there is something wrong with all of you.
that is also wrong with me.
and maybe if i knew i was enough at the start,
i will leave this place with him.
and all people say im so fake -
well, i learned this step by step from them.
sometimes, if you want to survive,
you played by rules what you doesn't like.
and when i take paper and ink
i don't know what to say.
words never been my work,
my work been stay calm and just be here.
there's something feels so hard,
somewhere deep in my chest;
and i don't understand:
it's the fear or the guilt?
maybe need i to write my mother,
(knowing she never needed in my words);
maybe i need to write my brother,
(but i know, he doesn't want this letter after all.).
but the truth is rough and i write
"to the dark lord"
and don't write "fuck you" on the next line;
i broke my quill, continued scribbling: because it's my last time.
and after all of my words i think:
this is how feeling live and not just be alive?
my initials down in the page and i want to started to scream,
but i only can breathe in and breathe out.
and isn't it funny, how you think?
knowing be part of this was my dream.
but one day i wake up and see:
it's all broken like a piano in the house of Black.
and I close the lid,
on Your life and mine;
because i play in long games
and this one? i won before the start.
and maybe in the end
when someone tell someone about me
im finally will match my name:
not the Black one, just the R.A.B.
and in the end, my name made my fate;
Regulus - the brightest star in the Leo constellations.
so maybe its my fate to die
as daring, courage and determination one?