First year, chapter 5
Remus held his daughter as she sobbed into his chest. When McGonagall had sent for him, saying that Sam needed him, he hadn’t known what to expect. So now, he waited, letting his daughter have a good cry, and then let her tell him what was bothering her.
Remus didn’t have to wait long, Sam’s tears soon cam to a stop as she sat straight and wiped her cheeks and eyes. Remus rubbed circles on her beck, and gave her a knowing look.
“What’s wrong?” He asked her. Sam took a deep breath, then finally looked up at him. She pulled a pice of paper out of her pocket and showed it to Remus. Remus’s heart leapt up into his throat as he stared down at the picture.
It was Sirius’s mugshot.
“A couple of students decided that I looked like his mugshot.” Sam said quietly, looking down at her hands. Remus couldn’t move his eyes away from the picture. Sirius look horrid. He was bleeding, crying, and his eyes looked empty.
Remus looked up, taking a breath, and fixing his eyes on his daughter. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. Sam did look so much like Sirius, but for students to taunt her about the mugshot was awful.
“I know you didn’t want me finding out about him, but I was able to figure it out,” Sam explained, then let out another huff. “I figured it out nearly a year ago.”
Everything suddenly clicked in Remus’s head. “Thats why you’ve been so angry with me,” He whispered, feeling like an idiot. Sam shrugged.
“I was waiting for the day you would sit me down and explain everything, and when that day never came, I felt like it never would,” She told him. Remus sighed. “And now I feel this shame just for being his daughter.”
Those words shattered Remus’s heart. “Oh, Sam,” He started, looking her in the eyes. “That…he..” Remus took a breath. “Sirius, even though he may be your father dose not mean you need to feel any shame for the things he did.”
Sam didn’t look convinced, so Remus continued. “You know, after it all happened, I felt shame to,” He began, preparing himself to go down that road. “I felt so guilty that I hadn’t noticed anything, or stopped him, even though I didn’t know he would do that. A week after he had been arrested I sent him the divorce papers, but the shame was still there.”
Remus remembered that horrid day when he had decided divorcing Sirius was for the best. He had sobbed as he signed his own set of papers, then sent the rest off to Azkaban. He had cried the entire night until Molly had come the next morning to drop Sam off. She had been able to pull Sirius from the bed and tell him that he had done the right thing. To this day, Remus still didn’t know if that choice had been the right one.
“So to deal with this shame,” Remus went on. “I decided I would only focus on you, and knowing that if it hadn’t been for Sirius, then I wouldn’t have you. It took some of the shame away, but to this day, some of it is still there.”
Sam looked thoughtful as she leaned her head on Remus’s shoulder. She was looking at the mugshot that laid on Remus’s lap.
“I do look like him,” She admitted, then began to tear up again. “And I really hate it.”
Remus pulled her closer, kissing the top of her had. “Honey, you don’t have to hate the fact that you look like him, you inherited good genes.” He said, trying to lighten the mood. He smiled wen she gave out a small laugh. “And plus, you look more like your uncle, Regulus.”
Sam glance up at him. “The sorting hat said I was like him.” She said. Remus smile down at her.
“Regulus was a good man, he left this world to soon.” Remus decided he wouldn’t tell her that Regulus was also a Death Eater, although Regulus didn’t have a choice. Remus always believed that, if given the chance, Regulus would have gone another way.
He only wished he could believe the same thing for Sirius.
Remus soon left, leaving Sam to head to her dorm. She hadn’t expected Draco to be waiting for her in the common room, holding her Walkman. When she spotted him, looking at her from the couch, she smiled and sat down next to him. He offered her the Walkman.
“I thought you would be wanting this.” He told her. She grabbed the Walkman from him, putting the headphones around her neck and pressing play while turning the volume up so that both her and Draco could hear the soft buzz of the music. She felt herself relax as ‘Songs for Bob Dylan’ came on. Draco seemed to enjoy it to as he swayed with the music.
The both sat there together, snuggled into the couch and watching the fire burn as the music filled their ears. “Harry and Ron have a weeks detention and got fifty points from Gryffindor.” Draco said to her. Sam nodded.
“Serves them right.” She mumbled. That made Draco laugh and look to her.
“They’re idiots. Hopefully they’ve learned their lesson.” He said. Sam scoffed.
“Not Ron, he’s to stubborn.” She huffed. Draco tilted his head.
“You know Ron from before Hogwarts?” He asked. Sam nodded.
“His parents knew my dad well. I used to go over to the Weasley’s all the time, and me and Ron used to be good friends. Then last year, he told me that he hated me, and at first I was confused because I hadn’t done anything wrong, but then he explained to me that my father was Sirius Black, a murdered,” She told Draco, remembering that day. “He was the one that had told me who my father was. Thats how I figured it out.”