's correct. The dog star."

James chuckles at that, unknowingly that Regulus knows exactly why.

They are quiet again for a while. Busy looking at the night sky.

"Where is your star?"

Regulus, trapped in his thoughts, stiffens, until he slowly points towards a much more dim, yet still bright star.

"That one. It's the heart of the lion."

Another silence. Regulus lets his gaze drift through the sky until James breaks the silence again.

"It's beautiful."

Regulus hums and turns towards him, only to see James already looking at him.

The atmosphere in the room changes.

The intensity of James' gaze goes through Regulus' whole body.

Hazel meets grey, and both are not able to look away from the other.

It is as if there's electricity vibrating in the room, rotating between the two bodies, pulling them towards one another.

Regulus' eyes flicker down to James' lips, and after looking into his eyes again he sees James doing the same.

Is this here really happening? Can this be real?

They are so close. And they get closer with every second.

Regulus does not know who is closing the distance in the end. Maybe it is them both.

Their lips connect softly and butterflies seem to explode in his stomach. Regulus feels a hand on the back of his head pulling him closer.

He pulls his own hands out of his lap, his body now directing completely towards James, and puts them on James' cheeks, dragging him completely into the kiss.

It is the most beautiful thing he has ever felt.

It seems as if his emotions would be caught by James, who shows him that they are okay, and who treats them like the most important thing in this entire world.

It makes Regulus feel safe.

It makes him feel wanted.

And oh, how he craves that feeling.

When his lungs start to protest, he breaks the kiss. It is the least thing he wants to do, and yet he thinks scaring James with him fainting wouldn't be the best reaction after their first kiss.

Although he probably would see it as a compliment.

That smug bastard.

They look into the other's eyes and smile at each other. It is spoken silent, but Regulus can hear the "wow" escaping James' lips.

He smirks at that.

The clock striking midnight is what breaks the weird atmosphere.

James chuckles, stands up, and holds his hand out for Regulus to take.

"Well, Mister Black, we, as it seems, have stayed out here quite long. Don't you think it is time to return to our safe homes? Just imagine the talk that would come upon us, if someone catches us!"

Regulus, trying to hide his blush from the kiss, smirks up at him, but catches his hand and pulls himself up rather quickly.

Suddenly in a devious mood, he stands close to James and looks up at him under half lidded eyes.

He can feel the breathing of the other boy speeding up and has to stop the smugness from showing on his face.

Who would've known that, of all things, he would be the one to silence the one true James Potter.

If only his brother could see this right now. His anger would be enough for Regulus to live the next year with a continuous smile on his face.

But for now, he pushes back any thought of Sirius. This is his moment.

He leans closer and licks with his tongue slowly over his lips.

He can feel James' burning gaze on them and is about to connect their lips once again, when he moves to the side instead and kisses James' right cheek.

With that he steps back without looking at James, and walks towards the door leading outside of the tower.

Seemingly confused he turns around and looks at James under narrowed eyes.

"You coming?"

James, still staring with a slightly open mouth, nods dumbly and follows Regulus out of the room.

Together they make their way towards the Slytherin common room, no one daring to say a thing.

Outside the moon is shining through the windows, giving the hallways an mysterious and dark atmosphere. Regulus rather enjoys that. It is exactly what he needs right now.

The chill after the excitement of the last hour. It is perfect.

And being with James, who walks slowly next to him while stealing short glances into his direction from time to time, thinking Regulus wouldn't notice, makes it even better.

James, who is so bright that even the sun would be jealous. Who spreads such warmth, that everything Regulus wants to do is jump in his arms and snuggle into James' chest.

The knowledge, that James wants him too, makes him fuzzy.

Maybe there truly is something loveable about him. Maybe he deserves being loved, even after everything that his parents have told him. Even after Sirius left. The only person that ever cared.

Regulus starts smiling and he can't seem to stop.

James looks at him through confused eyes, but then starts smiling too.

Of course he would.

James bumps his shoulder into Regulus', who rolls his eyes, still smiling.

They come to a stop in front of the Slytherin common room.

Nobody is saying a word. They are just standing there, looking at the other, waiting for something to happen.

James, finally, clears his throat.

"Well, this was a nice evening I would say."

Regulus has to stop the urge to roll his eyes.

"Yes, James, it was."

"We, uhm, we should do this again some time."

"What, kissing?"

James blushes and looks away.

"That too, yes. It was quite..."

Regulus can see James searching for words, so he answers for him.

"breathtaking?"

James chuckles at that.

"Yes."

"We should. I enjoyed it too."

"You did?"

At James' wide eyes, Regulus' gaze softens.

"Yes, James, I did. Otherwise I wouldn't have done it."

James' blush deepens, but he manages to look into Regulus' eyes again.

"I enjoyed it too."

"Well, then I would say that we can do it again."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Cool."

Regulus chuckles.

"Yes it is."

James seems to realize that he is looking at Regulus with adoring eyes, because he takes a step back and a goofy smile appears on his face.

"Well, have to get going now. I'll see you tomorrow."

That sounds more like a question than an actual statement.

"Yes, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Great!"

James turns away slowly and is about to walk away, when Regulus sighs.

"James, wait."

James turns away confused, only to widen his eyes at the sight of Regulus walking towards him, pulling him down to his height and kissing him firmly.

They both close their eyes simultaneously and put everything into the kiss.

Regulus thinks he's addicted to this already. James' smell, the way soft sounds escape his mouth whenever Regulus' teeth slide over his bottom lip, and how James doesn't seem to hide anything from him.

Regulus wants it. He wants all of it.

He wants to know everything about James, wants to crawl inside of him only to see everything about the boy revealed to him.

Only to him.

The thought of anyone else seeing him like this lets jealousy spread through his whole body and he instinctly tries to pull the other boy even closer.

James seems to like that.

Regulus smiles into the kiss when he hears the approving sounds.

The kiss stops with both boys smiling widely at the other.

Regulus whispers one last "good night", before he walks through the portrait hole that leads to the Slytherin room, leaving one speechless James Potter behind.

He wishes it could always be like this, nothing would ever change. He clings to that hope, it keeps him from falling apart.

He needs this. Even if he destroys himself through it.