Blackest Nights

Scorpia worried at her lip as she stared at the imposing door to the potions lab. It was hardly the first time she'd been here after the evening meal given Snape's odd vendetta against her...but this felt different. He'd been acting odd today, and while she'd certainly been hoping to catch his attention in a positive way, she didn't know how to read his reactions from earlier, and that was making her nervous. What if...what if he'd just shut down like Petunia would do when she did something really bad? She'd always get weirdly quiet and suddenly less emotional when she got the angriest, and those were always the worst times when they got home. Those times she was so much worse than Vernon, she was slower, she hurt more, she hurt longer, she couldn't shout or scream or it would be so much worse.

Oh Goddesses, that's what was going to happen wasn't it? She had to get away! But if she ran it would be worse, she should hide, she needs to find her cupboard, Vernon was never as mad when she went right to her cupboard. It wouldn't stop him, but he wouldn't go as far, she had to find her cupboard! But she couldn't see it, she couldn't find it, she had to breath, she couldn't breath! She couldn't hide if she couldn't breath, she didn't know what to do, she had to hide, she had to hide, shehadtohideshehadtohideshehadto-

"Potter? Potter!"

Potter? Who's Potter? Did someone call her by a name again, she knew freaks didn't get names, it's not her fault some people try and give her one, she should apologize, maybe that would help, but she'd have to breath first!

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she flinched violently back, and felt herself run into cold stone walls. Cold stone? Where was she? The house didn't have cold stone walls, she wasn't in the house? But she'd been bad, if she wasn't in the house and she got caught-

"Breath child. Breath with me, in and out, breath in...."

Freak knew she should obey, obeying was easier, if she obeyed there wasn't as much trouble.

"Good, now out..."

Freak let her breath go, and followed the voice, taking deep breaths. Eventually she began to become more aware of her surroundings, she was in Hogwarts, the Dursley's were far away, she wasn't Freak, she was Scorpia, Scorpia Bellatrix-Lily Black, and she should be better than this! She felt hot tears of frustration run down her cheeks at her own weakness, she had gotten through most of the year without breaking down in a public area like this hallway, and now, just because Snape had acted a little weird she-

"Potter, are you more present?"

Scorpia flinched, and couldn't control the words that fell out of her mouth, "I-I'm so-sorry Aunt-t Petu-tunia."

"Did you just say...Petunia?"

Suddenly everything fell away as the last bits of her awareness clicked into place. That voice, the person she'd just called Petunia...

Scorpia looked up in horror to see Snape utterly stone still, a look of dawning horror on his face.

They both sat there, motionless for a moment, until Snape broke the silence in a strained voice, "I...believe there are many things for us to discuss."

~~~

The situation was...surreal. Of all the things that Scorpia had thought might happen tonight, hoped or dreaded might happen, being wrapped in a blanket holding a steaming mug of tea on a couch in Professor Snape's personal quarters was not one of them.

Judging by the pinched look on the professor's face it wasn't something he'd expected to happen either.

They'd sat in silence as the tea brewed, but now both found themselves staring awkwardly at each other, neither knowing how to break the topic of what had just happened.

Eventually however, it was Snape who spoke up. "I...in light of what just happened I believe I might owe you something of...an apology. However, I do not believe that either of us are currently prepared to handle that conversation, so instead, we will discuss what you were originally coming in for. Afterwards we will address all of...this."

It was a stalling tactic and they both knew it. Neither was looking forward to the conversation they were going to have, but both knew it couldn't be completely avoided.

Scorpia took a shaky sip of her tea before speaking, "My...potion then?"

Snape nods, "Your potion. Frankly, if I were more crass, I'd be phrasing this far differently, but really, what was that? I've been grading your homework and watching you attempt to brew for nearly an entire year, and never once did you show competency, let alone the practically prodigious talent you displayed earlier today. And I also recognize that the skill you showed today can not be a new occurrence. Explain."

Scorpia took a deep breath, this was potions talk, she could do this, this is essentially what she wanted in the first place right? "Well...I...I like cooking, and I'm really really good at it, even if...they like to pretend otherwise. And when I got the first set of potions texts, it struck me that it was really a lot like cooking, just...more complex, and with magic. Magic! I was still, honestly am still, reeling over the fact that magic is real, and this was magic in something I already enjoyed! So I...I hid the book so it wouldn't be-nevermind. I read the book cover to cover three times, in the month between getting my supplies and going to King's Cross. I was cross-referencing the herbology book the whole time too, which certainly helped my understanding of the subject since I wound up reading through the text like...twice just because of that. When I was cooking meals I'd practice the stirring and ingredient prep techniques as best I could, a lot of them really are similar to cooking so it was fairly easy to get away with it.."

Scorpia giggled, it had a bit of a hysteric edge to it that niggled something in the back of Snapes mind, but he chose not to comment on it and allowed her to continue.

"I actually pretended I was brewing any time I was cooking a stew or a soup! Obviously there were things I had to fix when I got here with some of my techniques, nothing beats the practice of real brewing, but I was close enough to fix those issues pretty quickly."

Snape raised an eyebrow, "As impressive as that is for someone...apparently new to magic, the skill you showed today couldn't have been only gained through 'pretend' brewing and technique practice. Your performance today was one of someone who has brewed the wideye potion more than once, especially given the alteration you made. And the potion recovery as well, I pioneered that recovery method, I know for a fact that to be as familiar with it as you apparently were would require you to have performed it more than once for the wideye potion alone. And you still haven't explained why, if you had this level of skill and interest, you never showed any of it until today."

Scorpia determinedly refused to meet his gaze, and nervously rubbed her legs together, causing Snape to sigh, "Potter...I cannot believe I'm saying this, but this one time only my curiosity has outweighed my better judgement. Anything you tell me in here, tonight, will not leave this room, and will not result in your being punished. Within reason."

Scorpia looked at him briefly, considering, then took another breath and continued, "Well...I...I saw your name as a contributor to the first year potions text since you'd improved several of the potions in it, and I recognized it almost immediately when I saw you listed on our class schedule, so I got curious and...may have tried to research you? I thought, since you were in the book, maybe you were in others, and I found out during that first week that you were the youngest potions master in history, and I kind of...got absorbed following up on your papers and publications. I...still can't understand all of them, but with enough cross referencing I was able to get an idea, and eventually start to understand what they were about. Of course, before I really got past the point of having found you in the library, I had you in class."

Snape looked like he'd just bit into something sour, "I...suppose that I didn't leave the best impression on you?"

Scorpia surprised herself by laughing, "No, you didn't. I don't know what your problem is with me, and I don't really care at this point. Regardless, I still respected you, so I kept looking into your publications, though after the second week I tried to focus on things relevant to the level of potions we'd be doing this year. The recovery process was in the same paper you published about making the cure for boils more potent, which is why I knew about it at all. As for practice...I...I knew I wasn't going to be able to show how much I actually knew, which killed any real attempts I wanted to make to try and gain your respect despite how much you hated me, but I still hated the idea of not brewing the potions right. So...I found a well ventilated, abandoned classroom and started practicing brewing. I'd brew the potion we were working on over and over just to prove I could, and I'd start experimenting with them a little. Finding the safest and most interesting ways to mess them up in your class, trying out changes based on your own papers. That's how I figured out the thing with the billywig strings actually, I was trying to use the ingredients in the wideye potion in a way that would just...nullify it completely, and instead...well...I made it better."

Snape pinched his nose, "Are you telling me that you were brewing, alone, and experimenting on your potions without any safety precautions other than confirming that the room was ventilated!?"

Scorpia shrunk in on herself a bit, "You said I wouldn't-"

"Won't get in trouble, yes. And I'll stand by that, but we will discuss this further, and we will find you a better option for brewing practice."

Scorpia could hardly believe her ears, "You-you really mean it? That's-you'll help me?"

Snape shook his head, something between a fond look and a wave of frustration crossing his features, as if he recognized that he was becoming fond of her but hated himself for it. "We'll discuss it. There's still too much to go over. Like the fact that you still have not explained where this skill has been all year, and the fact that you used a charm I don't teach my students until they're NEWT level."

Scorpia blushed and looked away, "Oh...um...it wasn't really easy to find enough time to brew everything at once...especially with being forced to be on the quidditch tean…and I did have to study for my other classes, I wanted to know what I was learning even if I couldn't show it...even if I spent most of my time on potions...well potions and transfiguration but potions is definitely my biggest interest, so I kinda went looking for anything that would let me extend the brewing time or let me set it aside or...something. I found that spell like...three weeks after Christmas. It took me a week or so of practice, but eventually I got it. Is it really NEWT level? It was harder than the charms we're learning in first year, but...not by much."

"It is a NEWT spell Potter, not because of it's difficulty, but because I generally don't trust students with the ability to pause a potion mid-brew and not use it to get away with brewing things they really shouldn't. However...I can appreciate the effort and dedication necessary for you to learn it on your own."

Scorpia blinked, she could barely believe it, she'd just gotten a compliment from Snape! "Oh-uh...thank you sir. I...thanks."

Snape looked distinctly uncomfortable at the fact that he'd just complimented her, and pressed on, "Yes, well...moving on, I noticed you still avoided answering my question about your performance. However, given what happened earlier, I have a guess."

Scorpia found herself looking at the table, unable to meet Snapes eyes.

"You grew up in a...less than ideal home. The home of one Petunia Dursley and her walking heart attack of a husband. Further, I imagine that one of the many ways they mistreated you was to 'punish' you if you ever did better than their spawn?"

Scorpia winced, "H-how?"

"I was close friends with your mother, and for a time I kept tabs on her sister for...personal reasons. I stopped once their child was born."

"Personal reasons?"

Snape sighed, "After your mother died, I thought that the followers of the Dark Lord might find her and attempt to retaliate. I hated the woman, but I suppose I attempted to protect her out of some sense of misplaced duty after your mother died. I will not be explaining further."

Scorpia gulped, "O..ok."

Snape let out another, weary sigh and dragged his hand down his face, "I...owe you an apology Potter. I have...been unfair towards you due to issues I had with your father. Given your looks and certain...clearly incorrect tales of you I'd been led to believe, I took out my frustrations with him on you. You...deserve better than that at least, even if you are still a Gryffindor."

Scorpia didn't quite manage to hide her wince at being compared to her father again but luckily Snape either missed it, or chose not to comment on it.

"I will not allow you to return to them Potter...Harry. I suppose you deserve to be called by your name after everything."

Scorpia frowned and squirmed, but this time Snape did not remain silent, "Child, if you do not tell me what name you prefer you will have to deal with me calling you by your deadname."

Scorpia's jaw dropped and she gaped at Snape, who just continued talking, "You are hardly the first student like yourself to be in these halls, nor will you be the last. I know for a fact that you and Draco have been meeting frequently, and that child is just as obvious as you are."

"Y-you-obvious!? W-wait, but-you knew we were I-what-"

"Please stop. Yes, you both are obvious, from the first day of term I could see how you seemed to shrink at being called mister, and even with how I was treating you, I'm still not cruel enough to keep up that kind of language, or out you. Or did you really not notice that I do not refer to you, or Draco, with gendered terms? I do not know what you prefer, and even if I did, you clearly haven't decided to make that information public, so I avoid them all together."

Scorpia looked down at her hands, "I...I kind of want to tell you? I mean, I've wanted you to actually...I don't know, acknowledge me? For so long, but..."

"But you don't trust me?"

Scorpia nods sullenly.

"Good. You shouldn't trust blindly. And I've hardly earned that trust. I'm honestly not sure if I can, or want to. You are certainly not the child I thought you were, but all that means at this time is I will treat you as a blank slate, albeit one with the benefit of an admittedly refreshing appreciation and talent for potions. Continue to prove yourself throughout the year, and I will form my opinions of you through our interactions. I will work on finding a way to remove you from that house you're in, though I don't doubt Draco has already hatched some plans of his own, and at the end of the year, we'll meet again and discuss possibly altering your potions course to be more fitting. In the mean time, I will set aside one of the spare labs for your use, but you must inform me every time you intend to brew, what alterations you plan to do if any, and I must give you approval to go forward, agreed?"

Scorpia couldn't believe her luck, and was quick to answer, "Yes, yes! Agreed."

"Good, then we're done here, I'll lead you back to your common room as it is too late for you to be in the halls alone. Come see me after the feast tomorrow and I'll show you the room you'll be allowed to use."

With that Snape got up and led Scorpia from his quarters, through the potions class room and to the door, only to stop short when he opened it.

"Miss Granger, Malfoy, why are you at my door after curfew?"