Chapter 21
"Boggarts like dark, enclosed places," Remus explained. Wardrobes, the gap beneath the beds, the cupboards under the sinks -- I've even met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock. This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the Headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third years some practice.
"So, the first question we must ask ourselves is, what is a boggart?"
Hermione's hand was first in the air, as usual. Harry's hand joined her, along with a few Slytherins'.
"Miss Granger," Remus said.
"It's a shape-shifter," Hermione said. "It can take the shape of whatever it thinks will frighten us most."
"Couldn't have put it better myself," Remus said warmly. "Two points to Gryffindor.
"So, the boggart sitting in the darkness within has not yet assumed a form. He does not yet know what will frighten the person on the other side of the door. Nobody knows what a boggart looks like when he is alone, but when I let him out, he will immediately become whatever each of us most fears.
"This means that we have a huge advantage over the boggart before we begin. What is that advantage?"
This time Remus called on a Slytherin.
"There are so many of us, it won't know what shape it will be, sir," Blaise answered.
"Correct, two points to Slytherin," Remus smiled. "It's always best to have company when you're dealing with a boggart. He becomes confused. Which should he become, a headless corpse or a flesh-eating slug? I once saw a boggart make that very mistake -- tried to frighten two people at once and turned himself into half a slug. Not remotely frightening.
"The charm that repels a boggart is simple, yet it requires force of mind. You see, the thing that really finishes a boggart is laughter. What you need to do is force it to assume a shape that you find amusing.
"We will practice the charm without wands first. After me, please... Riddikulus!"
"Riddikulus!" the class chanted.
"Very good," Remus grinned. "But that was the easy part, I'm afraid. You see, the word alone is not enough. Who would like to face the boggart first?"
Hermione's hand shot up, and Remus smiled in amusement. "Miss Granger, if you would come forward, please."
The bushy-haired girl hurried up to stand in front of the wardrobe.
"First things first: what would you say is the thing that frightens you the most in this world?" Remus asked.
Hermione bit her lip and then blanched. "My parents finding out... a secret of mine."
Ron and Harry exchanged slightly concerned looks.
"Would you prefer that this area is silenced until you've finished facing your boggart?" Remus suggested gently.
Hermione hesitated, then whispered something to him. Remus blinked in surprise but answered quietly.
"I... I suppose you don't need to, then," Hermione said carefully.
"Can you think of a way to make this funny?" Remus asked.
Hermione frowned. Then she let out a slightly hysterical giggle. "Yes, Professor."
"When the boggart burst out of this wardrobe, Miss Granger, and sees you, it will assume the form of your parents," Remus said. "And you will raise your wand -- thus -- and cry 'Riddikulus' -- and the boggart will transform into the image you have chosen.
"If Miss Granger is successful, the boggart is likely to shift his attention to each of us in turn," Remus continued. "I would like all of you to take a moment now to think of the thing that scares you most and imagine how you might force it to something comical...."
Harry took advantage of the sudden silence to head over to Remus.
"Harry? What's wrong?" he asked quietly.
"My boggart is a Dementor," Harry told him softly.
"Ah," Remus said, eyes flashing gold. "Then it would be best if you sat this one out. Stay after class to fight your boggart. It will give you time to think of something funny to replace it with."
Harry nodded and sat down in the back of the classroom.
The rest of the class was eventful. When Hermione cast the charm, it looked as if someone had sicked up a Pride Parade all over her parents. Parvati Patil's mummy tripped over its own wrappings. Seamus's banshee lost her voice. Dean's severed hand was caught in a mousetrap. Ron's Acromantula started skidding around on roller-skates. Lavender Brown easily took out the headless horseman. Fay Dunbar's was Freddy Fazbear.
The Slytherins' boggarts were a little rougher. Draco's Hippogriff turned bright pink from head to toe. Tracey's drunk father was suddenly trapped in bubble wrap. Pansy Parkinson's and Helena Rookwood's wolves became adorable puppies. Millicent Bulstrode's Inferi lost its head.
Then Theo stepped forward, and the boggart transformed into a dead man. Theo started shaking and crying. However, he still managed the spell, and the man started snoring loudly. Theo ran out of the room.
"Miss Davis, go after him," Remus said worriedly. Tracey rushed after him. Ron stared after them.
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle both had to face their angry fathers, but they managed easily. Finally, it was Blaise's turn.
The boggart turned into five men. They were varying ages and races, and one was vampire. They were eyeing Blaise with emotions ranging from anger to disgust to hunger.
The vampire spoke in crooning Italian. The remaining Slytherins blanched, and Draco looked like he was going to throw up.
Blaise froze and started hyperventilating. His eyes started flickering between chocolate brown and jet black. Draco darted out the room, shouting, "I'm getting Professor Snape!"
Remus lunged between the boggart and the petrified boy, and the boggart transformed into Sirius. Remus looked shocked and then slightly panicked.
"Did you really think I would love you?" the boggart sneered, stalking closer to the werewolf. "Weak, pathetic were-"
"Riddikulus!" a voice snapped.
The students -- minus Blaise -- spun around to find Severus Snape with his wand pointed at the boggart. It let out a yelp as it was suddenly pulled into the air by its own ankle. Severus flicked his wand again, and the boggart was shoved back into the old wardrobe.
Severus immediately strode over to Blaise, who was still panicking. He muttered a spell under his breath, and Blaise gasped, collapsing. Severus caught him before he could fall.
"I'm taking Mr. Zabini to the hospital wing, Lupin," Severus told Remus, who looked distraught. "You are an idiot if you think your Mutt isn't in love with you," Severus sneered. "He's whipped for you."
"What?" Harry frowned. He wasn't the only one who looked confused.
Remus, who had turned slightly red at Severus' statement, said, "I'll tell you when you're older.
"Two points to everyone who fought the boggart," he added. "Class dismissed. Harry, would you mind waiting until Saturday to fight the boggart?"
"Fine," Harry agreed, as the rest of the class began leaving, except for Hermione, Ron, Neville, and Draco, who had reentered the classroom, panting. "I want to see if Theo's okay, anyway."
"He is in the hospital wing as well," Severus told Harry. "Miss Davis is with him."
"Go talk to Sirius," Harry ordered Remus, nodding to Severus. "Are you coming with us to the hospital wing?" he asked his Gryffindor friends.
"Of course," Hermione agreed. Neville nodded, giving Blaise a faintly concerned and understanding look. Blaise returned it with a slightly horrified expression.
"I will escort you," Severus told them.