Past Times

Yet again, Sirius achieves a full nights sleep with not one nightmare. He wakes up and doesn’t have the compulsory need to clean things and distract his mind and he just lays in bed, wrapped in his blankets.

That is until James throws open his door, who is clearly an early riser. He looks as though he’s been up for hours though Sirius could swear the house was silent when he opened his eyes.

“Morning Sirius! Wanna go get coffee with me? My friend, Remus, recently got a job at the new cafe and I feel like bothering him,” James announces cheerily, completely ignoring the fact that Sirius isn’t even half as awake as he is.

Despite his drowsy state, Sirius’ heart again picks up pace at the mere mention of Remus’ name. He’s never even met the bloke or heard of the name. Maybe getting up and running to go get coffee this soon isn’t so terrible an idea.

“Sure mate,” Sirius says, his voice raspy with sleep, “let me throw some clothes on and we’ll go.”

At that, James leaves Sirius to get dressed, whistling as he walks towards the kitchen. How is he this awake so early? It’s unfair.

Sirius gets ready and they’re out the door in fifteen minutes; would’ve been five if Sirius didn’t take his time “primping” as James so kindly put it. Sirius can’t get his heart to slow the hell down thinking about meeting this Remus.

They make it to the cafe in five minutes and the door chimes as James opens it.

“Well good morning, good looking,” James teases the second he makes eye contact with Remus, who is standing behind the counter. Remus looks exasperated.

“I can and will kick you out Potter,” is Remus’ sweet reply. James just laughs as he plants his elbows down on the counter Remus is standing behind.

They chat, but the conversation is lost to Sirius. He was completely unprepared for Remus. James calling him “good looking” was an understatement. To Sirius, he’s fucking breathtaking. Genuinely, Sirius’ breath hitched the moment he saw Remus and it’s been wonky since. He can’t explain or understand why.

“Oi, Sirius!” James calls his name, waving a hand in front of his face and Sirius gets the feeling James has been saying his name quite a few times.

“Yes?” Sirius replies distractedly, still not fully checking into the conversation.

“I’m trying to introduce you two and you’re busy zoning out. How tired are you mate?” James sounds amused and has a small smile on his face, threatening ti grow larger. “Now, as I was saying, Remus, this is Sirius, Sirius, this is Remus.”

“I’m sure he can read the name tag, James,” Remus mutters. Sirius might be imagining it, but Remus looks just as distracted by Sirius as Sirius is with him. Rather ridiculously, Sirius really hopes Remus is distracted by him.

“James calling you good looking was a fair assessment,” Sirius teasingly (seriously) flirts with Remus, winking at him as he joins James leaning on the counter.

Remus goes red. Sirius is amused and flustered himself.

James gasps softly like he’s had a startling realization.

“Oh! Remus, is he the one you-“

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stop talking.” Remus cuts James off, glaring at him. What just happened? Sirius is beyond confused.

James, however, is not. He looks amused like Remus snapping at whatever he was going to say confirmed whatever it is he was about to ask.

“So it is! I was right!” James says, pointing at Remus, who looks mortified, with bright eyes and a huge grin spread across his face.

“Seems like you don’t know what’s good for you Potter.” Remus grits out, his jaw clenched. He looks five seconds away from bolting.

“Uh..sorry, did I miss something?” Sirius asks, who did indeed miss something. He can tell.

“Yes,” James answers at the same time Remus says, rather sharply, “No.”

Remus turns his gaze back to James, “What have you told him? What does he know? James I swear I will punch you, I’m not joking.”

“Calm down, moons,” James says through laughter, “all I said was you believe you had a past life which you still remember fully.” James explains, waving a hand lazily. He says it offhandedly, but Remus looks like he’s about to uphold his promise and punch James.

“James! Why would you say that? How does that even come up in a conversation?” Remus sputters out, his hands balled into fists on the counter.

Sirius is now even more confused than before. Was he somehow involved in Remus’ supposed past life? Was Remus involved in his past life, if he did have one?

“Okay, I’ve definitely missed something,” Sirius decides to cut into the conversation, “can either of you fill me in?”

“Stay out of this Padfoot,” Remus says, then snaps his mouth shut as soon as the nickname (Sirius’ nickname maybe?) falls out of his mouth and his eyes widen.

“Padfoot?” James and Sirius question as one. James still doesn’t look the slightest bit confused. No, he looks amused. Sirius is still thoroughly confused. Through his confusion, the nickname causes a feeling of familiarity in him. He’s never heard that name in his life so how does it feel familiar? It feels as though some part of him has been waiting to be called this ridiculous nickname.

“Order and leave.” Remus says through a clenched jaw.

James coughs. “You know, we’ll just make coffee at home.” His voice sounds awkward and unsure, “See you later Remus.” James flashes a grin at Remus as he pulls Sirius out of the cafe and they leave a visibly frustrated Remus standing at the counter, his jaw clenched so tightly you’d need to wrench it apart.

“What the hell was all that?” Sirius questions James once they’re outside and walking back to their flat.

“Uh… I don’t really.. know,” James replies, his eyebrows furrowed. “He tends to get a bit miffed when the subject of this past life of his gets brought up.” James continues as he scratches at the side of his neck.

“He didn’t seem miffed, he sounded angry,” Sirius doesn’t understand why, but he feels a flare of anger ignite in himself due to Remus so clearly not wanting him there.

“Yeah, sorry mate. Maybe we could invite him and my other friend, Peter, over later. Surely he’ll be fine by then.”

Sirius would never admit it, but he’s more than willing to invite Remus over to his and James’ flat later. Though this Peter… Sirius doesn’t really feel like having him around. Yet again, he can’t understand or explain why.

————————————————————————————

They do, in fact, invite Remus and Peter over later that same day. For all that Sirius didn’t feel comfortable having Peter be in his flat, he finds he doesn’t mind his company and sort of enjoys his small witty comments.

Remus however is just as kind as he was in the cafe earlier. He didn’t even say hi to Sirius when he came in, but he was more than pleasant with James. It makes Sirius a tad angry with James.

Though things get interesting when Regulus shows up at the flat.

James sits up a bit straighter the moment he sees Regulus and Remus huffs out a soft laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Sirius asks, arching an eyebrow at him.

“Oh, nothing,” Remus replies while a smirk plays at his lips, “just waiting to see how they interact is all.”

There’s mischief shining in his eyes and a smirk on his lips. Sirius wants so badly to be annoyed that he doesn’t have the slightest clue what’s so amusing about James and Regulus interacting, but he’s admittedly a little distracted at the moment.

“Oh, hello again,” James says to Regulus, “Regulus isn’t it?”

“Yes, James that’s my name,” Regulus replies, a small smile tucked away like a secret, “you heard Sirius say it before.”

“Right. Care to join us?” James asks, leaning over the arm of the sofa he’s on with a lopsided smile on his face. Sirius gets a sense of familiarity, watching his brother and new friend…flirt? Why does this feel almost natural to see?

“Fix your face,” Regulus ignores James’ question, much to his visible disappointment, to talk to Sirius.

“There’s nothing wrong with my face, I’m strikingly handsome. Many would agree,” Sirius says and makes a show of flicking his hair back.

“Give it a rest. I wasn’t calling you ugly, you were looking at me weird,” Regulus retorts and rolls his eyes so hard his head tilts with the motion.

James coughs, not liking that his question was ignored, and Sirius snorts at the look on his face.

“Yes, James, I’ll join you all,” Regulus huffs out and moves to sit next to James on the sofa, much to his delight.

“We need music,” Sirius decides, feeling like an idiot for not already putting any on yet.

“Don’t you dare-

“Oh, I’m putting on Bowie.” Sirius cuts in before Regulus even finishes his sentence.

“Every time,” Regulus grumbles under his breath, slumping back against the sofa.

“Don’t act like you don’t love him.”

Sirius connects his phone to the speaker in the living room and plays his all time favorite by Bowie, Moonage Daydream. This song always causes a sense of strong longing for something or someone he’s never felt before and for some reason, that makes him love it.

Bowie’s voice filters out of the speaker and fills the room with music and Sirius smiles to himself. He really loves this song.

He turns back to the others and sees Remus quietly mouthing the words to the song.

“You’re a Bowie fan too?” Sirius blurts out, absolutely ecstatic to have acquired this information about Remus. Though a part of him somehow just knows this already.

Peter and James snort at the same time, “Moony is quite obsessed with him. Makes us listen to him anytime he’s in charge of music.” Peter explains looking fond.

“Oh, this is amazing! Finally, I have someone who knows what true music is.” Sirius declares and goes to sit beside Remus on the floor in front of the sofa.

“Thank you, these two complain every time I get music control.” Remus complains and points to James and Peter behind them.

“That’s because Bowie is all you play.” Peter mutters and Sirius can hear the slight laughter in his tone.

“That’s because Bowie is peak music.” Remus replies and Sirius agrees wholeheartedly.

The song plays on and they all chat easily and laugh together and everything just feels so right. To Sirius, this feels like something he’s been missing his whole life this far. Moonage Daydream doesn’t invoke that sense of longing and Sirius thinks he’s finally found the reason for that longing. These people around him are what he’s been longing for.

The smallest voice in the back of his mind tells him there’s one specific person here he’s been waiting for, but he smothers that thought before he even gets to who it is specifically.

Near the middle of the song, flashbacks of stolen glances, soft touches, tender smiles, and hidden kisses flash through his mind and he immediately turns towards Remus for some inexplicable reason.

When Sirius turns his gaze towards Remus, he’s already looking at him. Their eyes meet and for the slightest second, Sirius sees him in those flashbacks. The two stare at each other for a beat then look away at the same time. Sirius’ heart is racing and he’s hoping Remus’ is too otherwise this would just be embarrassing. The flashbacks continue.

Sirius hears soft whispers behind him and he leans against Remus slightly to see James and Regulus’ ducked together as they whisper softly to each other. His friend and his brother. James won Regulus over quite fast, which is a notable feat. Regulus always plays hard to get.

Sirius huffs out a quiet laugh to himself and turns back around, still leaning slightly against Remus. He doesn’t feel the need to move and frankly doesn’t want to.

“What’s so funny?” Remus asks, glancing at him with a small furrow between his eyebrows.

“Just how fast James was able to win over Reggie. He’s usually more stingy about this stuff,” Sirius explains with a small smile. He wants to be even a little weirded out by his friend fancying his little brother, but it feels all too natural to be weird.

“I’m not surprised,” Remus comments with a small smile of his own.

“Why’s that?”

“James is a very difficult person to try and avoid once he’s decided he wants to be in your life.”

“You say that like you tried avoiding him yourself,” Sirius says, dumbfounded as to why anyone wouldn’t want James in their life. He’s the sun personified. Who wouldn’t want the sun around?

“Well, I did for a bit. Though James is nothing if not persistent,” Remus replies with a slight shake of his head. Sirius just hums in acknowledgment.

After a beat of silence, Remus clears his throat and says, “Sirius, you’re leaning on me.”

“Good observation Remus,” Sirius notes, amused when Remus huffs. “Is there a problem with it?” Sirius is genuinely asking because he doesn’t want to make Remus uncomfortable.

“…No, no I suppose there’s not,” Remus answers and his voice has a soft touch to it, almost sad it sounds like. Sirius doesn’t want Remus to be sad either. He’s quite literally just met the bloke, but he’s really quite sure he’d go to any means to make sure he is never sad.

“Are you sure? Because if there is I’ll-“

“Sirius, it’s fine. Really,” Remus cuts in before Sirius can continue on.

Sirius accepts this and relaxes against Remus even more and Remus allows it. Sirius chats with Peter and Remus pulls out a book from somewhere and reads, James and Regulus still absorbed in each other.

At some point, Sirius notices that Remus has drifted off with his head slumped to the side, leaning against the sofa behind him. Sirius wants to wake him so he can offer him a place on the sofa that he’s sure Peter would be more than happy to give up for Remus, but he’s too entranced by Remus sleeping quietly. His lips are parted slightly, his hands slack against the book he was reading and his fingers twitching slightly every few seconds. His eyelids flutter slightly, but stay closed.

He looks really quite…soft like this. Peaceful. Sirius feels so incredibly lucky to be seeing this at all before he thinks it might be a little weird, watching someone he’s just met sleep.

“Shit, I’ve work early in the morning,” Peter announces suddenly, pushing himself off the sofa, “I’ll be off now. See you lot later, yeah?” He starts shoving his shoes on and makes his way to the door.

“See you Pete!” James calls, lifting his head away from Regulus’ for the first time to say goodbye to his friend.

“Bye Peter! Nice meeting you,” Sirius says, trying his best to be quiet enough to not wake Remus but loud enough so Peter can hear him as he walks out the door.

James looks down at him and laughs softly. “Fallen asleep, has he?”

“Seems like it,” Sirius replies, letting his gaze drop down to Remus again.

“We should wake him so he can go home and sleep in his bed instead of slumped against a sofa,” James suggests and the thought of ruining the peace painted on Remus’ face seems like a terrible idea, but Sirius knows it’s sensible to do as James says. So, with great strength, he gently shakes Remus awake.

“Reeeemuuuuus, you need to get up,” Sirius softly urges.

“That’ll never work mate,” James snorts and leans forward to start prodding at Remus’ limp body. “Oi! Moons, the house is on fire! We need to go!” James manages to make his voice sound convincingly alarming.

Remus jolts awake and blinks blearily a few times and sees the flat that’s clearly not blazing at the moment.

“You’re an ass, Potter,” Remus grumbles, his voice raspy with sleep and Sirius really likes how that sounds.

“Sorry moons, only way I know how to get you up,” James shrugs and doesn’t look the least bit apologetic for his actions. “Instead of sitting, slumped against a sofa, why don’t you go home and sleep on your bed?”

“So much work,” Remus complains even as he shifts to push to his feet. “Sirius, you’re going to need to stop leaning on me so I can leave,” Remus tells Sirius looking slightly amused and fond. Why would he be fond of Sirius so quickly?

Sirius ignores that little question and lifts himself off Remus, much to his dismay, so he can leave, also much to Sirius’ dismay.

“Bye, moons!” James cheers as Remus shoves his jumper on and then his shoes.

“Bye, Remus! Sleep well mate,” Sirius calls after him as he gives a small wave on his way out.

“Right, well I’m feeling tired myself,” Sirius declares as he starts to make his own way off the floor. He stretches out his limbs which feel stiff after being on the floor for so long. “I’m heading to bed. What are your guys’ plans?” Sirius asks.

James coughs. “We’re gonna stay up a bit longer, you go to sleep though if you’re tired.”

Sirius squints at them suspiciously.

“What is your problem? Just go to bed, Sirius,” Regulus tells him, rolling his eyes.

“You think I didn’t see you two whispering together the entire night?” Sirius questions his brother, folding his arms over his chest and arching an eyebrow at him. Regulus just stares at him, face blank. James, however, looks the tiniest bit bashful, but not the least bit guilty.

“Go to bed, Sirius,” Regulus repeats and makes a shooing motion with his hand.

“So cruel. Fine, fine, I’m going. Are you staying here tonight?”

“Yes.” Regulus answers with no hesitation at all and James chokes out a cough and looks away when Sirius glances at him.

Sirius slowly turns away from them and leaves them to each other while he goes to get ready for bed. He can still hear the soft voices coming from the living room as he slips into bed.

That night he dreams not of mischief making with James, but of soft, brown eyes and tender touches and hidden kisses.