Chapter 2
Draco didn’t manage to get any sleep last night, he stayed up for hours until the bright sun lit up the sky and woke all the others up. He tried to lay in bed at some point, it was probably three in the morning by the time he got up from the floor in order to cover himself with a warm blanket so that he wouldn’t actually freeze to death. Nonetheless no matter how tired he was, the blonde boy simply couldn’t close an eye without thousands of thoughts invading his mind like little demons
How did Harry find the notebook? Where? When? Did he find it two days ago when Draco lost it or only found it last night right when he was spotted reading it? What exactly did he read? What does he know. What does he think of Draco now. Why was he up in the woods that late? Wasn’t he cold?
And so many other wonders he is afraid to know the answer to
He sighs while putting a black blouse on and after covering his body with the Slytherin robe he takes a look at Blaise who distracts him with a whistle
“Lost in your head again?”
Draco doesn’t answer him, he just shrugs and reaches over to grab his books
“Did you find the notebook? Me and Pansy searched everywhere last night again man but we couldn’t find shit” Blaise states with a frown, they both exit the room then head towards the hall to get to their first class which is potions
How is Draco supposed to ask for the notebook back if he can not even look at Harry properly in the eye, now on top of it all knowing Potter is fully aware of everything that’s written in there. Malfoy is slowly starting to actually get mad while thinking how much his privacy was invaded in such a way. But again it kind of is his fault as well for losing it
“I sort of did” Draco whispers under his breath, he doesn’t wait for another question before he continues “I caught Potter reading it last night by the lake, I have no idea where he found it but he definitely didn’t care to give it back when he found out who’s is it”
“What the hell was he doing with it?Think he stole it from you or something? And fuck that is not important did he give it back?”
“He uhh well-“ Malfoy groans not knowing how to explain the whole situation exactly “I didn’t want Potter to think I stalk him some sort of shit that I followed him at night so I am gonna confront him today and tell him I already know he has it and to give it back”
Better lying than actually admitting the truth. Yeah no I saw him and ran away because he looked to pretty and I panicked
“What’s so important in that notebook anyway can’t you get another one?”
Draco stays quiet, he knows Zabini wouldn’t judge him if he knew the truth about him being gay and well pretty much in love with Potter, Malfoy even has the slight idea that the dark skinned boy already knows. Pansy definitely does know so his other friend probably does too, they’ve just never actually spoken about it, nor will they, but it’s a whole different thing to say that in the notebook are pretty much all of his thoughts on the golden boy. Dark, Romantic, Emotional, Sexual and so on the list goes with the variety in which he described his deep desire for Harry in between those pages. Draco can’t admit that out loud
“It’s nothing important just some things I can’t afford to lose” My feelings
“Well goodluck man” Blaise encourages as they enter the class,furthering away towards his desk next to Pansy who waves at them “see you at lunch Dray, I won’t come to the other classes till then because I have some things to solve but catch up with you there”
Draco just nods not feeling up for anymore talking, he is curious of what does Zabini have to solve that he won’t be able to come to all the other classes but his mind is in a fog. He can’t bring himself to care enough to actually ask for an explanation so he slowly goes to his seat next to where Granger rests her head on the back of her palm writing something on a paper, a sad look on her face
“Why so gloomy today Granger?”
Although the boy knows his face looks probably just as damaged as hers, puffy red eyes, dark eye bags, rough hair. Even if her hair is always messy and all over the place, today it’s even worse
“Could ask you the same question Malfoy” She replies, it doesn’t come out as mean or sassy but much rather her tone is confused and curious
“You look like you haven’t slept in years”
“I know” Draco sighs “Couldn’t close an eye these days, just some stupid things troubling me nothing important. What about you?”
It’s still a little bit weird for the Slytherin boy to be nice maybe even kind towards people, especially with people he supposedly hated for a long while, but it’s nothing he can’t manage to do
He had to face Voldemort multiple times, talking to Granger is easy enough off a task if he pulled the other one off
“It’s just Harry and Ron you know…being Harry and Ron”
Malfoy immediately takes interest at the hear of Potter’s name. Images of the boy from last night when he was reading under the tree flash through his head but he tries to push them away quickly
“What did they do to you?”
“They’ve done nothing to me but they are arguing with each other a lot and it’s stressing me out because I am in the middle of it as always”
“Potter and Weaselby arguing? Well that’s…surprising”
Draco never had the redhead at heart, he always seemed to be way too clingy and loud for such a small human plus his voice it’s really obnoxious for some reason. Let alone not to mention how much he despises the other Weasley, the Ginny girl with her long hair and wanna be innocent face which pisses Malfoy off every time he spots her close to Harry
It is jealousy, Draco is not familiar with the feeling but he does recognise it from the way others have described. His chest burns imagining Harry hugging, kissing, touching the read head girl. It makes him want to go and snap her neck in half then knock some sense into Potter-it’s maybe even envy a little because he knows Harry probably actually does those things with Ginny-and it hurts a lot more than it should
“First of all it’s Weasley not Weaselby and second of all they do argue a lot, used to before in the past, but now it’s just getting worse”
“Why? Weaselby not comfortable with Potter shagging his little sister?”
Draco cringes at his own words but he really does mean them, he hates probably as much as Ron the idea of Harry with Ginny so at least on this page they’re the same. Hermione rolls her eyes and shrugs off the question
“Quite the opposite actually…” She whispers under her breath, Draco wants to ask what does she mean by that however before he can do that she points a finger at him and stops him
“By the way I almost forgot” Hermione leans down to pulls something from her little bag than hands it to Draco
He has to keep himself from gasping out loud as Slughorn enters the class at the same time
“Harry told me to give you this. Said he found it and knows it’s yours but didn’t get the chance to give it back”
Draco stares agape at the notebook and takes it with shaky hands from the curly head, not knowing what to say, he is petrified by a sudden realisation which until two minutes ago it was just a doubt
Harry definitely read everything if he knows it’s Draco’s
“Malfoy you alright? Is it not yours?”
“Oh no-I mean yes it’s mine Granger. I’ve actually been searching for it for a while. Just surprised Potter found it…and knows it’s mine”
“Draco I think you and Harry should talk….It’s clear that the rivalry between you two makes no sense anymore especially according to the fact that you threw the wand at him that day, you basically were one of the most important parts in saving everyone from the War, I doubt there is any point in pretending to hate each other because I may not be the best at guessing but I can tell he doesn’t hate or still keeps you accountable for the harsh words spoken in the years before, I am sure neither do you anymore mean to harm him or anyone for that matter actually. And if not be friends then you two could at least try and get along because for crying out loud we are not kids anymore plus we may as well all try to be alright with each other hence we are one of the few people who came back to repeat the year anyway. All this childish things we used to have going on don’t make sense anymore. Look Malfoy I am aware we are not close but mark my words, you know I am right”
Draco needs to inhale a deep breath in order to register every word Granger just told him, it’s obvious that she is more than right and it doesn’t make sense anymore to pretend they hate each other. Or at least for him to pretend, maybe Potter does still hate him, that’s one thing he can’t know precisely despise what his new friend said, the truth is never easy to figure out
“Miss Granger and Mister Malfoy I would appreciate it very much if you would discuss your personal problems outside the classroom hm?” Professor Slughorn explains with a stern tone, everybody looks at them and they both share a look before turning to the professor
“Yes we are sorry professor” Granger is the one to speak up while Malfoy just nods
The Slytherin boy turns back to playing with the cover of his notebook, he opens it with a sigh and begins to read the last thing he wrote. Forgetting completely of where he is, of everyone around him
‘Would have Potter given me the notebook back if I didn’t catch him reading it? Does he know that I know he was reading MY notebook’
Draco’s stare travels down through the pages with no meaning or intention to read further any of the words he had written in there, he is about to close it and pay attention to the class when something catches his eyes
On the last page there’s a stain of blue ink, ink which he never uses because he doesn’t like the contrasts of if next to the crayon drawings he sketches on the corners, curiously he turns the page and gasps quietly when he sees the few rows written there in what is definitely not a writing he recognises to be his own
‘I am sorry for taking your notebook, I had no idea it was yours when I found it at the lake two days ago, I just took it because I thought it’s a meaningless thing someone had lost and I can use it for silly notes (The snake drawing on the cover interested me, I couldn’t’ help myself) Only when I opened it and saw that it’s already used I had the intention of putting it back where I found it but curiosity got the best of me so I started reading it….I am sorry again, for invading your privacy without asking but I had no idea it was yours in the slightest until I managed to figure it out with the help of what’s written in it. I hope you forgive me
PS: Please meet me at the lake tonight, at the same hour as when you saw me last night, it’s the only time when everything is quiet. I believe we have some things to talk about.
H.P’
Draco snaps the book into closing, he can feel a few pair of curious eyes on him including Granger who frowns confused, but his head is too high up in the clouds in the moment to care about that, he is not able to even think about anything at all for that matter, there’s nothing in his brain but a few little phrases
Harry wants to meet with him
Harry wants to talk with him
Does Harry want an explanation?
Does Harry want to tell Malfoy how disgusting he is for writing all that about him?
How is Malfoy supposed to meet Harry under these circumstances?
Fuck, Draco is gonna have far more worse year than he had initially anticipated
By the time lunch comes around, the blonde boy couldn’t seem to focus at all on anything or anyone around him, a certain pair of green eyes stopping him from thinking like a normal human but much rather like a teenage virgin boy who just got asked on his first date
Except he didn’t get asked on a date, he is not a virgin and his mind is as troubled as the one of an adult by the past so he doesn’t consider himself a teenager either. He is everything but those things, yet he feels exactly like it
“You know Draco sometimes I wonder if you just space out or actually travel to space”
It’s Pansy’s voice that makes him come back on earth and roll his eyes. She is sitting in front of him on the other side of the table while Blaise, who snorts while chewing on a fruit, is on his right
“Leave me alone” Draco groans “I didn’t get any sleep last night”
Malfoy can see on his friends face that she wants to ask more of it but something is holding her back, she has a knowing look in her eyes and a small hint of a grin on her lips which for some reason scares both Slytherin boys who look at one another with the side of their eyes
“Zabini told me Harry stole your notebook” Pansy starts “How did that happen?”
“He didn’t steal it” Draco hisses seriously “He found it by the lake and didn’t know it’s mine, he read found out and told Granger to give me it back. I have it now so it’s all good”
“So then what’s with the sad face” The brunette mocks some puppy eyes and pouts her lips discreetly “Scared your secret crush knows your secret secrets”
Draco’s eyes widen, he almost chokes on the apple he was chewing and alarmingly looks around to see if anyone heard that but luckily for him there is nobody close to them and those who are seem to be minding their own business
Both Blaise and Pansy laugh at his reaction, makes the boy growl
“He is not my secret crush you dumbasses”
“Oh no of course he is not secret” Pansy laughs “We’ve been aware of it since like the third grade man who are you trying to fool”
Suddenly Blaise clears his throat and puts on a moddy face, crosses his arms over his chest and starts talking in a very well known accent “Stupid bloody perfect Pootah- with his perfect hair and perfect Pottah glasses”
By the time he stops Draco is glaring at the other boy as if he could kill him in an instant and Pansy is laughing like a maniac holding onto her stomach
“Gosh you’ve always been so obvious about it Dray I am actually sorry that after all these years you still didn’t manage to fuck the guy”
“Shut up you two idiots ok I like him so what? Am suffering enough knowing he’s shagging the Weaselby girl, you two could at least give me a break”
His friends are still grinning from ear to ear but at least they’re not laughing at him anymore, Draco continues to chew on his apple with a blank expression and starts looking around the room at nothing in particular. He can see a group of hufflepuf girls giggling at something an older guy had told them,he rolls his eyes at them meanly, his stare travels to the Gryffindor table which he analyses from one corner to another
Or at least he tries to do so because his gaze stops when he locks with a pair of eyes. Emerald eyes. They hold such an intense stare that Draco almost chokes on his food
He doesn’t look away and neither does Harry, his green eyes are trying to hide the embarrassment that he got caught staring by the way they widen nonetheless they don’t move away from Malfoy’s even for a second. The blonde boy feels himself blushing, deeply, his cheeks are on red fire, the heat is not spreading just throughout to his face but also his chest his legs his palms which start sweating as each second passes by
Then Harry smiles, and Draco’s heart starts dancing
He wants to get up and go kiss the smile away with his lips, feel it against his mouth, wants to hide his face in Harry’s chest so that he wouldn’t be able to see the blush and grin at him anymore
But he can’t, definitely can’t do any of those things. So instead he just bites his bottom lip and keeps his eyes locked on Potter who not once looks away
‘It’s gonna be an interesting night tonight Potter’ It’s the last thing Draco whispers in his head, before he starts mentally preparing himself for the midnight to come around