Pale September
But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full
And sank in the burrows of my keep
And all my armor falling down in a pile at my feet
And my winter giving way to warm, as I'm singing him to sleep
September 1, 1993
It was a brisk day in London. Clouds made the sky grey and gave an air of gloominess to the train station. It was obvious that there would be a storm that day. The weather was cold enough so that Zinnia could don one of her many jumpers and still slightly feel the bite. The deep red cashmere piece was pulled over her hands as she pushed the cart through the station, protecting her hands from the chill. Her black skirt picked up a breeze as she quickly walked to the entrance to the platform.
This would be Zinnia’s fifth year attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The girl was excited to finally go back after an uneventful summer. As she and her mother arrived at the pillar where Platform 9 ¾ was located, she took the trolley carrying her things and headed towards it, looking back and attempting to make eye contact with her mother, who happened to be gazing at her nails with a look of boredom painted on her face.
“Mother?” Zinnia called in an attempt to get the witch’s attention.
“Hmm?” She replied dully, still not looking up.
“I’ll miss you.”
“Goodbye, Zinnia,” her mother finally said, already turning away to leave.
Exhaling a shaky breath, Zinnia ran into the pillar with her cart rolling in front of her. She could feel the pressure in her face, the tears that could spill out if only she would let them. It wasn't that the girl wasn’t used to the emotional abuse and neglect from her mother, but even after most of her life being treated that way, it had never gotten easier for her. On top of that, she was quite sensitive, which certainly didn’t make her life easier in that respect.
After pushing her last interaction down, she looked around, scanning the station for a certain girl: Angelina. She meandered through the crowds of students, some loudly reuniting with their friends, others who were fairly new to this parting from home weeping into the shoulders of their parents. The people whom Zinnia happened to be searching for belonged to the former. There in the crowd were Angelina Johnson, Lee Jordan, and Alicia Spinnet. She could hear all of their voices carrying from the other side of the station. She hurried towards them, swerving her cart through the masses of people, narrowly dodging a particularly scrawny first year who managed to evade her field of view until the last second.
Lee was the only one in the group facing Zinnia’s direction, so he managed to see her approaching first, a grin spreading across his face as he registered one of his very best friends coming towards them.
“Zinnia!” he yelled, jumping up and down and waving. Angelina and Alicia turned around at his outburst, both rushing to meet the girl. Angelina engulfed her in a bone-crushing hug. It almost felt like an apology for last year.
“I’ve missed you so much,” Angelina breathed into Zinnia’s hair, “Your mother’s a rat for intercepting all of my letters to you.”
Zinnia huffed a laugh, “Ugh, I missed you too Angie." Zinnia pulled away from the hug, Angelina placing a kiss on her forehead as they parted. The two girls made slightly intimate eye contact afterward. There were so many things she wanted to say to Angelina, but she couldn't do that in front of everyone. Next, she turned to Alicia.
“Come here, darling,” Alicia teased, pulling her in for a hug.
“Alright, ladies, can we wrap this up?” Lee interjected, arms crossed. The two girls broke apart, turning back towards the group. “We should probably claim a compartment before they’re all taken. We absolutely cannot get one near the restroom like last year,” he added, shuddering at the memory. Alicia giggled.
“We can’t yet, we’re waiting for the twins,” Angelina rebutted.
“And those two gits are exactly why we got stuck next to the toilets, my dear sweet Angelina,” he replied, putting his arm around her shoulders, which was awkward due to her being quite a bit taller than him. Angelina quickly shrugged him off, shoving him lightly. She was going to have to endure Lee's flirting for the next year, as he was quite persistent.
“Alright, let’s go find a spot,” Alicia sighed, giving up on trying to dissuade Lee. The four of them took their luggage and boarded the train, finding a spot far enough from the restrooms for Lee’s liking. Zinnia flopped down into the bench on one side, laying down with her arm over her eyes in a dramatic fashion. She moved her arm slightly so that she could peek one of her eyes out into the compartment. However, when she looked, she couldn’t seem to find Alicia there.
“Where’d Alicia go?” she questioned.
“Oh, we must have forgotten to tell you. She’s a prefect this year. Her and Kenneth,” Angelina explained.
“Kenneth,” Lee repeated, his voice laced with disgust.
“Ugh. Why do you hate him so much?” Angelina inquired, sick of his constant attacks on the seemingly harmless boy, “He’s literally never done anything to us.”
“That’s what you think,” he said, arms crossed and nose in the air, “I know that tosser stole all of my chocolate frog cards in second year!” Angelina rolled her eyes.
Suddenly the door to the compartment slid open. Zinnia jumped into a sitting position. In the doorway stood George Weasley, an exasperated look on his face.
“Sorry we’re late, you wouldn’t believe how long it takes ole Percy to polish his Head Boy badge,” he said. He then was shoved out of the way by his counterpart, Fred, who wore a bright grin on his face, seemingly unaware of the glare his twin was sending him.
“You lot can relax now. I’m here,” he announced a smug grin on his face. Everyone else rolled their eyes simultaneously. The twins took their seats on either side of Zinnia, squishing her just a bit.
“You comfortable there?” Fred mocked, looking down at her with his arm around the seat. Zinnia didn’t respond, opting just to squint her eyes at him. She knew by now how to play their games.
“Aww, don’t be like that, Zin. You know we love you,” George teased, leaning towards her to squish her further. She was unable to maintain her stony expression then, and started laughing, pushing them off of her with a grunt.
“Oh!” Angelina exclaimed suddenly, “Zinnia, we forgot to ask you. How’d you like all of your birthday gifts?” Zinnia froze, remembering her birthday.
July 18, 1993
Zinnia’s mother, Deirdre Beaumont, was a cold woman. Not that the world had been kind to her, to begin with. Her life up to that point had been plenty filled with sorrow and loss. But her daughter didn’t blame her for how she was. They were even alike in some ways. Zinnia’s father, Pierre Beaumont, passed away when she was seven. Suicide. Deirdre was never the same. She was harsh on Zinnia before, but after that, it was only amplified. She was a shell of the already cold woman she used to be.
Today was Zinnia’s birthday, and because it took place during the summer, Zinnia wasn’t allowed to leave Beaumont Manor. She and her mother had gotten into a massive fight last summer over one of her friend’s letters that her mother happened to read. Katie Bell had sent her a letter, detailing how she was upset that she was unable to do anything for her birthday due to Deirdre's rigid rules for Zinnia’s social life, leaving out none of her thoughts on the girl’s mother. While none of what the letter said was untruthful, it had fallen into the wrong hands, and on the first day of their fourth year, Zinnia made sure to tell her to work on her boundaries. They hadn’t spoken much since.
But before that, she and her mother’s relationship was under no definition healthy. On top of the emotional neglect and abuse, Zinnia wasn’t allowed to befriend anyone not of pureblood status- a rule she had broken many times. Despite being pureblood, she felt no superiority over her peers. While she did live in a manor that was probably several times the size of her friends’ houses due to generational wealth, there was no warmth or love there. When Zinnia befriended Fred and George Weasley in her first year, Deirdre wasn’t so pleased that the only purebloods her daughter had liked were, in her words, “blood traitors”.
Now, laying in her bed, staring up at her bed canopy, Zinnia waited for the day she could leave that place forever. It was dusk, and starting to storm outside, which didn’t help to brighten her mood whatsoever. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and into her ears, but she wasn’t really crying. Obviously, her eyes were leaking, but she wasn’t making a sound, she was entirely calm. There was no emotion on her face, so did it actually count as crying? Zinnia would tell you it didn’t. As the storm got stronger so did the flow of her tears.
A tap at her bay window caused her to open her eyes, but she quickly passed it off as a tree hitting the glass. A few seconds later, it happened again, this time three in quick succession. She raised her head this time, finding a certain boy with bright red hair right outside of her window. After quickly turning around to wipe her tears, she made her way to the window, opening it with a look of confusion on her face. Fred hovered on his broom with a proud grin on his face, completely soaked by the rain.
“Godric, Zinnia, try not to look so happy to see me,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. She scoffed. Fred could see that she had been crying, it was obvious with how red and puffy her face was. But he decided not to say anything, sensing that she wouldn’t be in the mood for that. Besides, he didn't know how to talk about emotions. He couldn't comfort people, no matter much he wanted to.
“No- sorry, this was just unexpected. You actually can’t imagine how happy I am to see you,” she replied, a small smile on her face.
“Guess what I have…” Fred sing-songed, a bag slung across his back.
“Come inside before you get struck by lightning, Santa Claus.” She completely disregarded his words and whatever he was carrying. “Now that I think about it, how have you not been struck by lightning yet? You realise how idiotic it was to come here in this weather?”
“Dad apparated me a few kilometres from here from Egypt just to give you this. Are you not curious as to what it might be?” he questioned, stumbling into her room. His shoes squeaked on the polished wood floors, making her cringe. She wasn't scared about her mother hearing them, though. She was in the other wing.
“I am, but I also care about your safety, despite how little regard you have for it.”
“Aww, you care about me,” he teased. She didn’t have time to respond before he was shoving a gift into her arms. “For the birthday girl!”
Zinnia opened the first present. In it was a variety of candies such as fizzing whizzbees, exploding bonbons, and some chocolate frogs.
“Courtesy of Lee Jordan,” said Fred. Zinnia smiled up at him and took the next present from his hands. It contained three Muggle records. Rid of Me by PJ Harvey, Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We? by The Cranberries, and Debut by Björk. With it was a note that read:
Here are some albums from this year that I really liked. I hope you like them too. Happy birthday Zinnia! XX - Angie (P.S. Listen to track 4 on the Cranberries album.)
“This one’s from Georgie and me,” Fred said, handing her another package. In it, she found some Zonko’s products, none of which her mother would allow. She smiled to herself. There were a few more presents and cards in his bag, from people she wasn’t as close to. By the end of it, Zinnia found herself grinning ear to ear. Fred watched her reactions from above, leaning on the wall as she sat at the window seat.
“Thank you for bringing me all of this, Fred. Especially in this weather. You really didn’t have to,” she said, reading the tracklist on one of the records.
“Oh please,” he said, waving his hand, “I wanted to. It’s your birthday, you deserve presents. And were not done, because I saved the best present for last. It’s from me of course.”
“I thought you and George already got me something?” she questioned, her eyebrows furrowed.
“That one was also from me. But George had nothing to do with this one. This one is all me. It’s special ,” He emphasised the last word, making her arch a brow at him. She tentatively took the gift from his hand, slowly untying the ribbon to build suspense. Fred scoffed. “Go on, open the bloody gift already!”
Zinnia opened the gift, finding a tiny ball of black fur inside.
“A kitten!” she exclaimed, lifting the little animal into the air. She brought it back down to cradle it against her chest, giving its head little affectionate pecks. She set the kitten back inside the box for a moment to tackle the boy in a crushing hug.
“Thank you, Freddie.” Her voice was thick with emotion as she spoke into his chest. He rubbed soothing circles onto her back as he smoothed down her hair. He felt awkward, not really used to physical affection. Fred was secretly proud of himself for being the one to cheer her up, though.
“Don’t mention it,” he said, freeing one hand from her hair to wave his hand dismissively. “And I believe it’s a boy. What’ll you name the beast?”
“Hmm,” she thought, “How do you feel about the name Pip?”
“I love it,” Fred replied. Zinnia went to pick up the cat from its box, bouncing the thing in her arms as if it were an infant. He watched the scene with adoration, but he knew he had to ruin it at some point. He just had to ask her something. He couldn’t live with leaving her there, having to wait to see her again when the semester started.
“Zinnia,” Fred started. She looked up, still cradling the cat.
“Hmm?”
“You should come to the Burrow. I know it’s out of the blue, but I really think you should. I’m sure Mum wouldn’t mind you there. And I know you get along with Ron and Ginny fine,” he said.
“What? No- Fred, I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t do that to her. And do you mean now ? Look outside, it’s pissing rain out there. I haven’t packed, I have a cat now that I would have to take, you came here on a broom meant for one person,” she rambled, a frown etched into her face.
“Just listen,” he pleaded. “You have a fireplace, we can just use the floo.”
“Mum disabled my fireplace last summer.”
“I can take you on my broom. I’ll come back for your things. Come on, please. You’re obviously not happy here,” he bargained.
“What makes you think I don’t know that,” she spat, “I’m sorry, Fred,” she said in a softer tone, “I can’t. She’d know if I left, she charmed the whole house so she can track what I do. I can’t just go. I don’t want to leave her here alone and just disappear. I know you all hate her– sometimes I do too. But she’s still my mother. I'm all she really has.”
Fred’s face somehow dropped even more. He was frowning deeply now, any hope in his face gone. “Zinnia-” he said. She hugged him.
“I’ll see you in September, Fred,” she smiled softly, “Thank you for coming here, it means a lot, really.”
“My pleasure,” he said. “You know I’d do worse to come see you.” A smirk now adorned his face. Zinnia let out a soft chuckle. He turned to the window to leave. And then he spoke before he flew away.
“Bye, Zinnia.”
“Goodbye.”
September 1, 1993
“Zinnia? Are you okay?” Angelina spoke, snapping the girl out of her trance.
“Hmm? Oh, yeah, brilliant,” she replied.
“Okay…” Angelina started, “Your gifts…”
“Right! My gifts. I loved them, really. So much. Lee, I finished those exploding bonbons in a day. And Angie, I absolutely adored those albums you sent. It’s hard to choose, but I think The Cranberries were my favourite. She sent her a meaningful glance.
“Glad you liked them,” Angelina smirked, picking up on her hint, “And I packed a few more for us to listen to.” Zinnia quickly averted her eyes from the girl and shifted her gaze to the boy on her left.
“And George, I haven’t been able to use any of your gifts yet. You can assume why.”
“I get it,” he waved a hand dismissively, “No worries, now we can use them this year for our pranks.”
“Where’s my gift?” Fred asked.
“He’s under my seat,” Zinnia explained, “I’ll get him out.” And with that, she reached under her seat and slid out a crate, in it: a small, sleeping black cat.
“When did you get a cat?” Lee asked, face lit up with equal parts shock and horror.
“My birthday,” Zinnia replied. "Freddie got him for me.” Pip mewled, beginning to wake.
“Oh, how cute!” Angelina cooed. At the kitten or the gesture? Zinnia didn’t know.
“You didn’t tell me about this,” George intervened, a scowl on his face.
“Well it wasn’t your idea,” Fred retorted, petting the kitten curled up in Zinnia’s lap. “Besides, he can’t have two dads. I’m his dad. You can be the uncle.” George scoffed.
“Fine,” he huffed. “Does that little bugger have a name?”
“Pip,” Zinnia chimed in, gazing down lovingly at her kitten.
“You guys look like such proud parents,” Angelina teased, giggling to herself. Zinnia was looking everywhere but Fred (whose ears were red and who was grinning wildly), the comment causing her face to turn pink. The group spent the next half hour catching up, Lee recounting how he managed to go out with three muggle girls at the same time that summer. Something told Zinnia that Lee was going to be telling that story to everyone he came into contact with for the foreseeable future.
“Alright, I hate to interrupt your lying , Jordan,” Angelina sent a penetrating look at Lee, “but Zinnia and I are going to get changed into our robes now.” And with that, the girls got up and headed to the restrooms to change, but not before George yelled after them.
“Try not to get trampled by Lee’s army of girlfriends!” The two girls snickered as they walked out into the aisle.
“It’s rather dark for midday, don’t you think?” Angelina inquired.
“Well it’s going to storm isn’t it?” Zinnia replied. She couldn't understand why everything between them was so normal. Like nothing ever happened. She certainly wasn’t complaining.
“I suppose,” Angelina mumbled. “I dunno, I guess I just feel like it seems gloomier than usual. I’m used to the rain by now, but it feels depressing almost.”
“Hmm,” she replied. A few moments later she said, “Alright, here we are.”
“Let’s be quick, I want to get back to our seats as soon as possible.” Zinnia felt unnerved by Angelina’s uncharacteristic anxiousness. Something wasn’t normal. After the two girls changed, they quickly went back to their seats hand in hand. Zinnia didn't know what was going on. They were holding hands , for Godric's sake! On their way, the thunder outside made Angelina jump on multiple occasions. She squeezed the girl’s hand to ground her.
When they made it back to their train compartment, Lee had his face plastered to the window looking out into the storm. He didn’t look up when they came in.
“Lee thinks he’s seen something,” Fred stated, a sceptical tone in his voice. Angelina gave a nervous look at Zinnia from across the passenger coach. What is going on with her? Zinnia thought.
“It’s probably nothing,” Zinnia said, to everyone- but mostly for Angelina’s sake. All of a sudden the train started to come to a stop. Now she knew what Angelina was feeling. She could feel it too. Lee was now alert, finally peeling his face from the window.
“What do you think we're stopped?” George asked the group.
“I’ll go out and check to see if anything’s wrong,” Fred announced, pushing himself up and heading towards the door. He peeked his head out of the compartment, looking both ways. “Looks like everyone’s trying to see what’s going on.” Then he was thrown back in as the train gave a harsh jerk. The door closed, various strange noises emanated from outside the door.
“Any ideas on what’s happening?” Zinnia asked.
“I swear there’s something out there. I think something’s coming aboard,” Lee said, his face pressed against the glass once again. He gasped and pulled away as the glass frosted over where he was touching.
“Why is it so cold all of a sudden? And why do I feel like I want to cry?” Angelina questioned, hugging herself protectively.
“It is quite cold, now that you mention it,” Zinnia agreed, shivering. Simultaneously, Fred and George moved to sit closer, sharing their warmth. Both of them looked upset. Everyone looked upset. There was more loud banging before everything got quiet.
A cloaked figure began to pass, floating by soundlessly.
“Bloody hell,” George and Fred muttered simultaneously.
“A dementor…” Zinnia whispered. Her worst memory was playing in her head, but she was not about to let that show on her face.
“How d’you know?” Lee asked quietly.
“Mum used t’ threaten me with them…” she replied.
“M’sorry,” Lee said. It was quiet for a moment until it was gone. After a while the gloom lifted and the train started to move again.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
Later, when the train arrived at Hogsmeade Station, and Zinnia and her friends made their way to the castle and into the Great Hall, they sat through the Sorting Ceremony, only clapping when a student was sorted into Gryffindor.
“Who’s the new professor?” Zinnia asked the table, leaning her face into her palm with a dreamy gaze directed at the man in question.
“That’s Professor R.J. Lupin,” Hermione stated matter-of-factly.
“He’s quite fit,” Zinnia muttered. Angelina scoffed and looked at her incredulously. Zinnia sat up straight, her brows furrowed.
“What?” she defended, “He can’t be over thirty-five. I wonder what he teaches…”
Now all the Gryffindors in a two-metre radius were listening in on the conversation.
“You can’t be serious,” Ron said, a reproachful look on his face. “He’s got a bunch of scars all over his face. He looks dishevelled.”
“So what ? I like the dishevelled look, it’s working for him,” she retorted.
“You said you like the way which lad looks?” George asked, an eyebrow raised.
“She fancies the new professor,” Harry said, a look on his face that told he thought this was humorous.
“He’s probably the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, now that Lockhart is…” Hermione chimed in.
“ Really ?” Fred asked from beside Zinnia, “I wouldn’t expect that. He doesn’t seem like your type.”
“And what exactly do you think her type is, Frederick?” Angelina inquired, a smug look on her face. His face flushed, mouth closing immediately. This was so unlike him.
“I dunno? Maybe someone closer to her age?” He smoothly replied. George muttered a “Quick save, there”. Angelina rolled her eyes. Zinnia just laughed. Unbeknownst to the girls, Lee leaned to whisper in his ear.
“Don’t worry, Freddie-boy. You still have a chance,” he teased. That earned him a harsh elbow to the ribs. Fred sulked quietly for the rest of the feast.
All Zinnia could think about was Angelina, who was sitting right across from her. She was amazed that things between them were normal after what went down at the end of last year. But she was also confused.
When the feast ended, Percy led all of the Gryffindors to the common room to settle in for the night. Angelina practically had to drag Zinnia out of their dorm to go socialise in the common room that night.
“I’m tired Angie, I don’t want to go,” she whined, laying on her bed with her head hanging over the edge of it, her strawberry blonde hair almost touching the floor. Her face was quite red from the position, all of the blood rushing to her face. Angelina just laughed at her.
“Ugh, you’re always so out of it when you haven’t slept,” she giggled. And it was true, Zinnia hadn’t slept the night before. She had always been able to run on little to no sleep- up until a certain point. That point was starting to catch up to her. “I know you need to sleep, and you will. I just want us to go down there for a little while. Pretty please?”
Zinnia groaned, sitting up on her bed. “I don’t understand why I have to go with you, why it has to be us . There isn’t an us . You can go down there by yourself. You don’t need me there with you. I’m going to bed.” She shut the curtains to her four-poster. The words were uncharacteristically harsh, but in her mind, this was just giving her a taste of her own medicine. It was revenge for last year. She was finally sticking up for herself, instead of indulging Angelina on every whim. She didn’t see the way Angelina’s brows were knit, lips trembling,
“Wow, Zinnia,” Angelina said bitterly, “I didn’t know you felt that way. I’ll leave you alone.” And with that, she left the room, shutting the door a little too strongly, knocking one of Alicia’s framed pictures off of the wall. Zinnia was relieved to finally stop being pestered to fake extroversion for an evening, being able to sleep at last. But that sleep never came.
She stared unseeingly up at the four-poster bed, replaying the interaction in her head. She couldn’t shake the guilt of upsetting Angelina, even if she had been disappointed by her before. She debated going down to the common room to talk to her. It couldn’t have been ten minutes after the argument that Zinnia came bounding down the stairs.
“Zinnia,” someone whispered into her ear from behind her, putting their hands on her shoulders. The girl jumped, squeaking as she tried to squirm out of their hold. The hands spun her around, her eyes were squeezed shut.
“You scare so easily,” a familiar voice said from in front of her. She opened her eyes.
“Fred!” she scolded, brows furrowed, “You’re awful.” But there was no real heat behind that, and they both knew it.
“I’ve been looking for you,” he said. She thought he looked really good in the dim lighting, cheeks slightly flushed because of some firewhiskey he had mysteriously obtained. His eyes were slightly glazed over as he gazed down at the girl before him.
“What for?” she asked, “Is something wrong?”
“Woah, slow down. I just wanted to talk to you, not about anything specific. Also, you seemed a little off when I saw you come down the staircase.”
“What d’you mean, ‘off’?” she asked.
“You looked sad,” he stated plainly, “You still look a bit sad.” He didn’t wait for her response. “Let’s go get that spot on the sofa while it’s open,” he suggested. The two walked through the groups of chatting students to the sofa in front of the fireplace.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked. Zinnia wasn’t going to tell him the full backstory, so she settled for the simplified version.
“No,” she started, voice soft. “Angie’s mad at me.”
“The two of you are fighting? Why?” His brows were pinched together.
“I told her I didn’t want to come down here and socialize with everyone. I told her I was too tired. I said it sort of harshly. I didn’t mean to though. I came out here to find her,” she explained. Fred hummed.
“Well, I think you were perfectly reasonable. I don’t know why she was so adamant that you come with her.”
“Probably because I’m such amazing company,” she replied, a lopsided smile on her face. Fred’s heart skipped a beat. He laughed.
“I get where you were coming from though. I love George, and we always do everything together- and don’t get me wrong, that isn’t a bad thing at all. It’s just- sometimes I would like to be an individual. My own person. I feel like people see us as Fred and George, the duo. Like we’re conjoined or somethin’. I dunno. I just need space sometimes. So does he,” Fred vented.
“If it helps, I don’t see you and George as the same, or like conjoined heads.”
“Well, I certainly hope not,” Fred quipped.
“No!” Zinnia laughed, “You know what I mean. I just think you two are loads different.”
“Yeah?” he questioned, “How so?”
“For starters, you’re wilder than him. He’s certainly not tame, but he’s more tame than you . And your faces are completely different.” Fred raised an eyebrow.
“I wouldn’t say completely different. Of course, I’m far more handsome,” he joked, “But we are identical twins.”
“His nose is bigger than yours, your voices are different, and the way you carry yourselves slightly differs. That’s just naming a few physical differences.” Fred was grinning like a madman. He felt so recognized. Not even his own mother could tell them apart half of the time, and here Zinnia was listing off every individual quirk they each had. His heart gave a squeeze in his chest.
“Sounds like you’re an expert on the subject,” he said. Zinnia raised an eyebrow, tilting her head to the side.
“I mean I’ve known you since first year, so I’d say I am indeed a Weasley twin expert. I deserve the title.” she quipped back, smiling hard.
“I suppose you do, out of anyone,” he replied. Nothing was said after that for several minutes. However, it wasn’t awkward. It never really was with them. But Zinnia decided to end the gap in the conversation.
“It’s so loud down here. I actually feel like my head’s going to explode,” she complained. Her eyes were screwed shut as she repeatedly slammed her head into the back of the sofa.
“Stop that,” Fred chastised on her third headbang. “You’re not making things better for yourself.” She glared at him.
“I wish Angelina would’ve let me stay in. No offence, Fred.”
“None taken.”
“And now we’re arguing and I have a splitting headache and it’s too loud down here and I need to go somewhere quiet or I’ll die. I don’t even care about talking to her anymore.” She was exaggerating on the dying part and she was well aware, but she was quite serious about everything else. She normally would never say anything this bold. She didn’t say what she really felt most of the time, always seeking to please whoever she was talking to. But she was loopy from sleep deprivation, and all her thoughts came out unfiltered because she didn’t have the brain capacity left to care.
“Come up to our dorm. You can lie down there. It’ll be quieter. You probably won’t die there. No promises, though.” He got up from the sofa, leading her to the spiral staircase by the crook of her elbow.
“I don’t think I can face Angelina.” Zinnia was continuing her tangent. “I know I upset her, and I feel bad about it. But she’s upset me too. I just dunno what to do.”
“Merlin, Zinnia. You don’t have to make everyone happy all of the time. You’re allowed to have feelings.”
“I guess so…” She gave a noncommittal shrug. He sighed. They had made it into the dorm and she was flopping down onto the first bed she saw.
“That’s Lee’s, you know? He’s gonna kick you out of there when he comes up.”
“I’d like to see him try.” Fred scoffed as he went into the bathroom with a pair of pyjamas. Zinnia closed her eyes, curling up on her side on Lee’s bed in an attempt to sleep. He came back out, laying down on his own bed which happened to be the one next to Lee’s.
Zinnia opened her eyes, hearing him shuffle on his bed. They were laying on their sides, looking at each other from different beds.
“Were you serious about the new professor?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you actually fancy him?”
“Fancy him?” she scoffed, “I wouldn’t say that . I mean he is quite nice to look at, but I wasn’t that serious about what I said. You were right. I would definitely prefer someone closer in age to me. Did you really think I would attempt to pursue a bloody professor ?”
“I dunno, you’re always surprising me.” She laughed at that.
“Why do you care, anyways?” she teased. “I mean, it’s unlike you to care about things like that.”
“Because,” he started- he was prepared for this question, “if you’re too busy drooling over him the whole class, whose notes am I supposed to copy?” She chuckled at that. Then Lee and George both barged into the dorm, disturbing the quiet atmosphere.
“Oi! Beaumont! Outta my bed!” Lee demanded, clearly not too serious. The boys were both rummaging around the room, getting ready for bed.
“Alright,” Zinnia complied, getting out of the boy’s bed and heading toward the door. “Goodnight, everyone!”
“Goodnight!” they chorused back as she exited the room. As she walked down the boys’ staircase, she spotted Angelina from across the room, but Angelina didn't see her. She was too tired to try and talk to her, she just didn’t have it in her to care at that moment. After she made it up the girls’ staircase and into her dorm, she put on her nightclothes and slipped straight into a dreamless sleep.
He goes along just as a water lily
Gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats
Unweighted down by passion or intensity
Yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts
And he finds a home in me
For what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap