Humbug
The joy didn't last very long. Soon, the Christmas holidays began, severing Grey from his two best friends for a dreaded fortnight. So few students actually remained at Hogwarts that holiday. The looming threat of Grindelwald had parents desperately recalling their children home more than ever. Grey was the only Ravenclaw staying over Christmas and aside from him, the only other remaining were a pair of Hufflepuffs and one sullen Slytherin seventh year.
Meal time had become a very awkward affair. The four house tables had been removed in favour of one single table that both staff and students occupied. Conversation was always somewhat strained and Grey in particular hated the whole thing. He dreaded breakfast, lunch, and dinner more than he dreaded the return of Malfoy.
To make matters worse, the 23rd of December was his birthday. Though it wasn't his real one, it was the day randomly assigned to him by the matron so thus throughout his childhood, it had been treated as such. Naturally, Grey hated the day. To him, it was a reminder of his abandonment as an infant and he never received any presents. The orphanage may have acknowledged the day when he was younger but they never had the funding to give out gifts.
On the morning of his 16th, Grey sulked down to breakfast, dressed in an old jumper Richard had given him. Most of his clothes were either stolen or Richards hand me downs. He was the last to arrive and very reluctantly took the free seat next to Dumbledore.
He returned forced good mornings with his professors then stared grimly into his bowl of cereal, wishing he could drown in the milk. His misery was shortly interrupted by the arrival of the post. Grey recognized Richard's barn owl, Luna, as she dropped a small parcel into his lap followed by a single envelope from an unknown tawny owl. Presuming the latter was the usual card from the matron, he opened the package from Richard first.
Inside he found a beautiful copy of Frankenstein, a muggle novel he'd been hoping to read, and a small note reading 'Happy Birthday' in Richard's neat handwriting. He hid the note inside the cover of the book before placing it beside him on the table.
Professor Merrythought, who sat across from him, glanced at the book.
"What have you got there Mr Willow?" The Defense against the dark arts professor asked curiously.
"It's a muggle novel, Frankenstein by Mary Shelly." He answered politely.
She grimaced. "I've not heard of it, though I've never cared for muggle literature."
Grey glanced into his bowl.
"A shame, I love muggle books. Frankenstein is particularly good." Dumbledore piped up over his tea. "Happy Birthday by the way Grey." He said smiling warmly.
Grey turned scarlet as everyone at the table, including the headmaster, wished him a happy birthday. Muttering a hasty word of thanks, Grey tried to distract himself by opening the second envelope, internally cursing Dumbledore.
It was not as he thought, a simple well-wishes for the day. Instead, a confused Grey found a very official-looking letter from the head matron. It read:
'Dear Miss Willow,
I am writing to inform you that since you are now sixteen, we can no longer offer you care and residence at Willow's Orphanage for Wizarding Youth. It is down to you to find your new place of residence. Until such an address is found, your belongings are due to be sent to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on the 1st of January. Thank you for understanding.
Well, wishes,
Matron Abigail Nott'
Grey stared at the letter, shock, and horror gripping his system. His free hand clenched, nails embedded in his palm. He barely knew how to process what he was reading. Where would he go during the summer? He had no money, no relations. All his school supplies were bought out of a small charity fund provided by the school. How was he supposed to live by himself? He had nothing.
His leg began to shake beneath the table and his breakfast lay abandoned. All the colour had drained from his face. Professor Merrythought must have noticed the rapid change in demeanour because she peered closely at him.
"Are you alright, Mr Willow, you look quite ill all of a sudden."
Grey couldn't respond. A gentle hand fell on his shoulder and Grey turned wide-eyed to face the calm concern of Dumbledore.
"Everything alright grey?" He asked softly.
All Grey wanted to do was lie like he always did but some rational voice deep in his head reminded him sternly that no matter what he thought, this was not something he could solve alone. It was this that forced him to stiffly and silently hand the letter to Dumbledore.
Grey thought everything inside him would crumble as his professor read the letter. He was suffocating, drowning. The floor was going to swallow him whole. A tense minute passed as Dumbledoregavely studied the letter. Finally, with a sigh, he finished but rather than return it to Grey, he handed it over to Headmaster Dippet.
"I'm sorry Grey," He muttered.
At that moment, Grey wished the floor would swallow him.
The headmaster surveyed what he'd been given, all the while Dumbledore watched Grey. When he finished, Grey dared to try and read his face. His brows were furrowed and he wore a thoughtful expression.
"I think it's best we continue this in my office gentlemen." He said sternly.
Grey dug his fingernails deep into his palms as they left the great hall, ignoring the perplexed glances that followed them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During the silent walk to the headmaster's office, Grey thought his thumping heart may as well be the solemn beat of his funeral procession. It certainly felt like life had unexpectedly stopped. He found he could barely focus on the steps he was taking.
Few words were spoken between them as he presumed his two teachers were also desperately searching their brains for solutions. The shock was beginning to subside now and all his veins felt heavy with melancholy.
Silently, Grey followed Dippet to a gryphon statue but was not focused enough to catch the password he spoke. Staring at his feet, he also failed to register when the statue curled skywards to reveal a twisting stone staircase.
The light touch of a hand on his arm brought Grey back to the present. Blankly, he stared up at Dumbledore.
"The stairs." His professor prompted.
"Oh," Grey muttered mutedly as he proceeded toward the stairs.
Despite the fact it was his first time in Dippet's office, Grey barely acknowledged the peculiar room. Instead, his attention was drawn to the headmaster who had taken a seat behind his desk. As the door shut, Professor Dippet released a deep sigh.
"Well, Mr Willow," He began in a sombre tone, "My sincere apologies for the situation we've found ourselves in, on your birthday no less."
Grey didn't care it was his birthday. Quite frankly that was the least of his worries.
"The issue needing to be solved is where you will go during the summer. Firstly are you aware of any possible relatives who could help at all?"
Grey found it hard to form the words to answer. His jaw felt like it was fused with lead. Finally, he coaxed his mouth into moving.
"No, sir. I was found on the side of the road as a baby."
"Do you have any means of funding a place of residence?"
Grey wished he could dig his nails deeper into his palms.
"None at all sir."
Dippet sighed again, leaning his head upon his hands in an almost prayer-type motion. Watching him closely, Grey could nearly see the neurons firing in his mind. Both of them were taken by surprise when Dumbledore spoke.
"What Grey needs is a way of earning income, a job perhaps."
Dippet surveyed him thoughtfully, "What career paths were you considering for NEWTs Mr Willow?"
Grey stared at the headmaster blankly. In truth, he hadn't even considered it. There would be one restricting factor though.
"I hadn't given it much thought sir. But I don't think many places will be keen to hire someone like me if you understand my meaning." He explained.
Hogwarts had so far been the only place to accept him for the man he truly was and some days it felt more like tolerance than acceptance. Dumbledore moved into his vision, approaching Professor Dippet.
"What if Grey apprenticed a teaching position at Hogwarts? He would have the time, moving into sixth and seventh year." He said simply as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Grey certainly hadn't considered that but it was a curious suggestion. He did have a passion for learning and academics. How different would teaching be? Glancing at the headmaster, he watched him raise his silvery wisps of eyebrows at Dumbledore.
"It wouldn't be the first instance of such a thing." He mused, "Are there any subjects that particularly interest you, Mr Willow?"
Grey thought carefully. He had to consider that whichever subject he chose would be accompanied by that subject's teacher. Potions was out of the running because the thought of extra time with Prendergast made him want to vomit. After a minute of careful consideration, he answered.
"Charms is my favourite subject and I'm averaging Os in it too. "
Despite Elks' frequent disappointment in him, Grey did like him. Besides the disappointment was earned. Professor Dippet beamed at him and Grey still didn't have the heart to return the smile.
"Excellent, excellent. I shall inform Wilford. You shall start at the beginning of sixth year, provided you pass your OWLs. Now the matter of your residence -"
"Why doesn't Grey stay at Hogwarts during the summer?" Dumbledore suggested casually.
Grey gaped at him while Dippet made several noises of spluttering surprise.
"That's highly irregular Albus," He rambled, "No student ever-"
But once again Dumbledore interrupted him. "Several teachers, including myself, remain here over the summer so Grey would not be alone. I believe Wilford is also among them so Grey could begin his tutoring. This is a highly irregular circumstance after all and occasionally, these things call for irregular solutions."
Grey couldn't help but admire Dumbledore for his confidence in the matter. Professor Dippet however, looked incredibly reluctant. Though the idea was not massively appealing to him either, Grey couldn't deny the logic of it, especially as it seemed he was to pursue teaching. Half the staff lived at Hogwarts, and though he envisioned himself dodging Dumbledore every day, Hogwarts was the closest thing to a home that Grey had ever had. He liked it here.
The headmaster was still deep in thought, clearly trying to fathom any other solution. Out of the corner of his eye, Grey swore he saw Dumbledore smirk to himself. Finally, several minutes after Dumbledore's statement, Professor Dippet released a loud sigh.
"Ok, I see no alternative. Mr Willow, you will remain here over the summer." His tone was one of slight annoyance but despite that, a genuine smile broke out across Grey's face.
"Thank you, sir." He exclaimed.
Relief was overwhelming him. He was finally free of the orphanage. No more pretending to be something he wasn't, no more dresses, no more cruciatus curse when he was in trouble. Hogwarts was his home and all he could think was that he had to write and tell Richard.
But his relief was short-lived.
"As we have Grey here, there is another matter I've been meaning to discuss with you headmaster." Dumbledore continued calmly.
Grey's eyes immediately swivelled to his teacher, a deep sense of foreboding replacing the relief. He could almost sense what was coming next.
"Yes, Albus?" Dippet quiered.
Dumbledore didn't even look at Grey which was a shame for if he did he'd have seen the most chilling glare the sixteen-year-old was capable of.
"I believe Grey should no longer continue Divination." He stated simply.
"And what has drawn you to this conclusion?"
At the headmaster's question, Dumbledore belatedly glanced at Grey, sighing as he saw the boy's cold countenance.
"It has come to the attention of myself and other staff members that Grey is a seer and his abilities are beginning to manifest."
At his words, Grey groaned simultaneously to Dippet raising his wispy eyebrows.
"Oh?" He exclaimed in a disbelieving tone.
"It's not true sir!" Grey snapped hastily.
"Grey,"
He ignored Dumbledore's warning tone, daring to approach the headmaster's desk.
"Professor Dumbledore has been mistaking my migraines for supposed symptoms." He pressed with force and slight desperation that he hoped did not come across in his tone.
"The boy is lying headmaster," Dumbledore interjected.
Curiously, Grey thought he could detect some desperation in his voice too. Dippet just surveyed the two with slight amusement.
"True seers are incredibly rare Albus. Why would the boy dent such claims if it were true?"
"I've been asking myself the same question." Dumbledore sighed.
Grey stepped closer to the headmaster again, assuring his features were calmer.
"I assure you they are just migraines sir." He said, putting on a steady, polite smile.
"Armando, Grey is a seer and subsequently is in great danger-"
"Enough Albus!" Dippet exclaimed, raising a commanding hand.
Grey fought to hide a triumphant smirk.
"The boy has stated clearly otherwise so we will speak no more on the matter."
Dumbledore sighed from behind Grey. Meanwhile, Dippet fixed the Ravenclaw with a kind smile.
"You may go, Mr Willow, I hope the rest of your birthday is more pleasant."
"Thank you, sir," Grey stated politely before turning tail and hurrying out of the office.
He did not spare the transfiguration professor a second glance as he passed.
Hastening away from the headmaster's office, Grey could hear rapid footsteps following him. It wasn't difficult to guess who they belonged to. Turning a corner, he was overtaken by a frowning Dumbledore.
"What can I help you with Professor?" He inquired in a sickly sweet voice.
"Don't use that tone with me, Grey." Dumbledore sighed tiredly.
"What would you prefer sir?"
Grey's polite facade was beginning to tear at the seams as his frustration towards Dumbledore bubbled in his veins. Why couldn't the man take a hint?
"I want you to be honest," Dumbledore stated blankly.
"Ok," He strained.
The concern on his professor's stupid face made him want to scream. So just this once, he did not force his nails through his flesh. Just this once, as a birthday treat, he would risk detention.
"Ok, professor. You want me to tell the truth?"
"Yes!" Dumbledore sighed.
And with that one word, the latch clicked open within Grey.
"The truth, sir, is I want you to leave me the fuck alone!" Grey seethed.
The professor remained calm at his words.
"I want you to let me deal with this on my own. I don't need your help. I don't want it. I can look after myself. I always have and I have survived way worse than this." Grey did his best to keep the edge of fear he felt, out of his voice.
"I will be fine. I don't need you," He cursed internally as his voice cracked slightly. "I can do this on my own."
"I understand." Dumbledore conceaded.
The sympathy in his tone sent painful melancholy spreading through Grey's limbs. He was unsure why the lump was forming in his throat but the reality of his words caused his hands to shake. The sadness in Dumbledore's eyes was too much to bear so he averted his gaze.
Tenderly, he felt the professor lay a hand on his shoulder as he passed.
"Happy Birthday Grey." He muttered before leaving.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grey spent the rest of his day, curled up on the couch in the vanishing room on the seventh floor, Frankenstein open on his lap. He struggled to get much reading done as he kept replaying the conversations in his mind. The relief and excitement for his future had not returned, instead, he was accompanied by a sick feeling in his stomach.
He missed Richard and Derric most that day, and he did not attend lunch or dinner. The holidays passed in silence and solitude.
Grey had never felt more alone and he knew it was all his fault.