I truly am my parents' child

It was yet another evening at Hogwarts. Most of the students were currently sitting in the Great Hall, filling up their stomachs with dinner while the faster ones were enjoying some free time in their common rooms before heading to bed.

James Potter and his three friends were sitting by the table, enjoying dinner as they continued talking about a new prank, they wanted to pull on the Slytherins.

It was a peaceful evening and nothing could change that.

Or so James thought.

The black-haired boy reached out his hand to put some potatoes on his plate but before he had a chance to even grab the scoop, his body jerked to the side as somebody’s hand forced him to turn around.

James jumped in his seat, not expecting that sudden movement before a frown found its way to his face.

He looked up, his eyes meeting the greenish-hazel orbs that belonged to none other than Barty Crouch Jr. James knew Barty wasn’t a fan of him, but he tried to at least respect him for Regulus’ sake. Right now, though, the Slytherin looked as if he was going to kill James on the spot.

James blinked a few times and was about to ask what happened, but Barty’s voice which was dripping with venom made him shut up and wait for what the taller boy was about to say.

„Alright, Potter, what did you do?“ Barty hissed into James‘ face, his eyes staring a hole into James.

James frowned in confusion „Pardon me?“

Barty groaned, clearly getting annoyed. „You know what I said.“

„I do, but I seem to be missing the reason for your question.“ He had to fight the smile that was creeping onto his face. In his defence, asking James Potter what he did was like asking a five-year-old what ice-cream flavour they wanted. There were just too many options.

Barty glared at him. „He’s doing it again so something must have happened. I already asked Black, and it wasn’t him, so it was clearly you. Now stop acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about and start answering my questions.“

That made James’ smile immediately disappear. „Now I’m seriously confused. Who are we even talking about?“ He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, looking at Barty as if he could figure out what was going on just by the look on his face.

The three other boys were just looking at them with confused expressions although if you really knew Sirius, you could see a hint of worry in his eyes. Remus immediately noticed that and squeezed Sirius’ hand under the table, making the smaller boy look at him.

„Are you okay?“ He mouthed quietly, watching Sirius’ expression change into an even more worried one.

„I have a bad feeling.“ Sirius admitted, running his slightly shaking hand, which wasn’t in Remus’ grasp, through his wavy hair.

„About what?“ Remus asked kindly, drawing circles on Sirius’ hand with his thumb in order to try and calm down his boyfriend, who was clearly anything but calm right now.

„Reggie.“ Sirius whispered before he stood up, bolting out of the Great Hall as if his life depended on it. And he wasn’t far from the truth. It might have not been his life that depended on it, but his little brother’s.

Remus didn’t hesitate for even a second and was already on his feet, running after Sirius. Peter just looked at them but made no effort to move, understanding this was clearly a family matter.

James didn’t pay the duo any attention, too focused on what Barty was saying to even notice they left. His only goal was to figure out what was the Slytherin in front of him talking about.

Even if Barty didn’t say who he was talking about, yet, the bad feeling in James’ stomach was enough to convince him he knew who the taller boy was talking about all along.

„Are you that stupid? How many boyfriends do you have, Potter?“ Barty almost yelled at the boy in front of him, clearly losing patience and even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud, he was worried about Regulus. About his friend.

Barty did notice Sirius running out of the Great Hall, Remus close behind, but if he was being honest, that could have caused more harm than good. It was true the Black brothers were on relatively good terms now, but it still didn’t change the fact that Sirius could quite often be an idiot who didn’t think before saying or doing something. And that little something could fuck up the already bad situation much more.

„Oh…“ A realisation hit him like a brick of walls. Of course, this was about Regulus.

„Yeah, oh. I’m glad we solved who we are talking about so we can move on. Now tell me, What. Did. You. Do?“ Barty asked, leaning closer with each word until he was too close for James‘ comfort, forcing the Gryffindor to move back a little.

„I- nothing. At least not that I’m aware of.“ James frowned, not remembering doing anything that could upset Regulus.

„Oh piss off! You must have done something. Did you two have an argument?“Barty asked as if he didn’t already know an answer to that.

Basically the whole common room could hear them yelling at each other. However, the problem was that all they could hear were muffled screams. Even if Evan and he were standing right in front of the door to their and Regulus’ dorm, they couldn’t really make out any words and it wasn’t long before the whole room fell silent. At first, they thought one of them finally realised they forgot to put on a silencing charm, but they were soon proven wrong as James Potter bolted from the room, ran down the couple of stairs, and soon he was out of the Slytherin common room with a slam of the door. A few minutes after James left the room, the door opened again. This time it was Regulus. He didn’t pay his classmates any attention and simply walked past them and out of the common room just like James did a few minutes prior. All everybody could see was the ordinary emotionless face of Regulus Black, but Barty and Evan weren’t stupid. They could see the sadness in their friend’s red-rimmed eyes, and it made them even more concerned.

Now, anybody who knew James Fleamont Potter also knew he would never hurt or even raise his voice on his loved ones. Yes, he had his moments like everybody else but most of the time, James tried to actually talk out the issue, knowing very well yelling won’t get him anywhere, as his dear mother taught him.

And he also knew how two of the most important people in his life reacted to being yelled at.

„Well, yeah, but I don’t think that’s really any of your business.“ James admitted in the end, slowly realising that their argument led to this - for him unknown - situation that Barty was currently yelling at him about.

„So that’s why I haven’t seen you sneaking into our dorm. What happened, why did you two argue?“ He asked, now more calmly. Although he was still pissed at the Gryffindor in front of him, he also realised he won’t be getting anywhere if he just screamed at him.

James raised his eyebrows at the sudden change in Barty’s voice. „You think I’m going to tell you? This is between me and Regulus only and he knows very well why I’m mad at him.“

„That’s great, but I don’t give a shit about that now. You need to talk to him or this won’t end well.“ Barty said in a warning voice, glaring at James.

„No.“ James answered simply and was about to turn around to continue eating his dinner, but as soon as he attempted to turn around, a strong arm snatched his shoulder, refusing to let him move by even an inch.

„What did you say?“ Barty gritted through his teeth, holding onto the last bits of self-control he had left so he didn’t punch the idiot in front of him right this minute.

„No. I won’t be the one crawling back. He knows why I’m mad and I have every right to be.“ James said with a deadpan expression, too oblivious to realise the severity of the said situation.

Barty chuckled ironically, letting go of James’ shoulder. „Alright, enlighten me. Why are you mad at him?“

„That’s none of your business, Crouch. If Regulus wants to talk to me and finally explain what has been going on, he can send me an owl and I will gladly meet up with him.“ James finally turned around, happy to be done with this conversation.

He thought Barty left when he didn’t hear a reply for another few seconds, but the Slytherin’s booming voice that he soon heard right behind him, proved him wrong.

James jumped in his seat yet, truly not expecting Barty’s outburst and he quickly turned around again, looking at Barty with slightly widened eyes.

„Can you stop being an obnoxious selfish arsehole for five seconds?! I don’t give a fuck if you have a right to be mad at him, because it’s not fucking important now!“ Barty finished yelling, staring daggers at the boy in front of him.

James sighed, nervously running a hand through his hair. „Look, I understand you are his friend and all but-“

„But nothing. Did you forget how he gets when somebody is mad at him?“ Barty said, as a matter of fact, not expecting James to look at him with so much confusion written all over his face.

„What?“ James asked, genuinely confused.

„Don’t play dumb.“ Barty rolled his eyes, also getting tired of this conversation.

James stood up and walked closer to Barty. The slight uneasiness he had been feeling since the beginning was now increasing and James was starting to feel ill. „No, I seriously don’t know. We never had a fight before so…“

You are an idiot, Regulus Black.

Barty cursed his friend under his breath. Of course, that idiot wouldn’t tell him. He never tells anybody about his problems. Barty, Evan, Pandora and Sirius were already used to it, but James didn’t know Regulus for that long, so it was no surprise he didn’t know everything, yet.

„Did he already tell you about his family?“ Barty sighed, sitting down and waiting for James to do the same.

„Yeah, but probably not everything. I also knew most things from Sirius already.“ James nodded his head, turning more to the side so he could look Barty in the eyes.

„Yeah, well he is not your lovely friend who escaped that hell house and is currently living his best life while his brother is stuck there, alone and suffering.“ Barty sneered, the hatred he felt towards the older Black brother burning inside him. He knew the situation and he could admit it wasn’t exactly Sirius’ fault that Regulus couldn’t escape too, but he was still mad, and nobody could really blame him for it.

Yes, it wasn’t exactly any of his business, but Regulus was his friend and even if they didn’t act like it most of the time, he cared about him and he knew Regulus cared about him and all his loved ones, too.

So yes, one could say it wasn’t any of Barty’s, but he would disagree. Surely no one could blame him for being concerned for his friend.

„They would’ve killed him if he stayed. Sirius didn’t leave Regulus there, it was his choice to stay.“ James defended. He knew Regulus was suffering there too, but Sirius was his best mate since they were first years. He was there when Sirius would come back to Hogwarts, beaten up, bruises and cuts covering his whole body.

Even so, he was always more worried about the mental impact all of this had on Sirius. He was strong, but even the strongest person can endure only so much before they break. And he has seen Sirius break one too many times.

He knew Regulus must have had a reason to not leave, but whenever James brought it up, Regulus shut him down. He understood it was a hard topic for the brothers, but he wished Regulus would tell him things from his point of view. Sirius liked to exaggerate and even though James would never call the older brother a liar, he knew Sirius used to like talking shit about Regulus without really understanding the situation. He was hurt and the only way to cope was through hatred towards his brother.

James knew how much it hurt Regulus even if he wouldn’t exactly say it, but he could see the pain in the younger’s eyes when Sirius wouldn’t even spare him a look, let alone talk to him.

And it hurt James too. He wanted nothing more than for them to have a good relationship again. Not because he was tired of being in the middle of their arguments, but because he knew how close the brothers used to be when they were younger and how deeply they cared about each other, considering they only had one another, and when all of that suddenly disappeared, James could actually feel his heart breaking, too.

„His choice?! Do you think he had a choice?“ Barty’s sudden yelling snapped James out of his thoughts and once his brain absorbed the taller boy’s words, James could only stare at him, feeling more confused than before.

What the hell was Barty talking about?

„He didn’t and do you know why? Because they got caught and only one of them would have time to escape before their mother caught them so Reggie pushed Sirius into the floo before she could drag both of them away.“ Barty finished explaining, noticing how James’ expression changed from confused to surprised, settling with a sad one in the end.

Barty chuckled ironically, shaking his head in disbelief. „Bet Black didn’t tell you that, did he?“

„No…“ James admitted quietly, chewing on his bottom lip as he tried to absorb all the new information.

„You know, you should tell him to grow the fuck up. It’s pathetic to see him always portraying Reg as the evil brother who is happy to follow his parents’ orders and go in their footsteps when he clearly doesn’t know shit. I know they are on good…well, better terms, but Sirius still tends to blame him for it.“ Barty said, currently fighting his daily urge to punch Sirius in his face.

„I talked to him about it, but he is stubborn, and I honestly think he doesn’t know about it either. He told me they got into the floo, and when he got out, he didn’t see Regulus anywhere so he waited for a while, but Regulus never came after him.“ James sighed, feeling confused.

Sirius wouldn’t lie to him about this, would he?

„Admit it, he just likes to act like an arsehole to everyone except his friends. But so do you and the rest of your lovely group, so I guess I can’t be really surprised.“ Barty smiled at him ironically before getting up.

„What do you want from me?“ James asked, getting annoyed because nothing was making sense to him anymore.

Barty leaned closer to James, his eyes not leaving him for even a second. „I want you to answer me honestly, Potter. Do you love Regulus?“

James blinked a few times before he realised what Barty just asked him. He immediately stood up again, answering Barty with so much sincerity in his voice. „What? Of course, I do. Do you think that just because we had one argument, I will stop loving him? Do you know how long I have waited for him to get comfortable around me?“

„You can’t possibly blame him for that.“ Barty argued, the thought that James might not be such an arsehole after all, quickly disappearing when he heard the last sentence.

And James truly wanted to smash his head against the table behind him as he realised how wrong his words sounded. „No, No! That’s not what I meant. I just wanted to say that I’ve waited a long time for Reggie to get comfortable around me, to even let me hold his hand or sit right next to him, and I know how hard it was for him so I’m not taking it for granted and I never will.“

„You know, you might not be as bad as I thought.“ Barty grinned at him.

„Thanks. But now tell me what did you mean by that?“ James could feel a weight being lifted up from his chest but for some reason, he couldn’t help himself, but still be really worried about Regulus, and he knew what Barty was about to say will definitely not make that feeling disappear.

„By what?“ Barty asked even though he knew what James meant. He just didn’t know if Reg won’t kill him for telling James. But after all, Regulus wasn’t aware even of the fact that Barty knew. He never told him directly, but Barty and Evan weren’t blind. When you share a dorm and spend most of your days with somebody, you will notice things about them. Both good and bad things.

„How Reggie gets when somebody is mad at him. What do you mean by that?“ James asked again, getting slightly impatient, because argument be damned, all he wanted right now was to go and talk to him, to hug him and kiss him. No explanation needed. He just wanted to be near his boyfriend even if he refused to explain anything now.

Barty sighed, motioning for James to sit back down. „If you disobey Walburga or Orion Black you won’t escape without a punishment, I’m sure you know that.“

„Yeah, Sirius and Reggie both told me about their parents’ punishments.“ James said as soon as he sat down, staring at his slightly shaking hands as he prepared himself to listen to everything Barty was about to say. He soon learned that when it came to the Black brothers and their parents, he should always expect the worst, but nothing could really prepare him for this.

„Then you surely understand that living in a house like that is not exactly good for your mental health as well. I don’t know about Sirius when it comes to this, but Reggie has also been through a lot of traumatic shit and it’s not exactly easy to break some habits that you’ve been taught for the majority of your life.“

James nodded understandingly because he did. He truly did understand how hard it is to break some bad habits. He might have amazing parents who love him dearly, but even that can’t always help. Anybody can have mental health issues and it doesn’t matter if they are coming from a good family or not.

However, even if all of them have their own struggles, they understand very well, that Sirius and Regulus truly went through hell and only one of them came back. At least for now.

„I know he gets nightmares but-“

„I’m not talking about nightmares, Potter. I’m talking about the fact that Reggie doesn’t allow himself to eat.“ Barty said, his face showing no emotions as he stared at James.

James’ eyes widened, mouth opening slightly as he slowly realised the severity of Barty’s words. „W-What? What do you mean he doesn’t allow himself to eat?“

„I mean exactly what I said. One of his mother’s punishments was that when he dared to disobey her, he would be without food until she changed her mind. It could be a day or two but most of the time it went on for a week.“ Barty continued explaining, trying his very best to not show any emotions.

„I had no idea he was doing this or that she did this to him. How often does it happen? Does he do it every time?“ James asked, feeling close to tears.

„I mean he is not one to go looking for a conflict, but with his brother sometimes still acting like an arsehole, it’s kind of difficult.“ Barty pointed out, watching James, who could only nod, not being able to give a proper answer.

He was breathing heavily, and Barty was starting to regret telling him anything. He knew it was good that somebody this close to Reg knew, but right now it looked like James was going to pass out. Which wouldn’t be very helpful.

„How long?“ James asked after a couple of seconds, still trying to steady his breathing.

„I don’t know. I just noticed him doing it a few months ago, but I know this month was bad because-“

„Because of the letter.“ James agreed, noticing Barty’s surprised expression.

„I was there when Sirius got it.“ James explained. “I’m not sure what the letter said, but I know that Sirius and Regulus had a bad argument because of it. God, you should have seen Reggie’s face. It was actually making me cry, you know? I mean they were finally talking to each other and then suddenly Sirius gets this mystery letter. It seems like somebody knew they were getting closer again and wanted to ruin it.“ James said, getting deep into his thoughts.

He remembered that day very vividly. I mean, how could he not, he has never seen Sirius so mad. After they were done it took him almost three hours to calm Regulus down while Remus dealt with the other brother.

„Yes. I still don’t understand why would Black think Regulus wrote it? Does he not know how much Regulus actually cares about him?“ Barty shook his head in disbelief. He didn’t know what was in the letter either, but after a little chat with a certain Gryffindor, he had a pretty good idea.

„I’m not sure. I tried to tell him many times, even Remus did, but like I said, he is stubborn and anything about his family triggers something in him and he refuses to listen.“ James frowned upon remembering how Sirius threatened to kick him out of the dorms if he asked a single question about his family.

And as much as James understood why Sirius didn’t want to talk about it, it was still hard. James truly wanted to help and hoped the brothers could talk to each other like civil human beings but every time they tried to; it ended up being a total disaster.

Barty rolled his eyes. „Like a fucking five-year-old. Somebody needs to slap some sense into him because this is getting ridiculous. Evan tried to talk to him about it a week ago, yeah? And that bloody idiot drew his wand and threatened to hex him.“

„I’ll talk to him, I promise, but I need to find Reggie now. Where is he?“ James asked, quickly getting up from the bench, already walking towards the door before Barty even had a chance to reply.

„Our dorms, where else? I’m pretty sure I don’t need to tell you how to get there.“ Barty smirked, watching as James’ cheeks turned pink.

„Right.“ James nodded to himself, speeding up a little bit and before he knew it, he was literally running out of the Great Hall.

„If you don’t fix whatever happened between the two of you by midnight, I’ll kick your stupid arse, Potter.“ Barty yelled after him, also getting up to go back to his dorm.

James stopped for a moment. „Right, thanks, Crouch.“ He then opened the big door and ran out of the Great Hall, trying to get to Regulus as quickly as possible.

„Always a pleasure.“ Barty grinned as he walked towards the door, ignoring the couple of stares the duo got.

It wasn’t a regular occurrence to see Barty Crouch Jr. and James Fleamont Potter talking without wanting to kill each other, so no one could really blame the students for staring.

As soon as Barty walked out of the Great Hall, he could feel someone grab his hand.

„You know, I knew you were worried, but I didn’t expect you to go to Potter and knock some sense into him.“ A voice that Barty could recognise anywhere and at any time, sounded through the empty corridors.

„Stupid Gryffindors obviously need it.“ Barty grinned at his boyfriend before he wrapped his arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders.

„You act like you are Reggie’s mum.“ The boy said, rolling his eyes as they started walking towards their common room. They soon realised going to their dorm was out of the question for a couple more hours so the common room would have to do.

„That’s probably the worst insult someone ever told me.“ Barty touched his chest in an offended manner, fighting the urge to start pouting like a five-year-old just to piss his boyfriend off.

„You know what I mean.“ The smaller boy said as he looked at Barty with an annoyed expression.

Barty let out a sigh, his tone of voice becoming more serious. „Can you blame me? He’s been through some shit and-“

„You too, Barty.“ The other Slytherin said with a deadpan expression.

„I don’t care about that. He has nobody, Evan.“ Barty argued back even though he knew his boyfriend was right.

„You have a shitty father, I’m not sure if that’s exactly a win.“ Evan chuckled but stopped as soon as he realised Barty wasn’t laughing.

„I’m joking. I know he has it tough, but he has you and me and Pandora, and to my regret even Potter. He will be alright.“ Evan smiled at his boyfriend, waiting for Barty to give him a smile in return.

„Yeah, Potter better fix this.“ Barty nodded his head, smiling at Evan before they both walked away.