Chapter 3
Ettore 5/8 years
Sometimes I miss my mother. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my parents and I enjoy spending time with the rest of the family, whether it's playing video games with Dali and their mom, coming up with new pranks with Be and dad, teaching Quidditch to Draco along with Uncle Regulus, practicing defense techniques with Cari and her mom, helping Luna and her parents find inspiration for their new stories, or cooking with Aunt Cissa, Papa, and Cari.
But I still have these blurry memories of a song, of which I can't remember the lyrics or the melody, but it used to calm me down. Jokes and conversations that I can't fully understand, but always entertained me. Until recently, it was frustrating because I could never gather enough to remember. It was always too distant and blurry for me to comprehend, but close enough to tempt me. Usually, I would just brush it off, pretending it was just a dream. However, after the 6th or 7th time I "dreamed" about the same thing and after hearing Aunt Pandora talk about dreams and their hidden meanings, I decided to do the same thing I always do when I'm scared or unsure of what's going to happen: I went to ask my parents if they knew the woman of my dreams.
When I told them, they visibly became uncomfortable and kind of ignored my question, trying to divert my attention or giving half-answers. They kept doing this for almost a week before calling Be and me for a talk.
First, they asked Be if she had been having any strange dreams or anything like that. In her case, she denied it, saying she never remembers the dreams she has. Then they showed me a picture of the same strange woman who had been appearing in my dreams. When I saw her, the dreams stopped being so blurry and even though I still couldn't understand or hear anything she said, I could now see her and the room clearly. She was beautiful, with dark brown hair and a face covered in freckles, slightly tanned skin, and eyes that were a mix of green and honey or amber. In the photo, she was wearing a ("Teal Vintage Cap Sleeve Swing Dress" blue-green), but in my dreams, she was always wearing a ("Mintlimit women's 1950s retro vintage cocktail party 3/4 sleeve swing dress" green.). They asked me if it was her that I had been seeing in my dreams and when I replied yes, they then explained that she was our mother.
Apparently, she died from some Muggle illness and since she never knew she was sick, she couldn't use magic to heal herself. As she didn't have any close relatives and our father didn't want anything to do with us after she died, Papa and dad decided to adopt us and used some kind of potion to make us be considered their biological children. This apparently changed our appearance, and they, as if to give us a new life, gave us new names. That's why each of us has a different last name. Since Be was very young at the time, she has no memory of our mother, and since our parents weren't close to her, it's not like I really know anything or knew her, but I can't help but feel like I'm somehow replacing her, as if she would be disappointed with me for not trying to learn about her.
This always makes me feel bad. Aunt Cissa usually says it's just moods and that I don't need to worry, and in a way, that makes me feel worse because it shows that they care about me. Even though I already knew that, it's good to know that there are people who want you around and love you unconditionally, no matter what you like or don't like to do or how good you are at something. But precisely because of this realization, I end up feeling terrible because I know they all worry about me and it feels like at some point, they will just realize that I'm too much trouble. Not exactly getting rid of me, but maybe they will start caring less. Or worse, if the fact that I can't express how much I appreciate their efforts, or how much I love my family, causes them to distance themselves from me, thinking that's what I want.
"Hey Ettore, watch out, almost knocked you over."
"DRACONIS, LUNA, AND DALIGOR, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO PLAY BALL INSIDE THE HOUSE?"
"Sorry, mom." "Sorry, Aunt."
"Let the kids have some fun, Cissa. It's not like it's really a big problem for them to play inside."
"You say that now, but I want to see when, instead of breaking a family vase, they knock down your ingredient shelf, Dora."
That's why I love these moments, nothing is really happening, we're simply gathered for a lunch at Aunt Dora and Uncle Xenophilus' house, all of us having fun in our own way: Dad is talking with Uncle Lucius, Uncle Snape, and Aunt Dorcas in the kitchen, Aunt Cissa is with Aunt Dora, Dad, and Uncle Regulus discussing some book that Aunt Dora gave them, Aunt Bella is with Cari, Be, and Nashi showing ways to dodge stunning spells without needing to use a wand.
I love it when we can all be ourselves without having to put on a mask, just enjoying each other's company and having fun. This kind of thing always helps to calm the voices in my head. So what if I never met my mother? I'm sure she couldn't cook better than Aunt Cissa, I bet Aunt Dora and Uncle Snape are much better at potions. She could never cast a spell like Aunt Dorcas or Aunt Bella, I'm sure she couldn't tell a story like Uncle Xenophilus and Uncle Lucius, or play Quidditch like Uncle Regulus, let alone chase away nightmares like Dad or sing like Papa. Maybe I didn't get to know my birth mother, but that doesn't mean I don't have an amazing family.
"Hey Dali, pass that to me."
"What? No! It's unfair, you two against us!"